Anyone else involved in the ministry?

[CosmicRay]

My DH is on staff as a volunteer associate pastor. Hes been on staff for two years now. I used to work at a church 10 years ago, so I'm somewhat aware of the drama and church politics that go along with being in the ministry.

But it seems like I have been wrung through the ringer the past year with people misunderstanding others, people getting upset over small things in the church and feeling like I can't do anything right to these people.

I told DH that I never knew I had so many flaws and problems till I went into the ministry.

I know problems happen, but in a small church in the past year I've seen and/or been involved with things like:

- They didn't get a meal when their husband was in the hospital. So they are leaving the church.
- They weren't invited to a 2 year old's Birthday party, and they are mad.
- So and so had an event and posted pics on Facebook and they don't like them posting those things.
- People are selling Advocare at church and that's not acceptable.
- Someone was told their missionary position was more humanitarian than missions related. And they were offended.
- Nobody walked at their son's diabetes walkathon (even though they haven't been to church in months, so no one knew).

These are small things, I would not tell the personal things, but the small things are constant. And it gets tiresome.

Anyone have a small tidbit of advice of dealing with such drama? Other than running away screaming into the night!

This is more of a vent, but I'm sure plenty of you have been there.

[Itchy]

I want to clarify that I am not with the ministry.

I have seen this happen in so many different places of businesses and family.

Please do not let it consume you. You seem to be a very compasionate person and should continue to be one. You can get personal gratification knowing that you are helping so many other people, and not let the judgemental ones influence your life and belief.

Bless you for all that you do and will do.

[MstngDrvnDsnyLvr]

Not in the ministry, but extremely active in my church. And there is no where you could attend that won't have people like that. Unfortunately too many of these people have joined a particular church because it is the thing to do or the church to be seen attending. They don't attend for the right reasons so their noses get bent out of joint when they think people are doing their 'Christian' duty by them because it has to always be ABOUT them.

Just grin and pray. That's the best that you can do.

[ibelieveindisneymagic]

Sounds way too familar!

I am a Children's Minister, have just started at a new church after a really bad experience at my last church and some days I shake my head and wonder why I bother, it seems I can't do anything right, the church can't do anything right and even God Himself can't please these people.

This is a new line of work for me, and I thought it would be different than my corporate job, but the politics are the same, except that people want more from you and from the church and the it all feels more important than a corporate job.

But, as you know, there is more good stuff than bad, and we are doing what we're called to do. When I step back and look at the big picture I realize that the work we're doing is important and that it is making a difference to a lot of people.

Like anywhere else you hear way more from the upset and frustrated people than the ones that are happy, and delighted with how things are going. There are plenty of people who will point out your faults; it is super important to have a core group of people who will support you, love you and pray for you when you need it.

I am in the process of starting a leadership team to join me in the leading of, and expanding of the ministry and I am REALLY looking forward to it. Not only will we will be there to support each other, we'll all bring different talents and know different people so we'll have a bigger impact than any of us alone.

Thanks to you and your DH for being a part of this great mission, I know it isn't easy!

[Ms. Mode]

You will have this type of reaction in EVERY church. The only way you can deal with the issues of other people is to love them; that's what the Lord instructs us to do...not easy in every case, but it is what sets us apart. :)

[Strmchsr]

I've been a pastor for many years and you described my current church perfectly 4-5 years ago (I ran a few of those folks off and now we're growing and doing great!). *sigh* Those kinds of folks are why I've often said if it weren't for Christians there would be more Christians. They're focused on themselves and no on the mission. It happens at every church, but it's much more apparent in a small church. You just have to love them anyway and realize they are broken people that God loves. Don't put up with the nonsense, call them on the silliness, but always love them anyway. And realize you're not alone!

[princessgirls]

You are not alone, and YOU will never make everyone happy.

I love our church, but it is going through it's share of hard times. People aren't happy and they are leaving and it hurts.

I just keep serving, smiling, and worshiping.

Julie:mickey:

[CosmicRay]

I thank you all for your kind and uplifting words! DH and I have gone through so much this summer. And I told DH I would be happy to just pack it up and leave, but he wanted to stay with it and wait it out. I'm glad to have a DH that is committed and loyal to what's important to him. And while I have pouted and whined. He's stayed strong and steady and patient with me.

Some of the bigger issues we've dealt with were other staff members (three pastors including DH). But yesterday, DH had a meeting with our senior pastor that ironed out some of the problems and mis-communication. And the next step will be to talk with our Family pastor. And pray that meeting goes well!

Our church is still small, but it's growing quickly in our town. And I know we are experiencing the growing pains, and there's also the spiritual warfare. But after DH and our pastor talked, we feel better and I feel ready to go another round or two. Ready to love and see what God has to show me and work on with me.

Thank you again for all your words!

[princessgirls]

Hang in there.

Honestly, I work in ministry too...and serve in various capacities and committees in church (not pastoral), and it can be frustrating. I do try, and we are human so I fall short daily, to remember that whatever I do...I do for HIM!!!

Julie:mickey: