Red Randal
05-01-2006, 07:04 PM
Over the last few months I've been writing a series of reviews for various Walt Disney World attractions. I include both detailed descriptions and sarcastic comments and I try to make them informative for those who have never been on the ride and want to know what to expect and entertaining for those Disney veterans who are reading my comments.
I recently wrote a review for Maelstrom that I decided to post here to get some comments and provide a little entertainment for the fine folks of Intercot. If it proves popular, I'll try to post a new one every week.
The final rating is out of five possible stars. The information about the ride needs to be highlighted to be viewed, thus allowing those who wish to remain unspoiled to remain so.
Mods: Feel free to pop this somewhere else if you think it belongs in another board.
Maelstrom
Intro: Norway joined Epcot’s World Showcase in the summer of 1988 and offered numerous options for guests, many of which are now overlooked. Maelstrom was originally considered something of a thrill ride but it is really nothing of the sort. In addition to the boat ride, the pavilion hosts an ambitious buffet, a counter service bakery, a recreation of an old Stave church, and a Viking ship themed play area for children. However, the main attraction remains the “high seas adventure” the Maelstrom.
Queue: Inside of the ride building, nestled near the entrance to the Norway pavilion, is a large room where a winding queue is set up leading to the dock on the other side of the room from the entrance. On the wall behind the dock is a large mural depicting scenes from Norway’s past and present ranging from Nordic Vikings to the modern day shipping industries of the country.
Trivia: One of the Vikings on the mural is wearing Mickey Mouse ears.
Ride: Our boat leaves the dock and enters some dark seas. We are lifted up a lift hill and informed that we are neither the first nor the last people to pass through the waters of Norway. Once we reach the top of the hill, we pass by a scene of Norway from long ago. The people of Norway have always loved the sea; the mysterious voice of our narrator informs us. This is evidenced by the Viking ships sailing in the distance. Others, he goes on to inform us, think of Norway as “a land of forests and mystery where trolls still travel the water’s edge.” Apparently they are correct because some trolls happen to be standing around at that very moment. They accuse us of being invaders to their country. The darn narrator is happy to show us around the country until the trolls stop by, and then he is nowhere to be found. C’mon buddy, tell them we’re not invaders! The trolls cast a spell on us to make us disappear. The trolls seem to be unable to fully harness their troll powers because, instead of disappearing, our boat just turns around and starts moving backwards. I could see how they could get the spell for “disappear” confused with “turn around backwards.” It happens to me all the time.
Anyway, the boat keeps moving through the mysterious Norwegian Sea backwards. We pass by some polar bears. Evidently there are polar bears in Norway. I don’t necessarily doubt the validity of this fact; it’s just that the trolls may have tried to cast their disappearing spell again only this time confused it with the spell for “make polar bears appear.” We start moving swiftly backwards through the wilderness and towards…a drop! Just when we think we are about to drop backwards down a hill we discover that it is only a FAKEOUT. The boat returns to traveling in the normal direction, proving that the trolls are even dumber than they look because even their “backwards” spell has now failed.
We keep moving along for a moment, until we go down an actual waterfall this time. It is a really tame drop, but considering most of Disney’s other boat rides past animatronic scenes do not contain drops, it is a pleasant little surprise. It is probably because the other boat rides don’t have trolls. We get dropped into the North Sea where a storm seems to be brewing. The narrator returns to tell us that the spirit of Norway has always been adventure. I thought the spirit of Norway had something to do with the sea and mysterious troll filled forests. We get through the storm and dock in a small fishing village.
The ride, it seems, is over. Oddly, however, we are made to stand around in the small fishing village until enough boats arrive to allow the opening of a set of doors to a theater. Okay, I’m very confused now. The ride is billed as a “High Seas Norwegian Adventure” not a “High Seas Norwegian Adventure and Filmstrip.” Apparently the folks at Disney thought that people would not come en masse for a movie on Norway so they, instead, elected to bribe people with a boat ride and then kidnap them for the film.
