Quantcast Feeling helpless
 
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Results 1 to 19 of 19
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 1999
    Location
    va beach, va usa
    Posts
    1,390
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    Default Feeling helpless

    As many know, we have been told that my mom has about a month to live. I have never felt so helpless in my life. I try to figure out what she needs but since she is having such a difficult time talking, i am frequently stumped. I try to move her position, offer food or drink, see if I can figure out if she is in pain....its like having a newborn. I felt much more competent with a newborn. Even my first.
    Today she had a period of unresponsiveness for 3-5 min with very faint vitals. Then she was back to status quo.
    I pray god is merciful and does not allow her to suffer for to long. Also, I find that I am going through the motions to just get things done and go through the day. When I let myself actually think about what is happening it is just too much to comprehend.

    Thank you for listening.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    2,394
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    Default

    I am so sorry. Praying comfort and peace for both of you.
    Carrie

    CBR: 2/21-2/25/17
    POR: 6/4-6/11/16
    POFQ: 11/15-11/19/15
    8/28-9/1/14 -DL-Dumbo 19.3 C2C
    POR: 1/7-1/14/14 -Dopey 48.6
    POR: 6/11-6/17/13
    ASMu: 1/11-1/15/13 -1st Full 26.2
    ASMu: 9/22-9/28/11
    ASMu: 6/7-6/13/11
    Pop: 1/30-2/6/10
    Pop: 2/1-2/7/09
    Pop: 1/08
    ASMu: 05/06
    Off-site: 12/93

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    New London, WI
    Posts
    3,437
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    Default

    So sorry for you and your family. You will be in my thoughts.
    Jodie

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois
    Posts
    219
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    Default

    I'm so sorry. My prayers will be with you and your family.
    Many trips as a child offsite
    1995 Disney Cruise/Old key west
    New Years 2001 Caribbean Beach Resort
    March 2006 Offsite
    Sept 2010 Coronado Springs Resort
    November 2013 POR
    Sept/oct 2014 cars room at AOA
    Next trip: too long!

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Davenport, FL
    Posts
    3,321
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    Default

    I am so sorry you have to go through this process. It is not easy on anyone involved.

    I felt the same way with my father, My friend wanted to bring him something. He didn't need any material items. I suggested a milkshake from McDonalds. OMG he loved it and wouldn't let go of the cup until it was empty. He had not been eating and he downed that shake. It really brought him a lot of joy with just days until the end. I brought him a few more shakes as well.

    Just being there is a really big way to feel not so helpless. I was also able to say what needed to be said prior to his departure and that gave me comfort.

    I wish you and your family with comfort and prayers during your mom's journey. It is heartbreaking and I don't wish what I went through on anyone. PM me if you need.
    Marci

    Many visits. Live 20 minutes from the parks.
    Work at Universal Studios in Diagon Alley. Ollivanders/ wand magic.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    5 miles from the magic!
    Posts
    6,676
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    Default

    I am so sorry! Lifting you both up in prayer.
    INTERCOT Staff-
    Nightlife, Shops, Water Parks/DCL/runDisney

    DVC owner- BLT, Alauni, SSR, Vero, OKW

    Next:

    Oct- WLV
    Nov- Vero
    Dec- BWV
    Jan- SSR runICOT WEEKEND!
    Feb- Poly
    Mar- Disney Wonder
    Apr- AKL Kidani
    May- Vero
    Sept- BLT

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Windermere, FL
    Posts
    415
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    Default

    So sorry that you are going through this time. I just lost my mom in October due to ovarian cancer and her last 4 days were spent in hospice so I know exactly how you feel. The only advice I can give is to just go with your instincts - I'm sure you are doing better than you think when it comes to her care. All you can do is make her comfortable (my mom seemed to like feeling secure with pillows around her, something soft like sheepskin under her feet..). My sisters and I were her main caregivers at the end, and having family around seemed to bring her a lot of peace and reassurance. Your mom can still hear you and she knows you are there. As hard as it is, you will never regret this time with her. It is a precious, precious time. Hang in there and remember to take care of yourself too...

    Your family is in my prayers,
    steph
    Paging Mr. Morrow... Mr. Tom Morrow. Please contact Mr. Johnson in the control tower to confirm your flight to the moon.


    BC: 9/12, 7/13, 1/14, 5/14, 9/14, 1/15, 9/15, 9/16
    GF: 9/16
    SSR: 9/13
    WL: 5/16
    BW: 9/11
    OKW: 7/10
    AK: 6/09
    BLT: 9/15
    CBR: 8/07
    ASMo 12/14
    Offsite: 8/88

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    MI
    Posts
    296
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    Default

    So sorry for you and your family.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    42,477
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    Default

    So very, very sorry to hear this.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Morristown NJ
    Posts
    7,146
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    Default

    I'm so sorry you're going through this, it is one of the worst feelings in the world. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
    - Lynn -
    INTERCOT Staff: Theme Parks, DVC

  12. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    8,534
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    Default

    I am so sorry. Sending prayers and warm thoughts your way.

    I agree with those who say you're making more difference than you know. Just the sound of your voice will be comforting, and knowing she isn't alone is such a gift to your mother.

    Adding some !
    Heather aka ibelieveindisneymagic
    INTERCOT Staff


    Engaged at the castle!
    My Disney Home is POFQ

  13. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    40,875
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    Default

    I think your greatest gift is to be there for your mother - nothing else matters. I'm sorry you are going through this.
    Linda aka: Faline
    INTERCOT Staff: Vacation Planning,Trip Reports and Disney Camping
    [email protected]

  14. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    McHenry, MS-594 miles from the World
    Posts
    6,950
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    Default

    Bless you, I will be praying for you


    Dec.11-18, 2021 Port Orleans Riverside
    Jan. 25-Feb. 1, 2017, Port Orleans Riverside
    Oct. 29-Nov.4, 2014-Yacht Club
    Dec. 17-23 2011-Wilderness Lodge
    Dec. 20-30, 2008-Pop Century
    Dec. 25,2005-Jan.1, 2006-Coronado Springs
    Jan. 1-7, 2003-All Star Movies

  15. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    831
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    Default

    What a difficult thing for her and your family. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.

    Julie
    º0º emerzmom º0º
    Disney Vacations:
    DL: 81,00,01,02,04,05,06,08
    WDW: 98,99,00,01,02,03(x2),04(x2),05,,07,09,11,12,13(x2 ),14,15,16
    Next trip Nov 2017

  16. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    South Carolina Beaches
    Posts
    675
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    Default

    Praying for you all.
    Rhonda

    Trips to WDW: Priceless

    Impossible is not a word.

  17. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Miami,florida
    Posts
    1,702
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    Default

    You are both in my prayers. as someone mentioned she knows you are there, just keep talking to her. I'm sure she feels comfort from your voice..
    Been there, done that and going back!!! See ya real soon !!!

  18. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 1999
    Location
    va beach, va usa
    Posts
    1,390
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    Default

    Thank you so much for your continued support.

    Mom passed away last week. She is finally at peace.

  19. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Marcellus, NY
    Posts
    8,411
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    Default

    I am so sorry to hear that, I hope you are doing okay, and will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Yes, you are right, she is at peace, and this is the time of year to be thankful for that knowledge. Hoping you & your family can have a blessed holiday!
    Blythe

    Past trips -
    3x offsite,May 06 CBR,Oct 07 I'cot 10,Dec 08 CBR,Jan 09 ASMu,Oct 09 CBR/AKL,Jan 11 AsMu,Aug 11 CBR, Oct 11 AKL,Oct 12 I'cot 15,Aug 13 CBR,Aug '14 mini AKL trip

    Next -
    May '17 DL OR June '17 CBR

  20. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Posts
    3,336
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    Default

    I have been away from these boards for a while with my Mom having a lot of health issues since June.

    I am so sorry to hear this, I hope you and your family are okay. Sending you pixie dust to help you through this difficult time. I know how you must feel as that was how it was with my father in the end. Feel free to inbox me if you ever need to talk. I know talking with friends and family is what helped me through the tough bouts.
    ~*~Tonya~*~

    1st = 1992
    ASMo = Jan. 6-12 '07
    POP = Jan 5-11 '08
    BWV = Jan 6-16 '09
    BCV = Jan 12-22 '10
    BWV = Jan. 21-29 '11
    BWV = Jan. 21-28 '12
    BWV = Dec. 8-15 '12
    BCV/BWV=Jan. 24-Feb. 1 '14
    BWV = Jan. 16-24 '15
    BWV = Jan. 29-Feb. 6 '16
    BWV = Jan. 20-28 '17
    BWV = Jan. 26-Feb. 3 '18

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