Taking DM on a "terminal" trip need help

[Disney Hungarian]

My mother 64 was in an automobile accident 2 years ago. She was in a coma for a month and a half. She lives with me and I am her caregiver 24/7. I am her 42 yr old son. She is physically and mentally handi-capable. She has dementia and early onset Alzheimers. She took me on my first trip to DL in '72 and my first trip to DW in '84. Both of us have been to both parks numerous times. She has been asking me to take her for months. I have been waiting for her to get better physically. I asked the doctors what they thought about her going last week. They told me "you better make it soon." She is fading fast mentally. I got on the phone Monday and spent hours trying to book a room at AS S. Finally got a package booked with a guaranteed roll-in shower. I called back on Wednesday just to confirm everything was still a go. Spent hours going round and round with them because they told me they only have HC rooms with one king size bed. Well I would kind of like to have my own bed. If she wakes up in a strange place next to a strange man, I could get hurt and that is a distress she could live without. Finally they moved us to the ASM an we now have 2 beds and a roll-in shower. She was nice enough to point out that she wasn't going to charge me for changing resorts? Anyway, This may be my mom's last trip to DW and I want to make this as magical as possible for her. It has gotten off to a bad start and I am an emotional wreck already. Our trip starts with our driving to DW this Sunday. Not a lot of time. I am asking for any advice to make her trip as magical as possible. She is in a wheelchair and is a high fall risk. She can walk about 15 feet at a time and can not do any steps or stairs either up or down. She gets frightened and confused very easily. She loves children and talks to everyone she sees.

[Disney4us2]

First of all... Welcome to Intercot:thumbsup:

I think it is wonderful for you to make this magical trip with your mother.

I would suggest seeing the shows at the parks. You know her the best and are able to judge if she could handle any of the attractions (rides). The parks also have companion restrooms so you can take care of those needs.

You mentioned that she is a high fall risk. Is she ok in the bed? If you are not sure in a strange setting, you can request bed rails.

Have a great trip, you are such a wonderful son to make these memories.... take lots of pictures:mickey:

[Disney Hungarian]

Thank you,
She is pretty good in the bed, yet this will be a strange environment for her. I will ask for the rails. I did not know they were available. She is disoriented for about 20 minutes after she wakes up. I usually wake up at 5am and just wait to help her. This being a strange environment has me a little nervous.

[cer]

What a great gift! Disney is a great place to just go and be. It is magical just to be there, even if you are doing it at a different pace than everyone else.

Our thoughts and prayers will be with you as you go on Sunday. :mickey:

[Disney Hungarian]

It is a magical place. My mom asks me every morning if she is really going or did she dream it. :mickey:

[DisneyPrincess21]

It is a magical place. My mom asks me every morning if she is really going or did she dream it. :mickey:

Oh, how sweet. :)

I feel for you, my grandmother also suffered from dementia and I was her caregiver and I know how quickly they can fade.

I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are taking her to WDW.

I don't know what "stage" your mother is in and what she would like to do, but I know my grandmother had a tendency to enjoy what children enjoy doing, and I think that if we had a chance to have taken her to WDW, she probably would have enjoyed getting her picture taken with the characters, especially the princess' and Prince Charming. She got very girly towards the end and loved dressing up and wearing lots of jewelery and I think she would have gotten a kick out of seeing all the princess' in their beautiful dresses. I also believe she would have tried to steal Prince Charming away from Cinderella, :secret: She also became quite the flirt.

Maybe your mother might enjoy going in the attraction "One man's dream" at Hollywood Studios, it is a walk through attraction that is handicap accessible that shows the life of Walt Disney, and also has a movie at the end of how he started Disney. That might be a calming attraction for her.

I hope you both have a wonderful time and have many happy memories of this trip.


:tink:
I Hope You Have A Magical Vacation! :wave:

[Disney Hungarian]

Mother has become very girly. We went and had her hair done on Wednesday and bought new outfits for every day of the trip today (including new shoes):) Unfortunately, the 2 attractions she said that she wanted to see when we went Sunday were It's a small world and One mans dream. Both are closed for refurb according to Intercot. She doesn't understand. She keeps telling me that Disney never closes when I try to explain that we won't be able to ride It's a small world.

