number of children..is it a difference?

[Peterpanflight]

I have 3 children now ages 4, 3 in May, and 1 in May. I really want 4 so for those of you with 4 children is it that much of a difference going from 3-4? My husband gets worried about $$ as we are DVC members and go to Disney every year. Any thoughts?

[dnickels]

No kids here, but I think so much of that answer will depend on personal spending habits.

If you're on the frugality scale where #4 is going to be given hand-me-down items from #s 1-3 and kids will be sharing rooms until they leave for college, sharing one car between siblings, paying their own way through college and as young adults then it's probably not such a big deal.

If you're on the other end where the new child has to have new baby clothes, the kids all need their owns rooms (now you're pushing a minimum 5 bedroom house and the additional utilities/upkeep that come with it), buying each child a vehicle, paying for their college tuition, supporting them financially until they get on their feet, paying for weddings, etc. then the additional expense gets considerable.

Whatever additional expenses you've personally noticed from #1 to #s 2 and 3 will probably tell you more about how much more it will be than a different person with different spending styles who went from 3 to 4.

[mdhiggin]

As DVC members, you will be required to book at least a 2 bedroom for 6, so extra points will be necessary for vacationing. We have recently run into this.

[MNNHFLTX]

I'm replying as the mother of one (college-age) son, so I can't answer about what the difference between 3-4 children might be when they are young. But as someone paying tuition, room and board, I would think about expenses down the road too! Unless they get scholarships, loans or grants, college is an expensive proposition!

[wdwfansince75]

There are 11 years between #1 and #4 (DS#1 and DS#4), and our baby is now 36. We first hit the problem of needing two rooms way back before the moderates or values...but we found the cabins to be a solution...
We actually had 3 in the same college one year...and we did not find any group rates!
All four survived..all have degrees....and all still love us...
Cars can be a problem...worse today than way back when...Our kids knew that they had to work to get their own...
Sports (and other activities) can be a problem...One year, we had one playing soccer in college, while DD#1 and DD#2 both ran cross country, and track...but went to different HS's, due to redistricting...but we accomodated it.
Money is not created; it is transferred. So to pay for 4, you transfer a little of what you would have paid for 3...braces may get delayed a bit, until the slightly older one completes...Maybe 5 days at Disney allows for all, instead of the 6 days you may have been able to do, with 3.
I do not know of anything we gave up...the best lives are shared, even if the sharees do not always know how we did it. And frankly, considering the four we had, 8 would have been twice the fun. Oh, by the way, we have 8 incredible grandkids...who seem more like their parents every day.
All I can wish for you is that you get as much joy from your 3 or 4 as we have gotten from our 4.

[DizneyRox]

One and done is my motto... Was quite a shock going from two plane tickets to three, can't imagine more. And that's just one example. As others have mentioned, holidays, college, etc. :faint:

[Peterpanflight]

Thanks everyone...
I just wanted to get some opinions. I am one of 4 and my mom said no real difference. Same with my aunt who said no real difference. I thought going from 2 to 3 was a bit tough but not money wise. So I figure what is one more. haha..Also my husband has been working at one of the best college universities in our state so they would go for free if he still worked there. Money is not a huge issue for us and we are pretty lucky. But we have not seen the expenses yet since our kids are all under age of 4. I would love to have 8 if I could but know that is not possible. We are go for 10 days for our disney trips so the thought of eventually cutting down kills me. I am still thinking about my decision. Thanks again for your input!

[BrerGnat]

The most recent (conservative) estimate is that it costs $190,000 to raise a child from birth to age 18. This does NOT include college years. If you add in the college years and you intend to pay for it, adding in tuition, room and board, allowances, etc. it can be as high as $475,000 PER CHILD.

So, there is a very real cost to having children. Going from 3 to 4 will add approximately $11,000 PER YEAR in expenditures for the next 18 years.

So, you have to decide if your family can afford that. I know that those estimates are not accurate for every family, but it's an average.

We were done with 2. It works well for us. We just added a dog, and now our family is complete. :)

[Ian]

We have four and I wouldn't have it any other way. If DW and I weren't both over 40 now, I'd have more. I don't care what they cost in dollars ... they pay you back 1,000 fold in hugs!

As far as the money goes, you figure it out. You adjust. We actually went from two right to four since our last turned out to be twins and we managed. It's all about priorities.

[Janmac]

This is interesting. When I read the OP's post, my first thought wasn't money but a parent's - especially the caregiver's - time.

How much more time and attention is needed to go from 3 kids to 4. In my experience, you can make the money work - better job, reuse/recycle, etc. - but it's difficult to insert more hours in the day.

