Homeless brother

[Katzateer]

The only reason I am posting this here- I know there are people in so many different fields and need any suggestions I can get.

My brother lost his job a couple of years ago. I have told him if things get really bad - let me know so I can help.

Will, a police officer came to my house today and my brother has been living homeless, under a bridge, for 3+ weeks in St. Charles MO. He would not give any information out to a social worker until last night. They were able to trace me with my name and address, my brother did not have a phone number to give him.

So he has lost his home and all his possessions. Just the clothes on his back. How can someone travel like that- if I pay a one- way ticket to fly him to Philly he will have to have a license which I don't think he as ANYTHING, it s all locked up in his house .

Too much to think about......I just want to grab him and shake him. Then give him a big hug......

[DisneyDINK]

Wow! I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I truly feel for you and appreciate you trying to reach out to him. I hope he's willing to get some assistance.

Maybe try travellers aid?

MISSOURI

St. Louis

Mullanphy Travelers Aid
The Globe Building
702 North Tucker Blvd.
St. Louis, MO 63101
(314) 241-5820

He can dial 211 from a phone for social services to get connected to local programs.

You could also try Peter and Paul Community Services - 314.588.7111 ext. 206.

I imagine someone at one of these community resources/charities can assist him to get an ID.

I'm not a social worker. I hope someone chimes in who is better qualified than me. I wish you both good luck and lots of pixie dust.

[Dulcee]

You don't need I'D for a bus ticket or a train ticket both of which may be options.

But, before going that route be sure he wants that kind of help. Slipping into homelessness has probably left him feeling quite low. Maybe getting in touch with the social worker would give you some more direction.

[DisneyDINK]

You don't need I'D for a bus ticket or a train ticket both of which may be options.

Amtrak DOES require valid state or other official government ID. Even if you pick up the ticket at a machine the conductors are supposed to ID everyone. I'm a former employee and I checked, the policy has not changed.

With Greyhound you'll need an ID to pick up any tickets purchased online or at another station for pick up.

[MNNHFLTX]

But, before going that route be sure he wants that kind of help. Slipping into homelessness has probably left him feeling quite low. Maybe getting in touch with the social worker would give you some more direction.

I agree. Talking with the social worker may help you determine his state of mind before you speak with him yourself. Why he would leave behind all of his belongings, as well as ID, makes me wonder if he was suffering from depression or other mental illness before he became homeless. Either he walked away from it all or there might have been a precipitating event--being hospitalized, jailed, etc.--that allowed a landlord or bank to get into his house and change the locks. As a nurse, I saw that happen several times in my career. In any case, the social worker should be able to help recover his ID. It may be that they can secure a court order for the police to enter the house and retrieve it (it will be a lot easier to do that than get a new one).

I can only imagine the heartache you are feeling right now. Take one step at a time. Hopefully you will get some guidance from the people trying to help your brother right now.

[Katzateer]

I am assuming he doesn't want any help because he is extremely depressed, embarrassed and just wants to die. He would not go to a homeless shelter when they would try to talk him into it.

And I would guess he answered his door and the mortgage company would not let him back in because he was way behind on his payments.

I have made a lot of calls, but I don't really have any answers. If you haven't lived in PA for 6 months, no agencies will help. And if he won't let an agency help him there, do I bring him here and then do what?? He evidently needs mental help. I can handle the transportation and room and board but medical expenses out of pocket will be an extreme problem for us.

Just wish he would not have let it get to this point. I offered help months ago and it would have been so much easier for him and me......

[disney obsessed]

I am so very sorry.

You are in a difficult position. Getting help for individuals with mental health issues can be next to impossible without their consent. Is he commitable? They would have to have a situation where he was in danger to himself and others. Homelessness does not qualify in most cases. There needs to be intent to harm himself or others. No hearsay, actual fact from the person who heard it or witnessed it. Has he actually said to you that he planned to hurt himself? Or the police? Chances that he has said anything to them are low or they would have had him evaluated already.

The situation is made more difficlut by the fact that because he is a male over the age of 18, he is considered 'able bodied' and there are few resources available. I looked everywhere last year to find someone to help an 18 yr old friend of the family who had been thrown out of his house. I was not able to find anything. Not even emergency assistance from welfare.

I would suggest two things.

First, if you can enlist the help of the social worker who has contact with him, use that person for everything they are worth. They know the area and what resources are available. Make sure to get a release signed from your brother so that you can have contact with them. Without it they will tell you very little. Its against the law. Confidentiality and all of that. If you do this, go out there and see things for yourself. Maybe find a way to get him committed while you are there. He will be MAD but remember you are doing this FOR him, not against him.

