I'm in a pickle.

[ValenciaCalling]

Well, here's the thing:

My best friend and I are going to Disney World together, and we have two completely different vacationing styles. I'm a go-with-the-flow, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl, and she's well...not. We were discussing the trip last night, and she has every single moment from the minute we wake up in the morning to the minute we go to sleep planned, and I've tried telling her "Well, let's just see how we feel when we're actually there", but she's really pushing to do things her way. Suddenly I'm not so excited about my trip anymore.I love her, and I love Disney, but it's my trip, too. I've tried being subtle to keep the peace, but should I just be blunt and risk hurting her feelings?

[faline]

Perhaps you can reach a compromise between having some structured time and some unstructured time?

[Mogie]

It could be that your friend is just caught up in a Disney Planning Craze...i get that too. It's almost just as fun researching for and planning a Disney trip as it is getting there and being there. I think she'll probably realize that once youre there you guys wont have nearly the amount of time that you thought you would, and you'll have to wing it.
...If I were you I would still be looking forward to it, youll still be in Disney!

[minnie04]

Well if it were me. I would just tell her "hey I’m probably not going to be up for doing everything at certain times. I understand you want to do a lot, but I’m on VACATION and I don’t want to be rushed from one thing to another. How about we just play it by ear and see what happens. Unless you HAVE to do these things then maybe we will HAVE to split up. “She needs to understand that this is YOUR vacation too. I know how you feel there is always someone that has to plan everything out to a T. And when they do I just laugh because when you get there you are on MICKEY time... Thank god my friends and family (except my brother) are on the same page and ya know what he just leaves before us and we meet up with him there...I am not about to wake up at 7:00am on my vacation… not with three kids (2) 15 & 19 the 7 yr old will wake up…lol. The other two are over the early morning running to the park.

Good Luck!!! I hope you have a great time ..TOGETHER

[DVC2004]

I agree with the above poster, you can say something like "all that sounds great but I like to leave some things open because that's just not my style." Hopefully once you are actually there she'll ease up a little. You have to say something, as you said it's your vacation too. It's no fun to go around doing every single thing the way someone else wants it with no input.

We took my sister and her family once and we told her in the beginning we didn't have to do everything together, she insisted we did . Our kids were different ages and didn't like the same things for example. We tried initially to do everything together (bad idea) but we both soon realized it was better to split up a few times throughout the day. Things were better after that. We still did stuff together but both families were happier doing some certain other things their way...and we ate dinner together too so we always met up for at least that but usually a few other times in the day too.

[MuchLovedMama]

Maybe to compromise you could suggest her planning half the trip and you plan (by not-planning) the other half. Or every other day or something like that.

[honeebee86]

I think that once you get down here, she will realize that having a plan and an idea is great but it is almost impossible and absolutely tiring sticking word for word to a plan at WDW. I agree that you should let her know you love how much time and effort she has gone through to make sure you both have a great trip and don't miss anything but part of having a great trip is doing some relaxing things as well and also taking some days slower than others. Let her know if you do miss anything, you and her can plan a future return trip together. Good Luck!!!!

[B.O.B]

How about letting her plan one day, you plan the next and maybe flip a coin to see who plans an odd day!

[bouncer]

Don't stress about it! YOU are going to Disney!! When you get there and the plans/instructions are being given out if you don't want to go along with it simply say: "I'd rather (fill in the blank). But if you'd like to split up to keep your plans- I understand. I prefer a more low key vacation at Disney."

I too am a PLANNER, however, once we arrive we play it by ear- is it too hot to do ### or is MK too crowded this day let's go to DHS instead or I am too full for the ADR that we have let's cancel it. Even the best of plans get chucked out the window once you are actually living the magic.

[btharvey]

... I would just tell her "hey I’m probably not going to be up for doing everything at certain times. I understand you want to do a lot ....

As long as it doesn't become a confrontation on either side, I think your friend will understand that you are different people with different ways of engaging your time off.

Don't "face her," but do let her know (for sure) that you will not be up to doing everything that she is planning, that some of your time will be "soak up the atmosphere" time. We always overplan, schedule times for meals, rides, etc., and we never seem to have enough "atmosphere" time. Part of it for us is that I've got a 13-year-old DD who wants to do everything. Personally, I'd love to wander around just looking for hidden Mickeys, and DW would love to wander around looking in shops and reading about things and going to all the movies.

Just try to leave her understanding that it isn't a rejection of her -- just that your experience needs are different. You'll do some things (Soarin', I hope), but not others. And it'll probably depend on how "crushed" you feel at the time.

Easy does it, but don't underplay it, either. If she's your best friend, she'll understand completely and go as a single rider sometimes.

You love her, you love Disney, you love atmosphere, and ... well ... you'll find that one ride or experience that you love and need to go on over and over again (Splash Mountain anyone?). Don't stress. And don't be afraid to take time. If she starts pouting during the trip that you're not with her doing everything every minute, don't get upset -- just repeat what you've said and take your atmosphere break or get a turkey leg. She'll learn to accept, too.

[LudwigVonDrake]

Perhaps you can reach a compromise between having some structured time and some unstructured time?

My thought exactly

[texas211]

Depends on how she executes the plan. I plan down to restroom break and other incidentals. However, i recognize at disney, you have to have some flexibility (in case a ride has an unusual low wait time) and therefore have additional backup plans which accommodates my bosses desire to have less planning. Have a plan, but based on what unfolds, be prepared to alter your plans.

So, explain to you friend, hey, we need some flexibility. So you have the plan, alter it on the fly, and make her alter her plans. Stop watch and a tablet notebook helps

[TexansInNY]

Honeebee is dead on - my spouse and I are like that and it took only about two days for us both to figure out that planning is great at a 15,000 ft view (little closer than 30 but down to the minute or even the hour - good luck!

[darthmacho]

You're in a tough spot. I'm the planner, and I know my wife isn't. So I make my plans in secret, steer the family gently towards the plan, and keep it open and flexible with lots of options in case things aren't falling in place and they have other things in mind. or want to add spontaneous input. This doesn't just apply to WDW, but any vacation.

Good luck.

[DisneyKim22]

You're in a tough spot. I'm the planner, and I know my wife isn't. So I make my plans in secret, steer the family gently towards the plan, and keep it open and flexible with lots of options in case things aren't falling in place and they have other things in mind. or want to add spontaneous input. This doesn't just apply to WDW, but any vacation.

Good luck.

That is brilliant!