That said, while our kids were growing up, we were foster parents and always had another stray kid or two living with us. We never had more than 5 kids at a time, as I remember, but it really didn't seem to make much difference, 3 or 4 or 5.

Jan

[Ian]

This is interesting. When I read the OP's post, my first thought wasn't money but a parent's - especially the caregiver's - time.Well I can say that that the twins do make it tough sometimes. With two little ones under the age of 2 the demands on the parental units gets a bit :crazy: at times!

[Peterpanflight]

For me giving enough attention comes easy...I actually run a small daycare out of my home so we have lots of fun everyday. The one thing I always say I will change is going out with my husband more. We never have babysitters we are always with the kids. My youngest will be a year and I have yet to leave him:)

[princessgirls]

Honestly, I never think of money in terms of raising my kids. We enjoy them, and try to give them a good well rounded life. I wish I could have had more kids. I also enjoy doing things with my "little" niece and nephews. Usually on my dime. My choice. I enjoy making memories with them.
Our girls are 11 & 10 years old. It has gone by so fast. I had my years before them to travel, and will have them when again, when they have their own families.
Julie:mickey:

[Mickey'sGirl]

Although I only have two children, my parents had four, and there was only 3 1/2 years separating my oldest brother from me (the youngest child). Mom always said that you have one, or you have more than one, and with all of us being virtually the same age, she found that we were pretty much doing the same things at the same time. She was happy that there were an even number of us though ... that way no child was left to be a third wheel.

I do know that "money" was always watched. My Mom was a school teacher who left her profession to look after the four of us, but we always had a summer holiday. Though all of our holidays during our younger years were driving holidays, and we stayed at the Motel 6's and ate in our motel room (with all 6 of us crowded into the one room). They were fun times though! We were expected to do our bit in the house, get part time jobs when we were teens, and pay our own way through University with scholarships and saved job money ... which we all did. We are all still exceptionally close. All of us.

[SBETigg]

We have four and I wouldn't have it any other way. If DW and I weren't both over 40 now, I'd have more. I don't care what they cost in dollars ... they pay you back 1,000 fold in hugs!

As far as the money goes, you figure it out. You adjust. We actually went from two right to four since our last turned out to be twins and we managed. It's all about priorities.

I think Ian's got a great point. You adjust. If you want more, you will make it work. Priorities. And really, once you're outnumbered, is there a difference? My husband would say yes. We're both middle children of three and he said we would have two or four, but never three. He had a lot of middle child issues (plus he's the only boy). I didn't mind being middle of three so much, because we're all girls and my younger sister is much younger. But we stopped at two, and that works for us. No middle child. I used to think about having four, but then two felt just right.

[Lizzy]

I have 3 children, and will be having #4 hopefully around Jan 2014. I have a 13 y/o DS, a 4 y/o DS and a 17 month old DD. The demands on your daily life will definatly go up, as I noticed when I went from 2-3. There are always Dr appointments, places to be, childcare, food, etc. Vacations are the last thing on my mind when thinking about if and how we will afford to try for #4.

My thing is, I want to be sure that I can provide the same amount of quality of life for #4 as I have for #2 and #3. (#1 is so much older that I have a diffrent outlook with him) #2 always has jelousy issues and I try to make a special time with each child individually. It's easy with the baby, because the boys have a diffrent father and go to his house every other weekend. The oldest and I try to go to the movies or dinner once a month. But sometimes I have to bring the baby with to those. He doesn't mind but it makes me sad. With my YDS I take him for a donut on the way to school on Fridays. It's not much, but it's something.

Going to four won't be that much of a diffrence as far as having kids and activities around, the but the expenses and the demands on the parents to be involved with each one's development individually does make a diffrence.

[DizHawk]

My DW and I have four children, 10, 9, 3, and 2.

Is it difficult? Yes.

Does money strain sometimes? Yes.

Would I trade it for anything? Absolutely not.

Having four kids in relation to our Disney fixation is more expensive. Last year was the last time we will be able to stay in a one bedroom villa or at one of the moderates. Our youngest will turn three in a couple months so he won't be considered an infant anymore. This will increase our spending on food, tickets, and hotel.

However, like Ian said above, we adjust. Having our family time together (at Disney or otherwise) is more important to us than most other things. A larger family means a bigger car and a tighter fitting house. It also means four hugs when I get home from work, and four kisses goodnight (Well, three usually. DS9 isn't crazy about kissing his dad, but I still get one every once in a while).

We homeschool and my wife stays at home, so family time for us is not an issue.