Taking child out of school for a fun activity - what would you do?

[alphamommy]

DD10 is a very bright 5th grader. She does well on tests, homework, etc., and is in her school's advanced program.

She and I are both HUGE fans of "The Sound of Music." To celebrate the 45th anniversary of the movie's release, it is being shown in theaters for 2 nights only, October 19 and October 26. I bought tickets, and planned to surprise her, but because of a school-related conflict, I had to spoil the surprise.

I called the theater, and found out I could switch the tickets to the 10/26 performance. However, when I went to do that yesterday, I discovered that the 10/26 performance near us has been canceled. She doesn't know this yet - I know she'll be crushed.

I went to the website that sells the tickets, and discovered that the closest showing to where we live is 55 miles away. We would be making this trip during the heart of rush hour. It would be doable, but I fear that I'll sleep through the movie!

I tried to convince DH to let her miss that day of school. I have a doctor appointment in Ann Arbor earlier in the day, and she could go with me. He disapproves of this.

I know some of her friends have been kept out of school to go to premiers of "Harry Potter" movies, and for even worse reasons than that. I also know that this would be a bad precedence to set. However, I REALLY want to see this movie in the theater!

Any opinions?

[Ian]

This is always a hot topic, so a reminder out of the gate to try and constrain your feedback to constructive comments and refrain from any kind of personal attacks.

No brainer to me. Take her out. She's clearly a student for whom missing a day of school isn't going to be the end of the academic world (in 5th grade, is anything really?) and a day out with Mom doing something special that you both love will be a developmental and emotional bonding event that will carry a lot more weight for her in her life than learning the times tables again.

Go ... enjoy ... be guilt-free. Education is hugely important, but (in my opinion) somewhat over-emphasized. The notion that a 5th grader missing one day of school is going to be the end of the world is a tad hard for me to swallow.

How many of us have never played hookey from work to go do something we enjoy? How is this any different?

[Melanie]

Totally agree with Ian! As long as our kids are doing well in school, we're firm believers in missing a day or two throughout the school year doing something special with mom or dad. Those are the special memories they'll look back on as adults and cherish.

I think what you have planned sounds wonderful!

[buzznwoodysmom]

I'll "third" what the other's have said. I don't see anything wrong with taking her out for one day to do something so special with her mom. I would never let my kids miss school if they were failing or already behind in any subject, and I'd never have them miss during any kind of state testing, but any other time I would do it. Good luck.

[rkmemkc]

Totally agree! Memories are what life is made of. She will remember spending the day with you and that movie will always hold an even more special place in her heart because of it. No guilt...live life!!

[Strmchsr]

I usually fall in the "don't take out of school" camp when it's a multiple day thing, but for 1 day it's not a big deal. Go and enjoy yourselves.

[IrishMickey]

Enjoy the movie, I still remember watching this movie on the Big Screen when I was little. What a great day for both of you. Cherish the time when they are young, it only happens once and if you blink you will miss it, a friend told me this when my first child was born it is the best advice ever! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

[mitchsfan]

As a teacher - I say Take her. The lessons she will miss will be picked by her very quickly. The memories of the day will last a lifetime!!!

For the record, I pulled my son (and wife) out of school the day of the Phillies' World Series parade in 2008. He still talks about that. And I plan on doing it again this year

[AgentP]

I think you should take her. Growing up, I was always allowed one day off a year that I could spend with my Mom. I remember these days so clearly, they were a great bonding time.

[jmj18]

My vote would be take her out.

My daughter( also a 5th grader) is also a very good student and we have taken her out for a week (to visit Disney) several times since she started school. I think 1 day would be fine....as long as she makes up the work.

Have a great time!

[MNNHFLTX]

Oh my goodness, yes--taking her out of school for this one very special event is not setting a precedent or encouraging her to skip school in the future. As long as she's doing well in school and is not habitually absent, I cannot see the harm at all. And what special memories the two of you will make!

[cer]

"Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow...."

I say go and don't give it another thought.....

What a great memory you will share.

[White Rose]

My parents did this, albeit rarely, but they did. In fact, my first trip to WDW was when I was in fifth grade and in October and they took me out for ten days!

I say, if she's doing well and is good, behavior wise, go for it. The memories, as the other posters have said, will certainly outweigh the one lost day of school work. Both of you will treasure this memory and you'll also go down as the coolest mom in history!...At least, for a little while.

[CleveSJM]

You know your child best. Sounds like she could easily miss the time and pick up on the work.

The special event will do more for her than an average day in school.

We took our eldest daughter out of grade school for special events all the time. She ended up being validictorian of her grade school and high school and earned a sweet scholarship to a great university. She credits the diversity she experienced early on with challenging her to achieve beyond everyday classwork.

Have a great time!!!

[ElenitaB]

As she's in fifth grade, I say take her without blinking twice. Once they reach high school, it's more difficult to do so (at least in my DS' school... as tempting as it may be, I wouldn't dare think of taking him out).

Go and enjoy!

[JROriole8Fan]

I agree taking a child out of school if they are doing well, we did so many times. However, as a DH, it is not wise to take your personal disagreement to INTERCOT to seek others opinions, especially to "support your position". As a "spouse", finding out this happened would simply make me dig my heels in further. You shouldn't take family disputes to others to resolve, they are best kept in house.

[Ian]

For the record, I pulled my son (and wife) out of school the day of the Phillies' World Series parade in 2008. He still talks about that. And I plan on doing it again this year

Yeah, man! I was there in '08, too, and fully expect to be there again this year.

GO PHILS!!!*

*this off topic trip has been brought to you buy The Locker Room forum.

[Dznygrl79]

Do it! I really don't think its a problem family time is important and precious. Have fun!

[alphamommy]

Thanks for all the opinions!

For the record, I didn't bring this question here to settle something between DH and I. I was just wondering what other parents thought of doing something like this.

Now. To work on DH some more...

[princessgirls]

Take her and make some memories!!!
No Brainer. She'll always remember you taking her out of school and enjoying a special event together.

On a side note... if it makes you feel any better...

I WON A CAR...And we have to go Claim it Next Wednesday. I am taking both of my kids out of school to enjoy the moment. It's a SPECIAL DAY, and they will always remember MOM winning the car!
So that being said, sometimes making memories with our children is better than being in school when special events pop up.
I have to pull them for my Sister's wedding too. It's on a Friday.

Julie