How to Deal with Possibly Family Vacation

[White Rose]

I have no idea how to even begin to articulate my feelings on this...

My family really turned me onto Disney. However, we didn't go every year and the last trip we took together as a family was back when I was 14, in 2002 and my younger sister was 8. Now, I am 23 and DSis is going to be 18 in December...so, you can see it's been awhile. We went once before that in 1998 when I was 10 years old (my first trip). So, only two trips total with my family.

I took my first "grown up" trip to Disney when I was 18, with 2 other friends, to celebrate our high school graduation in 2006 and I think it was then when I really got bit by the bug. I planned every ADR, I booked the trip and everything without any help from my parents. I took my second with another friend this past January to celebrate my birthday and it was also fantastic and renewed my love of Disney. Once prices are released for 2012, I'm probably going to book again for a trip in January to celebrate my 24th birthday.

I was chatting with my sister and my mother last night and my sister mentioned off handedly that my mom had been discussing a possible family Disney trip in January, as both her break from college and mine from graduate school both last almost the entirety of January.

:stop:

I love my family, truly. And my sister really does want to go back bad, but I just don't know if after my doing my own trips if I could bare to travel with my family again! The last family vacation we took was in 2007 to Ft. Myers, FL for two weeks. We had fun but being with my family in that sort of confined space (even with separate rooms) gets to me after awhile and I've found it to be so much different and less hectic when I travel with my friends.

My father is also very commando and while I love being at parks for rope drop, I can't do a park an ENTIRE day and I prefer to head back to the hotel in the afternoon to rest a bit for dinner. He'll also give me grief if I want to leave and say it's because I don't want to spend time with my family.

I still need to sit down and discuss this with my mother and figure out how concrete this idea is. I know she really wants to go back soon, as I have been telling her about the Fantasyland expansion and Beauty and the Beast is her favorite Disney movie. So, I think I might have had the bug bite her by accident.

I pretty much have the money saved up right now, except for a few more hundred dollars for my next trip (with a friend in January). The good thing is if I went with my family, I would not be expected to pay; however...I almost would prefer to go with my friends then with my family. But, perhaps this trip with my family would be different, now that I'm MUCH older? I suppose I could plan to be down there the same time as my family and meet them for dinners and such but stay in a separate hotel with my friend? (I would pay, of course, if this were the case).

I guess what I'm basically looking for is some guidance. I feel terrible for thinking this way but I really thought we had gotten to this place where the next family vacations weren't going to be until grandchildren!

P.S. If you read this entire post, kudos to you! I thank you!

[JROriole8Fan]

Ironically we also are from MD, I have 2 daughters almost 24 and 19. We actually go many times a year and I used to be the commando type as well. We now do things very differently and we do so because letting everyone do as they want, makes the times we are doing things together wonderful. I would recommend giving your Dad a chance, explaining that you are not 12 anymore. That while you would love to go as a family, you are going to go off at times on your own, may not be with them all the time, but that you will do things together. The same can be true for your sister. I bet he will understand, embrace the change and enjoy time in the park without "kids". This outcome is far better than spending time without seeing each other at all.

[BWayGrl]

When we used to go as a family, my brother would always go off and do his own thing, then meet back up with us. And that was when he was only 14. I'm sure your parents would understand if you wanted some time to yourself.

I'm also 23 and I've taken about 15 trips to WDW- only 2 were with my entire family. The rest were with different combos of people --just my mom, my mom and my brother, just my fiance, and I did take one trip with a bunch of girlfriends. I had fun on every single trip!It doesn't matter if it's with family or friends! But I think family is really important, and I think you will still have fun with them! Since you've been there a few more times than they have, maybe you can teach them things they didn't know, and kind of play "leader." Plus, maybe your parents would enjoy some romantic time alone while you and your sister go off and do something else. You only get one family, so you should enjoy the time you have together!

[Disneyfun]

As a fellow Marylander and one who also experiences difficulties in traveling with family, me best advice would be to try to sit down with your family and explain what you have experienced during your last visits. Since your parents' last trip was 9 years ago (if I understood your post correctly), their expectations from the parks may have changed as well.
Your best bet may be to try to plan out as much as possible before the trip WITH your family all together. This will allow you the opportunity to shape the direction of the vacation and suggest activities that will help you enjoy the time as well as their company! Let them know how much you enjoy the parks if you are able to take a break from them during the day. Suggest a shopping excursion during the heat of the day to DTD, or a mini-golf tournament with the winner receiving a prize of some sort (our family loves this and the winner gets $1!! We all try to win and I'm 38!), a fishing excursion, touring the many different resorts, hitting a water park, the list could go on and on! Take charge, even if it means that your are planning a commando experience that isn't as commando as he might think...he may be just wanting to maximize his time and money while he is there!
Hope you have a great time!

