Unruly Children and inept parents

[DessertDivaFL]

This is a SENSITIVE subject.

It is important for the safety and wellbeing of children to say something gently. If a child is only being annoying, they are being a child, it is not always bad parenting.

TIP: Before throwing stones to others, first make sure your side of the fence is perfect.

[illini]

This is such a difficult topic. NONE of us have perfect children who behave perfectly all the time. NONE of us are perfect parents who see every single thing our child does or reacts perfectly to every situation. The ones who claim their kids are or they are... well, those are usually the ones who are the topic of the complaint in the first place.

Children are CHILDREN, not miniature adults. They do not have the responsibilities of adulthood and I think it's sad that some people have adult expectations of them. Of course, I raise my children with respect to growing them into good adults, but at the end of the day... they're kids.

I don't think that the OP did anything wrong. I suspect that the initial negative reaction many people had (myself included) was to the choice of words such as brusque and chastise. After reading more, I don't think anything out of line was probably said. I would like to point out, however, that I believe HISTK playground has a minimum height requirement (correct? I know it used to) that would not be met by a 19 month old. I think that most 6 or 7 year olds would have brushed it off or perhaps said something akin to, "Hey-- it's MY turn!" and that would be the end of it. I think that the height and/or age requirement is there for that reason. Too much age discrepancy can create problems. But I wouldn't be upset if someone nicely pointed out to my child if s/he jumped ahead in line. While I'd like to believe that my kids wouldn't do that, I know they're not perfect and it's within the realm of possibility. That doesn't, however, make them unruly by any stretch of the imagination.

Most of us in this thread seem to be parents. I think we should all just remember that the VAST majority of us are doing the best we can.

[RBrooksC]

I checked any height or age requirement before I entered the playground with my child. There was nothing posted and the no CM stopped me from entering with my child nor stopped me from letting my child slide.

To be honest, that wasn't the bad scenerio. That child said he was sorry and was about to move and let my child go. He turned out to be a good boy albiet typical boy so while I was annoyed about being pushed mostly he reaction to my speaking to him was of a child whose parents had taught him well.

The second issue annoyed me because the mom was watching them abuse the equipment and she did nothing before I asked if they were using it or just playing. I can assure you if I had a child that age or was with a child that age in my charge, I would NEVER have let them play on the computer like that. That is why I was annoyed at mostly the mom.

[Pipalotta]

Wow this topic is a bit on the crazy side. As a nanny I find it hard not to "parent" other peoples children as it is basically my job. Although I have never experienced this in Disney, I had many experiences with it this summer at the community pool. One mother sat so far away from her children so she could talk on her cell phone with out them bothering her, that I as well as the lifeguards had to speak to them many times about their behavior. They even had to sit out and the mother never once asked them why.

I have problems with people being rude especially adults more so than children. I just believe that if a child is rude, for the most part it is a learned behavior from the parent. When someone runs into me and does not say excuse me let alone sorry I will go out my way to say sorry excuse me loudly as to point out what may have happen. I dont know I just feel like it isnt just one persons fault when someone is rude.

But what really makes me crazy is when you say bless you and the person doesnt say thank you! Haha.

[LoriMistress]

Ah man, thank god I kind of stayed out of it on this thread. I was on another board, and the subject came up on how do you handle if your children asked if the characters are "real." To make a long story short, one person took the conversation personally when she didn't like another person's response--and blew up and told the person that they were a bad parent because of it! Yea, it turned ugly.

Just remember that no one on this board is here to attack anyone on any parenting issue/skills. People are sharing THEIR experience with other Disney Guests. Remember--YOU WEREN'T THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! People react in different ways.

[I believe]

Which do you prefer, a dole whip or a float?


Thought I'd change the subject for a minute.

[nicole48040]

Kis are kids....ask them once and if no response move on to their parents, only a warning-rude children are often the products of rude parents, so don't expect to get too far. Best advice, ignore and move on. BTW, glares work much better on kids than parents.

[DisneyorBust]

Hey I Believe, I'll answer your question.....
Make mine a Dole Whip!

[kakn7294]

Which do you prefer, a dole whip or a float?


Thought I'd change the subject for a minute.

I kinda like the float...

[Sean Riley Taylor's Mom]

Which do you prefer, a dole whip or a float?


Thought I'd change the subject for a minute.

I had a Dole Whip for the first time ever at MNSSHP on the 21st. I never knew I was missing such a good treat. Thanks Intercot!!

[Bringonthemouse!]

Why don't we all take a breather from this subject and go to our children and tell them we love them and smooch on them a little (as annoying as many of our children will find that to be!!) If they aren't within reach, pick up the phone.


I feel great now, how 'bout you??

[CYBERDISNUT]

Boy, first off, I didn't repremand the children. I asked a question of the children. I guess my description of brusquely was a bad choice of words. Again, for that and that alone, I will apologize.

I did ask the question in a stern tone because I felt the children using the PC as a Nintendo was using the piece of equipment as a toy when it supposed to be used to look up stuff pertaining to that store. I never raised my voice nor did I tell the children they were wrong. When they dove away from the PC because they knew what they were doing was not correct, I said thank you because I need to use it to look up something.

I WAITED for several minutes while I watched the children spin the trackball as fast as the could or type gibberish into the keyboard while giggling. It was cute in the beginning but when one is waiting and the children using it are using it as a babysitter, I begin to draw the line. The mother clearly knew what they were doing but she was more interested in keeping them occupied while she chatted with somebody. She, in my opinion, glared at me because her kids were no longer occupied by the PC and she had to take care of them again. These children were no autistic or had any learning disabilities. And before you ask, how I can be sure, and I know I can't be 100% certain, they certainly didn't act any different than 90% of all children I see each and every day.

I don't think, when my intentions are to use the equipment as it is intended, asking the children if they are using the PC to look up something or are they playing is out of line. To be honest, if the mother had said something to me, I would have iterated the same thing I wrote here. The children were basically abusing the equipment while I stood patiently for several minutes waiting to use the equipement as it was intended.

The kids were abusing the equipment??? Are you serious? I look at it this way.... If you needed to use the computer to look something up and the kids were using it as a Nintendo, you should have spoke up and asked if they were done sooner then having to wait. Most kids will PLAY with computers at first chance. I mean they are kids and possibly didn't know you were wanting to use it. I don't see anything wrong with saying something them but you should have said it sooner. And complaining about having to WAIT is just funny.
I don't get why some people will let other adults(the mother with daggers for eyes) bother them when passing later at night. Thick skin can protect from the daggers. If you think you were right why let it bother you? You are not going to change her parenting.

For the other situationon the slide..... I probably would have done the same by saying politely " we all have to wait our turns" or something to that effect.

[tinksmom02]

I like the pineapple float...just had my first one last week!

Anyway, when DD5 and I are waiting in a line, and it seems other kids are trying to take over her spot, and parents are nowhere to be found, or otherwise occupied, I always make a point of saying, "OK, Jenna, this little boy is going and then it's our turn," or "there's 2 kids in front of us, and then we get to go," etc., just loud enough for the would-be line cutters to hear. I'm not speaking to anyone's child except my own, I'm not saying anything that could be taken as criticism, I'm simply stating the facts. The other kids always realize that I know what they're up to, and they'll step back to their rightful place in line, without me having to say anything directly to them.

I've used this approach everywhere (arcades, amusement parks, fairs, etc.), and it always seems to work for me. Of course, this won't work for every situation...

[AbeeNormal]

Which do you prefer, a dole whip or a float?


Thought I'd change the subject for a minute.

Make mine a Dole Whip..... Haven't had one yet but I can't wait til January 95 days to go..

I responded early and had not idea this would be the outcome. Thanks for the subject break

[AdventurerKim]

Kis are kids....ask them once and if no response move on to their parents, only a warning-rude children are often the products of rude parents, so don't expect to get too far. Best advice, ignore and move on. BTW, glares work much better on kids than parents.

I agree with the ignore it and move on approach which I do when in public and encounter rude children, either at Disney or in my regular daily life. Glares absolutely work; all I have to do is give my "teacher eye", and they stop their rude behavior, my students and kids in public (all kids know this look). I will never approach a parent when in public about a child's behavior because I've been burned a few times by their rudeness, and it's easier to ignore it and not let it interfere with fun at Disney or anywhere else.

The worst I've ever witnessed at Disney was at an Epcot bus stop about a year or so ago. A child had to use the restroom and told his mother this, and mom said to just go in the bushes. Thankfully, the child didn't do this.

[azdisneymom]

I work with 5 and 6 year olds and I can tell you from my observations... Sometimes kids have all the energy in the world and the parents are exhausted. They let little things slip by that they wouldn't normally just because they are worn out. Sometimes it is the child who is worn out or on sensory overload, ending up in tantrums. In addition kids are just naturally 'me first'. Once in a while it is both parent and child who could use a nap. My advice is you are there to have fun. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[kim1st]

but I don't see children as mini adults and I do forgive them their mistakes.

Really - adults aren't always so great about being polite and waiting their turn, so I'm inclined to cut kids at WDW (and their parents) SOME slack.

On the one hand, I get extremely frustrated when I see other children not held to the same standards as my children - but I just stick to my guns and let them know that they have to follow OUR family's rules.

On the other hand - I try not to judge other parents...they might be more tough on some areas where I tend to be a little more lax and vice versa.

It is not easy to be a parent right now - I am always REALLY self conscious about my own parenting - wondering if I was too harsh about one thing or not tough enough about another - because I feel like all of my kids' transgressions are MY FAULT...

I do my best to teach my children to be respectful and to be safe, and I think most of us parents out there do the same in our own ways...but why are we (parents) always watching and waiting for an opportunity to pounce on the imperfection of others among us????

[Here we go again...]

Ahhh, but see -- you didn't need to be mortified. You didn't do a thing wrong, in my opinion. I take my son with me just about everywhere I go -- I see the world as a learning tool for him. He needs to figure out how to be in the real world and the real world needs to figure out kiddos like him. To me, this was a wonderful learning tool for all involved.

I have had a lot of people try to talk to my son, who is largely non-verbal -- then demand to know why he was rude and wouldn't respond! It's a great chance for me to explain a little about autism and how he understands them and appreciates them paying attention to him, he just can't reciprocate. It's a great opportunity for me to, in turn, say to my son -- "hey, buddy -- that lady was saying hello to you....try looking at her/waving etc...".

All I was trying to say with my first post in this thread is that because there have been a few instances where I have been judged due to a spontaneous meltdown by my son (who I quickly remove from the situation when that happens) so, I have learned to slow down and not be too quick to form an opinion on another family. Believe me -- before my special guy came along, I probably would have been the FIRST to think about how a parent should be handling an unruly child -- LOL

I am so glad that you made this post. Many people, myself included, have been quick to judge children when they have meltdowns or seem to be ignoring an adult when asked a question. I think that it is wonderful that you are willing to share your child's world with those that will listen and understand.
My mother was a double amputee due to Diabetes. I remember children staring at her and their parents fussing at them... until my mom said it was okay. And then she would explain what happened (in kid friendly words). I remeber those parents looking mortified if their child asked "where are your legs?" But I think it was a kind of therapy for mom to be able to talk about it.
Many parents now don't want you to ask questions or invade in their private life. I love the example you are setting for people like me. I have no famly or friends with Autistic children. But, thanks to Intercot, I now have a small view into the world of an Autistic child and can be a little more understanding when things happen...

It used to be in this country that people parented as a team. pretty much all parents were a united front. It was sure that way when I was growing up in the 70's. If I did something wrong at Karen's house, Karen's mom had permission to scold me and my mom would back her up for doing so. The day we decided to treat our kids like miniature gods and goddesses was a truly sad day.

Wow, do I remember those days. I would get my booty beat from the lady next door just as quick as my mom would do it if I acted up. Sometimes I would get it twice because mom would spank me because I acted up and got spanked by the neighbor.

[mouseaddict]

This post was off topic from the start. This is theme parks..not parenting 101.
I have to agree with not judging. Yes..some parents could be more attentive. Every once and a while though parents make mistakes (at least I do!) but that does not make us inept. Please do not judge me..I do not judge you. It is sad because lately that is all we seem to see on the boards..people complaining about kids..well...hello..you are at Disney. If you don't want to deal with kids that are sometimes poorly behaved..go to Sandals or something where kids are not allowed.
To me..a bad parent beats their child (and I mean beat..not spank) or molests them..or chooses drugs and alcohol over them (yes Britney, I am talking about you). There are much worse things going on in this world than kids misbehaving at Disney.
And I like the Dole whip..but I prefer ice cream Mickey's!

[momof3+twins]

Okay, I really hate to see rude kids. I teach my kids the basic manners that everyone (including adults should follow). Example: Step aside while waiting for an elevator, don't ride your bike through your neighbors yard, don't walk into your neighbors house. Seems silly but Please and Thank you are not enough. I have actually encountered all of the above plus more. I could go on and on.
BUT, keep in mind how crabby we all tend to get in Disney since we encounter line cutters hourly. And the crowds really get to us. I hate line cutters!! But, the Mother who glared at you probably thought you were a quite rude adult. I do NOT like people to correct my children. It makes me furious. And adults are fully capable of waiting their turn. That mother was trying to have a good time. Just like you. And I am 100% sure that if I was in that situation she would have driven me bonkers too! But, I would have went on to something else and then came back after the kids had left. Don't hate me!!!