Disappointed by the lack of respect

[Georgesgirl1]

I am a teacher, and I am so disappointed by the lack of respect my students show my assistant and me. We have four kids this year who consistently tell us "No!" when we give directions, yell at us, and pitch temper tantrums as if they were two years old complete with kicking, screaming, and throwing things at us and their classmates. And they do this several times a day! When we send notes home about this behavior, we get no response.

I would have never talked to or treated an adult this way. And if I ever did, my parents would have taken care of it right away, and I wouldn't have done it again! When did parents quit teaching their kids manners?

[carley]

is it possible the notes are not makeing it home to the parents at all?? id def check into to this... or make a phone call the kids cant dodge

[buzznwoodysmom]

Oh my gosh, that's horrible. What grade do you teach?

My kids are in 2nd and 4th and I'd be moritfied if I ever found out my kids acted that way at school, or anywhere, actually! That kind of behavior is not tolerated at my kids school, at all, ever. Of course its a private school and there have been two occasions since my kids have attended this school that a child was kicked out for unruly behavior. Too bad not all schools can/will do this. I am guessing its harder to do this in a public school. I went to public school and a student's behavior had to be really bad for a long time before that student was finally expelled from that school year. I hope you find a way to make things better and end up having a great year after all.

[Mousemates]

just out of curiosity...what grade are the kids in?

[teambricker04]

You know... I am shocked and not at the same time. My son had his first day of school today. He is in PreK and this is his 3rd year. It is a new school and so we have been talking about how the rules are different than his last class and he must do as he is told and be polite and use his manners with both his teachers and his classmates. Today was our first day meeting his teacher, she was so worked up about the kids creating a mess that she couldn't help them all transition in... My son was pretty worked up this afternoon. The problem? He didn't know the classmates names and they were all stealing toys from each other. It happens, and I have been working with him how to deal with it. Then when I asked, "what books did you read today?" I was informed by my son, "Everything about good manners at school."

Sad state of affairs when teachers have to take so much time out of the day to teach something like manners. If kids would be taught things like asking for something nicely and introductions, don't you think life would be a bit easier on all of us, parents and teachers alike? I do!

[teambricker04]

I am a teacher, and I am so disappointed by the lack of respect my students show my assistant and me. We have four kids this year who consistently tell us "No!" when we give directions, yell at us, and pitch temper tantrums as if they were two years old complete with kicking, screaming, and throwing things at us and their classmates. And they do this several times a day! When we send notes home about this behavior, we get no response.

I would have never talked to or treated an adult this way. And if I ever did, my parents would have taken care of it right away, and I wouldn't have done it again! When did parents quit teaching their kids manners?

Now that I am thinking about this a bit more... have you considered that maybe these kids are special needs? Would it be worth it to look into it at your school? Seriously, some times parents are turds that don't teach their kids manners, but sometimes there are problems that aren't noticed by anyone other than a teacher. I know my 2yo DS who is autistic is MUCH more different than other kids his age, but really, not many people can tell by first glance or whatnot. Just a thought...

[brownie]

Based on the behavior you are describing, the lack of response doesn't surprise me. It all starts at home.

I've had this discussion several times over the past few months. When I was growing up, if an adult told to knock it off, you stopped whatever it was you were doing. Didn't matter if you knew the adult or not, if you were goofing off, you stopped (at least while they were watching ;) .)

It seems like there's a fair number of kids today that will just look at you and keep on doing whatever it was they were doing when you talk to them about not doing something.

I hope your year gets better. Telling a teacher no is bad news.

[momofdisneyprincess]

Absolutely doesn't surprise me - sorry to say. My DD is in 1st grade. The parents that you send the notes home to are usually the ones that don't take the time to read them or read them and say...."kids will be kids." I volunteered in my DD kindergarten last year and I was amazed and the poor behavior some of the kids exhibited. My sister is the school resource officer at our public school and it's amazing the things she tells me, so sad too. Usually the non-involved parents are the ones that have the children that don't behave. I give you credit, it is a tough job you have. Good luck!! Try not to get too frustrated, maybe you can make a difference in those children. I get frustrated because the teacher has to stop teaching my child to discipline others that don't receive discipline at home. The others miss out too. And, no, these are not special needs kids just kids that have no boundaries at home. Sorry for the rant, I know right where you are coming from. I think some parents these days are just too busy to participate. Before anyone says anything, I do work full time but still find ways to participate and do still discipline my child.

