Help with older mom

Hi folks! I 'm not sure if this is the best place for this question or not.

I'm helping my good friend plan her first Disney vacation. She's had a tough year with her mom being diagnosed with dementia and moving her into their home. Now the trip she's always dreamed of, she and her DH taking their 2 DDs- 5 and 3 to Disney World, gets more complicated. Her mom will be going with them. She is still very able bodied, but she is very slow getting ready in the mornings. So my friends has thought about her family getting up and going to the parks, then she would go back to the resort after a few hours to get her mom and bring her to the parks to join them. ( Her mom would have a tough time getting around a place she was unfamiliar with by herself.) To me it sounds like my friend will be missing out on a lot of time with her kids doing this.

Does anyone know if a service in Orlando, sort of like a mother's helper, but could help her mother? Not nursing care, just some help getting around and to the right places. I think paying a helper would be a good investment.

By the way, my friend loves her mother very much and would do anything for her. It just makes things a little more complicated and we're trying to think of a way that my friend can enjoy both her kids and her mom.

Dementia has a lot of variability and can change very fast. The risks you take with Alzheimer's and dementia is that if alone they can wonder or get into trouble... sometimes serious trouble.
When you take them out of their environment they get very very confused and unfortunately sometimes they don't bounce back especially if their home environment has changed very recently. Another thing is their thinking is very black and white. Animatronics can seem real so they may act like a very frightened child only they can be more difficult to manage. Change can often elicit a great deal of anxiety. Typically mid-morning to mid-day is best. I've known some with dementia to describe that when they wake up they don't remember anything, like the slate has been wiped clean.
Unfamiliar faces and an unfamiliar environment will be tough on the person.
Evenings and early mornings are often the most difficult times. Late evenings they can be very restless and irritable b/c they are confused and tired. You may have heard of the term sun downing b/c they get agitated at about sun down.
There are centers that offer care in the area and I imagine that private care may be available and I would imagine it could run from 10 (if you're lucky but doubtful) to over 20 per hour. You do want someone who is bonded. Most have a minimum of 4 hours or a rising service (to get them up and bathed usually 90 min. ) but require a minimum of days.
I know I don't sound encouraging but would rather have your friend know the worse and have better than underestimate
I did find an elderly care service that has a site that lists individuals looking for work. I considered it for my dad who has parkinson's but he is now too fragile to travel.
There was another thread with suggestions for PCA's or CNA's in the area...
:thumbsup:

My parents were "snowbirds" for many years- staying in an RV during the winter months at various sites in FL. As my Mom's Alzheimer's progressed, she needed more and more care, and my Dad needed breaks just to do the shopping and cleaning, etc. I found an Adult Day Care in the Orlando area that accepted "snowbirds" on a part-time basis. Although I don't remember the name (it's been a few years), I do remember that I found them through the Alzheimer's Association. I had called our local chapter, and they gave me the number for the Orlando area chapter. I called down there, and they gave me lots of advice- and referrals to various centers and other resources. I suggest calling them.

As for your friend's idea of getting her family up and off to the parks early- I agree. However, I recommend sending the kids and her DH off together and having your friend stay behind to help her Mom. If her Mom should wake up and find herself alone in a strange place, she might be very frightened and wander away. This is especially true with Alzheimer's patients- they wander to try to find Mom and Dad and their home (or someplace that at least looks familiar).

As for in the parks, I suggest renting a wheelchair if she thinks her Mom will be willing to sit in one. This will give her Mom a "safe/secure" area around her, plus she'll be less likely to wander off. Try a test-run at a local Mall- how does her Mom react in crowds? (with loud noises, unfamiliar settings, etc) Just don't rent an electric one!

How soon are they going? Dementia (especially Alzheimer's) doesn't progress smoothly and systematically, so it's difficult to guess what her Mom will be capable of doing in 3 months, 6 months, etc. Your friend (and her family) will need to be very flexible in coping with her Mom's abilities and disabilities over time. If her trip is not for quite a while, she should have a back-up plan in case she is not able to take her Mom with them to WDW. For instance, investigate staying with another family member or even finding which local facilites have short term placements (frequently called respite care).

Good luck! Feel free to pm me if your friend has questions.