Frustrations with parents ruining the magic

[McLiberal8]

I am usually pretty good about keeping to myself while at the parks, but sometimes you can't help but hear the people around you, in queue.

Does it 'irk' anyone else when you hear parents completely ruin the magic of Disney for a child?

An example would be telling a child that the character they are about to meet isn't real, or the attraction is just a bunch of robots and actors. I overheard a dad correcting his daughter in line at TSM, when she said she was exited to see Woody and Buzz, he quickly told her that this is just a ride and isn't real.

I can understand when a child is scared, to calm fears, maybe. But why ruin the magic for a child, with an untainted imagination?

Does anyone else ever run into this? Ever want to turn around and tell the kid you're excited, too? :)

[lioness8978]

Wow... I've heard older kids say this to each other - just being smarty pants kids -but never a parent. That stinks.... I'm grown and I dont wanna know how the magic happens! Which is why I wont do the tours :mickey:.

[Ian]

That stinks.... I'd say that about sums up how I feel about it, as well.

I go out of my way with our kids to keep the magic alive. Even with DD8 who's kind of figured the whole thing out, I still don't confirm or deny things. When she talks about the characters not being real I usually say something like, "What? Why would you say that? They're real!"

I swear I'll never understand for the life of me these parents who want to impart their own adult feelings on their children. Just let them be kids for awhile for heaven's sake. They'll spend 95% of their lives being mired in adulthood ... why rush it???

[BrerGnat]

An outsider never knows the whole story. Don't judge what you overhear. You never know a parent's reasons/motivations for saying these types of things.

In addition, you might be shocked to learn that there are actually people who do NOT have "an imagination". I have a son like that. He has autism. His world (and his perception of "ours") is very black and white, and he is literal to no end. He is only six years old, and he thinks like a computer. If you try to "pretend" with him, he gets very agitated and upset.

I can imagine that one day, my son might be a dad. He'd be "that guy" telling his kids that "it's not real, it's just a ride", and then he'll probably proceed to explain the physics and mechanics of said ride. ;)

Just sayin...

[Jared]

An outsider never knows the whole story. Don't judge what you overhear. You never know a parent's reasons/motivations for saying these types of things.

In addition, you might be shocked to learn that there are actually people who do NOT have "an imagination". I have a son like that. He has autism. His world (and his perception of "ours") is very black and white, and he is literal to no end. He is only six years old, and he thinks like a computer. If you try to "pretend" with him, he gets very agitated and upset.

I can imagine that one day, my son might be a dad. He'd be "that guy" telling his kids that "it's not real, it's just a ride", and then he'll probably proceed to explain the physics and mechanics of said ride. ;)

Just sayin...
Good point, Natalie. Definitely something we should always remember whenever we become frustrated with things happening within earshot. But I absolutely understand the original poster's disappointment. Not everybody needs to have an imagination, but it does stink that a little girl with a vivid imagination would have the illusion tainted by an outsider.

[McLiberal8]

That's true, Natalie, I guess that could have been the case.

I know no one parents the same way, but when you see so much joy on the faces of children at WDW, you almost want to become an ambassador of Disney for everyone.

Just one of those few moments where it's hard for me to not be able to do so ;)

[BrerGnat]

I knew what you were trying to say, but I've had some VERY strange conversations with my son in public, and some of the looks I've gotten have really hurt my feelings. People don't know the whole story, and it just bugs me when others overhear something that doesn't sound "right" to them, and react to it personally.

No biggie, though. I get what you were saying.

I actually overheard a father say to his (probably) 3 year old son, at a museum, "Why does it always have to be about YOU? What about what I want?"

We all wanted to slap that dad...

[Aurora]

Natalie, what you didn't know is that the dad and the 3-year-old had earlier changed bodies because of a magic trick. There's no other explanation for his comment. ;)

[mom2morgan]

It's hard to say without the whole context. I have a kid that loves Disney but really likes to know how things work and how effects are created. And, I guess, some people think it is dishonest to lie to children (like letting them believe in Santa Claus) because then they don't trust you to tell them the truth. I don't particularly subscribe to that, but I can "see" the reasoning behind it.

[bdm@pga]

We've dealt with on older friend of our daughters trying to spoil the fun by saying "you know they're not real!!" and my daughter just giving me the eyes. Finally I got so tired of it I turned to him and said.."you know they are just as real as you and me, the only difference is that my imagination lets me see the character and your imagination doesn't work. I feel bad for you that you can't have enough fun that you have to spoil it for others." The mother just looked at me stunned...the boy didn't know what to say. Later on, at US, we saw spiderman...HE was so excited...I couldn't help myself...."YOU KNOW HE"S NOT REAL!!!" ...I know, I know....real mature right?! But later that trip, he came up to me and said he had more fun once he "turned on" his imagination. That's the problem...too many people...of all ages...turn of their imagination. How can you have fun in a place created by imagination if you leave yours at home?

Bottom line, when I see someone like all of you have described, it just makes me want to have even more fun and and let that child know its OK to believe.:mickey:

[lioness8978]

I swear I'll never understand for the life of me these parents who want to impart their own adult feelings on their children. Just let them be kids for awhile for heaven's sake. They'll spend 95% of their lives being mired in adulthood ... why rush it???

That's exactly how I feel. They'll have enough disappointments and reality checks when they get older, but for the children that believe in the Disney magic, let them be...

[lioness8978]

We've dealt with on older friend of our daughters trying to spoil the fun by saying "you know they're not real!!" and my daughter just giving me the eyes. Finally I got so tired of it I turned to him and said.."you know they are just as real as you and me, the only difference is that my imagination lets me see the character and your imagination doesn't work. I feel bad for you that you can't have enough fun that you have to spoil it for others." The mother just looked at me stunned...the boy didn't know what to say. Later on, at US, we saw spiderman...HE was so excited...I couldn't help myself...."YOU KNOW HE"S NOT REAL!!!" ...I know, I know....real mature right?! But later that trip, he came up to me and said he had more fun once he "turned on" his imagination. That's the problem...too many people...of all ages...turn of their imagination. How can you have fun in a place created by imagination if you leave yours at home?

Bottom line, when I see someone like all of you have described, it just makes me want to have even more fun and and let that child know its OK to believe.:mickey:

While some might not like your method:blush:, you DID get your point across and it worked! The kid obviously thought that the "adult" thing to do was tell your child "it wasnt real". But by letting him know that you, as an adult, chose to imagine it was, you gave him permission to do the same. I like the way you think :mickey:.

[Puppy Mom]

The world is filled with people who, unable to let go and enjoy themselves, want to be sure no one else does either, even a child. I feel sad for them.

[ILoveLegos]

... and then he'll probably proceed to explain the physics and mechanics of said ride. ;)

Just sayin...

What wrong with explaining the physics of a ride? :blush: I can't help it I'm a physicist! :cool:
<Just Kidding - could not resist!> :mickey:

[BrerGnat]

What wrong with explaining the physics of a ride? :blush: I can't help it I'm a physicist! :cool:
<Just Kidding - could not resist!> :mickey:

Nothing wrong with it. My son has quite a knack for physics and mechanical engineering already. My dad (a physics major in college, and an electrical engineer by trade) says that he'll probably be ready for MIT by the time he's 16. :D

His current fascination is watching first person videos of roller coaster rides (Disney ones) on You Tube and then taking his stuffed dog on a "ride" whereby he follows all the correct turns, dips, and loops. He has about 5 different coasters "memorized". He's trying to build them out of wooden planks, legos, and marble run parts. ;)

[ILoveLegos]

Nothing wrong with it. My son has quite a knack for physics and mechanical engineering already. My dad (a physics major in college, and an electrical engineer by trade) says that he'll probably be ready for MIT by the time he's 16. :D

His current fascination is watching first person videos of roller coaster rides (Disney ones) on You Tube and then taking his stuffed dog on a "ride" whereby he follows all the correct turns, dips, and loops. He has about 5 different coasters "memorized". He's trying to build them out of wooden planks, legos, and marble run parts. ;)

Your son sounds like a very promising engineer! Keep encouraging him - he will do well!

[twinboyz]

.

I can understand when a child is scared, to calm fears, maybe. But why ruin the magic for a child, with an untainted imagination?
Does anyone else ever run into this? Ever want to turn around and tell the kid you're excited, too? :)
:ditto:

I always want to turn around and say that. :blush: A big part of Disney is the magic and believing. That's why it's so great to watch a child's excitement.

[Belster]

I am usually pretty good about keeping to myself while at the parks, but sometimes you can't help but hear the people around you, in queue.

Does it 'irk' anyone else when you hear parents completely ruin the magic of Disney for a child?

An example would be telling a child that the character they are about to meet isn't real, or the attraction is just a bunch of robots and actors. I overheard a dad correcting his daughter in line at TSM, when she said she was exited to see Woody and Buzz, he quickly told her that this is just a ride and isn't real.

I can understand when a child is scared, to calm fears, maybe. But why ruin the magic for a child, with an untainted imagination?

Does anyone else ever run into this? Ever want to turn around and tell the kid you're excited, too? :)


I could not agree more! I have a DD13 and when she says santa is not real I always tell her. "you have to believe to receive." The same goes for WDW if my kids at any time say anything that ruins the magic they simply cannot ever visit the most magical place in the world the next time we go. Believing is 100% of the fun! The parents need to loosen up. :mickey:

[Jim&AngieMarriner]

I guess I am a wierd one. I have two different sides at Disney. The science geek in me really wants to see how it works. It doesnt matter what it is I look and try to figure it out. BUT I look at the effect at the same time with my inner Child's eyes and marvel at the magic. For me, knowing that there is a guy behind Push with a voice modulator and a remote control doesnt take away any of the joy of interacting with that crazy trash can. I know that Mary Poppins is just some lady in a costume, doesnt stop me from dropping everything to RUN and get my picture taken with her. Its the same thing when you go to a movie, to enjoy it you have to leave your disbelief at the door.

[sommer]

I have mixed feelings regarding this. I guess because my 2 older children are so different. I guess you have to adjust your parenting to your child. My DS7 asked on EVERY SINGLE RIDE whether the people were robots or real people. He needed to hear that they were robots. He wanted to know how everything worked. I wish i could've told him. :) My DD9 just took it all in and went with it. MY DS7 was also one to cry before rides because he got nervous, only to find that he LOVED them once he was on them. Over and over. I'm sure people thought we were horrible parents dragging him onto rides - if only they could've seen him smiling coming off of the rides (& some shows).

[Janmac]

Natalie, what you didn't know is that the dad and the 3-year-old had earlier changed bodies because of a magic trick. There's no other explanation for his comment. ;)

:rotfl:

Jan

[Ian]

My DS7 was also one to cry before rides because he got nervous, only to find that he LOVED them once he was on them. Over and over. I'm sure people thought we were horrible parents dragging him onto rides - if only they could've seen him smiling coming off of the rides (& some shows).Ha ha ha! I know exactly how you feel about that. DD8 is the same way and we've gotten some of the same judgemental stares in lines.

[biodtl]

My DS7 was also one to cry before rides because he got nervous, only to find that he LOVED them once he was on them. Over and over. I'm sure people thought we were horrible parents dragging him onto rides - if only they could've seen him smiling coming off of the rides (& some shows).
When my daughter rode Test Track the first time, she came off the ride crying and everyone was looking at us like we forced that poor scared child on the ride. But what they didn't know is that she was crying because it was OVER.

[TheVBs]

I could easily see there being a good reason for the parent telling their child that (I hope!). However, I would hope that if a parent is going to express that, they make sure they're not ruining the magic for other kids who are within earshot!

[TikiLounger]

I could easily see there being a good reason for the parent telling their child that (I hope!). However, I would hope that if a parent is going to express that, they make sure they're not ruining the magic for other kids who are within earshot!

You know, as I was reading through this thread, I was thinking to same thing. Whether we agree with what a parent says to their child or not is kinda immaterial. People really need to be aware of who's standing close by. Say whatever you want to your own child, just don't ruin the fun for mine!

[nqi2]

Has anyone thought that the child has to be told that things aren't real to be able to enjoy it. My DD6 will imagine extremely scary things with her wild imagination to the point that she scares herself out of trying new things. We have to reinforce her that these things aren't "real" so that she can actually enjoy the ride, show or character and not make herself sick to her stomach by stewing over it.

The old saying don't judge a book by it's cover comes to mind. Now also realize that we try to be completely discreet about telling her these things so that we don't ruin it for someone else.:mickey:

[Ramblingman]

We always wind up talking to kids about how excited we are, or what is about to happen. That is the norm for us.

I've heard the occassional conversation where someone is attempting to burst someone else's bubble. We'll wind up turning to another kid within earshot and whispering about how they don't know the truth, or something like that.

We were so involved with out own kids through all of their childhood, and wound up talking so easily with other kids, that it just comes natural to both the wife and me. We'll pretty much talk to anyone at WDW, from the hotel to the busses to restaurants to waiting in line for rides.

Any chance to spread the Magic just keeps it Magical for you.

[MNNHFLTX]

When I first read the topic title, I was thinking about parents acting badly, yelling at their kids and ruining the magic for them that way (because boy, do I feel bad for the kids that happens to!)

As far as people telling their kids "it's not real", I can see how it would be necessary in some cases. Imagination is a wonderful thing, but not knowing what to expect or the fear that something is real and not fantasy can cause a lot of anxiety in some children.

[Becky2005]

I can imagine that one day, my son might be a dad. He'd be "that guy" telling his kids that "it's not real, it's just a ride", and then he'll probably proceed to explain the physics and mechanics of said ride. ;)

Just sayin...

My oldest son doesn't have autism but he would probably be the exact same way with the explaining the physics! I always said he was the way too logical for his age child who *always* wanted to know how something worked...if he was old enough he would SO be on the backstage tours wanting to know all the ins & outs of things. He definitely knows characters are "not real" but enjoys them just as much as the next person. I don't think he would say anything to someone UNLESS they were scared (he tried that when he was in preschool because he has a big heart and felt bad that a little girl was terrified in his classroom at a party of their visitor! -- He had already figured out it was an actor and wanted her to not be so scared & join the fun).

I just don't worry about it because unless people know any situation for more than a couple minutes in line - who knows why they say what they say.

[r4kids]

I knew what you were trying to say, but I've had some VERY strange conversations with my son in public, and some of the looks I've gotten have really hurt my feelings. People don't know the whole story, and it just bugs me when others overhear something that doesn't sound "right" to them, and react to it personally.

No biggie, though. I get what you were saying.

I actually overheard a father say to his (probably) 3 year old son, at a museum, "Why does it always have to be about YOU? What about what I want?"

We all wanted to slap that dad...

I absolutely get what your saying and agree. We became foster parents in Aug for the first time to 3 little ones. We already have 4 of our own, all 3 have behavior problems, issues, and fears, which is to be expected. However sometimes the looks we get or the comments are made are very hurtful. We went in Nov with them and had to explain they were real ppl in the costumes. Otherwise they panicked. Some around us thought it was terrible but that's how we had to deal, and don't get me started on mealtimes!!!

[retiredfigment]

That rates right up there with parents who won't allow their kids to look at anything without telling them they are wasting time and need to hurry up.

[jonahbear2006]

that stuff doesnt bother me. I dont really care if the parents decide they want their children to have no suspension of disbelief. That is their perrogative just as much as their decision to homeschool/public school their child. It's whatever and is your right as a parent to raise your child to be just like you if you wish. It does stink! I agree. But I am the mom who jumps up and down when the booking goes through, runs through the gate cheering on day one, cries like a baby at the parades and fireworks because her emotions get the best of her, and comes home with 1500+ photos of the trip and a reservation for her next trip already. Life is short and messy and often times ugly. I really love believing that all that doesnt exist, for two weeks a year.

[KatieDuck22]

Ruining the magic should be concidered a crime. Of all places families should pull it together to keep the magic alive. I know working at the little gym it's practically a requirement to stick to the imaginitive side no matter how far fetched it is! COME ON PEOPLE ITS DISNEY WORLD ACCEPT THE MAGIC!:mickey:

[disneylovinmom]

I don't understand why people who do not want their children to believe in "magic" would even bother to take their kids to Disney. Disney World is a place to go to leave all of your adult worries in the parking lot and just be a kid, no matter your age. I suppose some people just can't do that and don't understand why anybody would.

[BrerGnat]

I don't understand why people who do not want their children to believe in "magic" would even bother to take their kids to Disney.

There's a lot more to Disney World than just "magic".

Just because someone doesn't believe in "magic" or want to pretend does not mean that person cannot enjoy WDW. :mickey:

[crltkcagle]

Wait a minute! You mean it isn't real? :rub: I can't imagine telling my kids these things. I mean yes they are aware that the big dinosaur isn't real but a robot however such things should be against the law to discuss while in Disney World! :secret: Part of Disney is the MAGIC! :magic:

Where else can you find pirates, :pirate:and fairies :tink:and chipmunks :dale:running around? Where else will a ghost hitch hike a ride home with you? :hmghost: And where else can you eat dinner and have a life size mouse come to your table? :mjump: Only in Disney! Come on people lets keep the magic alive!

[MNNHFLTX]

I don't think there's any cookie-cutter approach to visiting Disney World--it's special to all different types of people for different types of things. If a parent chooses to promote the fantasy to their kids, that's okay, but if a parent takes a different approach (for whatever reason) that's okay too. The magic is in kids and parents spending time together and making memories. :mickey:

[RBrooksC]

I think it all depends on the ride. My son is five and is excited about The Haunted Mansion and the Tower of Terror. However, he is concerned about the "ghosts." For that I tell him it is make-believe.

For other things I don't even mention it.

[MushuGrl]

When my daughter rode Test Track the first time, she came off the ride crying and everyone was looking at us like we forced that poor scared child on the ride. But what they didn't know is that she was crying because it was OVER.

Biodtl, I experienced that on my last trip! I was on the bus next to a woman with a little guy, must about been about four, just HOWLING. I was thinking to myself "Yep, naptime for somebody"...and about that time he yelled "I DON'T WANNA LEAVE DISNEY WORLD!" It actually WAS nap time and he didn't want to leave!

[WDWCrazyKaren]

One of my daughters, at age five, gave me a big yawn and a look of disgust when I told her to answer the phone for our wake up call. I wanted her to hear Mickey...she advised me "Mom, it's just a recording. Now let me go back to sleep". She ruined the magic for ME! :secret:

[momof3+twins]

It doesn't bother me. It is their kid, they have their own ideas about raising their kids. Now, if they are loud and ruining it for other kids in line....that is a different story!