Unwelcome Guests

[BayLaker25]

My wife and I are planning a trip to WDW in October for the F&W Festival and Halloween. Last night we were out with friends and they asked if we were going again this year; we told them we were and that we were going in October. They then began to talk to each other saying "Do you want to go to Disney World with them?", and decided they would like to, of course we acted like it would be fine but it really wasn't. Obviously my wife and I did not invite them, they invited themselves :angry:, and my wife previously mentioned to his wife that she is glad it is just the two of us going this time. Our last trip consisted of us using our DVC to take my parents and my brother, his wife and 2 kids. The time before that we took my wife's brother and cousin; so we really haven't had a chance to take a trip alone in a while.

What is the Best way to maybe let them know AGAIN :bang: that we are excited to go by ourselves with out being mean about it :banned:. They would only be able to go for 3 days because of work and we are going for a week. They are good friends but we need this vacation alone for once because we can do what we want to and not have to worry about anyone else. Please let us know what you think or if you have dealt with this situation before, THANKS!!!

[TheVBs]

Wow! That was really bold of them!

I've never had this happen before, but I think I would likely try to handle it by saying that you hope they have a good time if they decide to go, but they shouldn't book around the plans you and your wife have made because you plan on making it a quality time trip for the two of you. Say you're sorry you'll miss spending time with them there this year, but you can plan a trip together another time.

Good luck!

[nfrustaci]

uh oh, good luck

[Ian]

Wow that was really bold, wasn't it?

So here's my take on it ... I think you needed to speak up the minute the started inviting themselves if you didn't want them tagging along. Letting them think it was okay and then turning around and "un-inviting" them is a bit awkward.

Maybe take more of an approach of being very subtle about how things will go ...

"Oh, just so you guys know we've already made all our dining reservations just for two, so you'll probably want to make sure you guys make reservations of your own."

"We tend to be pretty laid back about our Disney trips since we go so often, so don't feel tied down to our schedule. Feel free to go off on your own if we're slowing you up. Remember we have a whole week and you guys only have three days."

"We're so excited ... on <X>day we've made plans to have a spa day together followed by a special dinner. We're really looking forward to having this quality one-on-one time!"

This way they'll probably intuit the fact that you're essentially saying, "Glad you're going to be there at the same time we are. Don't call us, we'll call you."

[MississippiDisneyFreak]

When you say they are talking about going with you, does that mean they expect to drive down together, stay together, etc.....If so you definitely need to speak up now...

Here's a suggestion, if they are talking about booking their own separate trip and just hanging out I think I would save face by suggesting maybe we can go out to dinner one night. Let them know again, you are looking forward to your alone time but can find time to join them for a meal.

[joonyer]

I'd just say: "Great, maybe we can meet for dinner ONE night while you are there."

If they are really friends, that shouldn't kill you. And I wouldn't mention any of the rest of my plans or change them. Let them fend for themselves. If they want to spend a vacation at WDW with you, let them plan a trip and invite you.

[mouseketeer mom]

This sounds like a nightmare if you ask me. I have actually waited on telling a certain few until the last minute for fear this would happen.
When it comes up again, I'd simply be kind and assertive at the same time. That you are excited for them planning a trip, and that the two of you are excited for your own trip, that you've been waiting for this one on one trip a long time. That perhaps your paths will cross, but otherwise, your plans for the two of you are in place. And I'd add, that perhaps you guys can plan a trip together in the future. Good Luck. I'd be losing sleep over this one. Remember...They were out of line BOLD. This trip belongs to you. Be bold in claiming it as your own. It is NOT selfish.

[Bri]

I agree with everyone that you have to make it clear that you have your plans set already. Maybe you can meet them for a dinner, but other than that they should be expecting to be vacationing by themselves. But here's another question, where are they staying? If they booked the same hotel as you, then that takes this to a whole other level. It will be awkward in avoiding them when you are staying at the same place. Just be kind but assertive, and maybe repetitive, in mentioning that you are excited to have this time together, just the 2 of you. Hopefully they get the hint!

[rkmemkc]

[QUOTE=joonyer;2160877]I'd just say: "Great, maybe we can meet for dinner ONE night while you are there."

I love this...and totally agree!!:mickey:

[#1donaldfan]

[QUOTE=joonyer;2160877]I'd just say: "Great, maybe we can meet for dinner ONE night while you are there."

I love this...and totally agree!!:mickey:

This one will work, that way they will know up front that you don't plan on being tethered to them the entire time !!:mickey:

[floridamom]

We had an experience where the one meal thing opened up Pandora's box. Even if you plan to meet them for just one meal, they could very likely end up tagging along with your plans for that whole day, or even more. You know your friends best--are they the type that would truly understand and respect your desire to be alone, or does that sort of thing just go over their heads?

IMHO, I think you need to be very clear (before they book anything) that this whole trip is designed for you two, but as other posters said, you could suggest a joint trip at a later date. Maybe even tentatively throw out a time frame when they could go for a longer period. Good luck! :mickey:

[BrerGnat]

You're a lot more polite than I am! I would have stopped at "yeah, we're going this year". I would not have told them when, or any other details.

I would stop this now before it gets too far. I would call them up today and say that while you love travelling with friends/family, you didn't realize that by discussing your trip last night you were extending an invitation. Tell them that you have already made all your plans and that this is to be a special romantic trip for the two of you and you will not be spending time with them if they choose to go at the same time as you.

[alaMode]

I would call them today and clarify that your trip is really about the two of you!

It sounds like your wife has already talked about this with one member of the couple, so maybe she can call and gently explain the situation.

It's still early enough to nip this in the bud! IMO, it's better to be honest and upfront than risk ruining a friendship and a special trip over a misunderstanding!

Good luck and keep us posted!

[cer]

Just sitting here shaking my head in disbelief. I hope this all works out.

As uncomfortable as it may seem now, put an end to their misunderstanding and don't sacrifice your trip for two because you have to have an awkward conversation. You deserve to have the vacation you want.

Wishing you the best.

[Daisy'sMom]

Oh dear! This is so difficult. I feel really sorry that they have put you in this bad situation. I think you have to come right out and tell them you want to be alone. Good luck!:mickey:

[MarkC]

Lots of good advice from the prior posters. We did have this happen to us a few years ago. We invited their son to come with us as he was close with my son. The entire family then decided to join us. We ended up having a lot more fun than we thought it would be. We were able to show them around and get to know them in a different setting. At times we went our separate ways, but I'm glad they came with us. Not sure it will work that way for you, but at least there is hope.

[brownie]

That's a tough spot to be in. It would've been best to say something right at the beginning, but that moment has passed.

Ian had some sound advice for you. You might also try talking to one of them one-on-one. Worst case, if they're not there as long as you, you still have your time that they're not there.

I hope your able to work it out and enjoy your trip.

[spoiledraf]

Well my guilt is over flowing right now. We go every year and when my sister in law said they were going, I asked my wife if she wanted to go down with her sister this year. Well the plans have been made and since they have only been once many years ago we thought it would be fun and we would help them out planning and such. Quite frankly I have been doing a little second guessing myself and wonder if we should back out and reschedule for a later date. They don't seem to mind and are asking a lot of questions since I'm the family pro on the subject, but gee whiz, i was just trying to be helpful! :confused:

[BayLaker25]

Thanks for all of the replies there has been a lot of good advice on here. I think I may try "We already have our dining reservations booked for 2 people and its kind of hard to get them change to the places we want to go." (They don't go to WDW ever year like us so they won't know if thats true or not.) Also I may tell them we plan on just spend some time alone because it hard to do with how much we both work. We are staying at BC and I don't think they would spend the money to stay there anyway so we wouldn't have to worry about running into them at the hotel if they do decide to go. They want to go and walk around Epcot and keep drinking; my wife and I like to have a couple of drinks but not like they are planning; we enjoy going on rides, walking around, and shopping. I'm just glad they don't know about this website so I can get all of the good information that was posted on this thread. :rocks:

Off topic but GO FLYERS!!!! :team::puck:

[Puppy Mom]

All of you are much nicer than I am. I feel that someone so rude as to invite themselves on someone else's vacation need not be dealt with that gently. I cannot imagine how anyone could even think of assuming that they can impose on someone else's trip unless an invitation is very specifically issued.

I would call and tell them that your vacation is just that, YOUR vacation and that you will not be sharing it. Do not promise some future joint vacation or make excuses that suggest that you would like to meet up with them if only your plans had not already been made.

[princessgirls]

AWKWARD!!! YIKES....

I do hope it does all work out, and in the end, most of these situations usually do work themselves out.

Good Luck!
Julie:mickey:

[ryca1dreams]

I'm polite, but direct. I would just say something like, "So are you guys going the same time we're there? Who knows, we might run into each other."

Seems pretty straightforward, honest (no falsehoods involved), but still nice.

[cer]

Let us know how this all works out.

Well, if you want to...

[princessjojo]

Oh my, what a dilema. This is one area where I am completely unconfrontational. If it were me, I would just skirt the whole situtation and offer up no additional details. If they asked, I would play somewhat dumb and quickly change the subject. I would say that your trip is close enough that making it a joint vacation, but it's further that I realized. But still, if they ask, you already have your room ressies made and your dining ressies, along with other special treats like spa treatments or tours.

I guess I just hope that if you ignore a situtation, it will sometimes take care of itself.

Good luck with your friends!!

[BayLaker25]

I actually have not brough it up yet and have seen them a couple times already since they decided to invite themselves, and they have not brought it up either. We never actually told them the exact dates so I feel if we dont mention it they wont remember. If they do happen to bring it up again I will let them know that we wanted to take a trip alone. Here's hoping they forget :fingers:

[MizMissy]

and my wife previously mentioned to his wife that she is glad it is just the two of us going this time.

Here's hoping things will work out for the best! You say they haven't mentioned it again. Maybe they were caught up in the moment over dinner with the idea of going to WDW too, then later when discussing it, the wife may have mentioned that the two of you really wanted to go along or maybe they picked up on the fact that you two were not really, really excited about them joining you. If so, them not mentioning it again may be their way of getting out of the awkward situation.

Best of luck and I hope you enjoy your trip!

[ValenciaCalling]

Ugh. I hate being backed into a corner like that. I used to be a real pushover when it came to stuff like that, but not when it comes to inviting yourself on someone else's vacation! This whole thing reminds me of the Griswolds. haha. I couldn't imagine being that rude.

[Tink#64]

This is a tough spot & I've been there - a couple of times! Never want to be "there" again. :ack: The first time DM & DB & his DG & her DD decided to go join us. They refused to do any of their own planning, even though I gave them tons of information. I even told them straight out - that 8 people couldn't be together for 9 days 24/7 without wanting to kill each other! Oh they agreed at the time & as soon as we arrived, they all informed me that they would just be hanging with us! :ack: Well we made some wonderful memories, but myself, DH & both DS's felt kind of robbed! These people stopped at every bathroom, every shop & had to take breaks at 10:00AM! I about came unglued! We moved at a snails pace - which is not conducive to WDW & do all that we're used to. We're used to our kind of trips & there were alot of things we didn't get to do, being a group of 8, makes for very different touring than a go getter group of 4! That may sound harsh, but with both DS's in private school & the cost of tuition, we have to plan & budget for that one big vaca a year & yes we have a certain level of expectation - especially when it comes to our WDW trips! We did manage to split up one day & it was ur best day! I told them that we really needed some family time & that we'd meet up with them later! They weren't happy about that at all!

A few years ago, my other DB decided to go to WDW the same as us - we cancelled! LOL Seriously, there was no way on earth we were going with them! I love DB & his family, but they aren't WDW people! They didn't make it to the parks until afternoon each day & wasted their last day park tix watching movies in the food court at Pop!

Last year, VERY GOOD friends decided to go the same time as us, same resort & all! It was great because they did their thing, we did ours & we saw them everyday & shared our day hanging out at the pool! My DM & her DH have accompanied us on vaca's twice & it's great, we make arrangements to meet up every day for dinner or pool time & that way we all get to do exactly what we want everyday but we still feel like we're together.

I agree with previous poists, I'm very nonconfrontational & would have a hard time being THAT direct to tell them how you feel, but you CAN take control! You can say that you were unable to change your ressies' & say that it's important - it's a special place for you! Suggest a dinner or getting together to watch IllumiNations, etc, just to set the tone & let them know that you'd be happy to share some time with them, but this is your trip!

Best of luck to you in this very delicate situation! Sending you some :pixie: that it all works out for you!

[Cinderelley]

It will probably pass. A lot of people get caught up in the excitement of the moment, and then reality sets in later. If they aren't asking for specific details, I would just let it slide. If they do start asking, you can reiterate that you really want the trip to be just for the two of you.

[minnie04]

If your good friends with them (as you have said) Then when you speak to them again (DO NOT MENTION THE TRIP), But if it comes up and they are making plans. Just start by saying “oh have you guys decided where you’re staying?" My husband/wife and I are looking so forward to this trip together it’s going to be the first time we are ALONE in Orlando, My husband/wife has been after me to do a vacation ALONE without family. Use the blame game... Blame the other spouse for demanding ALONE time.. And if they say, well we were kind of planning to hang out. Just say 'oh my Husband/wife will kill me if we don’t make this about us he/she has been looking forward to this trip for SOOOOOO long. It’s our way of reconnecting, so please don’t be offended if we cannot make time to spend with you" I think if you keep dropping hints like that they will get the message. Don’t even through out there that you will TRY and make time to see them!!!!

[magicalmom]

If you use the phrase "second honeymoon" it would make your point with most people;)

[LudwigVonDrake]

I'd just say: "Great, maybe we can meet for dinner ONE night while you are there."

I would go with this... :mickey: