How do you UN-invite the NON Disney People?

[luvDaMouse]

Sorry in advance for the long post.but I and my love for all things Disney thought (what was I thinking:shake:) that It would be a great Idea to invite my father and my stepmother to Disney with me, my DH 2 DD’s and DD”s boyfriend for our FIRST Christmas trip. Now I know that they are not big Disney people but they love to travel and they are fun people and I love them both so I thought they would like to come with us. Well, I want to experience all that Disney has to offer at Christmas time, Parks, Resorts, everything. This would be a trip from the Day before thanksgiving till the end of the following week in 2010. (10 days) We are DVC members and I would blow all my points for three years for a Grand Villa so we would all be comfortable. So, I talked to them last week and I said I have to get a yes or no from them so I could start to make plans and I got some comments from my SM like “ I am not going on itsasw cause I don’t want that song in my head all day” and “ I am going on this trip to be with you and the kids NOT for Disney” and “ I don’t want to deal with crowds and lines but I will” and “ I just want to see the Osborne lights and the big gingerbread house” Now I am worried about the whole thing. I want to have a good trip and I feel like we all will have a terrible trip if they come. Am I being selfish? I wouldn’t be so worried if I had been there at Christmas time before but this is our first time. How do I get out of this???:confused:
Dana

[BluewaterBrad]

Tough one! I would not bring them along, My Disney trips are far too special to me to have negative attitudes!:mickey:

[egospotter]

I would try something like "It seems like you are not excited about this trip, maybe Disney isn't your thing? Perhaps it would be better if you sit this one out and we plan a special trip with all of us in the future to somewhere we all want to go."

Obviously thought, they've already been invited, so it's not like you can flat-out tell them they can't go. But it's possible that if they do go, they will end up getting wrapped up in the Disney spirit and you will have a great trip. Or you can always leave them to their own devices while you have a good time in the parks. There is plenty to do at the resorts if that's more their thing.

[Missy_Mouses_Dad]

I agree it is a tough situation...but I would stress the point that this is a very special vacation and that they don't really seem to want to appreciate Disney. The idea of proposing another vacation/gathering is great. Why let them ruin this for you. But that is easy for me to say, I refuse to vacation with relatives for that very reason.

Good Luck I hope it works out for you.

[SallyMcQueen]

Don't know if you can un-ivite them at this point, especially without causing some sort of family ruckus, but you can say that its a vacation and complaining about things out of everyone's control will not be tolerated (easier said than done I know). As far as the lines/crowds etc I wouldn't be to overly worried. We went the first week of Dec last year and the lines/crowds weren't bad at all. Ithink we only waited for two rides for more than 20 minutes.

And you never know, they might get there and have a total change of heart. If not leave them in the villa and go have a good time with your family.

[ibelieveindisneymagic]

I think you're a bit stuck at this point, you can't really uninvite them (as much I agree I would want to as well).

There are two things you can do:

#1) as a pp said, comment that they don't seem all that into the trip, and propose another idea and go to Disney on your own

#2) if they still say they want to come, plan some time apart. You don't have to do EVERYTHING with them. Plan for some time together (such as the gingerbread at the GF, and have a meal there too) and some time doing your own thing.

When we went to Florida with the in-laws, we did what we wanted, and they joined us when they wanted to, and spent some days just enjoying the resort.

[offwego]

Well I'm not sure you can undo the invite but this might still work out.
I've done a fair number of family trips and the real secret is some time to yourselves.
By saying ahead of time that they "dont want this" (like its a small world) and I do want this (the gingerbread house) you can plan some together time and some apart time.
It doesn't mean they don't like it but that they have different things they really want (knowing them ahead of time is way better than just getting to it there).
We have found some time in the morning most days, time apart in the afternoon and no more than two dinners in a row to be a good formula (on the non dinner day meeting up after works and starting the apart time after lunch can also work)
That way the non disney parts (be they swimming, spa time, shopping, adult beverage wanting whatever) have space and don't impact your disney time. The result is great time together cause the resentment level doesn't start to simmer.

