Angry with attendance policies

[Jen C.]

I get that you are not wanting to lie, yet being forced to lie.

If you choose to go forth with the "untruth", don't say sick, say...headlice!

No Dr.'s note required.

[Puppy Mom]

Please do not misunderstand me.

No, I am NOT saying you shouldn't ever take a vacation with your family or that kids should never be pulled out of school for a family reason.

What I AM saying is that it is unrealistic and wrong to expect that the rest of the world adjust to YOUR decision. Your job circumstances are not the problem of the school system.

I would say the same to a teacher. I think they should make every effort to get their ELECTIVE personal stuff done in the many weeks when school is not in session.

My problem is not with parents making choices about what is right for their family. It is in expecting the the teacher and the school should do extra work or bend the rules because of those choices.

[Puppy Mom]

By the way..... teaching the kid that it is acceptable to LIE rather than accept the consequiences of YOUR choice..... nice, very nice.

[bleukarma]

Do you have to give an excuse when you tell the school that your child will be out for a week? When I was in high school I missed a week of school because I had to travel from FL to WV for a funeral and I believe we just told the school that I would be out. I made up my work when I got back, and I'm sure you will help your kids get back on track when you get home. I don't see why the "why" the kid is out of school is relevent. I do the same thing when I call in sick to my job....which I hardly ever do. I only offer an explaination when it's asked, and I frankly find it irritating to have to explain why I'm using my personal day. I have a track record that should show that I don't call in for anything and I am given personal days to use. I find the "why" I'm missing a day of work to just be plain nosey. If your child has a good track record of being in class then I would just tell the teacher that you have to pull them out for a week and could they please give them what they might miss.

I have had more then one family member leave for work and never come home. Take your family on your vacation and please don't feel bad about it. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Enjoy the time you spend with them. Things will work out with the school, it's your time together that is important. If something bad happens, God forbid, you want your family to look back and say "I'm glad we took that vacation together" instead of "we should've went on that vacation."

[mdhiggin]

post more carefully you would have seen that lying was a recommendation from one of the school employees.

I didn't expect to change your opinion and you definitely won't change mine so we will agree to disagree I guess.

[mdhiggin]

I agree totally with your post on the topic. Responsible parents shouldn't have to explain why their kids will be out.

I also agree with your thoughts on taking time as a family when you can. I have watched many military families that have been destroyed by the loss of a mother or father. The time we have together is limited as it is and we should enjoy every minute we get together.

Watching these families has taught me that. Seeing them have to be apart for 18 straight months is also a very sad thing to watch.

I guess defending our freedoms has a price but it is a very high one on a personal level.

Those families deserve every second they get to be together. They shouldn't have to ask anyone to spend that time together. Even the all powerful school system.

[Aggie97]

All that said I do think as a parent it is your right to decide if and when you take your kids out of school for a family vacation. However, like someone else posted it is also your reponsibility to deal with whatever consequences come with that. While I would never not let a student make up missed tests, I do think the school as well as the teachers have every right to tell you how missed work will be made up and if missed tests will be allowed to be made up. It's not like they are telling you that your child can not miss school for a family vacation, they are simply letting you know what to expect should you take them out. Anyway that's just my !

I think this is a very reasonable way of looking at it: it is your right to choose when to take a vacation, but you do have to be prepared to accept the consequences of the decision.

It is really unfortunate that your school district has set such a strict attendance policy instead of dealing directly with the individuals who abuse the system. Even though someone in the school office suggested lying about the trip, your initial instinct is correct: it just is not the right thing to do, and it would set such a bad precedent for your child.

Maybe there is a chance the teacher will work with you anyway if you speak with him/her directly?

(For the record, I am not unsympathetic to challenging work schedules. I grew up an "Air Force brat," and my father is en route to Baghdad as I type this. My parents pulled us out of school for one family vacation, in 1986. )

Whatever happens, I hope things work out and that your family has a great vacation.

[vizsla]

We always pulled our DD out of school every year for a two week trip to WDW. They never gave us a problem in the past but this year they changed their policy and are giving us a hard time. We don't care if they like it or not, but we are still taking are DD out of school. We explained to them that she does extremely well in school with her grades and really doesn't miss any other time during the year unless she is sick. And the other issue is that DW's and my employeer do not let us take vacations from June through August so when are we supposed to have some family time.

[Tinkerfreak]

OF COURSE parents are in charge of their own children, but personal decisions have consequences. If these parents took their vacations during the MANY weeks that school is not in session, there would be no school problem.

