Divorce

[conan617]

Is anyone here going through or recently been divorced? I was blindsided a few months ago and next month will be final. My two little ones DS age 12 and DD age 9 seem to be managing the transition well.

Anyone looking at my post history will see quite a gap. My soon to be ex really got on me about my obsession and actually called me creepy for spending so much time planning our vacation and reading and interacting here. I've come back and wish I hadn't been gone so long.

Just wondering if anyone used any "magic" to get them through the tough times.

[Itchy]

I got divorced in 2004 after 26 yrs of marriage to my now ex-wife. I must say it was a suprise when she wanted the divorce. My daughters were 18 and 21 and both took it hard at first.

Well to make a long story short, the first thing I did after we sold the house ( before the divorce ) was to take my kids to WDW to releive the stress. It did help a lot. I do not think you are creepy to do what you enjoy doing. His loss is your gain.

As said in a song. " Don't worry be happy ".

Hope this helped....:mickey:

[laprana]

I'm not divorced, but a little over a year ago was blindsided when my DBF of almost 13 years told me out of nowhere that he was leaving. Coincidentally, he used my "obsession" with Disney World and planning trips as one of the several ridiculous reasons he wanted out (despite the fact that he went on, and helped plan, all of those trips). Getting through that breakup was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but now that I'm on the other side of it, I can look back and realize that I'm better off and much, much stronger now that I was when I was with him. Much happier, too! :thumbsup:

I don't have any "magic" to offer you...just know that it DOES get better. I made it through thanks mostly to the love and support I received from my family, a few very good friends, and even some of my fellow Intercotees. The best advice I can give is to let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling at any given moment. If you're feeling sad, then allow yourself to feel sad. If you're feeling angry, then allow yourself to feel angry. Pushing those feelings down and not acknowledging them only prolongs the process and makes it even harder. It might not seem like it now, but you will get through it and come out better in the end. It'll be hard (trust me, I know!), but you can get through this.

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk or even just vent! Hang in there!! :hug:

[conan617]

Well to make a long story short, the first thing I did after we sold the house ( before the divorce ) was to take my kids to WDW to releive the stress. It did help a lot. I do not think you are creepy to do what you enjoy doing. His loss is your gain.

Probably should have said I was a guy :blush:. I am hoping to get the funds together and get the kids back to WDW in Sept/Oct '14. They'll get really busy with High/Middle school activities after that.
I can't understand why she would have thought I was "creepy" for doing something I love. I spent months planning the perfect vacation for my family. Oh well - I love your quote though - it helped for sure "Her loss is my gain."

[conan617]

"I don't have any "magic" to offer you...just know that it DOES get better. I made it through thanks mostly to the love and support I received from my family, a few very good friends, and even some of my fellow Intercotees. The best advice I can give is to let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling at any given moment. If you're feeling sad, then allow yourself to feel sad. If you're feeling angry, then allow yourself to feel angry. Pushing those feelings down and not acknowledging them only prolongs the process and makes it even harder. It might not seem like it now, but you will get through it and come out better in the end. It'll be hard (trust me, I know!), but you can get through this. "


Guess I am having trouble with the quotes -


This is pretty good "magic".

It's hard to feel what I need to feel somedays because of the kids. I can't feel anger or sadness when I have to be strong for them, but when I'm by myself, I can let it all go.
Thanks for caring!

[Beach Club Babe]

I have no advice to offer you regarding divorce as I have been married for 25 years, but I can say I am so sorry you have to go through this! I don't think you're creepy at all for wanting to make your family vacations magical. Keep doing what you're doing and don't have any guilt about it. I hope things only get better for you!

[Dawn,DeniseandDiane]

We watched our dear brother go through a divorce and it's devastating. He has 4 children. We can't give any advice on the matter, but we are sorry you are going through this too. Your not creepy in any way! What a wonderful thing to give your family a magical vacation. You must of made some wonderful Disney memories for your kids.
Be kind to yourself and don't lose your "magic".
The Disney magic has gotten us through some pretty tough things. Many wouldn't understand that. But, we don't care. We are happy being ourselves and are grateful to be believers in the "magic". We take care of our Mom 24/7 who has Parkinson's. It's been a tough, hard road. We get away for 10 days out of the year. The rest of the time, we have 3 hrs a week respite. When we get overwhelmed we talk Disney. Bring up memories and talk about new ones were gonna make. I know it's nothing like a divorce. However, there is loss and grief in both circumstances.
When we think of Disney, it lightens our spirit, and can lift ya up too.
Walt had no clue what a gift he gave the world. Or, how many lives he has touched.He certainly made our corner of this world better.