[handmaidenofprincesses]

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I completely understand. I student taught my senior year of highschool, and I actually had a kindergartner put his hands on his hips and say "You're not the boss of me!" when I asked him to line up to go to music.

My mom works in pediatric dentistry and sees it all the time too. Her theory is that parents these daysare more concerned with being friends with their kids vs. disciplining them. She said a few weeks ago that there was a little boy in with his mom. The kid was a complete terror, tore apart the waiting room while mom looked on. She even said "Isn't he so cute?" to my mom at one point. Then they found out the kid had 4 cavities, one dangerously close to abscessing. The dentist offered to fix it then and there, before it could get any worse and the mom looked at her 4 y/o and asked "What do you think, sweetie? Do you want your tooth filled today or later?" Of course the kid is going to say later! I'm sorry but if parents can't even make decisions like this, where the kid's health is at stake, then something has gone seriously wrong with our cultural systems.

Okay I'm done now... :soapbox:

[DisneyOtaku]

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I completely understand. I student taught my senior year of highschool, and I actually had a kindergartner put his hands on his hips and say "You're not the boss of me!" when I asked him to line up to go to music.

My mom works in pediatric dentistry and sees it all the time too. Her theory is that parents these daysare more concerned with being friends with their kids vs. disciplining them. She said a few weeks ago that there was a little boy in with his mom. The kid was a complete terror, tore apart the waiting room while mom looked on. She even said "Isn't he so cute?" to my mom at one point. Then they found out the kid had 4 cavities, one dangerously close to abscessing. The dentist offered to fix it then and there, before it could get any worse and the mom looked at her 4 y/o and asked "What do you think, sweetie? Do you want your tooth filled today or later?" Of course the kid is going to say later! I'm sorry but if parents can't even make decisions like this, where the kid's health is at stake, then something has gone seriously wrong with our cultural systems.

Okay I'm done now... :soapbox:

Wait, WHAT? Why would you even ask the kid that?!?!? Get it fixed and be over with!

[IloveJack]

And they do this several times a day! When we send notes home about this behavior, we get no response.

I'm going to be super blunt here and say it's because their parents are the same way. I teach HS, and kids don't know what respect is anymore, for themselves, each other, or adults. It's a cultural change, in my opinion, not that I'm happy about it. Parents don't even teach their children to use Mr. or Ms., and they definitely don't use last names when addressing adults. (Now, my only DD is just 11 months (today! :party:), but when someone "introduces" themselves to her using their first name, I'm quick to add a Mr. or Ms. I want my child to know and use good manners.)
You would think that because I teach at a "Christian" school that the kids would be more respectful, but it's just not true. Our students are no different, they just know we expect more from them... but when you aren't taught it at home...
Sorry, big pet peeve of mine.

[MNNHFLTX]

I have to agree with "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" argument. I see it at my workplace too. Most of the people I take care of in the hospital are respectful and cooperative, but occasionally you get someone who acts like the nursing staff is their punching bag. And when their kids come in they are almost always the same way. Sad thing is is that parents are setting their kids up to fail later on in life. Learning the skills of cooperation and positive social interaction are vital for children to succeed as they grow.

[Disney Doll]

Yep, former middle school teacher here. Once you meet the parents it's not hard to see why certain kids have behavior problems. Really my only success was suspension and that was only because it created an inconvenience for the parents. I actually witnessed a physical fight between two women at the local Sonic during my lunch break and then later that afternoon I saw one of the women at school. She was one of our parents. Lovely woman. :ack:

[Georgesgirl1]

I teach Pre-K, so my assistant and I are used to the occasional breakdown or temper tantrum, but I have never experienced anything like this in my 5 years as a teacher and my many years working with children in high school and college. I don't doubt that one of these children will be diagnosed with ADHD at some point, but most doctors will not medicate a 4 year old. ADHD or not though, spitting at a teacher is unaccepctable. As some of you have said, it is also so unfair to the other kids in class who have to have calendar time interupted everyday by classmates who can't follow the simplest directions without making a scene.

Luckily my administration is supportive and they are doing everything they can to help me. If I wasn't getting support from them I would be a basket case. I just wish I could get the parents to support me to and understand why this is important. By permitting this behavior, they are only setting their kids up for a lifetime of problems. Imagine what will happen if these kids grow up and spit their boss's face when he gives them a work assignment they don't want to do?

[Jen C.]

My son has ADD, and I can promise you, even before meds and a diagnosis, he would not have dared act out that way. Manners are not part of a neurobehavioral issue. They are black and white and should be taught at home. Anyone using an ADD diagnosis as a get out of jail free card for an unmannered child IMO has a lot of nerve.

[azdisneymom]

I,too, work at a public school. It makes me sad to see the lack of respect some typical children have. (I say typical because I do work in special education.) Once a week I have to help monitor the kids in the cafeteria and to this day it surprises me that those kids who have the hardest time in school are also the ones who have lunch boxes filled with candy, cookies, chips, fish crackers or gummie type stuff. Most lunch boxes are short on nutrition and long on convenience. I have 2 kids of my own - it is not that hard to make a decent sandwich with fruit on the side. The crackers and cookies are a nice treat once in a while.

Sorry - got side tracked there.

[tmosier]

There are parents who still teach their children manners, but I think our numbers are dwindling and we have popular culture fighting against us every step of the way. Thank you to the teachers out there who are with our kids every day. Know that if one of my kids acted up in your classroom or was disrespectful to you, it wouldn't be ok with their dad or me and she would be disciplined for her bad behavior.

[Princess'Mom]

There are parents who still teach their children manners, but I think our numbers are dwindling and we have popular culture fighting against us every step of the way. Thank you to the teachers out there who are with our kids every day. Know that if one of my kids acted up in your classroom or was disrespectful to you, it wouldn't be ok with their dad or me and she would be disciplined for her bad behavior.

Ditto! Manners are a big thing in our household too. The funny thing is that my DD (who is 7)recognizes that manners are important. When her friends don't use their manners - she is amazed at their rude behavior!

[jillluvsdisney]

Kids who act that way have no fear of consequences. :mad: I wasn't suprised to read that a high percentage of teachers leave the profession after 5 years.

[mickeys_princess_mom]

My son has ADD, and I can promise you, even before meds and a diagnosis, he would not have dared act out that way. Manners are not part of a neurobehavioral issue. They are black and white and should be taught at home. Anyone using an ADD diagnosis as a get out of jail free card for an unmannered child IMO has a lot of nerve.

I appreciate your comments. We see this all the time.

[mickeys_princess_mom]

Kids who act that way have no fear of consequences. :mad: I wasn't suprised to read that a high percentage of teachers leave the profession after 5 years.

In my nineteenth here, and am ready to go. I'll still work, but twenty in the classroom will be enough. It's sad that I've come to feel this way, because my nature is normally cheerful and enthusiastic. I'm the one always trying to do the extra creative things to keep them excited about learning. I checked homework today (very easy--had classtime to do it, and two days...). In one class 15 out of 23 just didn't do it. Complete apathy. Stunning. Add that to the "whatever" attitude when it comes to student behavior and parent support, and I'm willing to take the cut in $ by getting out before I get old enough to retire with the most lucrative deal. So once again I'm trying to decide "what I want to be when I grow up..."
:(

[pixiesmimi]

In our school system, this behavior would not be permitted because the student would immediately be sent to the principal. Then the parent would be called, not a note sent home unless it is mailed because notes don't always make it home. After two or three of these incidents, the student would be suspended.

I know from experience that an ADD or ADHD child can act like this on medication if they are put on the wrong medication for them. There are several different meds they can be prescribed and they don't always have good results. Some can cause eractic or violent behavior in some children. More than likely it is no discipline at home, which is a shame. We are seeing more and more of this every day while parents who are trying to raise disciplined children are thrown in jail or threatened if they touch their children or discipline them. We are reaping the rewards of this in this generation. I feel for you!