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Nun grading papers ( HUMOUROUS )
Can you imagine the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE ! WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11.. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12.. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15.. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17.. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19.. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20.. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22.. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23.. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24 CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
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Very cute. Some of them really fall into the grouping "from the mouth of babes".
- Lynn -
INTERCOT Staff: Theme Parks, DVC
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Jeff
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Excellent
Lifes a witch and then you fly
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"To All Who Come To This Happy Place, Welcome "
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Very funny!
Cara
1982, 1988, 1989 off site
1992 CBR & POFQ
1993 POFQ
1995 WL
1996 WL
1998 Poly
1999 BWI
Many day trips while at UF GO GATORS!!!!
2004 Off site
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Visits:
1997 - day trip
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Very cute
Marci
Many visits. Live 20 minutes from the parks.
Work at Universal Studios in Diagon Alley. Ollivanders/ wand magic.
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Thanks for posting!
"Believe me, it's the most exciting and challenging assignment we have ever tackled at Walt Disney Productions."
Walt Disney speaking on the future Disney World
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That's good stuff!
Michael
You ain't never had a friend like me!
DVC Owner - AKL
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Those were very cute. Thanks for the laugh!
ºoºKathyºoº TimeShare 12-12
GKTW June 2011,Off site Feb/March 2011
Dolphin and POFQ 8/10
POFQ Sept 08
ASMu Aug-Sept 07
Dolphin & CS-12/05. Mousefest & Dis Cruise
Dolphin & POR July 04,WDW-Dolphin June 02Dolphin 6/2000
Swan 6/99 -Dolphin March 98, March 94
+many more times offsite
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Funny!
I copied this to show my dad, a retired minister. I'm sure he will love it!! Thanks!
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