Ugggh!! In-Laws bought Time Share but not DVC!

[jakeybake]

I'm far from spoiled. As I said earlier I appreciate everything they do for us as a family. My issue is that they aren't knowledeable on all things Disney. They decided to to this on their own and yes it is their money and they can do what they want with it. My gripe is that I think I could of helped them make a more educated decision.

And to the poster who said I should just pay for my own vacation, I do. Every year I take my family on vacation. The yearly WDW trip is from my in-laws to my children and my wife and I are along for the ride.

The direct quote from my mother in law when she told my wife of the purchase was, "Maybe now Jay won't fight us tooth and nail about spending money each year on a Disney Vacation".

Further proof that I'm not spoiled.

Jay

[MidnTPK]

I hate to say it, but you seem a little spoiled to me. I wish my in-laws would take me on ANY vacation. I've always had to pay for my own. I don't think I would complain, no matter where we were going, if I didn't have to pay.

For some folks, it's not about the money or who pays......its about the time.

I can only take so much time off work. Doing something I don't want to do means I can't do something else I really DO want to do. A WDW trip to me means staying on property, or not going. Staying off-site is not what I want to do.

Even if you have all the money in the world, you can't buy more time. So the spoiled comment is a bit out-of-line.

[Disney Doll]

I hate to say it, but you seem a little spoiled to me. I wish my in-laws would take me on ANY vacation. I've always had to pay for my own. I don't think I would complain, no matter where we were going, if I didn't have to pay.

Probably because you've never vacationed with the inlaws. It's not as great as it seems although maybe if my MIL was paying I could tolerate her better.

I think MidnTPK hit the nail on the head. Taking time away from work is very hard for a lot of people so vacation time is really a precious commodity. I too would be a little irritated about staying off-site. No matter how nice it is, it's not Disney and I come to WDW to be immersed in Disney magic. Yes it is very, very nice to be offered a free stay in an Orlando resort, BUT if that's not how you like to spend your vacation it's kind of unfortunate that someone else has made the decision and now will expect you to go along. Of course it is even more difficult since this is family. It's a very nice gift and it would be very hard to just pay for your own vacation or do your own thing without hurting feelings. I like the idea of a split stay. A few days with the inlaws at their timeshare may be just enough togetherness although it will have to be done very tactfully if you are to avoid looking ungrateful. If it were me I'd be a little irritated, but I'd probably just go along and try to make the best of it for kids. I'd spend as much time as possible at the parks so hopefully I'd barely notice the time I spent sleeping at a non-Disney resort.

[diz_girl]

I also agree that the spoiled comment is a bit out of line.

Yes, I agree that the in-laws are being very generous, but with that generosity comes a sense of obligation on your part, which I gather is why you may have a problem with them spending so much $ on the annual WDW vacation. When offering to take someone on vacation, the offeror should still have some consideration for the preferences of whom they're taking on vacation. And in buying the timeshare, your in-laws have taken away you're (and also their daughter's) vacation choices. No EMH, no dining plan (including free dining in September), no DME, etc. There's a difference between generosity and consideration. They are being generous, but maybe not as considerate as they might think.

The split stay does seem like a good idea. It's their timeshare, so you'll feel like a guest in their home, rather than being able to sit back and relax like you would in your own space. However, if you try that, you may get the "we bought the timeshare so you could enjoy it" spiel. But you never asked them to buy it, and their actions have now obligated you to do something that you may not have wanted to do. It may be tough to tell them that, and maybe your wife already has, but it might be something that they need to hear. Tactfully, of course.

As for other comments about not caring about where you're staying or staying with the in-laws, as long as you're at WDW. You couldn't pay me enough money to get me to go on vacation with my MIL, even if it was to WDW. My SIL went on a cruise with her and SIL needed a haircut so she got one at the salon on board, called Ship-to-Shore. Well, the statement was slipped under the door and MIL saw it and thought that SIL was buying things on the ship and sending them to her friends back home. MIL gave SIL the cold shoulder for three days, mumbling "sending things from ship to shore" until my SIL finally figured out why she was getting the silent treatment. She's a wackaloon. Try going on vacation with that.

