My boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me last December in Disney World. He is 25, I am 22. We thus far have not made a single serious wedding plan. The reason is, I JUST got my career job a month ago (teaching), but my pay is pretty paltry compared to what I could be making elsewhere. He is still looking to go back to school and find a new direction for his life. He is currently working as a butcher at a supermarket. He was going to the police academy but unfortunately hurt his back, had to have surgery, and was told he needed to find a new career path by his surgeon.
So what this all means is we don't have too much money, and still live at home with our parents. My parents just helped my brother move out and aren't sure when they'll be able to give me a number on how much they'll pay for. His parents aren't swimming in money either, so we are going to have to save up a lot on our own. Between the two of us, with our saved money and bonds in our names, we probably have enough money to swing a moderate wedding, but we wouldn't have much left over afterward for a house or even a decent apartment. Also we are currently living and working in separate states, so if we stay at our current jobs the cost of commuting (gas+tolls) will be pretty high. I have a number of unmarried couple friends who live together, paycheck to paycheck in dump apartments. I go over there from time to time and all that is in their house is cold pizza and ramen noodles. That is not how I want to live. I want to be comfortable.

This is OK with me... right now we are looking at a spring/summer 2010 wedding. Most adults applaud us for waiting, but my problem is more with friends my age. Almost everyone gets a look of shock on their face when I tell them what we're looking at. "WOW! That's a long time away! Why are you waiting???" I know they don't mean anything negative by it but I guess it kinda hurts sometimes...

Here is why it hurts: I would love to get married sooner. Sometimes I get a fleeting thought to elope and have a reception when we come back because I want nothing more than to come home to someone I love at the end of a long, stressful day. Also, the longer I have to wait the more unlikely it becomes that my soon to be 88 year old ailing grandfather will see my wedding. But at the heart of it, I understand that I have to approach this practically. I just wish others were more considerate sometimes.

In the past year a number of my friends have gotten engaged as well and are blessed enough to have their parents pay for everything right off the bat and they are already planned, dates set. I don't begrudge them that luxury but I wish they could understand how it makes me feel when they are shocked that I haven't begun planning yet. How can I plan when I even know what my budget will be yet? I even have one friend that isn't even engaged yet to a man she's been dating a year, but she has her whole wedding planned out (including the date, which would be before mine) because she knows he will propose to her this year and his parents will pay for it all. She actually said "Wouldn't that be sooo funny if I got married before you? Hah hah hah!" Um I guess?
Again, I am not jealous. I don't care if every single one of my friends got married before me, really. I just wish that they could understand my situation more.


Well, thanks for letting me vent.