Question for parents of young atheletes

[alphamommy]

Our DD8 has wanted to play hockey since she could talk. She started skating at age 4, and has played on a team for over a year.

She loves skating, she loves the games, but we're having trouble convincing her that she needs to practice some skills off the ice. She's not great at puck handling, which she can work on with her stick and a ball at home. However, whenever she is bored and we suggest this as an activity, she gets all upset.

What can we do to encourage her to practice? I don't want to stop her from playing, and I don't want to harp on the need to practice until she hates hockey. I've thought about making it something she has to do every day for a period of time (like reading, homework, etc.), but I don't know if that's the best approach.

Neither DH or I played sports as kids, so I'm not sure how to handle this.

Thanks!

[Strmchsr]

Exactly what you said is usually the best answer. Make it like homework where you practice a certain amount each day. DS8 just earned his black belt in taekwondo. He's not naturally athletic, but we helped him practice for 20-25 min every single day.

The best thing you can do is 1.) Not obsess. She's only 8. She'll decide on her own soon enough if she really wants to do this. If so, remind her she needs to get better. 2.) Find her some role models, like the USA Women's Hockey Team and remind her that the women who play on that team only get to because they work harder than anyone else not because they are necessarily naturally talented (though that's part of it, too). 3.) Do it with her. I think this is most important. DS hated being "sent off" to practice but when I would work with him it was enjoyable for both of us. If you don't know enough to help you can at least be there to encourage her.

[disneydeb]

Maybe start by giving a mall reward for 15 minutes of practice each day for a week , then increase by five minute intervals .
Also, let her write or e-mail one of her favorite hockey players about the imortance of off-ice practice.

[MNNHFLTX]

Until she shows some interest in extra practice time, I wouldn't push it. At her age, the appeal of hockey is probably more about having fun skating around on the ice with her teammates than it is about the competition. Over the next few years as the kids mature there will be natural pressures to improve performance (by other kids and by the coaches) and if she is still truly interested in the sport it will become more of an incentive to put in extra practice time. When that does happen, I agree that it is vital for parents to participate in some way. My son was always more eager to go out and throw his baseball back and forth with his dad than if he was just using his pitch-back.

[LittleSpirit02]

I agree with the poster above me, at age 8 I wouldn't push it. If she's enjoying going to practice, going to games and has a positive attitude about it - I would leave it there. As she gets older, she'll be able to see that if she wants to remain at a high level, she'll need to practice. Otherwise, if she chooses to do it recreationally, that's fine and she'll still love doing it.

[Katzateer]

Kids that get very active in sports will have times they really don't want to practice. My daughter has been a gymnast for 8 years and she has had times where she doesn't want to go to practice or do anything at home that will help her skills.

My rule has always been-we talk about it at the beginning of the season. If she signs up for another year-she is competed for that year. She has to go to the practices. She does very little with the sport during her off time as she has gotten older which is sometimes frustrating since running or stretching or practicing outside of her gym time would be great.

I try to think of little things to do for her when she puts extra effort into getting a new skill. It is normally something I would have gotten for her anyway or we would have done, but I offer an incentive to get her motivated.

Now I don't have to worry about trying to get her to do extra things since she is in the gym 18 hours a week and doing ballet and dance 5 hours a week.

She still complains about going (especially Saturday mornings at 9am when they do an hour of cardio) but she says once she gets to the gym she loves it and is happy.

Good luck trying to find a balance-sometimes when kids complain it is hard to decide what they really want. You don't want to force them to do something they won't be happy with but you do want them to give their all.

[pink]

I don't like the practice idea. I did competitive dancing as a kid, 12 hours a week of practice and did competitions on weekends. After I got home the last thing I wanted to do was dance. I loved it but not for more than 12 hours a week. However, my mom forced me to practice all the time and never let me have any down time. From this it made me hate something that I used to love. Let your daughter enjoy her skating time and don't pressure her to be pefect, she's only eight years old. If she wants to practice more and get better than she will on her own time when she gets a little older. You said it youself, if you push her it may make her resent it like I did.

[c&d]

Has the coached asked that they practice their skills off the ice. If not, I wouldn't have her practice. Also if she's getting that upset about practicing she will lose her interest in the sport.

Having been a competitive athlete and college coach there seems to be no faster way for a kid to lose interest than to force them to do the sport. Just my two cents.

[Boojum]

Our oldest DD played softball for many years. In her early playing days, she had the habits of slopping her way through practices and not wanting to work on skills independently.

Well, we didn't push the issue. She figured out very quickly that unless she gave the game some effort, the coaches wouldn't play her as often, AND (most importantly to her!) other girls played better than she did and got more exciting field positions.

She straightened up and flew right.