[DisneyPrincess21]

Mother has become very girly. We went and had her hair done on Wednesday and bought new outfits for every day of the trip today (including new shoes):) Unfortunately, the 2 attractions she said that she wanted to see when we went Sunday were It's a small world and One mans dream. Both are closed for refurb according to Intercot. She doesn't understand. She keeps telling me that Disney never closes when I try to explain that we won't be able to ride It's a small world.

Oh man! I am so sorry about that. That really stinks! I know it can be very difficult to explain to them why they can't do something, So my suggestion, would be to avoid talking about those attractions and try to avoid going by them. Maybe she will be so excited to be in WDW she will be too distracted to ask. Or if she does bring it up you could try telling her that the ride is broken and they have to fix it, or something to that effect.

I don't know what your money situation is like, but have you thought about taking her to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique inside Cinderella's Castle? I have heard of a person on here who took their elderly grandmother to visit and she had a wonderful time. Since your mother is girlie like my grandmother was, I am sure your mom would absolutely be thrilled to be made into a real princess. :princess: I know my grandmother would have been smiling from ear to ear. :)

[Disney Hungarian]

... Or if she does bring it up you could try telling her that the ride is broken and they have to fix it, or something to that effect.

I don't know what your money situation is like, but have you thought about taking her to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique inside Cinderella's Castle? I have heard of a person on here who took their elderly grandmother to visit and she had a wonderful time. Since your mother is girlie like my grandmother was, I am sure your mom would absolutely be thrilled to be made into a real princess. :princess: I know my grandmother would have been smiling from ear to ear. :)

Thank you, Both are great ideas. I have been reading the Intercot message boards for years. I have never had to post here before and I am very thankful for all the information and advice.:grouphug:

[cather74]

I don't have any advice...I just thought you should know you are an amazing son.:angel:

[EpcotChic23]

I am sorry I don't have any advice but I just want to wish you a magical trip. No matter what you do it will be a memory you will keep with you forever and no matter what you do you 2 will have a great time.:mickey:

[BraddyB]

If anyone should get a surprise upgrade it should be you. Hoping this trip goes as smooth as possible for you with IASW opening up ahead of schedule. Enjoy your time with your mom and savor every moment. :mickey:

[Disney Hungarian]

Thank you everyone! Just had the oil changed in the car for the trip. Mom is getting so excited now. She just told me she doesn't want to wait till Sunday.:mickey:

[DisneyPrincess21]

Mom is getting so excited now. She just told me she doesn't want to wait till Sunday.:mickey:

Awww, that is so sweet! I can't wait to hear how your trip went. Please tell us how it goes when you get back. :wave:

[Disney Hungarian]

Awww, that is so sweet! I can't wait to hear how your trip went. Please tell us how it goes when you get back. :wave:

I will definitely post a trip re-cap. I will also post pictures on-line if anyone would like to see them, just let me know. :rocks:

[Disney4us2]

Awww, that is so sweet! I can't wait to hear how your trip went. Please tell us how it goes when you get back. :wave:

Same here... would love to hear all about your trip.:mickey:

[Joannelet]

This is the sweetest thing ever! I hope you and your mom have a very magical trip!!!
Would love to hear how it went when you get back!!!

[ElenitaB]

How wonderful... I'm sending loads of pixie dust for a magical trip for you and your mom.

[DisneyPrincess21]

I will definitely post a trip re-cap. I will also post pictures on-line if anyone would like to see them, just let me know. :rocks:

I would love to see pictures :thumbsup:

[TheDuckRocks]

Your story has touched my heart, may you both have a truely wonderful trip. This may be a difficult trip for you now but the memories with your mom will last you forever. Please post the pictures as I'd love to see them.

[Disney Hungarian]

We leave tomorrow headed for WDW. Mom's excitement level is the highest I have seen it since her accident. I'm so glad I decided to do this.

I plan to take the laptop and will post pictures to a set on Flickr, time permitting. Can I post a link to it here in this thread or should I just PM the people that want to see the photos?

[Sylvia]

Your post really got to me. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and a wish in my heart that your trip will be everything you want it to be. And a wish that your Mother will have the time of her life.

I have memories of a similar trip with my Mother - although it was in 2001, I still relive many of the crazy and wonderful things we did on that last trip. I know you will too.

My Mother loved interacting with the characters. Chip and Dale once played "squeeze the lemon" with her. Each sat on an arm of her wheelchair, with Mom in the middle. If you think she can handle it, why not have her meet some of her favorite characters? Don't forget to take photographs.

Mom also loved to people-watch. There are many quiet areas in the parks which are perfect spots for a snack or for just enjoying the atmosphere (sights, sounds, "street" performers, etc.). This is the perfect way to take a break, but still be surrounded by the magic. And, don't forget to have special treats to bring out the kid in both of you, such as a Mickey bar (or 2, or 3, or 4, etc.).

Take advantage of Photopass and you'll have some great photos of the two of you together.

I would also love to see the photographs.

Have a wonderful time. Lots of pixie dust is coming your way.

[cer]

We leave tomorrow headed for WDW. Mom's excitement level is the highest I have seen it since her accident. I'm so glad I decided to do this.

I plan to take the laptop and will post pictures to a set on Flickr, time permitting. Can I post a link to it here in this thread or should I just PM the people that want to see the photos?

I am pretty sure folks around here have posted links to their pics before within a thread.

Would love to see the pictures.

So excited for you! Y'all are there NOW!!! :mickey:

[Disney Hungarian]

Trip update.

We arrived at ASM on Monday at 9am. Got our tickets and were assured we would have a room with 2 beds and a roll in shower. We went to EPCOT and mom had a blast. We left EPCOT and went back to the hotel at 7pm to unpack and then we had planned to go to MK to watch the electrical parade at 9pm (mom's favorite) and then watch Wishes at 10pm. MK had extra magic hours that night and we planned to stay as long as we could.

Well when we got to ASM. We toted all the luggage and got mom settled. I then checked the bathroom. To my utter shock and dismay there was a regular tub. I was beyond frustrated. I went to the front desk and calmly asked to speak to a supervisor. Long story short. We were transferred to the Beach Club resort. We checked into the room at 11pm and missed the parade and fireworks, but mom said she felt like a princess. She loved the room and we are on the second floor of the main building with a full balcony and view of the pool and Boardwalk.

We went to AK this morning then to HS and a quick trip to the room to get her some warmer clothes. We then walk to EPCOT and since the wind was blowing and mom was cold, I remembered that Hector at the new San Angel Inn on the lake had invited us to dine and watch the fireworks when we inquired about reservations on Monday. The restaurant has only been open 3 weeks and will not start taking reservations till the 16th. So, I take mom there and Hector remembers mom. We walk straight in and the place was packed. They give us the next table with a view. We eat dinner and then they turn the lights down. We had an amazing view or Illuminations and mom cried she loved it so much. Hector checked on us during the fireworks to make sure mom was enjoying the show and gave her a pin to wear. This has been an incredible trip so far and I am so happy for mom and the memories I will have forever of this trip.:mickey:

[badkitty]

Your trip sounds amazing. I actually cried reading your report. So touching. I'm so glad you are able to make these special memories with your mom. What a great treat to be upgraded to the BC. So sorry you missed the MK activities but hopefully you will have an opportunity later in the trip.

Thanks for the report. :mickey:

[cer]

Thank you for the report!

Glad they got your room sorted out. Sorry that happened- but cool that you are at Beach Club!

Sounds like you are having a marvelous time! :mickey:

[Joannelet]

I am sooo happy for you and your mom!!!
Sounds like a MEMORABLE time you are having with her!! Love it!!! :)

[DisneyPrincess21]

Trip update.

We arrived at ASM on Monday at 9am. Got our tickets and were assured we would have a room with 2 beds and a roll in shower. We went to EPCOT and mom had a blast. We left EPCOT and went back to the hotel at 7pm to unpack and then we had planned to go to MK to watch the electrical parade at 9pm (mom's favorite) and then watch Wishes at 10pm. MK had extra magic hours that night and we planned to stay as long as we could.

Well when we got to ASM. We toted all the luggage and got mom settled. I then checked the bathroom. To my utter shock and dismay there was a regular tub. I was beyond frustrated. I went to the front desk and calmly asked to speak to a supervisor. Long story short. We were transferred to the Beach Club resort. We checked into the room at 11pm and missed the parade and fireworks, but mom said she felt like a princess. She loved the room and we are on the second floor of the main building with a full balcony and view of the pool and Boardwalk.

We went to AK this morning then to HS and a quick trip to the room to get her some warmer clothes. We then walk to EPCOT and since the wind was blowing and mom was cold, I remembered that Hector at the new San Angel Inn on the lake had invited us to dine and watch the fireworks when we inquired about reservations on Monday. The restaurant has only been open 3 weeks and will not start taking reservations till the 16th. So, I take mom there and Hector remembers mom. We walk straight in and the place was packed. They give us the next table with a view. We eat dinner and then they turn the lights down. We had an amazing view or Illuminations and mom cried she loved it so much. Hector checked on us during the fireworks to make sure mom was enjoying the show and gave her a pin to wear. This has been an incredible trip so far and I am so happy for mom and the memories I will have forever of this trip.:mickey:

How wonderful! You guys sound like you are having a truly magical time! Keep us posted, I am enjoying following you & your mothers trip reports.

[faline]

It's so nice to hear that Disney has helped make this a magic trip for your mom!

[Disney Hungarian]

Trip update:

My on-line friend of 3 years came down to BC to meet mom and me. She posted a photo here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/17146021@N04/5057186215/

Took mom to MK. She was not able to do POTC or the WEDway people mover. This upset her. But was able to do HM. IASW is still closed. PPF was a no go also. She was given a GAC with the alternate entrance on her first day and that has helped on a few occasions, but for the most part the lines have been short.

She loved just being in the park and was quite content to have me just push her around and see the park and the children enjoying themselves. Mom's late husband had a ring made with his name years ago. I took mom to the same place and had them make a ring with her name on it. She loved it so much. She put the ring on her finger with his ring and started crying. Not the reaction I was hoping for. She said "now we are together at DW again"

I took her to Liberty Square and got her a prime spot for the Electrical parade. All of the characters waved and blew kisses to her. She loved it. She was waving the whole parade.
After that we watched Wishes and she said "this has been the best trip of her life. She started crying again. I asked what was wrong. She said "Thank you". Well that did it for me. I had tears streaming down my face and was so glad we were in the mass exodus heading for the exit and no one noticed.

It has been a magical trip so far.

[Disney4us2]

Trip update:

My on-line friend of 3 years came down to BC to meet mom and me. She posted a photo here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/17146021@N04/5057186215/

Took mom to MK. She was not able to do POTC or the WEDway people mover. This upset her. But was able to do HM. IASW is still closed. PPF was a no go also. She was given a GAC with the alternate entrance on her first day and that has helped on a few occasions, but for the most part the lines have been short.

She loved just being in the park and was quite content to have me just push her around and see the park and the children enjoying themselves. Mom's late husband had a ring made with his name years ago. I took mom to the same place and had them make a ring with her name on it. She loved it so much. She put the ring on her finger with his ring and started crying. Not the reaction I was hoping for. She said "now we are together at DW again"

I took her to Liberty Square and got her a prime spot for the Electrical parade. All of the characters waved and blew kisses to her. She loved it. She was waving the whole parade.
After that we watched Wishes and she said "this has been the best trip of her life. She started crying again. I asked what was wrong. She said "Thank you". Well that did it for me. I had tears streaming down my face and was so glad we were in the mass exodus heading for the exit and no one noticed.

It has been a magical trip so far.

Wow. What a great, magical trip this is for both of you. I loved the photo. You can really see the love you have for each other.

I had to wipe the tears away before posting. I can't wait to hear more. Thank you for keeping us updated.

[badkitty]

You and your mom are certainly tugging on my heart-strings. I can't get through your posts without crying myself! I'm so glad you were able to take this trip. What a wonderful person you are to do this for your mom. Great picture!

[DisneyPrincess21]

Mom's late husband had a ring made with his name years ago. I took mom to the same place and had them make a ring with her name on it. She loved it so much. She put the ring on her finger with his ring and started crying. Not the reaction I was hoping for. She said "now we are together at DW again"

I took her to Liberty Square and got her a prime spot for the Electrical parade. All of the characters waved and blew kisses to her. She loved it. She was waving the whole parade.
After that we watched Wishes and she said "this has been the best trip of her life. She started crying again. I asked what was wrong. She said "Thank you". Well that did it for me. I had tears streaming down my face and was so glad we were in the mass exodus heading for the exit and no one noticed.

It has been a magical trip so far.

Well you certainly got me crying, so glad you guys are having such a magical time!!

[faline]

What wonderful memories you're making! The happiness you have provided your mother is so very special!

[Disney Hungarian]

Mom had troubles mentally the last 2 days. I think it was from just doing too much. All in all, it was a wonderful trip. Some happy times and some sad times, but it was time spent together. I will have these memories the rest of my life. Mom has already forgotten. We leave for home in the morning.

I posted some of the pictures from the trip here. http://www.flickr.com/photos/myfotopage/sets/72157624999438681/

Sorry I can't give a better update. I am too physically and emotionally drained. Thank you for all the support. :mickey:

[Disney4us2]

Thanks for the update. Loved the pictures. Glad you made some memories. Have a safe trip home.

[ElenitaB]

Thank you so much for sharing the photos. These are truly memories that will last you for many, many years. There's not much I can add except some :hug:

Have a safe trip home!

[cer]

Thank you so much for sharing your trip and selfless generosity and kindness with us.

God's blessings and peace to you both.

[badkitty]

What wonderful photos. Thank you so much for sharing your trip with us.

[DisneyPrincess21]

Mom had troubles mentally the last 2 days. I think it was from just doing too much. All in all, it was a wonderful trip. Some happy times and some sad times, but it was time spent together. I will have these memories the rest of my life. Mom has already forgotten. We leave for home in the morning.

I posted some of the pictures from the trip here. http://www.flickr.com/photos/myfotopage/sets/72157624999438681/

Sorry I can't give a better update. I am too physically and emotionally drained. Thank you for all the support. :mickey:

I am so glad you guys made so many wonderful memories together! Your pictures were beautiful and I can see how happy your mother was to be with you at WDW.

Sorry she had a bad time the last couple of days. :( but I am sure she did enjoy herself.

Eventhough she may not be able to express it, I truly believe that deep down inside, your mother will always have this memory and think of it fondly, even if she can't tell you she remembers it, deep down inside herself I know she will always remember this special time with you.

:hug:

[Daisy'sMom]

You are a wonderful son. This will certainly be a memory for you. I'm sure that as your mom's disease progresses, she will live in the memories of her trip.
God Bless you and her both.

[faline]

Thanks for sharing the pictures. What a lovely trip you made for your mother!

[TheDuckRocks]

Thank you so much for all that you shared with us. This brings home to many of us how many loving memories of parents we have that are no longer physically with us. In our hearts they stay.

[ftwildernesskid]

God bless you both. Your story really touched me. Your mom is lucky to have such a loving son.

[Disney Hungarian]

Arrived home safely tonight. I would like to thank everyone for the kind words. It has helped more than you would know. I posted to get info on making mom's trip a special one. What I got was way more than that. Having support like this has made the trip so much more for me.

Thank you!

On a side note: I need some pixie dust for my family and friends in Hungary. The other half of my family lives in Ajka Hungary. Some of you may have heard about the toxic spill. It is a bad situation, but we have received word, that all of my immediate family is safe. Yet, lives were lost and it is and will be a bad situation for some time.

[Joannelet]

I have tears in my eyes from viewing your photos...so beautiful!!!
I am so glad you did this and you had the opportunity to make fabulous memories for yourself and your mom!!!
I will definitely say a prayer for the people in Hungary. Glad your family is safe.

[Sylvia]

I just had a chance to see your photos. I know both you and your Mother have some wonderful memories from this trip. The photos are great and your Mother's face says it all. Thank you for sharing. God bless you for being such a loving and devoted son.

I'm keeping the people in Hungary in my prayers.

[gmgdisneymom]

how wonderful for the both of you. I would get the photopass and get as many pics as possible with the two of you