If they cannot or CHOSE not to , then it is the family/student who needs to be willing to bear the consequences of missed school.

If you believe that your child does not need the instruction that will be given that whole week, then fine. But don't complain if your kid is behind when you return. Whose choice was that? Not the schools.

I have taken my kids out 6 years in a row and have never expected the teacher to do extra work or blamed any teacher for work to be made up. My kids know that they are the ones responsible for making up the work and they do. As far as taking vacations during summer when it is 95 with 100% humidity some people for health reasons just can't do that. We cannot take vacations during school vacations because of my husbands job. Most of our customers live out of our state and they all want to meet with him when their kids are out of school.
I DO NOT take my childrens educations lightly and we knew that if a year came that either one of them had a hard time catching up or it impacted their grades at all we would not plan another trip. This is the last year we will do it because my oldest is going into hight school next year.

[Georgesgirl1]

mdhiggin- I hope I am simply misreading one of your previous posts, but it seems like you said that it is okay for you to pull your kids out for vacation without giving an explanation, but you want the teachers to give an explanation for the times they miss since your child may be missing some instruction. When I miss, whether for sick days, personal days, training, or my upcoming maternity leave, I leave detailed plans for what should be done so that those days do not become simply "play days" or "review days." I always make sure new info is covered and the subs at my school are great and actually teach the kids stuff. I never want my personal issues to keep the kids from learning on the days I miss. Some teachers also have reasons they cannot travel on their breaks just like you do. DH and I travel with our family to WDW every other year and between all the schedules in our family and with the travel schedules of my dad and brother's jobs, sometimes during the school year is the only time we can make it work.

Like I said, I hope I simply misread the post. I do think that students and teachers alike should have the opportunity to miss days provided for the students are not missing many other days during the year and provided that teachers have personal days accrued that they can use.

I don't think you should have to lie about it though. When I taught in public school ( I teach in private now), the policy was 5 unexcused absences or tardies and the teacher had to write a note home, 10-the principal wrote a note, 15 the social worker became involved, and 20- you could be taken to court. When I had a little girl miss a week for her trip to WDW I just let her mom know that it didn't bother me, but to know I would have to send a note home. I let her make up all her work that she missed when she came back. She was fine with this and only missed 2 other days in the year due to an illness so they were excused and it never went any farther.

I do understand why they do this b/c when I student taught there were two kids at the school who each missed 30 days!! I have also known kids who would miss school everytime their parents had a weekday off (i.e. every 2nd Tuesday). Yes, we hope that all parents would be responsible and think through their decisions to pull their kids out of school like it sounds like you have, but unfortunately a lot of parents don't. That is why the counties and schools come up with policies like this. It's unfortunate how a few irresponsible people ruin it for the rest of us!

[wjrhw]

Please do not misunderstand me.

No, I am NOT saying you shouldn't ever take a vacation with your family or that kids should never be pulled out of school for a family reason.

What I AM saying is that it is unrealistic and wrong to expect that the rest of the world adjust to YOUR decision. Your job circumstances are not the problem of the school system.

I would say the same to a teacher. I think they should make every effort to get their ELECTIVE personal stuff done in the many weeks when school is not in session.

My problem is not with parents making choices about what is right for their family. It is in expecting the the teacher and the school should do extra work or bend the rules because of those choices.

If I were a teacher, I would have to think that doing extra work for students who miss school is part of my job. Not extra. I know teachers are all union members now, but remember your not dealing with parts in a factory, you are dealing with infinite situations and extra work is not always extra. It should be expected.

[mdhiggin]

Yes I think you misread the point of that post. I don't think the teachers should have to explain why they are off on personal days but my point was for some of the posters to look at it the other way.

I think some of the posters who are teachers and are strongly against this are looking at this from only a kids perspective. Our school system is now asking me to explain my entire schedule when I am going to be off and explain why I need to take my children out during this time. I don't OWE them that just like you don't owe your students an explanation when you need to be off.

I know a lot about how teachers operate as I have watched my Mom. I know that teachers in our system have lesson plans for at least a month in advance so giving a parent a loose guideline of what will be covered during the 5-10 days the kids will be out is no major task.

That is all I was saying. I want to thank everyone who posted on this thread. Even the people who disagree with me offer a different perspective for me to look at. I am glad to see that most people understand that not everything can be done on the school system's calendar.

