Tips on travel with Extended Family?

[Allysmom]

My inlaws are taking the family to Disney in April of 2008. Right now we're looking at 3 rooms (MIL and FIL in one, DH DD and me in another, and SIL BIL and two nephews in the 3rd). Any "tips" on survival when traveling with extended family like this? How do we get along, not offend, and still make it "our" vacation, too?

P.S. DH and I are very well acquainted with all the parks, resorts, etc, so everyone is relying on us to make the plans. In laws are paying for everything.

[Touchdown]

Do not attempt to do everything together, youll spend way too much time argueing on what to do. Instead, schedule at least one major event per day for everyone to go to (like dinner or a night show) and other then those have everyone have cell phones and keep everyone realitivly informed where you are so if you want to join up midday you can.

[DVC2004]

DON'T do everything together. No matter how much anyone else insists. The key is doing some things together and some things apart. We took my sister and her family a few years ago. She insisted we plan everything together- park touring, dining, even minigolf. Everyone got on eachothers nerves the first day. Even though we were the "experts" and she wanted to follow us, she quickly changed her mind after we got there. Make sure you make time each day to do something aside from the group.
Maybe get to a park, separate and meet up in a few hours. Or take a break to go back and swim. It can be lots of fun, too! I don't mean to make it sound terrible.

[mamacatnv]

We did WDW for the Turn of the Century - there were 36 of us.

Recently we have had in-laws join us on our trips.

My best advice is to: Plan together things and not together things. Everyone has a different pace, vacation style and likes/dislikes. By having some agreed upon activities and agreed upon separation then you get a little bit of everything and all members of the party are included.

Example: We would have breakfast together and then maybe head to a park - Grammie & Grandpa have no desire to go on the rides, they want to do more shows and parades. We separate with an agreed upon time & place to hook back up for dinner and fireworks. We ride, Grammie & Grandpa catch a show or head back to hotel to catch a nap.

With my BIL & SIL we did the same thing although due to their younger age we did more things together but we still had separate time.

[AuntDJ]

Our group was Me, Mom, Dad, Brother, nephew (9); 2 nieces (8;5) and best friend. I am the Disney "expert" ( I think that is way exagerrating myself but...)

Since I kinda knew what I was doing, I put together a plan. It was very loose and only included ideas; with the exception of ADR's. I also made sure everyone knew the ADR's were scheduled but if we didn't make it, it wasn't the end of the world (with the exception of the ones, that required a deposit).

Then, before we went to bed, I told everyone what time I was getting up and where I was going, if they decided to sleep in, then they could meet us later. I think that sounds harsh, as I wasn't a drill sargent but I wanted to get to the parks early. By the end of the trip everyone was agreeing that I did seem to know what I was doing and getting to the park early is the way to get more done.

We had every intention of splitting up, but the days flew by and we never did. We took things at an easy pace and if someone wanted to stop we did. I did notice that we did not seem to get as much done as a group as I did when just one kid and myself go. I think that is because we always seemed to be stopping for the bathroom or a drink...none of us needed these things at the same time! We still accomplished just about everything we wanted, we just didn't take the midday break (which being March instead of June, we didn't really need it).

Most of all, remember it IS vacation and you should enjoy it also!

DJ

[magicman]

I went with my extended family last year (23) & had a great time.

We would meet for lunch every day, then we'd ride a few rides/see shows together that were to everyone's liking (POTC, Philharmagic, Soarin, Beauty & the Beast, Kili Safaris, etc.) & then go our seperate ways. This gave us a morning block of time & an evening block of time to 'freelance'.

Interestingly, after we would go our seperate ways in the evening, we would bump into small sub-groups & join together as the evening wore on. Many times by the end of the day we'd have the whole tribe back together at the fireworks (unplanned).

[RockChalkKimball]

We are going in Jan. 08 with almost the same group that you have. We have done this once before and did most things together at the beginning because my family was the only ones that had been there. Once everyone got the feel of the place, they started to venture out on their own. Last time, I pretty much planned everything. This time, I am encouraging the rest of the family to help in the planning by choosing dining and the plan of attack to see everything they want to see. 3 of our 4 kids are teenagers so we are excited about having some grown-up time without the kids and they are looking forward to the freedom.

[Bruegge]

Someone has to be In charge...

My last trip in 2003 everyone had an idea and we spent too much time pointing and talking about who, what and where we should go, shop, eat, and ride... painful in park time wasted.

The disney "Guru" should set up a "plan of attack" and then you guys should "divide and conquer" by the age, speed and thrill seeker formula.

You guys DO know the age, speed, thirll seeker formula right??


Scott

[thejens]

Last year I went with part of my family who tend to be happy following. As the Disney guru, I gave them an itinerary and they were content to follow it. We are very compatible and had a blast. This year I am travelling with family who may be more independent or have different preferences. So I have made a detailed itinerary, all ADRs, etc. and given to them. I tried to add helpful hints like "while we are on TOT you may want to take the little ones for a walk down the street or snack at ..." etc. We discussed how I would be up at the parks early and following my plan of attack closely. I said I would love them to join, but was totally okay if they diverged. We agreed to meet for meals as reserved and to take any time we wanted for pool breaks etc. as needed. I think advance communication is essential. I basically apologize in advance for being a bit rigid in my approach, but do not expect them to follow my lead. I'll let you know how it goes!

[xipetotec]

My inlaws are taking the family to Disney in April of 2008. Right now we're looking at 3 rooms (MIL and FIL in one, DH DD and me in another, and SIL BIL and two nephews in the 3rd). Any "tips" on survival when traveling with extended family like this? How do we get along, not offend, and still make it "our" vacation, too?

P.S. DH and I are very well acquainted with all the parks, resorts, etc, so everyone is relying on us to make the plans. In laws are paying for everything.

Ally's Mom, this is our specialty!!!

We've done three trips like this now. My mother likes to bring down the kids and grand kids with her ( not to mention her sister with her kids and my cousin and HER kids ). We're typically a gang of between 11-16 people.

One cardinal rule is don't try to do *everything* together. I think to keep with the family feel, you need to get together for certain events. Maybe dinners in the evening. Certain attractions you all want to do together. But be prepared to split up to let people do what they want. Not everyone is a marathon theme park goer, and not everyone wants to just lounge by the pool. You know what I mean?

Get a feel for your group and what everyone wants to do and when. And get that feel early!! If you want to book certain meals or events, you'll want to do it early, especially if you're a big group.

This is also a good opportunity to get some alone time. Having extended family means kids can be left with other relatives as everyone can seperate into mixed and matched groups.

And if tensions do rise ( and I'm not saying they never did with us ). Just stop, relax and remember you're in the happiest place on earth!

[Donald A]

8 or 9 of us are going in January 2008 and staying in a couple 2-bedrooms at a DVC resort. This is something I wanted to do for our family and all parents and the DVC makes it easier to do. Though it would be tempting, I think people on here seem right to not do everything together. We plan on doing table service reservations everynight together but to leave the counter service and most activities to do as everyone pleases. I figure if one of my brothers (2 will probably go) or parents have the same thing in mind to do we will do it together. Otherwise my wife and I will hang out with whoever wants to.