Disney puts marriages to the test

[Mr_Increddieble]

From my balcony at the Beach Club.
Traveling around the world for 6 days now I have observed heated discussions amongst parents and it has caused me to reflect on my own marriage and how we conduct ourselves here.
1.- Time spent on vacation needs to be thought of as getting to know our partners again, working together (one parent sitting with the kids while the other gets lunch). One parent can easily feel like they are doing all the work while the acts like "Hey, I'm on vacation". Be thoughtful.
2.- Kids get hot and tired and have meltdowns. Chill out and have some quiet time taking naps or chillin' out by the pool.
3.- Take turns letting each family member have some 'vacation' time. Let Mom take a nap while Dad takes the kids to the pool.
4.- Know when to push and when to pull back. The 6 yr old daughter may not want to ride Dinosaur no matter how much you bribe or cajole. Do without.
5.- Sit down meals make excellent family time to simply be together and maybe reach consensus on what to do and in what order for the night or the next day. No surprises or unilateral decisions.

Disney vacations can easily stress everyone out. Know that in advance.

Just some random thoughts, what do you think?

[KylesMom]

Let me preface by saying this will be our eleventh annual vacation at Disney with our DS, who turned 12 on February 14.

In 1991, my dream honeymoon was to be at Disney on my 25th birthday - kind of a wedding present/birthday present all wrapped into one. I'd never been there, but I thought that it was a perfect place/time to experience it for the first time.

After seeing what we saw, DH and I kissed, hugged & swore we would never bring a kid to Disney until they were no less than 10.

More the fools were we when we painted our son's room red & decorated it all in Disney. Around his second birthday, when the Millennium Celebration was being advertised, DS was yelling at the TV, "Ickey's House - I wanna go to Ickey's House!" See, he thought that Cinderella was just an afterthought - he really thought that Mickey Mouse lived in the castle & he wanted to go there to see his buddy. Long story short? We caved.

I cannot disagree with one thing you posted. I must admit, it took us a few trips to get our system down, so to speak. We, too, thought that our one family vacation to Disney would be our last for many years - but we find a way to make it happen because it brings us so much joy. However, the first two trips were a bit stressful, and we've learned that one of us has to hold it together, so to speak, when the other falters due to crowds, service, being tired or simply being overwhelmed by spending so much time together, which we're not used to.

Sit down meals make excellent family time to simply be together and maybe reach consensus on what to do and in what order for the night or the next day. No surprises or unilateral decisions.

Couldn't agree with you more. Although we usually eat breakfast in the room, a TS at lunch or dinner is a necessity for our family. It allows us to laugh, talk about the day as it's happened, and what's next. Nice post!

[5MemphisTiggers]

I couldn't agree more with everything that you posted.

In fact, I think your suggestions apply to everyday life -- not just vacations. Families will get along much better -- both on vacation and at home -- following these suggestions.

Thanks for this post!

[kakn7294]

For us, Disney brings us closer. We get along there better than we do at home. We rarely argue there and most of that has been when we've had other family members along. For us I think it's the lack of stress - no jobs, no school, no running the kids to a million activities.

[DizneyRox]

I love people wataching at WDW!

[Ms. Mode]

"We, too, thought that our one family vacation to Disney would be our last for many years - but we find a way to make it happen because it brings us so much joy." Kylesmom


Our first trip my DH put over 4000 miles on his shoes in the parks running to get the FP tickets. By our second trip we had a plan! The plan keeps changes with every trip, but we have stopped thinking that "this trip will be our last" because we love it so much.

[Dsnygirl]

For us, Disney brings us closer. We get along there better than we do at home. We rarely argue there and most of that has been when we've had other family members along. For us I think it's the lack of stress - no jobs, no school, no running the kids to a million activities.

I couldn't agree more... we've found our Disney trips to be the best vacation memories we've had.

Not that each trip doesn't have at least one "let's re-group" moment, but by and large, we laugh more, hug more, talk more and are generally at our happiest for the longest stretch of time while we're there.

Now THAT'S magic!!

[mouseketeer mom]

I couldn't agree more... we've found our Disney trips to be the best vacation memories we've had.

Not that each trip doesn't have at least one "let's re-group" moment, but by and large, we laugh more, hug more, talk more and are generally at our happiest for the longest stretch of time while we're there.

Now THAT'S magic!!

Totally agree with this. The coming together of the children is amazing! The trip usually finds the kids walking hand in hand or arms around each other. We always say, "only in Disney"..

[Mr_Increddieble]

Safe to say it wasn't you I dun seen disputin'.
That's my Hoop Dee Doo yalkin'

[Jenemmy]

I agree with you. I was there the first week of May, and I made mention one day that I had never heard so many crying kids in all my trips to Disney combined. Every where I turned, someone was screaming. I wanted to run up, throw pixie dust on the family and say "There's no crying in DISNEY!!!"

My theory was just with the expense and the crowd, that people are pushing, pushing, pushing to get their kids to EVERYTHING and not miss ANYTHING and honestly, people just look worn out. Slow down and smell the Main Street Bake Shop, folks! It is next to impossible to take in all that the WORLD has to offer, why not go for quality over quantity?

As for us, my husband likes to go to the room for naps during vacation. Leaving my beloved park to nap strikes fear in my very soul. LOL -- But, hey -- it is his vacation too. Your point about giving each person their "vacation" time is so valid. I always let him go nap, taking any kid of ours that is tired and needs a re-charge. I either go back to the hotel and poke around in the shops, walk the grounds or just stay in the park and meet up later.

[1EeyoreFan]

Having just come back, I wish some had read your advice! lol We witnessed several couples having rather "loud" discussions with each other.

Thought one couple would come to shoving while waiting in line to see the princesses! Had to distract my DD as best I could during that lovely incident. Needless to say, Dad was upset at the 30 min. wait. Hope they did not try make the 45 min. wait for the fairies!

The worst was in the PLAY yard at EPCOT! This couple was not even attempting to mask their anger as they fussed back and forth their little one CRAWLED away into the action of the other children. My friend and I kept an eye on the little one until dad came to scoop him up. I hope they were able to resolve their differences and have a good time.

JUst some examples of what the heat and being tired can do. lol Having gone for a week without DH I can say I was really missing him. I would chance having a disagreement before I went that long again! lol

[emmatink]

I agree 100% too!! I think the lesson we have learned is not to plan the trip minute to minute and just enjoy being away from the work place and with our family!! Lots of shaded areas and rest!!!

[princessgirls]

It's all give and take.

We have had our share of moments over the years. More in the baking hot sun... when kids get hot, cranky and tired it's not a good combo...

My kids do better with a jammed packed day, and I never hear I'M BORED!!!

WE LOVE DISNEY!!! CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK.

Julie

[g8rgirl29]

I agree!! I also think with that much togetherness everyone is going to need a "time out" at some point during the trip, adults included. DH and I have a few of those frustrating moments every trip (they usually happen as we are trying to get everything ready to get out the door and mainly because DH can't seem to read my mind?? LOL) but you just need to step back, remember where you are and why you are there!! My motto is "How bad can it actually be, we are in Disney!?!?"

[javamama]

This last trip was our first family vacation just the four of us, and it was bad at all. We did have a melt down or two from our 3.5 year old, and our 6 year old did get lazy at times and wanted dh to carry him(all 53lbs of him)in the 90+ heat, but all in all after the bribing, the countless things these two got, and oddles of popsicles I'd say it was a great trip(minus the bug in the room ) My dd did elbow ds in the face a few times that I could have done without, but I can't wait to go back with just the four of us again(we usually take big family trips down as a xmas gift from my parents)

[Tink#64]

I couldn't agree more... we've found our Disney trips to be the best vacation memories we've had.

Not that each trip doesn't have at least one "let's re-group" moment, but by and large, we laugh more, hug more, talk more and are generally at our happiest for the longest stretch of time while we're there.

Now THAT'S magic!!

That's us to a "T"! We usually average one of those moments, but for the most part, the escape of WDW & lack of the daily grind & stress hleps us to remember that we actaully enjoy each other's company! Our last trip, DS (then 12) was embarrased by me & DH while we were being extremely goofy one evening in MK & skipping & having a grand ole time! lol

[vizsla]

Thanks for the report.

[faline]

Exellent observations! So many folks are striving for the "perfect" Disney vacation where they get to do everything that they forget to actually enjoy what they are doing!

[alaMode]

Unfortunately (for him!) DH just doesn't enjoy the WDW experience as much as our DS and I do, so DS and I travel without him. We typically meet up with extended family and/or friends for extra fun, but it's also fun when it's just the 2 of us.

I'm very happy that DH and I came to the conclusion that it's better to visit WDW without him--We didn't want to hurt each other's feelings, but it really is best if he stays home.

DH enjoys a week or two "Home Alone" to get major projects done, or to just have some much needed down time.

We travel as a family at least twice a year. On those trips we go places we all want to visit and we're all happy!

[caryrae]

We have found if it's just my wife and I we have a great time and have a lot of fun together. Like others said it is knowing there is no work or real world stress at this time and we know all we have to look forward to is FUN. If we go with more people it gets a little more challenging with different ideas of what to do, where to go, where to eat, ect but still a good time.