Here's a group hug from us! xxx

Dawn,Denise&Diane

[pdrlkr]

If you are creepy then so am I and a lot of others around here.:secret: At least we are in good company. I am very lucky my wife and I share the same feelings about Disney. But if anything did happen I would book a trip to WDW fist thing. Hang in there it will get better.

[PopPhan]

My divorce was just finalized a couple weeks ago....

I am dying for a trip to the magic, but do not know when this will be happening as I have to get my finances in order, pay alimony, and basically rebuild my home (replacing things that were removed as part of the divorce agreement)...

I guess the only positive is that we never had kids....

BTW - I am male and was the one who started the proceedings.

[conan617]

If you are creepy then so am I and a lot of others around here.:secret: At least we are in good company. I am very lucky my wife and I share the same feelings about Disney. But if anything did happen I would book a trip to WDW fist thing. Hang in there it will get better.

I guess I'm going to have to start calling myself creepy. :thumbsup: I was away from one of my passions for a year and now I realize that I need to be with people that share my passions.

[conan617]

My divorce was just finalized a couple weeks ago....

I am dying for a trip to the magic, but do not know when this will be happening as I have to get my finances in order, pay alimony, and basically rebuild my home (replacing things that were removed as part of the divorce agreement)...

I guess the only positive is that we never had kids....

BTW - I am male and was the one who started the proceedings.
I guess we are divorce brothers then. Looking forward - this is probably for the best. It doesn't always feel like it now, but the hurt and anger are starting to go away.

If you are creepy then so am I and a lot of others around here.:secret: At least we are in good company. I am very lucky my wife and I share the same feelings about Disney. But if anything did happen I would book a trip to WDW fist thing. Hang in there it will get better.
I wish I wouldn't have bought into her story. If something makes someone happy and you claim to love them, shouldn't you let them be happy and understanding. I'm back now and I won't be going away again.

We watched our dear brother go through a divorce and it's devastating. He has 4 children. We can't give any advice on the matter, but we are sorry you are going through this too. Your not creepy in any way! What a wonderful thing to give your family a magical vacation. You must of made some wonderful Disney memories for your kids.
Be kind to yourself and don't lose your "magic".
The Disney magic has gotten us through some pretty tough things. Many wouldn't understand that. But, we don't care. We are happy being ourselves and are grateful to be believers in the "magic". We take care of our Mom 24/7 who has Parkinson's. It's been a tough, hard road. We get away for 10 days out of the year. The rest of the time, we have 3 hrs a week respite. When we get overwhelmed we talk Disney. Bring up memories and talk about new ones were gonna make. I know it's nothing like a divorce. However, there is loss and grief in both circumstances.
When we think of Disney, it lightens our spirit, and can lift ya up too.
Walt had no clue what a gift he gave the world. Or, how many lives he has touched.He certainly made our corner of this world better.

Here's a group hug from us! xxx

Dawn,Denise&Diane

Thank you for the hugs - you don't realize you miss the attention until its gone. My Gramma is in the early stages of Parkinson's and still managing by herself. She was also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two months before we left for WDW last year. So I think she's on borrowed time. I went to visit her this weekend and she wasn't feeling up to visitors, but she did relay a message to me through my Mom cuz she heard about how I missed everyone here. "live your life how you want and do what makes you happy." I guess I need to listen to what the frail little 89 year ol' women says. Between the message my Mom passed on today and the love I've gotten here - I think I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it doesn't feel like it is going to be a train. I know I have a long way to go though...

[stephicakes]

Michael – so sorry you are going through this. :( I can’t give any advice on dealing with a divorce, but I can empathize with your situation in some ways as I was a single-parent for 9 years. Just keep the communication open with your kids and reassure them that they are very much loved and you will all get through this. One day at a time…

As far as being called “creepy”, then I guess we are all creepy! People lash out at things they don’t understand or are jealous of. We are normal people who pay our bills, abide by the law, and love our family – nothing creepy about that! I consider Disney (planning for, going to, talking about) a hobby like anything else. It’s no different than spending money on lavish fishing trips, rock-climbing adventures, or any other hobby or interest that takes you on trips. Some folks spend loads of money on sports equipment, remodeling old cars, or collecting antiques. No different. You just happen to enjoy websites with like-minded people that enjoy the same hobby as you. Nothing wrong with that, my friend. I feel that if it’s innocent fun, doesn’t take you away from your main responsibilities and priorities, and no one is getting hurt or breaking the law… then to each their own!!

Hope you find some Magic here again!

Welcome back :)

[conan617]

Hope you find some Magic here again!

Welcome back :)

I've found some wonderful magic already. The people here are so wonderful and caring and have welcomed me back with open arms.
Thanks for caring!
I'm not leaving again!:rocks:
(I'm over 100 post now too :cool:)

[SBETigg]

No advice, just wanted to say that I'm sorry and best wishes getting through a tough time.

[PinKy]

Welcome back!

Don't let someone else steal your sunshine! :mickey:

the best is yet to come!!

[conan617]

I started this thread almost two years ago now. I was surprised to see it pop back up so I thought I might give a small update in case anyone was interested.

I am now officially divorced - just about two years now. I re-bought my house and car from my ex so I was lucky, I guess, that I didn't have to move or find a new place to live.

I did, as promised, take my kids back to FL/WDW this past Sept. We spent 2 days at Universal, a day at Legoland, a day at Discovery Cove, and 8 days in WDW. It was a wonderful time and the three of us made some wonderful memories, rode and re-rode countless rides and attractions, ate LOTS of great food and treats, and just enjoyed being with each other. I probably should post my trip notes in the trip report forum :blush:.

When I wrote my original post, I was in a downward spiral. I was trying everything I could to try and steady my ship. In fact, I hesitated posting about my situation on here, thinking people don't come here to listen to someone's troubles. This is supposed to be a happy place. In desperation, I reached out and the best thing happened to me. People reached back and not only did they accept me, but people actually cared. People that I have never met in person actually cared. What a wonderful feeling that is to be caught in a storm and have stranger offer a hand.

My hesitation to post turned out to be unfounded and it was because of that original post that I met one of the most wonderful, caring, loving people that I have ever known. I will forever be grateful for the shelter offered during the rain.

Life is moving on. I am deep in the planning stages of our Sept. '15 WDW vacation and loving my time spent here, with all you wonderful, loving and creepy (see above) people:mickey:. Thank you to all.

[Melanie]

What a wonderful update!!!!

[PopPhan]

When I wrote my original post, I was in a downward spiral. I was trying everything I could to try and steady my ship. In fact, I hesitated posting about my situation on here, thinking people don't come here to listen to someone's troubles. This is supposed to be a happy place. In desperation, I reached out and the best thing happened to me. People reached back and not only did they accept me, but people actually cared. People that I have never met in person actually cared. What a wonderful feeling that is to be caught in a storm and have stranger offer a hand.

That is one of the things about this group [INTERCOT] that has impressed me since Day 1 -- the fact that not only are "we" (the Royal "We") deeply invested in our love of Disney, we are also deeply invested in our fellow INTERCOTees!! No other board that I have been involved with has had this feeling of family. There really are no strangers here.

As you, I have made one trip (solo) since my divorce and am in the final stages of preparing for a trip with my sister in April. Finally got her on board to make her first visit.

Keep moving forward! :thumbsup:

[sonamae80]

What a great update! I'm so happy to hear you made some wonderful memories with your kids at WDW! That's what it's all about, isn't it? And I'm happy to hear you're planning the next trip! For me, planning is almost therapeutic! Hope you have a wonderful trip! ;)

[VWL Mom]

What a positive update, glad things are working out for you.:mickey:

[NJGIRL]

Great update! So happy that you are in a better place now.

[faline]

Michael - Glad to know things are much better for you. Sounds like you had a wonderful trip with your kids!! We always love reading about Disney trips so, please do post a trip report.

[LVT]

I am also happy to hear you are doing fine.:mickey:

[Cinderelley]

It has been four years since my divorce, and I can tell you that it just keeps getting better. :D

[princessgirls]

So glad Conan that your life is moving in the right direction!
I'm glad you posted an update, and even happier that you shared your burden here. No judgement, only encouragement and support!

CheersTo your next chapter...:beer::beer:

Julie:mickey: