Need Some Encouragement

[Celakip]

Can somebody help me, please? We are scheduled to leave for another trip to the World next Tuesday. But I really am no longer looking forward to it because of my teenage daughter. We've been fighting a lot lately, and it has just completely zapped my enthusiasm for a week with her, even at Disney World. We've loved our trips in the past, but I'm afraid this one may be different. I really need some words of wisdom.

[buzznwoodysmom]

I have no words of wisdom for you just wishing you a great trip. Maybe once you guys get there things will be different. My kids are still young, but I have two boys that are two years apart and they get along better in WDW than any where else. They fight at home, but never in WDW. Maybe its the magic! Good luck!

[joonyer]

Wow. that's a tough one. I can tell you what I would do with my family, which is tell my 15 year old son that we were going without him unless his attitude improved. And then I'd do it.
But every family is different and we don't know your daughter or what would work best in your case. Taking and applying parenting advice on internet forums form people you don't even know is probably not a real good idea.
Good luck.

[EeyoresBestFriend]

Wow. that's a tough one. I can tell you what I would do with my family, which is tell my 15 year old son that we were going without him unless his attitude improved. And then I'd do it.
But every family is different and we don't know your daughter or what would work best in your case. Taking and applying parenting advice on internet forums form people you don't even know is probably not a real good idea.
Good luck.

I'd have to agree with Joonyer. Although you may not be able to leave her behind, I would go & a good time, regardless of her attitude. If she's like some of the teenagers I know, if they can't get under your skin, it disappoints them. Carry on, have fun yourselves and if she tries to bring you down ~ ignore her or leave her in the room, if possible (without her cell & a non chargable room card )

And if she doesn't appreciate the trips, make alternate arrangements for her when you want to go. It won't be forever ~ just until she grows up a bit more. . . . .

Good Luck!

[Pirate Granny]

As a mom of three, now adult daughters...all I can say is hold on, enjoy all the together moments you can, and known that the attitude will pass...have a wonderful trip.

I'm leaving on the 2nd with my youngest, smile, 29, and her BGF...for a long weekend...can't wait...but I remember many a day when she gave me a run for my sanity...

[Jillirose]

As a mom of three, now adult daughters...all I can say is hold on, enjoy all the together moments you can, and known that the attitude will pass...have a wonderful trip.

I'm leaving on the 2nd with my youngest, smile, 29, and her BGF...for a long weekend...can't wait...but I remember many a day when she gave me a run for my sanity...

[Tink#64]

Sending you some in hopes of a magical trip. But I definitely get where you are coming from. We just cancelled a beach trip & booked WDW as both DS's said they wished we were going back to WDW this year. But oldest DS is having constant drama with his GF which has an incrediable trickle down affect on us all when it gets really yucky. I was just thinking about this tonight & wondering how this trip will be compared to those in years past. Mostly I want him (both DS's) to have a great trip! We have always enjoyed our family vacations so much, I realize this is just a phase, but gosh the teen years are hard on everybody!

Wishes for many magical moments & memories (even if not all are!)

[mgmnut]

I'm pickin up what your throwing down.

I have a teen daughter who is now showing signs of defiance. Little things are treated like it's the end of the world to her. I'm constantly telling her to lose the drama. When things get tense between us I try to use a little humor to bring it down a notch. Sometimes it works, sometimes, well, not so much. I try to choose my battles with her so it is not a constant (verbal) slug fest between us. I try to remember that although to me her issues/complaints seem trivial, to her they are not, in her mind they are very real so I try not downplay them too much. I know all is not lost because we still have our times of closeness when we 1 on 1. During those close times, when she is actually listening to me, is when I slip in the positives. (my evil little plan) This is when I let her know I (and her mother) am always there for her if she ever has a problem she doesn't know how to handle. Telling her I am proud of her accomplishments, or sometimes just letting her talk and letting the conversation be all about her. I'll acknowledge she needs her space, but at the same time remind her she will always be my little girl and I still need to know what she is up to. This does not stop the drama or the arguments, but after the smoke has cleared I think it helps mend things a little quicker, and in the back of her mind she always knows I really do care.

We have 2 older daughters who have left the nest, so we have been here before. I am trying to not make some of the same mistakes, and using what I think has worked in the past.

We are going to Disney World in 51 days. I am so looking forward to it. I actually think there will be less tension, and more "Family" time. I will take advantage of the week together with no outside influences (catty girlfriends, he said she said ****, etc.) and try to build the bond a little stronger. I will have to remember to stay calm and relaxed and just go with the flow. Allow her (and her twin brother) to have some say in what we do, where we go, what we ride.

I am with the other posters though. Although it is nice to get some tips and see how others who are in the same boat might handle things, Your child in unique and you know her best. What works for one person may not work for another.

I hope you have a wonderful trip and it brings your family closer. Maybe you can feel a little better about the upcoming trip if you talk to her and find out how she feels about it. Is she excited? What does she want to do most when you get down there? Maybe go over your trip details and see what she thinks? Make her feel involved and like a young adult who's opinion matters.

Of course this is just my Some may agree with my thinking, others may not.

[Frog]

All great posts so far! We have three daughters with the older two in "the stage"!
I find it helpfull to remember that usually the reason for the outbreaks is the "trying on" so to speak of independence/adult hood... And that is a good thing, Right?! I just wish they would remember that WE all have already been where they are now, and could really make life easier if they would just listen to us!!
Gary Chapman has a great book out on "The Five Love Languages" that I would recomend to anyone raising kids in todays world! May make a good read while on vacation?? Hope yall Have Fun!!!!

[PrettyMinnie]

In my experience, going on vacation, in general, not just Disney world, kind of smooths the tension in a lot of situations. Perhaps our family just gets overly excited about getting out of the house, but when you are away from home, staying busy and enjoying yourselves it is hard to constantly bicker. That being said, we have had our share of teenage meltdowns whilst on vacation. Remember, they pass and you can handle it (someone mentions being left in the room with no phone or chargeable key? Might be a good idea) and when she is older, more mature and out of the moody, defiant teenage years it will be nothing more than a fond memory of growing up. I wouldn't worry too much, you have a wonderful trip planned and I would plan on enjoying every moment. Best of luck to you.

[McLiberal8]

As a 25 year old female, I can still remember my wild teenage years. My biggest frustrations were feeling 'out of control'. I wanted to be an adult, and school, my parents, and society wanted to tell me what to do.
Maybe the trip would be more fun for her if she could plan a day? I know if my teenage self could have been more involved in the vacations I took, I might have had even more fun. Let her pick where to eat, where to go on the last day. She might feel a bit more 'in control' and involved?

[darthmacho]

No wisdom for you, but sympathies and well wishes. I hope the happiest place on earth will bring you two closer together.

[brivers222]

I believe you two will be just fine down there in the magical world of disney... the before, getting down there, getting back and after... yeah i have no suggestions for those.. but the trip will most likely go off great, everyone seems to change moods as soon as the pass the sign.

[ValenciaCalling]

My sister was like that when we were growing up. I was (obviously) a huge disney fan, and she...hated it. And, on top of that, she's 6 years older and constantly teased me about it. Now that we're both in our 20's, we get along better, but MAN did she ruin more than one vacation for us. I honestly don't think we could have done anything to cheer her up. She just wanted to be miserable. I'm sorry, but Disney is not the kind of place to try to act cool all the time. It's Disney. haha

Anyway, I guess you could try to give her some freedom so she doesn't feel like she's being babied. I always got along with my mom and never really rebelled as a teen, so I'm just assuming that's what she would want. I hope she lightens up and you guys have a wonderful trip!