Toddler Discipline and Sitting-Still During Meals

[brownie]

Don't let her graze. If she wants to eat, she has to sit at the table or in a high chair. Kids are smarter than we think, and she'll learn pretty quick that she needs to sit nice.

[azdisneymom]

From the sounds of things you know in your heart how to handle this. You are right, every child is different and you know yours best.

One suggestion I have is let your child pick out one or two really fun, quiet activities i.e. coloring or looking at a book, to take to the table with them. Make sure they know they can have these things if they sit still; like a big kid, and when not eating. It might take a couple times to practice but they will get the idea that it is much more fun to sit and do an activity that they picked out themselves.

Happy parenting!

[teambricker04]

It is always a little reassuring to know that I am not the only parent dealing with this! My 23 mo DS is testing his limits these days as well. Right now a firm "NO!" keeps him in his seat, but I have memories of his older brother running around the table. It takes time and consistancy, but eventually you will sit through a meal and no even think about it!

[thrillme]

First rule was when we go to a resturant you stay in your seat. You did NOT make noise to disturb OTHER diners (not every diner is fond of kids no matter how cute the parents think they are).

One of my favorites was if he didn't do what I told him we would go sit in the car. This was pure TORTURE. I'd give him a warning or two then I'd scoop him up and take him to the car put him in the car seat buckle him in and just sit there. SIGH...sometimes my ears felt like they were going to explode but he caught on really quick. (Not sitting in the car seat or even attempting to unbuckle it was an instant spanking). Fortunately this only happend a couple of times.

"Balony" a 22 month old doesn't understand...they LEARN behaviors...Many learn the word NO very well. I would not permit the "NO" word. It made me crazy when a 2 year old tells me no. From the moment they start "crawling" behavior can be learned. You've just got to be consistant and have patience.

I think it's WONDERFUL that you're being pro-active NOW. Too often parents wait till the child is older...by then it's too late and they turn into the monsters that you have to leave in the "child swap" till a better one comes along.

[*Mulan*]

My 9-yr-old always has been willful and tries to have her own way. I find it helps me avoid battle scenes if I calmly state the rules in the positive, rather than mentioning the negative consequences. In response to her whining/complaining that she's hungry (because didn't want to reinforce the grazing habit), I tried to say in a happy voice "Yes, I know. I'd love to feed you when you sit in your chair/booster seat." If I put it in the negative-- You have to do.... You can't eat if you don't... If you get down the food goes away...-- those immediately sparked the battle of wills. I still use it today, now she wants to dictate what foods I serve by claiming she won't eat the things she doesn't like. That's OK, I say, maybe you can eat something at the next meal. (At age 9, I know she won't starve from one meal to the next, and she's fully capable of learning to eat more than a toddler's selection... she's finally learning and has added quite a few new foods to her list-- Yay!) Good luck, and don't be sucked in to her world of "you can't make me no matter what you try"!

[mrsgaribaldi]

First rule was when we go to a resturant you stay in your seat. You did NOT make noise to disturb OTHER diners (not every diner is fond of kids no matter how cute the parents think they are).

I don't have any kids but I love them, especially at Disney World. But sometimes eating is another matter. We were having a nice dinner at the California Grill. Next to us, a nice family of 4. Parents and a boy and girl. The kids sat there nicely, colored, ate their food, they were adorable. Across the way, large family eating with one empty seat. Where was he? Running around, lying on the floor, standing next to other people's tables no where near his. Mom and dad very rarely called him over or tried to stop him. I expected a waiter to trip over him and someone possibly get hurt. Now that's annoying. I understand about kids and toddlers but you shouldn't be enjoying your dinner while your kid is standing next to my table interrupting mine, that is just wrong. Not that I was implying anyone here would do that, I was just sharing a story. I wasn't trying to upset anyone and I hope I didn't.

[mrsgaribaldi]

and I killed the thread, sorry

[LittleSpirit02]

In addition to the many good tips Intercotees have given in regards to creating a consistent structure and routine for eating at home - I would also suggest starting to prep her for the trip when it gets closer. Just remind her at dinner (maybe every night for two weeks before the trip?) that soon we're going to be going on vacation and eating with lots of people. We have to be good while we're there and sit nicely. Obviously word it however is best for your daughter but being proactive goes a long way.

[dmosher]

I have always maintained that duct tape is the best baby-sitter. What... NO I do not have kids... so what? hehe

D

[Septbride2002]

We took a slightly moderate step with this. As I didn't want every dinner to be ruined. We certainly let our daughter down but she wasn't allowed to graze. If she got down the food went away and she learned that pretty quick. Now my daughter is a fast eater, as am I, so sometimes going out to dinner can be a real hassle - especially when we go out with my Dad who will savor a meal for a good 30 to 40 minutes beyond what everyone else has. I don't understand why he eats so slow - the food gets cold sitting for that long.

Anyway - we've brought toys and stuff to help entertain when we go to resturants - not anything loud the typical coloring books, play-doh, toy cars, etc. and yes we've had to leave a resturant a few times.

You can't let a toddler walk all over you but you don't have to be General Patton either

~Amanda