Prayers and Pixie Dust for My Son, Please

[clausjo]

My son, almost 12, was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 4. Over the years, we've had him on different meds, talking to counselors, etc. For a long time, I've always thought that there was something more to his "issues" than just ADHD, but was always told that that's what he had. Unexpected loud noises throw him into a panic, he has anxiety about change, obsesses over things he enjoys (ex - he loves star wars and has practically memorized any encyclopedia on the topic - ships, planets - that he cand find), etc. Well, the other day at school, he had a complete and total breakdown. Something happened in one of his classes and the teacher told him to go to the office. He refused to leave so, naturally, the office sent someone up to talk to him and get him to leave the class. He ran away from this person and continued to run around the school for 45 minutes while the assistant principal, security officer and guidance counselor tried to calm him down. While my husband was on his way to the school (they naturally called us), he ran out onto the 2nd floor balcony and tried to climb over the railing. The school called the police and eventually, they were able to contain him and get him into a safe room so he could start to calm down. While in the room, he was shouting various things at the adults and was in a terrible state of aggitation. My husband wasn't able to calm him down by simply talking to him, but they wouldn't let him into the room with him. They ended up taking him to the hospital under a psychiatric watch. He was able to calm down and was very cooperative with everything the doctors and nurses asked of him (urine sample, blood sample, answering questions, etc.) and was eventually able to go home with us that night.

He has an appointment with a psychiatrist next Friday and I'm hoping we can finally determine what the underlying problem truly is. I've alwys though he was on the autism spectrum, but the docs kept saying things like, some kids just like their routines, and stuff like that.

Whatever it is, we are glad we're on the right path to get him the help he needs, but in all honesty, I'm scared out of my mind.

I know there are many families on Intercot that have special needs children, and I've always loved the kindness and support everyone here provides to people they don't even know. It truly warms my heart. Any advice, helpful opinions, whatever anyone can provide is very much welcome.

[BrerGnat]

Oh boy, that sounds horrible. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

My first thought is he's got a form of undiagnosed Autism as well. Sounds a lot like my son...(who is only 6, diagnosed with High Functioning Autism). All these years of not being properly diagnosed (whatever the situation might end up being) has undoubtedly led to this breaking point for your son. He's probably been trying SO hard to deal with his "issues" and it's probably just become too much. This is very typical in adolescence. I am fearing these years for my sons. For what it's worth, ADHD and Autism spectrum disorders VERY COMMONLY go hand in hand. We are keeping a close eye on our older son, because as he gets older, it is becoming apparent that he has ADD as well as Autism, and we may need to start medications if his focus becomes a problem at school.

I hope they are able to figure out quickly what the real issue is. Fortunately, he did not lash out in a dangerous way towards anyone else, because this would point to a more serious condition.

I'm sending positive thoughts your way. My two sons are special needs, so I can relate somewhat. It's not easy. However, you know your son the best. Most of the time, these diagnoses come from information given by the parents, so be sure you are honest and complete with any questions that are posed to you.

Does your son have an IEP right now for his ADHD? If not, hopefully this whole situation will send you down a path that leads to one, so your son can get the assistance/accommodations that will help him succeed in school.

Please keep us updated and feel free to ask any more questions.

[faline]

What a frightening episode for your son and your family! I certainly hope, though, that it leads to some good things for all of you in that you get some additional information and guidance on how to assist your son to be the very best and happiest person he can be!

[kakn7294]

How frightening! I hope you can find out what's going on with him and get him on the path to proper control.

[deedeebee]

My heart goes out to you,

[TheVBs]

I am so sorry! I can only imagine how frightened you must be feeling. Actually, I can imagine because we went through something similar with our oldest DD. Although her behaviors differed from your son's, we did end up discovering that there was a medical cause behind her extreme behavior. We discovered that she had a very severe case of sleep apnea that was brought on by a throat infection. So, normal child before the infection, different child after, corrected the problem and she was back! Unfortunately it took us several years to figure it out so even after we got the apnea corrected she had to deal with severe anxiety. I realize this isn't the same as what's happening with your son, but the sleep apnea might be worth looking into as a possible piece of the puzzle. I've read that a lot of children who are diagnosed with behavioral issues actually have sleep apnea as well. I hope you get get this resolved and I'm sending lots of positive thoughts to your whole family!

[Disney4us2]

Goodness.... how scary for all of you. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

[Daisy'sMom]

Our prayers are with you and your family.

[tinksmom02]

What a frightening thing! I'm glad, however, that you're all working together to try to get some definitive answers. I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to let you know my thoughts are with your family, and I hope a diagnosis is found soon, so treatment can begin.

[VWL Mom]

I'm sorry you're going through this, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

The only advice i have, dependent on his diagnosis, is to check for special needs advocates in your area. Many will offer free service for the initial visit where you will get great advice on dealing with the school, getting what your son needs, creating an IEP, etc.

Stay strong, remember you know you son's needs better then others. If you feel something is missing, don't quit until your satisfied. You are his voice in the education system.

[Dsnygirl]

Oh my goodness, how scary that must have been!! I can't even imagine -- sending pixie dust and prayers your family's way that the dr's will be able to work with your son and figure out what is going on.

I agree with the other posters re: the possibility of an Autism diagnosis... I don't personally have any experience with it, but we have friends whose children have been diagnosed at differing ages, and some of your son's behaviors remind me of what they have experienced, although the particular situation I'm thinking of involved a 12yr old girl. As the hormones kick in, SO much can get out of whack, and I'm sure your son is feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment, as are you and your husband.

I'm sure you will get a LOT of great information and support here, we have quite a few folks whose children have different forms of Autism, and I know you will get some great advice.

Keep the faith -- you and your husband know your son best, and I'm sure with your guidance, the dr's will figure out what's going on and be able to help your son. Good luck, and be sure to let us know how he (and you!) are doing!

[Mickey'sGirl]

Hugs for you Jodi as you figure this out! Hugs for your son and your family too!

Both of my boys are high functioning Autistics, and the eldest will be 13 tomorrow. We have found elevated axiety and quick anger bursts and oversensitivity to simple requests or things he has to do. I have been told by his Developmental Psychiatrist that puberty is an especially difficult time for kids on the Spectrum and to be prepared for over-reactions when he feels persecuted or anxious. Your dear son's situation sounds very much like a bad decision that got spun completely out of control due to poor understanding on the part of the school and extreme stress for your son. I hope that you can find out how to help him best, and find a way to get the school to learn techniques to guide your son to better choices and ways to calm himself. My heart breaks for him, as I can only imagine how he felt.

We are starting to see examples of the "Puberty impact". I actually got a phone call from my DS's Principal today to discuss an incident where my quiet and laid back son threatened another boy and then grabbed him and threw him to the ground. My son was sure the other boy made a comment about him having "serious issues" and my son felt he was being made fun of because of his Autism. His Autism has never been an issue. We have never hidden it from our son or anyone else, and we have made it clear to everyone that we embrace everything that makes him who he is, and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, miscommunication, over-sensitivy and axiety related to having unstructured time in the school gym resulted in a very agressive and very unacceptable lashing out. This situation is futher complicated because our son is 6'2" and is head and shoulders above the other children. He is so much bigger than his peers and he doesn't realize how imposing he is. Thankfully nobody was hurt, and our Principal has a very good understanding of Autism, and of our normally placid and agreeable son. The teacher on duty also understood his needs, and was able to diffuse the situation before someone was hurt. He hasn't been excused from discipline for his actions, but because the school has a very good understanding of even the potential needs of my son, they were able to act in a manner that helped him rather than amplify the situation (which is what I feel happened with your son).

Don't be scared of a diagnosis. It's the piece he really really really needs to put things in place at school. Once you have a diagnosis, whether it's on the Spectrum, or if it is another behavioural need, you will be able to learn methods and develop strategies to help him find comfort in his world, and become the everything he has the potential to be.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

I don't have any advice; I just wanted to say that I hope your son gets the help and understanding he needs so that you can help him deal with this. I know it must be so difficult. Pixie dust coming your way.

[Dulcee]

That sounds very frightening, good luck on your trek to a diagnosis.

Whatever you do, stick to your guns. If you think there is more going on with you son the ADHD or just being thrown off his routine don't let a doctor tell you otherwise. A mother's intuition can go a long way in seeing things that drs may not see.

Best of luck

[Melanie]

I have no words of wisdom or advice, but I did want to say how scary that must have been for you all. Hope there is a very quick diagnosis and your son is on the road to a fulfilled, happy life!

[AvaNellMouse]

no advice

just hugs & hope for better days ahead

[princessgirls]

Praying for your family. I hope that you are able to get to the bottom of things, for your son.

What a scary thing to have gone through. I'm truly sorry for your pain.

Julie