Need Help Convincing Cousin's Husband to Stay On Property

[Fastpasssteve]

I agree with Jan up above.

Arguments about EMHs, transportation ease, and general atmosphere may be lost on him. If he's someone who always has to forge his own path, that is your cross to bear. Having been to Europe a few times, I understand not wanting to stay at 'touristy' places and to chart my own course, often finding better food and lodging than if you took the guided tour.

Disney is not like that. I love staying on-property. It is a great value for your money.

What is unclear is why he so dislikes the idea of being with the family. Are they not good enough for him? Does he not like them?

The whole point of this family gathering is not that it is at Disney, but that the entire family is going on an adventure ALL TOGETHER. I think you and the kids should stay with the rest of the family and he can stay wherever he wants. You may even let him know where you're meeting for meals...if he's lucky. If he is so adament in being apart from the rest of the family, perhaps you should give him his wish. It would also make for a better trip for you.

Clearly this is putting a lot of pressure on you from the rest of the family. What is unclear is why your husband (supposedly the person who loves and cherishes you the most) would be so hard-headed where his wife is concerned.

I may be reaching, but it seems as if this 'wiser than the rest' attitude may be pervasive and you have to deal with this in many aspects of your life together. These are always the people who are so surprised when the wife files for divorce two seconds after the last kid leaves for college.

Good luck with whats-his-name.

[wdwfansince75]

If you push too hard, or use the kids, to make them change their plans, there is always the danger of "I told you so" events....and some people have a fear of success...They always second guess themselves....like those who, when confronted by the glass is half full argument counter by pointing out that if the glass was only slightly larger, it would have been less than half full.

There is another approach, which we tried to use on dear friends who would not spend "the extra money to stay on site." We acknowledged that there was a chance that they were right, so we and they worked up our individual budgets for the stay...and sat down and compared them...Some of their savings were real...like preparing some meals in their rooms..but we could have done the same thing at Disney resorts. Some cost were overlooked by them...they forgot to include room tax, and taxes on tickets...they used advertised prices, not actual costs. And some potential costs were not included...One afternoon, they had to go back to their resort to change clothes...had to take an unbudgeted taxi...and since we went in summer, they forgot that their daughter could not use our resort swimming pool...although we did sneak her in one afternoon.

We also provided them an unbudgeted savings...we loaned them our car for off site shopping. Shortly after the trip, they did say that if they ever went again, they would stay on site.

If they insist on doing it their way, let them make their plans...and make sure that as soon as deals are advertised for that time period, you give them an opportunity to change their plans. O, and if they do stay off site, make sure the rest of your group takes every opportunity to stress how much fun you are having.

[DizneyRox]

I now let poeple make their own mistake. As others said, you don't want to give them/him the opportunity for an "I told you so" moment.

It's really tough trying to convince people of intangibles. When they need to leave the park 3 hours before you do, or can't get to the park at opening becuase of the traffic jam in the parking lot, or whatever else they will find out the hardway is a real tangible perk of staying on site, they will learn and maybe come around.

Since they are in the minority though, I wouldn't plan too much around their schedule. With them staying off-site their time on property will be somewhat limiting...

[Aurora]

I agree with the above posts about doing a real cost comparison. It sounds like with your cousin's husband it's mostly about the money, and it's possible that even factoring in all the other costs like a rental car, parking, etc., it still may be cheaper for them to stay off-site (since they would have to get a suite or two rooms to stay on-site).

But there may be other factors that make it easier for him to say no to on-site. For example:

Are all of the rest of your family staying at the same Disney resort, or are you spread out? If spread out, he might not see the point in staying on-site if you're not even going to be at the same resort.

Is having a car (and the ability to "get away" from the rest of the family) really important to him?

Does the family plan to use the EMH benefit?

By the way, in regard to other posts, I don't think wanting to stay off-site and spend less money automatically makes him a bad guy. As we all know, it costs a lot to take four kids to Disney World. Plus he's going with his wife's cousin's family, not even his in-laws. He could be cut a break.

[nfrustaci]

i have done both.... a rental car is expensive.... especially for a large family... also 14 to park.... and don't forget gas. here in the city it is pennies shy of 4 bucks a gallon. they are expecting it to hit 5 before the summer. if memory serves me correctly you have to fill the car before you drop it off or you pay alot more money. we stay value and i love it. usually pop century. i think the dining plan is given at that time as well. it would be fast service if staying in a value plus u get the refillable drink mug. but you could upgrade to the 1 quick service and 1 sit down no mug on this plan. so the cost of food is taken care of. if you use a discount on the room rate then u don't get the meal plan. something to consider. we usually take the meal plan so we don't have to worry about how much money we will need at the park. nice to have the vacation already paid for and just have enough cash on hand for little things. i do believe that if you work up the cost for both u will find that staying on site at a value will be cost effective. good luck.

[KAT1811]

Thank you all for the fabulous points supporting an onsite stay. Many of which I have already pointed out but there are a few that I did not think of. I truly hope they end up staying onsite with us. Now we just found out that 4 more family members are joining us onsite for a couple days (Cousin's father, stepmother, brother, and sister) That brings us up to a grand total of 26 at our largest (if Cousin and family join us).

I think the biggest perk would be the ease of breaking up the party. If anyone wants to go back to the resort for a break, retire early, swim , whatever they could if they stay offsite then when one wants to leave they will all have to leave. I can see that being the biggest problem. It wouldn't be possible for one parent to take the little ones back to the resort while the older ones stay and play with the other children. I have given my experience and support for an onsite stay but now I'm out. I'll answer any questions they may have but will not debate it (Cousin's DH LOVES to debate). I told her that in the end she needs to do what is best for her family.

But, like someone early on said, stay out of it. Otherwise you become the bad guy.

Even though I'm staying out of it I'll be the bad guy. I'm an easy target.

[KAT1811]

Plus he's going with his wife's cousin's family, not even his in-laws. He could be cut a break.

We are split between 2 resorts, Old Key West (myself, DH, our 4 children, my parents, and DH's uncle and cousin) and All Star Music (Cousin's 2 brothers, sister, SIL, 2 neices, 2 nephews, father, stepmother). We are all arriving at different times during a 12 night stay.

His in-laws are part of the traveling party. Cousin's two brothers, sister, nieces, nephews, father, and step mother are all coming with us. It is just about the whole in-law family.

I'm not really sure why he fights staying onsite as much as he does. He doesn't like to be wrong, ever, so I think this is more of an "I'm right and you're wrong" thing.

[Momto3littlemice]

I agree with WDWfan. If his reasoning is cost (which is potentially real), have him draw up his budget with real numbers (incl tax, parking, rental car, transport from airport, etc) and have her draw up hers. If is true only reason is cost and it comes out the same, then no worries - he will have to agree!

Having said that, we do this very thing every year and for the past two stays (for various reasons, including the great deal we get on our rental house and the large number of people in our party) it came out largely in favor of offsite. (which we loved) So, you must be prepared either way.

[Aurora]

Now we just found out that 4 more family members are joining us onsite for a couple days (Cousin's father, stepmother, brother, and sister).

His in-laws are part of the traveling party. Cousin's two brothers, sister, nieces, nephews, father, and step mother are all coming with us. It is just about the whole in-law family.

I'm not really sure why he fights staying onsite as much as he does. He doesn't like to be wrong, ever, so I think this is more of an "I'm right and you're wrong" thing.

Well if he now has his in-laws coming as well, I think you've done your due diligence and have to let the chips fall where they may. That is quite a group!

[Goofy Texan]

Debating the issue with someone who insists they are right will probably be impossible. Instead, find ways to let "him" know that "he" will miss out on things. For example, let's say you're at dinner with him and his wife. Your conversation could go something like this:

"Hey, I was looking at the park schedules for our vacation. Did you know the Magic Kingdom is open until 2am on Friday for Extra Magic Hours? Won't the older kids - and some of us grown ups- have a blast being in the park that late. It's so pretty a night, and cooler too. Oh, wait! EMH is only for resort guests. Hmmm.... I already told my kids they could go to that. Would you mind too much if we did it anyway? I'd hate to dissappoint them - they were so excited."

You get the idea. This gives the ogre a chance to change his mind - not because he's wrong, but because he's missing out on something he wants to do. Other conversations can relate to being able to split up the family if someone needs to go back to the resort, not needing to wait to pick up a rental car, suggesting when to leave the hotel to arrive at the park on time - onsite people leave an hour early, off site people an hour and half to an hour and 45 minutes early because of parking and traffic.

I understand where your friend is coming from. I was married to a "it's my way or the highway" type. Not much you can do about it if they dig there heels in and refuse to give in. Or, almost worse, having them give in only to be angry and upset the whole time. Getting rid of that guy was one of the best things I ever did!

[jpH/keD]

Been HERE DONE THIS!! Here is what turned my family around: Simply put if you dont stay on property and the PARKS CLOSE DUE TO REACHING CAPACITY you dont get IN!!!!!!!!
After spending $$$$$$ that would STINK!!

Tell him to tell his kids, sorry since we picked the wrong hotel you dont get to go today!
He WONT WANT to do that! If there is a heart in there somewhere!

Good luck!! It worked for us! twice!!

[steamboat willy]

Dang........it's hard enough for me to plan for my DW and Grandson..........I can't imagine!
Sounds like the bulk of the family is going and staying on site. Hooray! Hopefully the rest will follow, if not, they will get what they will get. You've done your best.
P.S - Staying on site is the best!

1. The Magic Begins at the gate.
2. EMH for all days.
3. Free Parking/Free Transportation
4. Even if you have a car....Drive back to resort when you want.
5. Me and the Kids to the Pool. When We Want..
6. Disney Movies by the pool at night.
7. Beer and a Pizza by the pool at night.

Hope it works out for ALL!
Have a great vacation!

[BrerSchultzy]

It sounds like your cousin's husband is using some of the arguments people used to have about WDW. We all tend to forget that not everyone lives and breathes Disney. Some people heard something about it 20 years ago, and that's all they know of it.
A detailed cost analysis will help, and make sure it's not a "See how much better Disney is" meeting. Renting a car is important to some people...especially people who don't realize how much there is in WDW. Ask him where exactly he wants to go with this car. If it's a control issue, maybe he and his wife could work out a deal where he gets to hit ESPN or Downtown Disney on his own some nights. He'll soon figure out that WDW has almost everything, and almost everything is better there.
Oh, and don't forget, that on top of resort taxes and rental cars and parking in Disney and gas prices...most hotels also charge a nightly parking fee, sometimes as much as $10 a night.

[r4kids]

Has anyone suggested maybe instead of one of the two resorts your family is staying in, they could check out the cabins?? We are a family of 6, so I know two rooms are SUPER expensive!! May tip the balance to being less expensive ??

[brivers222]

The best argument against staying offsite...ever

... Let him stay offsite this trip....

[KAT1811]

Well, I just heard from Cousin and it looks like they are going to give onsite a try!

I think the big seller was the point that the entire family would be onsite and they would be the only ones offsite.

She asked for tips and tricks to save money so I am going to put together a list for her and include the perks for onsite guests.

you all for all of the fabulous reasons in support of an onsite stay! I knew I could count on my Intercot friends to help out!!!

[nfrustaci]

hi kat

just wanted to let u know that the all star music resort has family suites that accomodate up to 6 people. 1 queen size bed in the bedroom (includes 1 bath) a sleeper sofa in the living area and 2 chairs that turn into single beds and a bathroom . it also has a mini kitchen in it too. they will also give you a crib upon request. (if they need that). u didn't mention how old the kids were. i am not sure what the difference would be for 2 rooms vs the family suite.

[PopPhan]

hi kat

just wanted to let u know that the all star music resort has family suites that accomodate up to 6 people. 1 queen size bed in the bedroom (includes 1 bath) a sleeper sofa in the living area and 2 chairs that turn into single beds and a bathroom . it also has a mini kitchen in it too. they will also give you a crib upon request. (if they need that). u didn't mention how old the kids were. i am not sure what the difference would be for 2 rooms vs the family suite.

Actually, two rooms at a Value resort are cheaper than one Family Suite. The suite has a "sitting area" to go along with the two bedrooms, whereas two rooms give you two separate bathrooms. the concern with two rooms is in getting connecting, or even adjoining, rooms to make it convenient.

[nfrustaci]

oh and i forgot it is only 1480 for the hotel for a 6 night stay (7days). i dont think that is alot. i have stayed off property at a timeshare and it cost 1000 for the week and we still had to buy the tickets, rent a car ($400.00), gas it up, parking. that was quite some time ago. so i imagine it is quite a bit more now. and that was an economy car since it was just my hubby and i. granted it was a 3 bedroom 3 bath full kitchen washer and dryer pool and hot tub at westgate lakes resort and spa.

[nfrustaci]

Actually, two rooms at a Value resort are cheaper than one Family Suite. The suite has a "sitting area" to go along with the two bedrooms, whereas two rooms give you two separate bathrooms. the concern with two rooms is in getting connecting, or even adjoining, rooms to make it convenient.

so true popphan, i have been to the pop so many times and we were never able to get connecting rooms. most of the time we were in the same building same floor but not near eachother. just recentely on our last trip we were next to eachother.