[MississippiDisneyFreak]

What about going at the same time as your family but with your friends? You would be able to get your own accomodations but still would be able to meet up for some meals and rides...plus you have a good excuse not to go at your dad's speed...you can always say your friend likes to tour more leisurely.....if this is not an option I think the best thing to do is just talk it out with your family...express your feelings and go from there

[princessgirls]

I think these situations can work if everyone is willing to give and take in them.

Did a family vacation with both families over the last couple of years. Will never EVER do one again with my inlaws...:thedolls:
Disaster.....

Would do another one with my family, keep trying to talk them into Disney...

Julie:mickey:

[BellesRose]

Remember that everyone in the group is 10 years older, not just you. 10 years is a lot - your dad may be begging to go back to the resort to rest by lunch! And he may not expect you all to be together the entire time. Last time, you probably weren't allowed to go off alone in the parks for long, let alone make your own plans! You could plan a whole day of fun stuff with your sister, while your parents relax or do what they want. I say, go for it! Even if it isn't everything you want, you can use the money you saved to go with your friend later on in the year. Bonus trip! :thumbsup:

And remember how precious time with your family really is - at any age. You may regret NOT going someday. You might want to save the family trip for a time when grandchildren would be involved, but tomorrow is not guaranteed.

[disney obsessed]

OK I am taking a deep breath and praying I do not set off a fight. Also, please don't take this the wrong way but....this is not only about you. I am the mother of three girls 21, 18 and 15. I am so greatful for the time I have with them. The younger girls get so happy when the oldest wants to spend time with them. Their Dad is so busy. If he has the opportunity to hang out with them it's a blessing. It is heartwarming for me to watch the older girls see him on his own terms as a person and want him to be happy too.

You have your life and you can go to Disney when you want and do what you want. Offer help but be prepared to have it turned down. It's time to be the adult you are and go on the family vacation and make the best out of every situation for/with them.

I think the idea of offering to give them time to themselves and you and your sister going off to have fun sounds great. Please do not take your friends. They can go next time.

I do no think you will be sorry.

[White Rose]

Ironically we also are from MD, I have 2 daughters almost 24 and 19. We actually go many times a year and I used to be the commando type as well. We now do things very differently and we do so because letting everyone do as they want, makes the times we are doing things together wonderful. I would recommend giving your Dad a chance, explaining that you are not 12 anymore. That while you would love to go as a family, you are going to go off at times on your own, may not be with them all the time, but that you will do things together. The same can be true for your sister. I bet he will understand, embrace the change and enjoy time in the park without "kids". This outcome is far better than spending time without seeing each other at all.

Thank you so much! And what a concidence! I greatly appreciate the advice. This is a great way of seeing this.


I'm also 23 and I've taken about 15 trips to WDW- only 2 were with my entire family. The rest were with different combos of people --just my mom, my mom and my brother, just my fiance, and I did take one trip with a bunch of girlfriends. I had fun on every single trip!It doesn't matter if it's with family or friends! But I think family is really important, and I think you will still have fun with them! Since you've been there a few more times than they have, maybe you can teach them things they didn't know, and kind of play "leader." Plus, maybe your parents would enjoy some romantic time alone while you and your sister go off and do something else. You only get one family, so you should enjoy the time you have together!

You know, this is so true. Thanks for the insight! :thumbsup:


As a fellow Marylander and one who also experiences difficulties in traveling with family, me best advice would be to try to sit down with your family and explain what you have experienced during your last visits. Since your parents' last trip was 9 years ago (if I understood your post correctly), their expectations from the parks may have changed as well.
Your best bet may be to try to plan out as much as possible before the trip WITH your family all together. This will allow you the opportunity to shape the direction of the vacation and suggest activities that will help you enjoy the time as well as their company! Let them know how much you enjoy the parks if you are able to take a break from them during the day.

This is also really sound advice. I think I keep envisioning my father back from the first trips we took and keep thinking of him that way. He's truly mellowed out over the years. I'll have to make sure I keep this in mind!


What about going at the same time as your family but with your friends? You would be able to get your own accomodations but still would be able to meet up for some meals and rides...plus you have a good excuse not to go at your dad's speed...you can always say your friend likes to tour more leisurely.....if this is not an option I think the best thing to do is just talk it out with your family...express your feelings and go from there

Thanks for the advice! I may possibly mention this to my parents as a possibility.


Did a family vacation with both families over the last couple of years. Will never EVER do one again with my inlaws...
Disaster.....

LOL. I don't know if our vacation there would be that bad, but I keep envisioning the worst...LOL.


Remember that everyone in the group is 10 years older, not just you. 10 years is a lot - your dad may be begging to go back to the resort to rest by lunch! And he may not expect you all to be together the entire time. Last time, you probably weren't allowed to go off alone in the parks for long, let alone make your own plans! You could plan a whole day of fun stuff with your sister, while your parents relax or do what they want. I say, go for it! Even if it isn't everything you want, you can use the money you saved to go with your friend later on in the year. Bonus trip!

And remember how precious time with your family really is - at any age. You may regret NOT going someday. You might want to save the family trip for a time when grandchildren would be involved, but tomorrow is not guaranteed.

You know, BellesRose. This is so true. Also, my father is going to be 50 this year, so he's quite a different guy now, versus when he was 40.


OK I am taking a deep breath and praying I do not set off a fight. Also, please don't take this the wrong way but....this is not only about you.

You have your life and you can go to Disney when you want and do what you want. Offer help but be prepared to have it turned down. It's time to be the adult you are and go on the family vacation and make the best out of every situation for/with them.

I think the idea of offering to give them time to themselves and you and your sister going off to have fun sounds great. Please do not take your friends. They can go next time.

I do no think you will be sorry.

No worries, no fight from me. :mickey: But, I am a little worried that I came across as selfish. I'm truly not trying to come across/sound that way. I've just, in vacationing with my family over the years, realize we have different styles and want to branch out a little bit. I spend a lot of time with my family here at home, as I moved back home after college and will be here another two years as I work on my Masters, starting this fall. But, my friends, I don't get to see as often as we live far apart. So, it's sort of this weird situation...

But, as others have pointed out, it will have been 10 years. Loads of have probably changed since then. :)

[BellesRose]

But, I am a little worried that I came across as selfish. I'm truly not trying to come across/sound that way. I've just, in vacationing with my family over the years, realize we have different styles and want to branch out a little bit. I spend a lot of time with my family here at home, as I moved back home after college and will be here another two years as I work on my Masters, starting this fall. But, my friends, I don't get to see as often as we live far apart. So, it's sort of this weird situation...

But, as others have pointed out, it will have been 10 years. Loads of have probably changed since then. :)
I didn't think of you as selfish, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Especially since you and I are the same age and I'm still at home, too. I would like a vacation with friends for a little change. But if my parents are offering to take me to Disney, I'm gonna take it! LOL! And you can always take another trip with your friends. Maybe even sometime in the fall to do the Halloween party and Food and Wine Festival?

[White Rose]

I didn't think of you as selfish, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Especially since you and I are the same age and I'm still at home, too. I would like a vacation with friends for a little change. But if my parents are offering to take me to Disney, I'm gonna take it! LOL! And you can always take another trip with your friends. Maybe even sometime in the fall to do the Halloween party and Food and Wine Festival?

Aw, thanks BellesRose. I appreciate that. :)

In other news...

My parents totally booked a trip tonight. :faint:

My mom and I looked at my dates for my school and then my younger sister's. We then had to look at my father's work schedule. My family will be down January 15th-21st, staying in a family suite at the Shades of Green. I'm sort of in shock at the moment, but it's really going to happen!

I have discussed a few things over with my mother and she has indicated a desire for me to come on a trip with my family. However, I'm also semi committed to taking a trip with friends in January as well--we've been discussing it for several months now and will hopefully book in August. What it looks like is that I'll take a trip with friends before my family comes down. If things work out, it looks like I might be spending about two weeks in the world! I'm hoping to head down the week before my family gets there, squeeze in some time with the girls and then join my family for another week at the Shades of Green and my friends will be leaving.

My mother wasn't too keen on the idea because she thinks I'll be Disneyed out and won't be okay with spending two weeks in the parks (she doesn't know me that well at all, now does she? ;) )And she also thinks I'll not want to do things over again with my family that I experienced with my friends the week before. Honestly, I'm completely okay with it all. She's okay with it now, I think.

So, I guess I kinda get the best of both worlds! Time with my friends and then time with the family!

Any thoughts/comments? I'd love to hear it!