How Fights Start (Humorous)

[brad192]

This was forwarded to me by a fellow thespian. I laughed out loud at a few of these. Enjoy!

How Fights Start.......

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot

as a Christmas gift..

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the

gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

================

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.


'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.


So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'


And that's when the fight started.....

================

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first..

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'


He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'


'Nah, she can order for herself..'


And that's when the fight started.....

================

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping

the channels.


She asked, 'What's on TV?'


I said, 'Dust.'


And then the fight started...

================

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming


anniversary.


She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to


200 in about 3 seconds.'


I bought her a scale.


And then the fight started...

================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school


reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as


he sat alone at a nearby table.


I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...


I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and


I hear he hasn't been sober since.'


'My God!' I said, 'who would think a


person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

================

I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were


alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know


how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem


funny?


Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!


He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,


'I AM NOT HAPPY!'


So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'


And then the fight started...

================

SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST…

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife


kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.


But, somehow I always had something else to take care of


first, the truck, the car, playing! golf, Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When


I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,


busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.


I watched silently for a short time and then went into the


house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed


her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,


you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[Disney4us2]

Too funny!! Thanks for sharing.

[Jeff]

Funny Stuff!

[hoop de do]

Thanks for sharing Brad.

[Hayden's Dad]

LOL It's funny because it's true

[RedSoxFan]

very funny

[Disneypixie513]

Haha! Those were great.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

Thanks for the giggles.

[IamBelle]

Hilarious!!

[beksy]

Very funny! Thanks!