To invite or not to invite...?

[Lisa and Alan]

I was just wondering what anyone's experience has been in letting your child bring a friend with them to WDW. We are dvc members and annual pass holders. We have one child, 10 years old. What is the typical age that one would consider appropriate to bring a friend? Is she too young? If I thought it was a possibility, I would obviously ask the parents first. I am just wondering if 10 yrs is a good age or would we be better off waiting a couple years. Could I ask a parent to provide monies for airfare and souvenirs? What about meals? Or do you assume financial expenses your responsibility since you invited them as your guest? Any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated.

[DizneyRox]

If I ask, I foot the bill, that's just how I feel about it. We plan on letting our little one bring a friend and will be paying.

Others feel differently, and that's fine. I wouldn't be upset if someone asked me to pay for mine if they were invited somewhere.

[Strmchsr]

First off, I remember a year or so ago this topic came up and there were some really strong feelings about it. Let's hope this go round everyone keeps things nice and respectful in voicing their opinion.

What it boils down to is you know best. None of us on here can really advise you on this matter because it depends on the child and your financial situation. There are some 10 year olds I wouldn't hesitate to bring with me and I know some 16-17 year olds I wouldn't bring in a million years. So I think age has less to do with it and more the individual child.

If you're DVC members and AP holders I assume the "this is our family Disney vacation" isn't really an issue and you come enough that bringing a friend on one trip wouldn't be a big deal.

The financial issue is where some people feel so strongly. Others state emphatically that if you invite, you pay. I disagree with that. I think if you can afford to pay, great, but if you can't then talk to the parents of the child, let them know your child wants to invite theirs, but here is what you can and can't pay for. Just work out the expectations up front. If their parents say they can't afford it, no big deal.

So, this situation will be entirely different from person to person. You know what would work best for you.

[tundramom]

We have run the gamut....We took my niece when she was 8 and DD was 10, we paid (my sister and hubby would never have paid/budgeted for this -travel of any kind not on their priority list). Even though the girls got along great at the time, it was rough, both are only children, it is "our" time together and even though DD really wanted the company, she discovered she did not like "sharing" her time with mom and dad. And, our niece was kinda in the same place emotionally, she really wanted a lot of attention, and I ended up feeling like a pull toy. I should mention this was a 10 day trip (in retrospect, way too long for this type of experiment). Our next trip DD has a friend joining us for 9 days. DD is turning 18 on this trip and friend is 17 so they will be more on their own, we only requested that they dine with us nightly as our "check in" system.
When it comes to the "invite" we always asked parents prior to ever mentioning to kids. (We did ask DD's BF's parents around age 12 via note- they deferred saying they preferred to be present the first time she saw WDW -understandable- but she still hasn't made it and will graduate this year :() As DD has gotten older, we have couched invites as " We would welcome your daughter and are willing to provide accommodations (DVC members) but tickets, food, airfare would be your responsibility ( We just don't have an extra $1500 for this). We've always been very open about costs and ways to make it affordable but we also make it clear that we vacation a certain way (DDP, usually 8 nights, etc.) and as a result it is not the "cheapest" way to do Disney. Since we go yearly, we do take a more relaxed approach to WDW, but with a guest we always try to hit all the high points because we know they are not likely to return soon. Some of our best experiences have been where we have met up with other vacationing families for part of the stay! I think you need to honestly evaluate your vacationing style and expectations prior to committing to accommodating another person.

[Lisa and Alan]

Thank you for the great insights. We do go for 10 days, as well. I didn't think about it, but that is a good point that it would be a long trip for a testing of personalities and meshing of the girls for that long. I could see a battle for attention and alone time with mom and dad being a potential issue. I think we may consider waiting a couple more years. I would say that the age of the girls would be more of a consideration for us than the actual finances. I feel confident that when the time is right, we could work that out. Thank you, again, for all of your thoughts...

[BigRedDad]

For me, I would consider it for a shorter trip (4-days?). More than that, it would start to get testy. We could only have one child, so we are left with this dilemma. My hope is to find groups to go down with eventually, but most peoples schedules will not sync for that. The only time we have had it become an issue is with rides. She does not like the big rides yet so my DW and I have to ride separately. We can live with it though.

The good thing is DD has made friends when we are at the pool or at the play areas in the park. This lets her blow off that kid steam and being with other kids her age.

I also feel that if I invite a friend for her, it is y responsibility to cover the expenses. Its not a small decision because tickets and food will run up to ~$100-$125 per day.

[Mitzie]

Keep in mind that as your child grows into the teen years their friends become more important to them. They would much rather spend several hours with friends over family so bringing a friend along for an extended trip at that age isn't so bad.

[Belle of the Ball 051411]

Interesting thread!

Let me preface this by saying that DH and I do not have any children yet (hopefully soon!), but I have vacationed with other families and vise versa when I was a child...

The parents always asked the other parents first and laid out the "expectations"... The family going on vacation would provide accommodations and pay for meals (these were usually not $50-$100 meals though; kids menu). If traveling by car, the family vacationing would pay for gas since they would be paying for gas anyhow. If traveling by plane, the other parents would buy the plane ticket for the child (or reimburse the family). The child was always given spending money for souvenirs etc.

I think this worked out rather well. I would do the same when I have kids. I personally do not think it's unreasonable to ask the other parents to pay for their child's airfare (just make it clear upfront that the only thing the parent/child would need to pay for was the plane ticket and some spending money...). I would gladly pay for the child's meals though and perhaps some souvenirs (accommodations are a given). In reverse, if I let my child go on vacation with another family, I would definitely pay for my child's airfare and provide money for meals/spending money. I just wouldn't feel right letting someone else foot the entire bill for taking my child on vacation with them.

This is just my 2 cents... Good luck!

[MarkC]

We've taken friends for my two sons on multiple occasions. Never had a problem, but we didn't start until the friends were 13-14 and were secure about being away from home for a few days. 10 is pretty young.

If it's someone who has stayed with you before or spent a lot of time with your family you'll probably be fine. If not, I'd try to arrange a weekend together first. It also depends on the length of the trip-- I would try to keep it no more than 5-6 days.

As for cost, we felt if we were inviting them we should foot the bill. A couple of times we asked parents to pay the airfare and once a park ticket if we felt it wouldn't be an issue to them. We always took care of everything else since we were paying for motel and car anyway, and meals were a minor extra cost. That was how we handled it. I'm sure it's been handled in about every manner possible on here.

[Kplaster]

I would ask for airfare unless you have some sort of deal worked out were it's cheap. Other than that you invited so you would pay for food and park tickets and such. Most parents I know would still send food money and souvenier money with their kid on the trip. It also depends how close you are with the family of the child. We have one family we wouldn't ask to pay anything because if the situation was reversed they wouldn't and we are always taking care of each others children/family.