Second, let go of the situation and pray. Find support for yourself. NAMI can be a good resorce. Sometimes the situation just needs to play itself out and there is nothing you can do to save him. This is very harsh and I am sorry to suggest it. However, I have a masters degree in social work and worked inpatient and outpatient psych for many years. My specialty was schizophrenia. A particularly debilitating mental illness. One of its symptoms is a lack of insight. How do you make decisions for yourself when you cannot see that you need help? It is not fair but is the way our system works to protect people who would be and had been taken advantage of in the past.

Again, I am so sorry. You'll both be in my prayers.

[Katzateer]

After all day calling agencies in Indiana, Missouri, and PA. No helpful information and a lot of leave a message and we will call back. So tomorrow he is being sent to Philly on a one way flight and we will consider it a visit until I can figure out things. The chaplain and social worker in St. Charles said with less than 10 percent of the people they help they even FIND a family member to contact. So it is a blessing we even found him.

And he does have his drivers license on him, thank goodness. Since he will be traveling by plane and Amtrak tomorrow.

[disney obsessed]

Thank god!

That is the best possible news.

Good luck!

[MNNHFLTX]

Glad that you got some good news. Good luck to you all as you sort this out.

[kakn7294]

I can't offer any help but want to wish you good luck with sorting it all out.

[PirateLover]

What an awful situation. I am glad that he is able to fly to stay with you for a bit, and I hope that he is able to get back on the right track.Have you ever heard of the Back on My Feet organization? They are centered in Philly. They help homeless men and women re-enter society by building confidence through running. I don't know how old your brother is or what shape he's in, but it might be something to look into if he's adverse to typical medical assistance. The only catch is he'd need to transition to living at a shelter in Philly. Here's what the website says:

Back on My Feet partners with local facilities (emergency shelter, mission, halfway house, etc.) and holds orientation sessions to introduce the program to residents. To join, residents must have lived at the facility for at least 30 days. Residential Members joining the program complete a dedication contract, goals sheet and evaluation survey. Running teams consisting of Residential Members (those experiencing homelessness) and Non-Residential Members (community volunteers) are formed at each facility

You can probably contact them for more specific info. I know it's probably a long shot but I wanted to throw it out there to you just as an option since I don't know about anything else... best of luck to you, please keep us updated.

[Katzateer]

Thanks for that information but even in the best of health he has never been a runner. He was a computer programmer before he lost his job but the program was not commonly used and there were no jobs for his skill out there.

He was a musician that traveled all over the world with groups playing the marimba. At one time he was renting out a large inventory of beginner marimbas but not sure where they all are now. College educated, favorite place to vacation was Belize, and everything just fell apart for him. Hopefully he can pull himself together and get on with some kind of life and find a job to support himself. He is 53 so not an easy task, especially with the deep depression he is in.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

I don't have any advice to offer but I just wanted to say good luck to you and your brother. Hopefully knowing you are there for him will help him get back on his feet and get to a good place in life again.

[SBETigg]

Goodness, he's not that old. It's lovely that you're trying to help him out and I know it takes a toll on you, too. Best wishes in helping him get sorted out.

[disney obsessed]

How are you?

[Katzateer]

How are you?

Thanks for asking! I am finding out I can't get much information by phone. Going to try to GO to some agencies tomorrow.

Trying to hang onto my sanity and not lose my patience.

He is eating well, not sleeping much and to talk to him, he doesn't seem like he has gone through hell. But he looks like a walking skeleton and is very shakey on his legs.

This will be his 4 th night with us and luckily I don't go back to work until Wed. night. Friday will be his 1st full day alone in the house and I am a little worried. With a house full of animals with special needs I don't like the idea of him being alone all day. Guess I will be coming home for lunch for awhile. Worrying about him and the house and the pets will make days stressful.

[disney obsessed]

What is it that you are looking for? The state of Pa has county mh/mr ( mental health/mental retardation) agencies. I would start there if your looking for that type of help. If your going into agencies take him with you, and plenty of patience

Your being a very good sister.

[princessgirls]

Prayers for you!!

I hope that your brother can heal, get some medical attention for his depression, and start living again.

What an awful thing to have to live through.

Julie

[Katzateer]

After not hearing anything since he arrived in Indiana in late September- I finally found out a little information in the last couple of days. He is working with one of the agencies I recommended to him and they have him working in a store they own. I am sure the past few months have been very difficult and he has a long road ahead of him, but at least I know he's alive and hopefully will continue to improve his situation.

I have sent letters addressed to him and tryed to call the agencies I thought would help him, but they aren't allowed to give out any information. The letters were not returned so not sure if he got them or they just trash them.

But I am very relieved to know he is ok!

The only reason I even got the information is a friend recognized him when he was working, talked to him, and then let me know. She knew he was homeless and in the area, so did not ask him personnel questions. She just treated it like seeing an old friend and had a general conversation, which was the best way to handle it. He would have been mortified if he knew she knew he was having such a rough time.