Going to Disney after a Death

[4disneynuts]

We are to arrive at Disney World on Sunday the 16th. My sister-in-law committed suicide 2 days ago. It was my husbands only sister and it was a shock. My husband and I are traveling with our two daughters and their spouses and our new granddaughter. I told my husband we could cancel but he insists that we still go and says it will be good for us.

My question is has anyone else gone to Disney World very shortly after a death. We all have heavy hearts and I feel so sad. Did it help you to be there and was there something in particular that helped you not feel so sad?

Thank you!

[PawleyPlatoon]

Hi,

I'm a church organist and part of my job is playing for funerals. I have been doing this for over 30 years. If I've learned anything, it's this: different families grieve in different ways. There are no "correct" ways of grieving.

Also, I would go along with your husband as it is his sibling who has passed while making sure that the vacation at this point is really what he wants. You know him better than anyone.

I would also think about how your memories of this trip would be for you and the entire family. Again, only you know the answer to that.

I hope you can make the best decision for yourself and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

[Katzateer]

I hope you can go and enjoy your trip.

We had a funeral a few months ago 3 days before a wedding. The cousin that died suddenly was like a mom to her niece that got married (the mom of the niece had passed away when she was in grade school and the aunt was the main adult that raised her and her younger sibling). Even with it being so difficult, the decision was made to have the wedding and party at the reception like the cousin woud have wanted.

While not exactly the same, at a difficult time plans went on and it seemed to help with the pain.

[Hammer]

Many years ago, while I was in college, my father took our family for a few nights at Disney after my grandmother (my mother’s Mom) passed away from cancer. My Dad said that Mom just needed to get away from all of the drama and family stress of the situation and recharge. So he booked a 3 night stay at the Contemporary. As my Mom’s family lives in Tampa, it was an easy drive. It was exactly what was needed. It provided a good escape and opportunities for everyone to smile again. I never forgot what a positive experience that was for our family.

Fast forward to 2010. My Dad passed away after a short, but very grueling, battle with liver cancer. As you can imagine it was exceptionally stressful on my Mom, as well as my sister and I. So I contacted Deb and Nanci at Magical Journeys to book 3 nights at the Grand Floridian for us, a resort where Mom had always wanted to stay. Deb was able to book an incredible AP rate for Sugarloaf concierge for me. It was a great trip! We spent most of our time relaxing, especially at the pool. It was exactly what we needed. Yes, there were some moments of sadness, but many more moments where we were able to smile and laugh and share fond memories of Dad.

[SBETigg]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm wishing you all comfort and peace in this difficult time.

I think your husband is right, that it will be good for you. When I went to WDW with my family in 2010 after losing my best friend, my dog, and my grandmother (that was an awful year), the love, laughter, and happiness that comes with being at WDW was rejuvenating. I enjoyed seeing other people with their families having a good time. I had a new appreciation for simple, familiar things like the monorail spiel. I appreciated taking my time and taking in details.

But also, I avoided things that made me maudlin or over-sentimental, like Wishes. We still watched, but from the Polynesian beach and not in the park, where we could still enjoy the fireworks but without the message taking center stage. No amount of wishing can change some things. Time doesn't really make it easier, but acceptance sets in. You will always miss your loved one, but it helps to remember that your life goes on and there are memories to treasure, and new memories to be made.

[4disneynuts]

Thank you all for the well wishes and advice. Disney is like home for us so maybe just being there will give us some comfort and be a good distraction.

[Basket Mommy]

My husband's father passed away on January 14, 2002. We had a family trip planned to start on January 21st (me, hubby, 2 youngest kids, my parents, my sister). We had not purchased insurance, so we decided to go ahead and take the trip. At the last minute we asked my MIL to go with us (FIL passed away after a lengthy illness, so we thought she might enjoy the time away after taking care of him for so long.) It really helped all of us take our minds off of FIL's death for awhile. Yes, we still had fun, even though we were sad. It was my oldest 2 kids' first Disney trip (they were 3.5 and 1 at the time), so seeing Disney through their eyes was very therapeutic.

[joonyer]

Everybody grieves and deals with loss in different ways. If your husband says he still wants to go, Then you should go ahead with the trip.

[busterthebronco]

We went right after my wife's grandmother passed. We were very close to her.
It was still sad at moments but it was good to be somewhere that allowed us to relax and enjoy ourselves. We knew that she would've been upset if we didn't and have fun go because of her.