She's also a princess who assumes that because she's being 'generous' that you should show sufficient gratitude and bite your tongue. I don't think so. You can take the girl out of Philly, but you can't take the Philly out of the girl.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Von-Drake]

I can understand the feeling of obligation if they have always been so generous in the past, but plan a vacation down there and make reservations for an on-site hotel and tell them right before you go. Then let them know your family just prefers staying on site with all the benefits, tell them you can still meet them in the parks for meals, rides, etc... It is their timeshare, their money, who is anyone else who thinks they should tell them where to buy one and where to spend it. Seems like you got t o experience a lot of generosity from them in the past, be thankful for it, let them do what they want with their money and plan YOUR Disney vacations, not their Florida vacation.

[momof3+twins]

Find reasons that you can't go with them at the times they pick. Or just be honest. I know that they think the got this great thing. BUT, they should have asked you first if they really wanted you to stay with them.
I too would not want to stay offsite.
Good Luck!!

[MidnTPK]

Probably because you've never vacationed with the inlaws.

Exactly....

They are being generous, but maybe not as considerate as they might think.

Exactly again...the perfect way of putting it.

[Gottaluvgoof]

For some folks, it's not about the money or who pays......its about the time.

I can only take so much time off work. Doing something I don't want to do means I can't do something else I really DO want to do. A WDW trip to me means staying on property, or not going. Staying off-site is not what I want to do.

Even if you have all the money in the world, you can't buy more time. So the spoiled comment is a bit out-of-line.

He says he takes his family on other vacations, so it doesn't seem to me the problem is time. I just think it is their money. They should do with it as they please. So, take a vacation with the in laws and then pay for your own vacation on Disney property. I guarantee you, someone who has NEVER been to Disney, because they could not afford it, would totally agree with the spoiled comment. I'm sorry, just the way I see it. Sometimes it seems on Intercot, if you don't agree with everyone, you're bad. I'm just telling it like I see it. Sorry.

[jakeybake]

Your free to disagree with me, no argument from me there at all. Disagreement and varying opinions are what make these boards great.

I just think you cross the line when you call someone you don't know "spoiled". I'm far from spoiled. I'm a self made man with a beautiful family (DW, DS 10, DD 6) who has everything I have from hard work. No college education or silver spoon here. Had to work like a dog for everything I have. I'm not comfortable with my in-laws purchasing vacations or time shares for my family but they do it because they love my kids and have the finances to do so.

For every trip I have reluctuntly accepted I have shot down 10, believe me.

Keep the opposing comments coming, just keep the insulting comments out.

Jay

[Catzle]

Don't forget you can always trade a week of their time to one on Disney property through Interval International. It's a good way to have a time share and be able to visit all kinds of places everywhere not just be locked into one place.
So you could stay a week there and than one on Disney property through a trade. Just give yourself enough time, usually 6 months, to get things set up and to be able to make a trade. We did it last year with my sister in laws timeshare and stayed at the WL, it was great and a great way try different resorts.

[NJGIRL]

We own a timeshare that is 3 miles from the Disney gate and love it. It's has much much more room than a Disney hotel and is very nice. Try it out, you will probably be pleasantly surprised.

I have stayed onsite also and believe me staying at a Disney property does not make our vacations any better. It's just something we do from time to time to make a different vacation. Staying off site will not ruin your vacation time just like getting a bad meal at a Disney restaurant shouldn't ruin it. Only you and your family set the tone for your vacations.

[Mousemates]

She's a wackaloon.

I have many family members that I now have a new describer word for...

As for people thinking someone is spoiled just because they aren't jumping for joy over a gift from an inlaw...well, be careful about calling folks spoiled, because truth be told most of us probably have more than a few unappreciated gifts from the in-laws hidden away in our attics and hall closets.

As for me, I understand where the thread's author is coming from because I'm more in the "on-property or bust" group. The complete magic immersion and convenience of being "in the World" are what makes a Disney vacation a disney vacation to me....take that away and I'd rather be at the beach or Yellowstone.

I have no real desire at all for an Orlando vacation...nothing against Orlando, we enjoy some other things while we're there...but Disney is THE reason we do central Florida.

I also totally get the time thing...my vacation time is like gold to me (I've turned down raises in the past in exchange for an extra week of vacation). Money can be replaced with a bit of effort, time when its gone is forever lost.

[MidnTPK]

I guarantee you, someone who has NEVER been to Disney, because they could not afford it, would totally agree with the spoiled comment.

This reminds me of a Simpsons episode when Mayor Quimby calls the French 'frogs'....his reply is "I stand by my racial slur"

Anyway...just because he goes on other vacations doesn't mean that he wants to spend his time at WDW in an off-site timeshare.

And yes, the in-laws can do with their money what they please. But the MIL explicitly said this purchase was to bring HIS family to for vacations. As a previous poster said:

They are being generous, but maybe not as considerate as they might think.

[Aurora]

Think of it this way -- if you already take your family on vacations, and your in-laws are doing this for your kids, then take it as a present to your kids, not to you. A gift is a gift.

I agree with the other posters -- use some of the time at the Marriott, and pay for the rest of the trip onsite. Maybe they bought at the Marriott knowing you could use it in Orlando as well as other places (and they can too). So they probably thought it was a great plan that would make everyone happy.

[Gottaluvgoof]

Your free to disagree with me, no argument from me there at all. Disagreement and varying opinions are what make these boards great.

I just think you cross the line when you call someone you don't know "spoiled". I'm far from spoiled. I'm a self made man with a beautiful family (DW, DS 10, DD 6) who has everything I have from hard work. No college education or silver spoon here. Had to work like a dog for everything I have. I'm not comfortable with my in-laws purchasing vacations or time shares for my family but they do it because they love my kids and have the finances to do so.

For every trip I have reluctuntly accepted I have shot down 10, believe me.

Keep the opposing comments coming, just keep the insulting comments out.

Jay

First of all, I didn't say, you ARE spoiled, I actually used the word "Seem." There is a difference. Anyway, my point was, maybe you shouldn't complain about a gift. My in laws actually were divorced. My FIL is not much of a father to my husband. My MIL at the young age of 69, actually passed away last September, while I, and my children were at Disney World. Anyway, one of her dying wishes was for DH and I to take a trip to Hawaii with whatever money we received from her estate. Hawaii isn't my choice of vacations honestly, but I will go because that is what she wished. So, basically, you should be glad you have such generous in laws, and they are there to spoil your children however they wish. You and your family are very lucky to have them.

[MidnTPK]

A gift is a gift.

Anyway, my point was, maybe you shouldn't complain about a gift.

Well, this isn't exactly a gift...it's a something else with strings attached. They didn't give the timeshare to the poster. He's not free to do with it whatever he pleases (as he would be with a gift).

[MickeyMousse]

Jakeybake, I just give you alot of credit. I couldn't vacation with my in-laws if my life depended on it!

[Gottaluvgoof]

Well, this isn't exactly a gift...it's a something else with strings attached. They didn't give the timeshare to the poster. He's not free to do with it whatever he pleases (as he would be with a gift).

OH BROTHER!!!! All I can tell you is, if someone bought a time share, and offered it to me and my family for a week, I would consider it a gift. OH i forgot, the strings attached, were I had to go to Disney World....darn the luck! And heaven forbid they pay for that too!

[MidnTPK]

OH BROTHER!!!! All I can tell you is, if someone bought a time share, and offered it to me and my family for a week, I would consider it a gift. OH i forgot, the strings attached, were I had to go to Disney World....darn the luck! And heaven forbid they pay for that too!

I guess this gets us back to the time versus money debate. And how important some of us consider staying on-site is.

I don't want to go somewhere I don't want to go, just because it's 'free'. You seem to not be able to get beyond the 'money' aspect of this...which is understandable, but many people think differently.

I'm perfectly willing to pay for things I want to do and I consider valuable. I'm not willing to spend my time on things I don't want to do, even if it has no monetary cost for me...it has other costs which I can't get back...i.e. time.

[crazeedizneefinatic]

I can see both sides of the coin really. When we do Disney we like to do it our way but we also are responsible with the charges. You mentioned that you do take a family vacation that you are able to plan and do what you want. Just try and consider this "extra" vacation as a bonus. You did mention that it was mainly for the kids and you and your wife were along for the ride. Do it for the kids, hopefully they won't catch a negative vibe from anyone about the genorosity of their grandparents. It truly is a blessed gift for them to spend time with their grandchildren and to boot pay for everyone involved.

I agree with another poster who said they could not spend a vacation with their inlaws. I agree! My inlaws never even come around, it breaks my heart. My son always asks about them. He sees them maybe at Christmas. Very sad part is that they live less than a mile from us. It has always been one sided. We really wanted our son to have a relationship with my husbands parent and tried the first few years until we got the message. Now on the other hand my parents make up for whatever he lacks on his dad's side. Try to look at this not as a decision made for you. Think of it as quality time spent for your kids sake. That is worth more than having control over where you vacation. Some kids have never even stepped inside WDW. Count your blessings that you and your inlaws are able to give that to them.

By the way are they adopting?? LOL