Friend driving me nuts!

[armywife]

As you know we are planning our trip to Disney. My DH has never been there and my BF and her 2 daughters will be joining us. I am planning the trip. My BF does not understand why I am planning our days, she thinks we should just be able to "GO". We have 4 days at the end of August. HELP!

[forever a child]

Go ahead and plan your days. When she says "So what do we want to do first?" You'll have your plan ready to pull out! :thumbsup:

[faline]

By all means, create your plan. If she'd rather wing it, you can meet up with her during the day. If she's at a complete loss as to what to do, you've got your plan ready to go!

[Dulcee]

The first time I went with my fiance (his first trip, my can't even count how many) he could not understand why I was so paranoid about planning/reservations etc.

So I stopped harassing him and just planned what I knew was best. I made the reservations, planned where to be in the mornings, evenings, shows when etc. Once we got there and I got "So where we headed" I pulled out my plan and off we went.

Make your plan and leave your friend out of it until you arrive. Once she realizes how big the world is and how little time 4 days is to do it in she'll appreciate your plan (just don't be surprised if she doesn't want to admit that!)

[floridamom]

Perhaps you could refer your friend to Intercot so she can read discussions and trip reports to see for herself just how much there is to know and plan. Then she will be thankful to have you as a guide!

We just met up at MK with extended family who were down for the weekend and they said they saw and did more in the 3 hours we spent with them than they had the whole previous day. And that was by following my DD8's personal touring plan. :mickey: We have trained her well.

[PrettyMinnie]

In my experience, most people don't understand the need to plan things out (parks, food, rides etc.) until they are there and they realize there is so much to do and they don't know where to start! Your friend will be grateful you are helping her maximize her time in the parks! Trust me, it won't seem unnecessary to her when you are there!!!

Happy Planning! :minnie:

[dnickels]

Not everyone is a big planner so your friend may be more of a go-with-the-flow type. If you get there and hand her an itinerary of..
-Pirates of Caribbean at 9:40
-Jungle Cruise at 10:20
-5 minute bathroom break
-get fastpass for BTMRR
....
she might go postal.

Anytime you're traveling with others you've gotta find a nice balance otherwise you'll both drive each other nuts. It's their vacation too and if her idea for the afternoon is to maybe lay by the pool or maybe go tour the hotels or maybe visit one of the parks then she should be able to enjoy her vacation that way also without feeling like she's ruining your plans (or vice versa).

Keep the planning to the basics, dinner reservations, that sort of thing, then if she wants to go with your family the whole time she can.

[MarkC]

I feel for you. We took my brother and his family with us in June once- a busy time. I told them it would be busy but we could manage if we got to the parks early, etc. So the first day my sister-in-law was late to get going. We got to MK and were headed to Splash Mountain. She decides she wants to stop and shop instead, holding up 11 of us while hundreds of people walked by us to get ahead. That was it. We didn't wait for her the rest of the trip. I was not going to ruin my vacation for someone else. We've had other friends and neighbors go with no planning and then later complain about the crowds. They listened to none of our advice.

Go ahead and make the plans. Tell her that they can "go with the flow" but they will be standing in long lines for no reason. She still may not by it but you've got to try.

[Momto3littlemice]

I have to admit that I am ultra-planner but have some family members that aren't. So, in some instances it works best to just admit that it would be stressful for you to not plan it. If it is stressful to her to plan it then you may want to suggest that it is fine to separate for part of your stay. Perhaps you could break up for the first few morning hours (when you will likely be getting short lines, grabbing FPs etc) and then getting back together for the afternoon when a slower pace makes more sense.

There is nothing worse than a constant push-pull during a vacation. It can create stress for both the planners and non-planners among us!:mickey:

[MississippiDisneyFreak]

I'm another planner but I remember my first trip in 2003 my sister was planning everything and I thought she was being obsessive but I was glad for her plans once we got there...Like the other posters said it is just ignorance. You really don't know what the world is like until you've been there.

[NY GOOFY]

When I first looked at your post I assumed BF stood for boyfriend. I was shocked that you were bringing your DH and BF on the same trip. :mickey:

[forever a child]

When I first looked at your post I assumed BF stood for boyfriend. I was shocked that you were bringing your DH and BF on the same trip. :mickey:

:crowd:

[steamboat willy]

If you go to Disney enough, you know you will miss TOO MUCH if you don't plan. If you make ADR, you don't want to be in the MK if your eating at Yak and Yati...
With some fireworks now on ONLY certain days, better plan to be in DS on the 1 night that they are done during your trip.
I'm a big planner and have been hard at it before logging onto INTCOT today.
See my post on My Excel Sheet today.
Keep planning, others will appreciate and thank you later.

Steamboat Willy

[ransam]

whenever my sister and friend and I go, it's funny. My sister is a planner...to the minute planner. My friend is definitly a "go w/ the flow" kind of guy....me, i'm in between...I like to plan a little, but have no problems changing. it's a good mix actually.

[beksy]

I'm a planner. My mom and sister always laughed at me and my famous spreadsheet that I have saved to my desktop. They thought getting up early when I am not a morning person to make ADRs and calling 5 minutes before 7 just to make sure my clock wasn't wrong was crazy. But, once we got there and they got to see all the fireworks and shows and eat in the castle and the other places they wanted, they quit laughing. Now I know to just ask for input on lodging and ADRs and then I plan the rest. It keeps me sane and they don't really know I have a "plan" since I just take charge! :secret: This trip will be a little different since it is my DF's first trip. He is laughing at the planning but is getting involved too since he says I'm the expert. Its nice to finally be appreciated! :princess::notworth:

[armywife]

I have to make this trip special, as soon as my DH heals he has orders for Afganistan and I am terrified.

[MyDisneyworld]

We have been going with extended family every year and they just don't understand until they get there. We just hand them our schedule and say this is what we are doing today so if you want to join us your more then welcome, if not have a great day. We generally would just meet up for meals, parades, fireworks and certain rides. The funny thing is we would meet at say lunch and run down all these cool things we did already and they would say we did one ride. Everyone has their own idea of a vacation so enjoy.....

[MarkC]

We have been going with extended family every year and they just don't understand until they get there. We just hand them our schedule and say this is what we are doing today so if you want to join us your more then welcome, if not have a great day. We generally would just meet up for meals, parades, fireworks and certain rides. The funny thing is we would meet at say lunch and run down all these cool things we did already and they would say we did one ride. Everyone has their own idea of a vacation so enjoy.....

Couldn't have said it better.

[Ramblingman]

I think the more someone goes, the more they understand how a plan helps. It doesn't have to be a plan down to the minute, but mapping out which parks have extra hours, setting up a couple of dinner reservations, things like these make it all the better.

If you explain to your BF (have to admit that threw me for a minute too) that by making reservations at this place, you'll have good seating for the fireworks and won't be squished in a crowd, you will stand a better chance of winning her over.

One added bonus - my wife does the excel spreadsheet thing (like others) and it gets her and the children excited, building up the anticipation.

[Magic Smiles]

I have to agree with your BF. This upcoming trip will be our 6th trip and we still don't plan anything other than a few ADRs. DH and DS don't even like that, but they do understand that if we want to eat at some of the sit down restaurants we need ADRs. We just go with the flow and do whatever we feel like when we get up. Mind you we don't go during the peak seasons.

[Janmac]

We brought newbies - my grandniece's paternal grandparents - on our last trip to the World. My sister (grandniece's maternal grandmother) and my niece and I have been to WDW a few times. We'd kinda forgotten what being a newbie was like.

I'm the planner - not quite spreadsheet but I do factor in EMH days, and have ADRs for all suppers. We had some difficulty in getting input from the newbies but I start planning months out, so eventually got the info.

I started understanding the depth of the problem when we were at Disney and Granny said, "I thought we'd just walk across the street and be there. I had no idea it was this BIG!!"

Papa also thought he would not be getting his money's worth on the park admissions unless they toured all day. We returned to the resort after lunch, leaving them to tour on their own. They were back at the resort by 2 pm and on subsequent days, they left when we did. Granny said it was too much walking to stay all day. She said, "I see now why you leave."

We had the worst time getting food preferences from them, but after eating several meals at Epcot - Biergarten, San Angel Inn, Marrakesh (which made them nervous at first but is their favorite now) and Coral Reef, they're as much into the restaurants as we are.

After 5 days, they had seen most of MK and Epcot and some of DHS. We left AK and the water parks for another trip. They had a much better appreciation of the term Disney World. Now they know it's not your regular amusement park.

We knew we had them hooked when Granny said, about a week after she got home, "I'm having ride withdrawals!"

Concentrate on what your husband likes, and what you want to do, and go from there. If you keep your focus on what's most important, you'll have a great trip. As some of the previous posters have said, explain (after you get there) to your BF that this is what you'll be doing today and she and her family can accompany you or not, as she chooses. Keep in mind that your BF hasn't got anything to compare to. She will probably have a great time, no matter what.

Jan

[AmandaChan]

We like to 'go' to some extent but any seasoned disney world go-er knows that you have to have some structure. As in if you don't plan which night you're going to be in MK you might miss a specific parade or show that might be very special for the kids. But I agree with the others, maybe you can secretly plan out something more specific and not really tell her. Just say 'we should maybe go to this park this day because of this show' or 'this park on this day is more enjoyable because more people go to MK on these days'.

my inlaws (MIL, BIL, his fiance and niece and nephew) are coming with dh and I this year and they are BEGGING us to plan it out because they KNOW that we KNOW what we're doing and they want to get the best experience they can get. They want to be shown around. But it will be very different this time around because we'll have kids and by all means things will not go the way they used to.

good luck

[conan617]

Wow! After reading this thread I am more nervous than usual. I've been to WDW but it was 20 years ago and my parents did all the planning.

I am in the middle of planning our Sept trip for my DW, DS, and DD. I have a spreadsheet started with Park Hours, EMH, fireworks, shows and Special events (MNSSHP). I realize that we won't be able to see "everything" and I don't have a problem with that, but I don't want to be as someone mentioned above about meeting up for lunch with the rest of their they had only been on one ride.

What is the best way to "attack" the parks so that I don't spend hours waiting. I've been reading lots of threads, reviewing maps and highlighting must sees. The FPs will be a new experience, but I plan to utilize them. How else should I be strategizing?

Thanks to all of the wonderful Intercotees for helping this nervous Dad make some magic for his family.:(

[Disney_pups2]

I agree with most of what has been said. Most Disney first timers don't understand the calliber of park they are about to attend. They are use to paying a days admission, riding a bunch of pumped up roller coasters and returning home. I have an older son that we adopted at age 17. He has never been to a place like Disney and quite frankly I am worried about him also. He isn't easily impressed and he doesn't get excited easily nor understand the importance of planning a trip like this so that it goes well. In his defense, He has NEVER had this kind of opportunity until our family and even though I did have the opportunity time and time again growing up, I didn't understand the planning behind it until I was much older. It all came naturally to me..lol. It made sense to start at one side and work around and erked me when others didn't get that and wanted to run here.. hop there... etc. So, just plan and then just do. If she gets nasty or uptight then decide ahead of time what your reaction will be. If she is asking too much of you that you will NOT enjoy your trip then separate for parts of the day and see if that works. I know, I know.. I hate that idea too..but, survival of the mousiest!

[DreamFinder2]

What is the best way to "attack" the parks so that I don't spend hours waiting. I've been reading lots of threads, reviewing maps and highlighting must sees. The FPs will be a new experience, but I plan to utilize them. How else should I be strategizing?

First of all, deep breaths :D

Secondly, although many things will have changed since your last trip, I've noticed that going to WDW is sort of like riding a bike. There was a span of about 15 years where I didn't make any trips down there. When I returned (honeymoon), I found that I was just as "at home" as I was 15 years prior. Yes, you'll need to have some discussions about what new attractions people want to experience, and what new restaurants you want to try. Otherwise, you'll feel like you never left :cloud9:

Lastly, your best strategy is to continue to be a loyal Intercot member :thumbsup:

[kemps@wdw]

Plannng the entire trip minute by minute may be a bit too much, but some planning is definitely necessary if you want to have an enjoyable time. At the very least, you should have all you ADRs in place. And most certainly any dinner shows or character dining should be booked early.

[LVT]

Especially to Conan 617 Go early early early and then take pm break and NAP. Then go and enjoy rollercoasters in the starlight.

For the Newbies I quote the Unofficial Guide
WDW is the size of Manhatten. Many of us end up walking 5-9 miles per day. ( I think that this web site is splendid resource_THANK YOU ALL)

[mdricks]

I travel yearly with between 1-3 friends who are go with the flow types. I plan the whole thing out and stand ready to fill in the gaps when "the flow" doesn't. I make a ressie for lunch and dinner every day and if it doesn't look like we will make it I give a quick call and cancel. I always send out an email to everybody with sugestions of things we might want to do (golf for example) and set a time that I like. My friends have learned to appreciate"plan b" although we probaly don't utilize a third of my plans. It has been my experience that go with the flow types are less "adventerous souls" and more "followers looking for a leader".

I do the cooking at home and when people ask me why I like doing that I reply "because I always get what I want for dinner"

Being the planner is no different. We all know that once the enormity of disney hits your friend, you will be the calm in the storm (and you will be doing it your way, bonus!)

[#1donaldfan]

When I first looked at your post I assumed BF stood for boyfriend. I was shocked that you were bringing your DH and BF on the same trip. :mickey:

THATS WHAT I THOUGHT !!!! :thedolls:

[caryrae]

This upcoming trip will be our 6th trip and we still don't plan anything other than a few ADRs. DH and DS don't even like that, but they do understand that if we want to eat at some of the sit down restaurants we need ADRs. We just go with the flow and do whatever we feel like when we get up. Mind you we don't go during the peak seasons.

I am with you, we have been 12 or 13 times and not once planned out the trip and have done just fine. You don't need to plan to have an enjoyable time. It's so nice to not have to be somewhere at a certain time.

[WLfans]

We plan out which parks, then which Fast Passes to get first. We always book the dining before hand too.
There are usually just too many people there and too many things to see. If you were there for two weeks you could wing it. 99% people who come back with bad comments never planned a thing. Nothing at all. One complained about not getting into any restaurants during their entire stay. On off times of the year you can get away without some planning. I do say though you can say I'll be on SMW at 10:00 then Peter Pan by 10:45. You may have to bounce around the lands a little.

[Aisling]

SO, I'm getting the feeling that a plan is a good idea. This is our first time to WDW and I've made ADR's, booked Fantasmic!, dinner with Cinderella in the castle, Cirque du Soleil, and planned which days we'll be going to which parks.

Should I plan what rides to go on in a certain order? What else do I need to research and book?

Where do I get that information?

Yikes! I thought I'd done enough, but reading your posts, maybe not.

We're used to Disneyland where we go for a few hours, ride on or two rides and go home. This is a whole new world. :mickey:

[Puppy Mom]

My BF and I swear by "The Unofficial Guide-Walt Disney World 2011"

It is a guidebook that is VERY thoroughly researched. It even has plans for touring each park depending on how much time you have.