Needing some Pixie Dust...

[BriarRose0708]

I am going through a really hard time at the moment. Many of you heard me talk about my boyfriend at ICOT 15 and here on the boards. Well today he ended our relationship, which completely took me by surprise. He felt our relationship was going in two different directions and he couldn't give me the commitment. "he wasn't ready." I won't get into it completely but needless to say I am shocked and devastated that this is happening. We were together four years and although I knew we weren't headed toward marriage for a while, this was the last thing I ever saw coming from him.

I have been through breakups and heartache like this before and I know that I will be ok, but I just have a really hard time letting go of a person who had been my rock through some of the worst times of my life. I have a great family and very supportive friends to lean on and I am thankful for that. I know my situation isn't nearly as terrible as what many others are going though, like the aftermath of Sandy for example. It's still just going to be really, really hard.

[AgentC]

Oh Nikki,

I am so sorry. It just stinks to be blindsided and I understand how much it hurts when you find out everything you were expecting isn't there any more.

I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, but here is a little pixie dust. :pixie: I'll be thinking of you.

[faline]

Nikki, I'm so sorry! That really stinks!! When I was going through a difficult time, a friend gave me a little plate that says "Everything happens for a reason". I keep that plate in my office as a reminder that things often work out better than we think when things are at their worst. :hug:

[PirateLover]

So sorry to hear, Nikki. It can be hard to look at the good side of things during a time like this, but if he was really feeling that way it's probably better he ended it now instead of stringing you along indefinitely. You have a good head on your shoulders and you'll get through this. You said you have a great support system so don't hesitate to lean on them. We are here for you, too! The best piece of advice I could give would be to just get out and do things whenever you can. Indulge a hobby further, go running often. The more active you are the better you'll feel. :grouphug: :pixie:

[Melanie]

Nikki, that just stinks. I'm so sorry! :hug: Every day you'll feel a little better, and then like Linda said, you'll see that everything happens for a reason. Hang in there, and like Maryanne said, stay busy!!!

[Disney Hungarian]

I agree with everything the previous posters have said. You seem to have your head on straight and are thinking logically about this. It bites and it hurts. Wish it didn't have to be that way. Try to stay busy and go out with friends. Tomorrow is always just a day away. :pixie:

[Dsnygirl]

Oh Nikki, I am SO sorry... :hug: ... I wish there was more I could say or do, I can't imagine how difficult it is when something comes out of the blue like that. It's one thing when you can see it coming - but when it blindsides you, it's even worse. Like everyone else has said, things happen for a reason, and I know you know that... you are a strong, smart, really level-headed person and I know you'll get through this... but it still hurts, and I'm sorry. If you want to get together, remember that I'm not that far away... we all have strong shoulders here for you, but if you need "real" one, just give me a text/call/PM. :)

Hang in there, this all must mean that there is someone/something even better out there waiting for you. :pixie: :pixie:

[Dopey's Girl]

I'm so sorry Nikki!!! There isn't anything I can say or do to make you feel better, but know we are all here for you! :hug:

[Disney4us2]

Nikki,

I ditto everyone's sentiments as well. Just remember. When God closes one door, he always opens another.:hug::pixie::pixie::pixie::pixie:

[RedSoxFan]

I'm so sorry Nikki. My oldest son went through this a couple of years ago. It's not easy; but you will get through it. :pixie::pixie::pixie:

[Ed]

I always hate to see a friend get hurt. :(

If there's a "silver lining" to the situation, it would be that you weren't married and now facing the further heartbreak of a divorce.

Take full advantage of your support system, keep your head high, and don't let it wear you down. Stay strong!

:pixie: and :hug: headed your way.

[MelissaW]

Oh Nikki - so sorry that you are going through this and I too Ditto all of the previous posts! You WILL get through this, but it may not seem like that right now. With each passing day it will get a little less difficult although it may not seem that way right now. And remember you are a strong and beautiful woman and there is so much to look forward to for you! :hug:

[Katzateer]

Hang in there, this all must mean that there is someone/something even better out there waiting for you. :pixie: :pixie:

Sorry to hear that! :(

[BriarRose0708]

Thanks everybody. Reality hasn't really hit me yet, but I really appreciate all your kind and encouraging words. Luckily I live very close to my family and my mom is here with me now. I just need a lot of Taylor Swift, Adele, and wine.:marg:

[Carol]

I'm so sorry, Nikki. :(

It's hard to even imagine now that he was not "the one" - but there is someone out there for you. Feel better, Hon. Time will help you through this. :hug:

[BrerGnat]

So sorry to hear about this Nikki! :(

Hopefully, this means there is something better for you just around the corner.