The theater doors open and, if you want, you can sneak out the doors on the other side of theater and miss out on the movie. Because I love you guys, I will allow myself to be blackmailed into watching the film. A little kid stands around and looks at an old Viking ship as a narrator babbles about the spirit of Norway some more. It is not the same narrator as in the ride. I would have had a lot more respect for them if they had the same guy come on and be all “hey, seems like you survived the trolls, good for you…” Anyway, the Vikings sail across the ocean while a blacksmith works on an axe of some kind. I have no clue what is going on, this is so bizarre. The Vikings encounter a storm as a helicopter flies overhead. I continue to stare at the screen, baffled. The helicopter lands, the Vikings continue on their way, and then some fire shoots out of somewhere. What in heaven’s name is happening? The kid returns and stares at the Viking ship with the same amount of awe that I am staring at this movie with. The narrator tells us that the spirit of Norway is timelessness. Okay, so we’ve got the sea, the forest, adventure, and timelessness on the list of things the spirit of Norway is.
The scene shifts to a typical fishing village, much like the one we were kidnapped in earlier. A guy starts skiing, presumably in an attempt to promote ESPN’s X-Games. Then the scene switches to a parade which is the narrator’s cue to inform us that the spirit lives in the people. I am assuming this is the spirit of timelessness, although it could probably be adventure also. Soft piano music plays as a little kid waves a Norwegian flag and then some people ride by on a boat. Maybe they have the embodiment of the spirit of the sea. More people do some completely unrelated things like dance ballet and sleep on a lawn chair as the music continues. The five minute travelogue finally comes to an end and we are released to return to World Showcase.
Thoughts: Maelstrom is, without a doubt, one of the strangest experiences at Walt Disney World. It is almost like, when planning the pavilion, they could not decide if they wanted a thrill ride, a movie, or a slow ride with audio-animatronics (like El Rio Del Tiempo) and then just decided to do a little bit of everything.
As far as the boat ride is concerned, Maelstrom is more or less mediocre. It is, by no means, a bad way to get out of the hot Florida sun and see a little bit of Norway in the process. As a thrill ride, it is nothing, although most of it takes place in the dark and it is likely to scare the bejeezus out of little kids. The movie, I think, tries a little too hard to be artsy and uses quick cuts and juxtaposition ineffectively, resulting in the disorientation and general confusion of the viewer. When you put the two together the result is one of the strangest experiences you could undergo at Walt Disney World. I can not bring myself to go much above ** for it, but if you have some extra time it might be worth it for the sheer bizarreness of the whole experience. Be forewarned that hordes of people exit the “Wonders of China” nearby and head right to Norway, so the lines can really fluctuate from five to fifty-five minute waits. Don’t bother trying to ride it when the line gets exceptionally long.
Overall Rating: ** Ľ
Check out my website for an archive of Walt Disney World ride reviews.
I recently wrote a review for Maelstrom that I decided to post here to get some comments and provide a little entertainment for the fine folks of Intercot. If it proves popular, I'll try to post a new one every week.
The final rating is out of five possible stars. The information about the ride needs to be highlighted to be viewed, thus allowing those who wish to remain unspoiled to remain so.
Mods: Feel free to pop this somewhere else if you think it belongs in another board.
Maelstrom
Intro: Norway joined Epcot’s World Showcase in the summer of 1988 and offered numerous options for guests, many of which are now overlooked. Maelstrom was originally considered something of a thrill ride but it is really nothing of the sort. In addition to the boat ride, the pavilion hosts an ambitious buffet, a counter service bakery, a recreation of an old Stave church, and a Viking ship themed play area for children. However, the main attraction remains the “high seas adventure” the Maelstrom.
Queue: Inside of the ride building, nestled near the entrance to the Norway pavilion, is a large room where a winding queue is set up leading to the dock on the other side of the room from the entrance. On the wall behind the dock is a large mural depicting scenes from Norway’s past and present ranging from Nordic Vikings to the modern day shipping industries of the country.
Trivia: One of the Vikings on the mural is wearing Mickey Mouse ears.
Ride: Our boat leaves the dock and enters some dark seas. We are lifted up a lift hill and informed that we are neither the first nor the last people to pass through the waters of Norway. Once we reach the top of the hill, we pass by a scene of Norway from long ago. The people of Norway have always loved the sea; the mysterious voice of our narrator informs us. This is evidenced by the Viking ships sailing in the distance. Others, he goes on to inform us, think of Norway as “a land of forests and mystery where trolls still travel the water’s edge.” Apparently they are correct because some trolls happen to be standing around at that very moment. They accuse us of being invaders to their country. The darn narrator is happy to show us around the country until the trolls stop by, and then he is nowhere to be found. C’mon buddy, tell them we’re not invaders! The trolls cast a spell on us to make us disappear. The trolls seem to be unable to fully harness their troll powers because, instead of disappearing, our boat just turns around and starts moving backwards. I could see how they could get the spell for “disappear” confused with “turn around backwards.” It happens to me all the time.
Anyway, the boat keeps moving through the mysterious Norwegian Sea backwards. We pass by some polar bears. Evidently there are polar bears in Norway. I don’t necessarily doubt the validity of this fact; it’s just that the trolls may have tried to cast their disappearing spell again only this time confused it with the spell for “make polar bears appear.” We start moving swiftly backwards through the wilderness and towards…a drop! Just when we think we are about to drop backwards down a hill we discover that it is only a FAKEOUT. The boat returns to traveling in the normal direction, proving that the trolls are even dumber than they look because even their “backwards” spell has now failed.
We keep moving along for a moment, until we go down an actual waterfall this time. It is a really tame drop, but considering most of Disney’s other boat rides past animatronic scenes do not contain drops, it is a pleasant little surprise. It is probably because the other boat rides don’t have trolls. We get dropped into the North Sea where a storm seems to be brewing. The narrator returns to tell us that the spirit of Norway has always been adventure. I thought the spirit of Norway had something to do with the sea and mysterious troll filled forests. We get through the storm and dock in a small fishing village.
The ride, it seems, is over. Oddly, however, we are made to stand around in the small fishing village until enough boats arrive to allow the opening of a set of doors to a theater. Okay, I’m very confused now. The ride is billed as a “High Seas Norwegian Adventure” not a “High Seas Norwegian Adventure and Filmstrip.” Apparently the folks at Disney thought that people would not come en masse for a movie on Norway so they, instead, elected to bribe people with a boat ride and then kidnap them for the film.
The theater doors open and, if you want, you can sneak out the doors on the other side of theater and miss out on the movie. Because I love you guys, I will allow myself to be blackmailed into watching the film. A little kid stands around and looks at an old Viking ship as a narrator babbles about the spirit of Norway some more. It is not the same narrator as in the ride. I would have had a lot more respect for them if they had the same guy come on and be all “hey, seems like you survived the trolls, good for you…” Anyway, the Vikings sail across the ocean while a blacksmith works on an axe of some kind. I have no clue what is going on, this is so bizarre. The Vikings encounter a storm as a helicopter flies overhead. I continue to stare at the screen, baffled. The helicopter lands, the Vikings continue on their way, and then some fire shoots out of somewhere. What in heaven’s name is happening? The kid returns and stares at the Viking ship with the same amount of awe that I am staring at this movie with. The narrator tells us that the spirit of Norway is timelessness. Okay, so we’ve got the sea, the forest, adventure, and timelessness on the list of things the spirit of Norway is.
The scene shifts to a typical fishing village, much like the one we were kidnapped in earlier. A guy starts skiing, presumably in an attempt to promote ESPN’s X-Games. Then the scene switches to a parade which is the narrator’s cue to inform us that the spirit lives in the people. I am assuming this is the spirit of timelessness, although it could probably be adventure also. Soft piano music plays as a little kid waves a Norwegian flag and then some people ride by on a boat. Maybe they have the embodiment of the spirit of the sea. More people do some completely unrelated things like dance ballet and sleep on a lawn chair as the music continues. The five minute travelogue finally comes to an end and we are released to return to World Showcase.
Thoughts: Maelstrom is, without a doubt, one of the strangest experiences at Walt Disney World. It is almost like, when planning the pavilion, they could not decide if they wanted a thrill ride, a movie, or a slow ride with audio-animatronics (like El Rio Del Tiempo) and then just decided to do a little bit of everything.
As far as the boat ride is concerned, Maelstrom is more or less mediocre. It is, by no means, a bad way to get out of the hot Florida sun and see a little bit of Norway in the process. As a thrill ride, it is nothing, although most of it takes place in the dark and it is likely to scare the bejeezus out of little kids. The movie, I think, tries a little too hard to be artsy and uses quick cuts and juxtaposition ineffectively, resulting in the disorientation and general confusion of the viewer. When you put the two together the result is one of the strangest experiences you could undergo at Walt Disney World. I can not bring myself to go much above ** for it, but if you have some extra time it might be worth it for the sheer bizarreness of the whole experience. Be forewarned that hordes of people exit the “Wonders of China” nearby and head right to Norway, so the lines can really fluctuate from five to fifty-five minute waits. Don’t bother trying to ride it when the line gets exceptionally long.
Overall Rating: ** Ľ
Check out my website for an archive of Walt Disney World ride reviews.