Biting 1 year olds in daycare

[jwildflower1981]

My almost 1 year old baby girl keeps getting bit by another baby. It has happened 4 times in the past month.8/16, Thursday, Friday and today (Monday9/14) At what point do I remove my child from this 'top of the line' $800.00 a month daycare? It breaks my heart and I feel so helpless. She is the smallest in the class, shes about the same age, she's just petite. Has anyone else gone through this? Is this absolutely normal? I had a meeting with the director Friday and she said this is normal. These things just happen. The other baby is teething. Well, my daughter is teething too and not biting anyone. She has had 8 teeth in the past 6 months and has bitten noone. I'm a first time mommy and just don't know what I should do. Anyone else gone through this? Either your child is the biter or the bitee?

[Zippy 1]

Biting is a normal phase for young children. But if this child is known for doing it to a specific child then the care givers should be doing all they can to keep them separate. I realize that this is sometimes difficult but it is their job. I worked in daycare for 12 years as both a teacher and an assistant director. The director of your childs center should be working to make a plan to insure that this does not continue. Have the parents of the other child been notified that their child is biting? what plan do they have in place to prevent further biting? Examples: distracting the child with acceptable things to chew on if teething is the cause, keeping the two children separate. what discipline is being used to redirect the biter? These are all issues that the director should be working on with the staff in your childs classroom. Is your child the only one getting bitten? If this continues without resolution you might want to consider a change. You can not have your child subject to this on a daily basis. Not only is it unsafe for your child it also gives the impression that biting is ok. I hope everything works out ok.

[momofdisneyprincess]

I have one of each - a biter and a bitee. I would insist that the daycare notify the other parent. It is their job to keep all children safe. If this other child cannot stop biting - they can't go to daycare; simple as that. It might be inconvenient for the other parent but it is not good to condone biting behavior. My mom watches a little girl who was kicked out of daycare for biting (the daycare said they had to look out for the welfare of all children). Luckily, my mom was able to curb that behavior. As I said, I also have a DH that has bitten in the past. As "normal" as this is; I taught him that this was incorrect behavior and not tolerated. He did learn that he couldn't bite. I gave him a wet facecloth for his teething and that did the trick.

[Joannelet]

I too was a director of daycare and this issue needs to be addressed by the staff members.
This is NOT okay and should not continue.
I would definitely approach it as what it is that they are doing to ensure that this does not happen again.
If nothing is done I wouldn't hesitate to pull her out because why would you want your child going where they don't seem to care about her well being?

[Ian]

Huh. I have to say I'm kinda surprised at their casual attitude towards biting. When our DD was in daycare she was bitten once by another boy in her class and the Director of the Center called us immediately, profusely apologized, told us that it was completely unacceptable behavior, that the other child's parents had been called, etc. They took it very seriously.

I don't want this to come out the wrong way, but honestly if I was you I think I'd re-evalute whether my child was in the right environment there. To me, any provider who has that much of an "oh well" attitude towards a child being bitten by another child is not serious enough about maintaining a safe environment.

[Mickey'sGirl]

Our eldest was bitten at daycare when he was little, and I received a phone call immediately following the incident. I was also given a written record of the incident when I picked him up. Biting has always been a very serious infraction at any daycare our children have attended.

I would be seriously doubting how top of the line the daycare is if the attitude is so non challant. Biting may be normal, but it can not be tolerated. The daycare needs to do something to help the biting child to curb the behaviour, and to assure you that it will not happen again.

Just my opinion, and good luck! Navigating the world of daycare can be quite tumultuous at times! :hug:

[Lizzy]

My son just started Daycare, he is 21 months old. His second day there he was bitten by another student and I got a phone call immediatly following the event. The other child's parent's were notified. They have a strict policy at my son's school. This other child was kept away from my son for a few days and then let back in with the group. I found out later that the child attempted to bite another child recently and was expelled from Daycare.

I would definatly let the Daycare know that you find this unacceptable that it has happened more than once. I would not hesitate to pull my child out of there depending on their reactions to your concerns. Sometimes the bigger, fancier, more expensive daycares are the least caring and personable. They treat children like a business transaction rather than little individuals that they are having a hand in molding.

[prprincess]

My DS2 is a biter, and our daycare has a policy against it. After he bit two little girls on two separate days, we were warned that if he did it again, he'd be out. That evening we took him home and just kept reinforcing that biting was bad (he was only 2 at the time). We dropped him off the next day and made sure he repeated to us that biting was bad. Thankfully, he didn't do it again--I don't know what he would have done.

So I agree with some of the other posted--I'm surprised the owner/director is being so casual about it if it's happened so many times.

[Georgesgirl1]

Biting is a common and normal stage that some children will go through, but I feel that your daughter's school has dropped the ball in some areas.

The school I teach at and DS attends is serious about biting. They will and have kicked students out for it, but the child has to show a pattern of biting activity to be kicked out. A 1 year old just doesn't understand that he is doing something wrong and needs to be watched and given distractions to keep him from biting. That is one of the teacher's jobs. My concern is that the director doesn't seem to have any information on what they are doing to curtail this behavior. When a child at our school is harmed by another student (on purpose or by accident) the parents of both the injured party and the child who caused the injury are notified by phone if it is a serious injury and always in writing. In the case of a child being hit, bit, etc. on purpose in my class, I don't name the child who injured them (but who am I kidding, they always tell their parents who did it to them), but I do tell the parents of the child who was injured what we did to curtail this behavior in the future. As a parent and a teacher, I know things are going to happen to my child. It's a fact of life and I am okay with that, but I do expect to be made aware of it when it occurs which is where your daughter's school messed up in my opinion.

I can't tell you whether you should pull your daughter out, but I would sit down and have another meeting with the director and ask her what they are doing to protect your DD and the other kids. I think that any director should be able to give you some strategies that they are trying. If she can't, then I would get worried.

[jwildflower1981]

I had another meeting with the director and she said they are shadowing the biter and putting her in her crib if they are doing anything that another baby needs attention(changing diapers, putting another baby in or out of a highchair, basically anything that the teacher cannot be on the floor with them). I just want to clairfy that they do call both me and the biters mom as soon as it happens and I receive an incident report. They told me that when the baby bites they put her in her crib with a teething ring to let her bite on that. She said at 1 they do not expel the baby because the baby doesn't understand yet that biting is wrong. If it goes on in the 2 year old room or beyond they will get expelled for it. As of now they just distract the biter and give her something she can bite and keep origel on her gums and teeth. So I guess after reading your posts, they are doing what they should be doing.
Thank you all for your posts and advice. I found it all very helpful and insightful.:mickey:

Ps, Monday she had a great day at school, no bites! Hopefully this shadowing is working!