Sending lots of hugs and :pixie: :pixie: :pixie: your way! :hug:

[stephicakes]

Sorry to hear you are going through a hard time Nikki. :( Been there, done that too. *sighs* But just know that it only means the best is yet to come for you. I promise! Just focus on yourself right now and surround yourself with good friends and family who love you. Do fun things with girlfriends - get your nails done, go to the movies, go shopping! Staying busy always helped me stay distracted when I went through the same thing. Just give it some time...

You WILL get through this lady!!!! :grouphug::pixie:

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

I'm sorry you are going through this Nikki. The future will hold bigger, better and brighter things for you. You just have to take time to heal and then go on with your life.

[VWL Mom]

So sorry, wishing you brighter days ahead.
:pixie::pixie::pixie:

[Cinderelley]

So sorry to hear you are going through such heartbreak.

On the bright side, this means you can find someone who will attend the next icot meet WITH you instead of just talking about him. :D

In all seriousness, you can get through this with your head held high and will find love again.

[disney obsessed]

I 'm sorry.


Is there a disney dating site out there when you are ready? Might be a lot of fun.:mickey:

[Cheshire_Girl]

No matter what the situation-or the loss, grieving is a difficult task, yet it is one that we all must do at various points in our lives.
I encourage you to allow yourself to grieve your loss, so that when you are done grieving, you can open your heart back up to the possibilities of a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow...
I will keep you in my prayers that your heart heals quickly and easily-as you count each day past as a blessing, and each day forward a treasure...

[laprana]

I'm so sorry you are going through this! :hug: I went through the same thing last December when my ex BF blindsided me and left after almost 13 years together. So I know exactly how you are feeling and what you're going through right now. It's hard and unfortunately it might get worse before it gets better. But, the good news is that you WILL get through it and you WILL come out of it a better, stronger person!

The best advice I can give you is to lean on the people who are there for you and let them help you through this. Let yourself feel whatever you're feeling at any given moment, good or bad. If you're angry, then let yourself be angry! If you're sad, then let yourself feel sad! And when you start to feel better, embrace that and hold onto it. Take the small moments of strength that come along every so often and hold onto those, and soon they will bind together and become the foundation of the person you'll become post-relationship. Allow yourself some time to wallow, but as soon as you feel ready, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take that first step to moving on and moving forward.

Getting through my break-up is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But, almost 1 year later, I am a better person because of it and I am better off without my ex. It took me a long time to realize that, but once I did, I was able to start figuring out who I am now and what I want out of life. You will get there, too. It's so hard to believe it now, but you will be OK!! And you'll be better off in the long run!

I wish I could give you a real hug, but I'll have to send you a virtual Icot hug instead. :hug: If you need to talk or vent or rant or anything, please feel free to PM me! All of your Icot friends are here for you, including me!

[laprana]

I just wanted to add that one of the things that helped me the most in the aftermath of my own break-up was music. I know you mentioned listening to Adele and Taylor Swift, so I thought you might view music in a somewhat similar way, as a healing force. There were lots of songs that have helped me along the way, some upbeat, some not so upbeat, some about making myself stronger, some about realizing I was better off without my ex. Anyway, I made a list of the songs that helped me the most, and I thought I'd share it with you. Some might not be to your taste, but I hope some of them can help you get through tough days like they did for me. Anyway, here it is!

“I Don’t Care” – Apocalyptica
“Jar of Hearts” – Christina Perri
"Titanium" - David Guetta & Sia
“Live My Life” – Far East Movement
“Good Feeling” – Flo Rida
“Shake it Out” – Florence & the Machine
“Some Nights” – Fun.
“Up Up Up” – The Givers
“Somebody That I Used to Know” – Gotye
“Heart’s a Mess” – Gotye
“Eyes Wide Open” – Gotye
“It’s Time” – Imagine Dragons
“Swim” – Jack’s Mannequin
“I’m Ready” – Jack’s Mannequin
“The Resolution” – Jack’s Mannequin
“Leave (Get Out)” – JoJo
“Heartless” – Kanye West
“Stronger” – Kanye West
“Part of Me” – Katy Perry
“Stronger” – Kelly Clarkson
“Smile” – Lily Allen
“A Lifeless Ordinary (Need a Little Help)” – Motion City Soundtrack
“You Can Do It” – No Doubt
“This Too Shall Pass” – OK Go
“That’s What You Get” – Paramore
“Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” – Pink
“There You Go” – Pink
“Hope Song” – Rock Kills Kid
“Goodbye” – Save Ferris
“I’m Not Cryin’ for You” – Save Ferris
“Mean” – Taylor Swift
“You Got Lucky” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Don’t Come Around Here No More” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Something Good Can Work” – Two Door Cinema Club

[minnie04]

Sorry you have to go through this... I think if you sit down and weigh out your relationship you will see it is probably in the best interest for the both of you. You don't want to wake up years from now and say "why". It’s going to stings for a while and then you will start to realize things ALWAYS happen for a GOOD reason. He was your rock, but he also made you a very strong young woman that can face anything. This is just another stepping stone to lead you too where you need to be in life. I really believe that. One day when you have a beautiful family, you will look back and say "Now I know WHY"...Hang in there it does get a whole lot better...:hug:

[minnie04]

“I Don’t Care” – Apocalyptica
“Jar of Hearts” – Christina Perri
"Titanium" - David Guetta & Sia
“Live My Life” – Far East Movement
“Good Feeling” – Flo Rida
“Shake it Out” – Florence & the Machine
“Some Nights” – Fun.
“Up Up Up” – The Givers
“Somebody That I Used to Know” – Gotye
“Heart’s a Mess” – Gotye
“Eyes Wide Open” – Gotye
“It’s Time” – Imagine Dragons
“Swim” – Jack’s Mannequin
“I’m Ready” – Jack’s Mannequin
“The Resolution” – Jack’s Mannequin
“Leave (Get Out)” – JoJo
“Heartless” – Kanye West
“Stronger” – Kanye West
“Part of Me” – Katy Perry
“Stronger” – Kelly Clarkson
“Smile” – Lily Allen
“A Lifeless Ordinary (Need a Little Help)” – Motion City Soundtrack
“You Can Do It” – No Doubt
“This Too Shall Pass” – OK Go
“That’s What You Get” – Paramore
“Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” – Pink
“There You Go” – Pink
“Hope Song” – Rock Kills Kid
“Goodbye” – Save Ferris
“I’m Not Cryin’ for You” – Save Ferris
“Mean” – Taylor Swift
“You Got Lucky” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Don’t Come Around Here No More” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Something Good Can Work” – Two Door Cinema Club

Great list of Songs :thumbsup:
I would just add one
"Sometimes I Thank God, For Unanswered Prayers" Garth Brooks!!!

[BriarRose0708]

I just wanted to add that one of the things that helped me the most in the aftermath of my own break-up was music. I know you mentioned listening to Adele and Taylor Swift, so I thought you might view music in a somewhat similar way, as a healing force. There were lots of songs that have helped me along the way, some upbeat, some not so upbeat, some about making myself stronger, some about realizing I was better off without my ex. Anyway, I made a list of the songs that helped me the most, and I thought I'd share it with you. Some might not be to your taste, but I hope some of them can help you get through tough days like they did for me. Anyway, here it is!

“I Don’t Care” – Apocalyptica
“Jar of Hearts” – Christina Perri
"Titanium" - David Guetta & Sia
“Live My Life” – Far East Movement
“Good Feeling” – Flo Rida
“Shake it Out” – Florence & the Machine
“Some Nights” – Fun.
“Up Up Up” – The Givers
“Somebody That I Used to Know” – Gotye
“Heart’s a Mess” – Gotye
“Eyes Wide Open” – Gotye
“It’s Time” – Imagine Dragons
“Swim” – Jack’s Mannequin
“I’m Ready” – Jack’s Mannequin
“The Resolution” – Jack’s Mannequin
“Leave (Get Out)” – JoJo
“Heartless” – Kanye West
“Stronger” – Kanye West
“Part of Me” – Katy Perry
“Stronger” – Kelly Clarkson
“Smile” – Lily Allen
“A Lifeless Ordinary (Need a Little Help)” – Motion City Soundtrack
“You Can Do It” – No Doubt
“This Too Shall Pass” – OK Go
“That’s What You Get” – Paramore
“Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” – Pink
“There You Go” – Pink
“Hope Song” – Rock Kills Kid
“Goodbye” – Save Ferris
“I’m Not Cryin’ for You” – Save Ferris
“Mean” – Taylor Swift
“You Got Lucky” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Don’t Come Around Here No More” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Something Good Can Work” – Two Door Cinema Club

Thank you SO MUCH Laura! I think you and I are cut from the same cloth, lol. I have a lot of the same songs on my "Best Breakup Songs Ever" playlist I made a few years ago. Just didn't anticipate ever listening to it again. I have to update it now since so many good songs have come out in 4 years. I LOVE Gotye and also added a lot of Vanessa Carlton, All American Rejects, Linkin Park, and Muse.

Today has been a little better, but not much since I am still in the process of telling people. It's the last news any of our friends ever expected to hear so they are also shocked and very surprised. It's really hard to keep having to hash it out over and over, but at the same time I don't want to put anyone in an awkward position because they don't know.

Also just made plans for New Years to go to DC and spend a few days with my sister who lives there. It would have been our anniversary. I will NEVER get together with a person on a national holiday ever again.

Thanks again to everyone for their thoughts and support!

[faline]

Also just made plans for New Years to go to DC and spend a few days with my sister who lives there. It would have been our anniversary. I will NEVER get together with a person on a national holiday ever again.

Sounds like a wonderful way to stay distracted!!

[Cinderelley]

Also just made plans for New Years to go to DC and spend a few days with my sister who lives there. It would have been our anniversary.


Blood is thicker than water.

[laprana]

Thank you SO MUCH Laura! I think you and I are cut from the same cloth, lol. I have a lot of the same songs on my "Best Breakup Songs Ever" playlist I made a few years ago. Just didn't anticipate ever listening to it again. I have to update it now since so many good songs have come out in 4 years. I LOVE Gotye and also added a lot of Vanessa Carlton, All American Rejects, Linkin Park, and Muse.

You are so very welcome! It looks like you have great taste in music! :D I hope those songs help you in some way.

I think it's great you're making plans now to help with what might be a tough day down the road. It gives you something else to think about and focus on! And right now, you can't worry too much about how your friends feel or if it's awkward for them. You have to do what's best for you, and if that means waiting a little while to tell everyone, then that's what you should do. You have to take care of yourself right now!

I hope today is better for you, and I hope it gets a little better with each day to come. It does get better, I promise! :hug:

[TikiGoddess]

On the bright side, this means you can find someone who will attend the next icot meet WITH you instead of just talking about him. :D



That sounds awesome. :)

Aw, Nikki, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm sure there is a new path ahead of you.

Some love advice from my girls:

My 8 year old says to eat gummy bears and rip their heads off if it makes you feel better.

My 9 year old says to watch your favorite movie and forget about it all for a while.

Hope you're feeling better soon!
Kathy (and Katie, and Julie)

[NJGIRL]

Nikki after meeting you I can say you are a very upbeat, lovely person and you will someday find a person who will appreciate that. Sometimes people just aren't right for each other no matter how nice they are. Hang in there...we have all been through this before finding our other half.

[Patricia]

I don't often get to the water cooler but your post caught my eye. I'm so sorry to hear this news and even more sorry to know you're hurting. :( You are a very kind and fun person to be with, you'll do just fine in the future. Hang in there! (((hugs)))

[Mousefever]

I'm just seeing this now, Nikki. I'm SO sorry. Is it too early for me to say really insulting things about him? Like...I said he was cute when you showed me his picture, but he wasn't THAT cute. And he had a kind of shifty look like he was untrustworthy, and immature, and not so bright, and cravenly, and a poo poo head. He is going to look back at this decision and totally regret it, because it's not like a stellar person such as yourself comes along every day! Is he going to be in Colorado any time soon? Cause I can definitely make sure he has a little "accident"! I know people!

Chin up, sweetie.

Amy

[BriarRose0708]

I'm just seeing this now, Nikki. I'm SO sorry. Is it too early for me to say really insulting things about him? Like...I said he was cute when you showed me his picture, but he wasn't THAT cute. And he had a kind of shifty look like he was untrustworthy, and immature, and not so bright, and cravenly, and a poo poo head. He is going to look back at this decision and totally regret it, because it's not like a stellar person such as yourself comes along every day! Is he going to be in Colorado any time soon? Cause I can definitely make sure he has a little "accident"! I know people!

Chin up, sweetie.

Amy

I love you!!!!!