Young adults traveling alone??

[minnie04]

I just have a question for parents with young adults. When do you think it is "ok" for them to travel with boyfriend/girlfriend alone??? My DD is turning 21 next month and has done many trips with her boyfriend (of 3 years) family and also her cousins with her boyfriend (they are in their early 20's mostly to Orlando). Her boyfriend is trying to put a trip to Disney for her and him along with his sister and his brother (both in their 20's) I think it's ok for her to go because I trust her and her judgment. DD has never ever given us any reason to distrust her. I feel bad for her and want to be able to go; DH is being the tough one. I know it's his "Little girl” and he can't grasp that she is grown up now. But is it fair???

P.S. He said she could go IF our side goes (meaning her cousin), but they can't go this time. I think he feel's nothing will happen if my Nephew is there. lol He is too funny with this, but I have to respect how he feels and not challange his answer if it's NO !!

[disney obsessed]

It is time for dad to accept that she is an adult. She is almost 21. I do not think he has a vote.

[Belle of the Ball 051411]

It is time for dad to accept that she is an adult. She is almost 21. I do not think he has a vote.

This!

How can Dad really tell her "no"? She's over 18. He won't pay for college or other monetary strings? Your DD is an adult and should make her own choices whether you and your husband agree or not (that's great you trust your daughter and are okay with her going). Dad really needs to get on board.

[SBETigg]

She's an adult. She doesn't need permission. Now, if she needs financing, then you and your husband have some say in it. But otherwise, it's time to back off and let her live her life or risk driving her away from you.

[Dulcee]

21 is well past the age of asking permission in my book.

I did my first vacation with a boyfriend solo when we were 19-20. She's an adult, give advice on being responsible while traveling but otherwise let her go.

And really, what does Dad think having her cousins along will stop? Sounds like she's in a committed, adult relationship. Time to cut the ties.

[Belle of the Ball 051411]

21 is well past the age of asking permission in my book.

I did my first vacation with a boyfriend solo when we were 19-20. She's an adult, give advice on being responsible while traveling but otherwise let her go.

And really, what does Dad think having her cousins along will stop? Sounds like she's in a committed, adult relationship. Time to cut the ties.

This! Granted, I don't know your daughter and her boyfriend, but I think your husband is being naive if he thinks sharing a hotel room is really going to change their "relationship".

[PirateLover]

I agree with everyone else. Dad needs to recognize his little girl has grown up! By the age of 21 I knew so many people who had studied abroad and traveled the world without family. I went on my first trip alone with only my boyfriend(now my DH) to WDW when I was 18. It was my money, my life. I think I was more scared at first to travel without my parents than they were to let me go!

[JROriole8Fan]

My youngest is 21 and I have had to realize that she can vote for president, drink a beer, die for her country and/or be with her boyfriend. You raise them to make good decisions, help them when they have questions, but you have to trust them to make their own decisions. Remember back to when you were 21, it's hard, but you'll have a better relationship if you treat them as adults, which they are.

[Zippy 1]

As hard as it is she will be 21. It is time to let her make her own decisions. She is an adult. I totally understand. I have an 18 year old and am having a hard time letting her make her own decisions. Hope your DD has a great trip

[minnie04]

Thank you all, I respect all your views and will try and make him see the light that she is an adult.. lol He is (not that this matters) a Latin father and they are strict with their little girls no matter what age they are. I don’t think she will just go without his consent out of respect for her father. They are very close. He knows things can and probably already have happened when they all go together. She is a very responsible young lady and I trust her whole heartedly. By the way he is the same when it comes to her going out with girl friends and going away with them too. I think he feels he is protecting her for as a long as he can. BUT it’s time to let her go have fun too. I will keep you all posted. The trip is this weekend so will see...

[Belle of the Ball 051411]

Thank you all, I respect all your views and will try and make him see the light that she is an adult.. lol He is (not that this matters) a Latin father and they are strict with their little girls no matter what age they are. I don’t think she will just go without his consent out of respect for her father. They are very close. He knows things can and probably already have happened when they all go together. She is a very responsible young lady and I trust her whole heartedly. By the way he is the same when it comes to her going out with girl friends and going away with them too. I think he feels he is protecting her for as a long as he can. BUT it’s time to let her go have fun too. I will keep you all posted. The trip is this weekend so will see...

Your husband sounds like a great and caring father. Props to him and you for that matter, for raising what sounds to be terrific kids. You just kindly need to remind your husband that there is a difference between protecting children and sheltering them too much (which only creates a false sense of reality).

Looking forward to your update!

[BrerGnat]

I was MARRIED by 22! LOL! I began dating my husband in college, at 19. We are both Puerto Rican, for what that's worth. We went to WDW when we were 20 over the summer before our senior year. We also did a spring break cruise the following year. We practically lived together in college (although not technically). Neither of our parents really had a clue about most things we did because we used our own money, weren't living at home anymore, and frankly, it wasn't their business if/when we traveled together.

We have been together for 15 years now.

Your husband needs to back off a little bit if he expects to maintain a good relationship with your daughter. She sounds like a great young woman who you are proud of and trust, so let her be the adult she is. Honestly, she doesn't need either of you to give her permission anymore. If you want her to feel free to tell you about these kinds of plans, you keep your opinions to yourself and tell her to have a good time. Otherwise, she will simply stop telling you things.

[diz_girl]

While I am not a parent of young ladies, I was one in the not too distant past.

Ditto on the 'she's 21 and an adult' thing. My parents actually let me go away with my boyfriend at the time (and a bunch of friends) on a ski trip when I was 18 and I don't know how they did it. Maybe your husband is in denial about their relationship, because it probably 'changed' a while ago.

But that's not my point. At 21 years old, she is old enough to be a college graduate, start her career, and start traveling for work. Alone. I went away for work a few times alone while in my early twenties, and in my late twenties, and in my thirties. My MIL frets when my BIL travels to Europe on business and he's 56.

Good luck.

[diz_girl]

While I am not a parent of young ladies, I was one in the not too distant past.

Ditto on the 'she's 21 and an adult' thing. My parents actually let me go away with my boyfriend at the time (and a bunch of friends) on a ski trip when I was 18 and I don't know how they did it. Maybe your husband is in denial about their relationship, because it probably 'changed' a while ago.

But that's not my point. At 21 years old, she is old enough to be a college graduate, start her career, and start traveling for work. Alone. I went away for work a few times alone while in my early twenties, and in my late twenties, and in my thirties. My MIL frets when my BIL travels to Europe on business and he's 56.

Good luck.

[Scar]

I drove by myself from NJ to FL when I was 18. Paid for it myself and had a great time (stayed most of the time at a friend and his mom's house that had moved there a few years earlier.)

Whenever I hear people talk about this issue, it reminds me of a time when my wife told me hysterically that her 18 year old nephew "ran away from home." She calmed down when I said, "Uhhh... when you're 18, it's called moving." By the way, he turned into a fine young man.

[minnie04]

Needless to say she did not go for the weekend, but it turned out SHE didn’t want to go. So I'm glad I didn't go all crazy on him to push the issue. I will have to say he probably would have broken down and said yes from the little pressure I was applying. lol.. I think he knows he has to back off and let her grow up. I just don't think he thought it would get her so fast. She is daddies little girl and he has to let go pretty soon. Thank God the next two are boys. I understand the double standard, but it will be so much easier on ME