I agree with what you said that it is unfortunate that a few bad apples spoil the bunch where this rule is concerned.

I also agree with what tink said and this will be the last year we can make this trip as our son starts high school next year also.

[SteveL]

If I were a teacher, I would have to think that doing extra work for students who miss school is part of my job. Not extra.

WHY???
Teachers have enough to do as it is without being expected to do more to accomodate someone's vacation.

[elmjimmlm]

I may be way off here but I do believe that I have read that there is an excuse that can be given for a trip to Disney as an educational experience...If you think about it there is so much that your kids learn on a trip...Look at Epcot, it has more hands on than any other place that I know of...Just something to consider...

[TheRustyScupper]

My wife posted this originally but after reading these posts I realize that a lot of people agree with us.

Bravo !

[TheRustyScupper]

WHY???
Teachers have enough to do as it is without being expected to do more to accomodate someone's vacation.

1) I have never asked for extra teacher work.
2) Just give me the assignments, and we will followup.
3) I won't dicsuss my thoughts on teachers' work load.

[Puppy Mom]

If I were a teacher, I would have to think that doing extra work for students who miss school is part of my job. Not extra. I know teachers are all union members now, but remember your not dealing with parts in a factory, you are dealing with infinite situations and extra work is not always extra. It should be expected.

If you were a teacher you would know that teachers/school systems already DO a great deal of things for students, students who are sick and students that have bad home lives.

Let me explain my attitude with a few examples of some of the things that teachers I personally know have had to do include:

-Buying school supplies from their own money because the parents couldn't or wouldn't.

-Picking a kid up at home and taking him to catch the bus on a Saturday for a band competition because his parents were too hung over from the night before and swore at him when he tried to get them up to drive him.

-Dealing with kids that come to school drunk or high, in one case because the sophomore had a couple beers with dear old Dad at the breakfast table.

-Calling a parent to inform them that their child is not in school only to be told the kid was home sick......all the while looking out the window at the 13 year old standing in a parking lot across the street smoking with his buddies.

- Having to take a high school kid aside after school and explain that they needed to take a bath or shower and wash their hair because they were sent to school with body odor and dirty clothes. Having to call a second grader's parents to tell them the same thing and being told to mind their own business.

-Being called into the principal's office and almost fired when parents complained that you slammed their kid into a locker. Having to explain that what you did was pin the kids hand against the locker so you could get the KNIFE out of it that he had pulled on you when you told him to get his hand off his girlfriends behind in the hallway. (This one happened to my father).

-Spending hours on the telephone, on their own time, trying to talk to parents of kids that are failing. Having the parents curse at them and tell the teacher that if their kid is failing it is the teacher's fault and not to bother them.

From reading this forum it is pretty obvious that this is a very dedicated group of parents who would never dream of letting their kids be in these situations. Your kids are very lucky.

The thing is that all of these things happened in nice small towns in "good" school districts..... places where people would swear that these things never happen. Don't be so sure you KNOW what your kids teacher is doing with their time.

Perhaps my knowledge of these " infinite situations and extra work" that you refer to is why I give a teacher a pass if they don't have the time to drop everything and make a pretty little special packet for your cherub to take on their Disney vacation so they don't have a dreaded zero for a week. Most of these teachers have their own kids they want to spend their time with too, you know.

Some kids would pray that little zero is all they had to deal with....... and so does their teacher.

I apologize if I seem to be taking a snarky attitude. I just seriously believe that some people have no CLUE what teacher's deal with and some people that I love very much are teachers.

[pink]

I was taken out of school for one week every October and it never affected my grades or my ability to keep up with the homework. I guess I had some pretty good teachers and got lucky. Everytime I went away they just told us to have a great time.

[Dyanna]

I am from LI NY & the school policy here in our district is that no family vacation is an acceptable excuse for absence. Guess my daugher will be thrown out of school if we decide to take her to WDW. Oh well. Family time is very important to us since my husband does not get home from work each evening until 8pm or later. Every minute my dd spends with her father is priceless as she is now only 21 months old.

[disneylovinmom]

You know, going to the funeral of a 15 year old family member put everything in perspective for me. If I need to take MY child out of school for a few days so we can go on a family trip, then by golly I will. If the school does not like it, too bad. We as her parents will take responsibility for anything that she misses. I painfully realize that we may not aways have that opportunity to be together as a family. Due to my and my husbands job, we have to go when our employers say we can. And as I recall, our employers are how we earn our money, not the school. That's all I've got to say about that.