[NotaGeek]

I don't ruin my vacations for anyone, period. I work too hard and I am always WAY too excited to have to worry about bad eggs stinking up a trip.

If you feel it will be a bomb wouldn't it be better to deal with it now instead of waiting until you are stuck together for 10 days and ready driving each other MAD in the same villa?

Just be firm, loving and tell them, "I have thought about it and this Holiday trip is going to be about spending 100% running around doing 100% Disney stuff" ... and then offer to do a big family vacation sometime to a different destination that suits them as part of the group.

[BPATSMouse]

Just be firm, loving and tell them, "I have thought about it and this Holiday trip is going to be about spending 100% running around doing 100% Disney stuff" ... and then offer to do a big family vacation sometime to a different destination that suits them as part of the group.

Make the above offer NotaGeek is suggesting. It may suprise you how they might be relieved to "uninvite";) themselves.

[VWL Mom]

What jumped out at me was that they are coming to be with you and not Disney, that's not necessarily a bad thing. What I would give to have either one of my parents alive to hear them say that!

Maybe you could un-invite them for part of the trip. Have them come down for the holiday and send them packing on Monday giving yourself the 2nd half of the trip to do what you want without the worries.

IMO there is a lot to keep non-park people busy for 5 days; shopping, resort hopping, golf, etc and you could end each day with a nice dinner together in the different resorts. 10 days might cause some tension.

An added bonus would be the points you could save by going Grand Villa 5 nights and 2 Bdrm 5 nights.

[tinksmom02]

What jumped out at me was that they are coming to be with you and not Disney, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I thought the same thing. My parents are going to WDW with us next month. Is WDW on the top of their list of places to visit (again)? Not really. BUT, they love my daughter and enjoy seeing her happy, and they know that being at WDW with them will make her happy, so they're going back. They enjoyed the trip last time, don't get me wrong, but if it were THEIR vacation, they'd probably rather be at a beach somewhere.

Anyway, I think you should do as others have suggested, and tell Dad and stepmom more about HOW you vacation at Disney. Explain that you want them to know what they can expect from your family while you're at WDW (are you rope drop people, do you close the parks every night, do you spend all day in the parks, coming home to sleep and shower, etc.). Gently suggest that a WDW vacation is not relaxing in the same sense as a beach vacation would be. Explain that they certainly would be free to come and go as they please throughout the trip. And if they're starting to look a little scared ;) perhaps suggest that they come with you, but for a shorter time period, or they sit this one out, and set up a different vacation with them.

[diz_girl]

Make the above offer NotaGeek is suggesting. It may suprise you how they might be relieved to "uninvite";) themselves.

I agree. Maybe you can just tell them that you sense that they don't seem to be that excited about going. You can say to them that while you'd love to have them along, you didn't want them to feel obligated to go with you just because you invited them. Just say that whatever they'd like to do (go or not go) is fine with you and that if they don't want to go to WDW, than you can schedule the next trip together to somewhere that they'd like better.

[mdhiggin]

We sometimes vacation with others, but we do not go to the park at the same time or some days even at all. We do try to meet up during the day, at least for dinner. There's plenty for them to do if they don't want to go to the parks with you or on certain rides. Try suggesting some alternate activities they could do while you do your own Disney thing. You will still see each other every day but have some space to do different things. Definitely talk about it before you book your vacation, because they may back out or be disappointed if they aren't with you as much as they expect.

[luvDaMouse]

Thanks to everyone for all your suggestions:)
I decided to just bite the bullet and talk to my stepmom as she was the one making the comments (my Dad is a go with the flow kinda guy) I suggested we maybe visit HH island instead if Disney was not her "thing" I found out after talking to her that she wants to go and see the Christmas Decorations but since it has been so long since she has been to Disney (in the 70"s) she didnt want us just bringing her there and saying "heres Disney see ya later" and taking off and leaving them to figure it out by themselves:confused: I cant belive she would think I would do that??? I explained that I wanted to show them Disney and would not do that! She also stated that if they get tired and want to stay in or leavethe parks early they would be okay doing that. I feel much better having talked to her now our Trip is back on!! let the planning begin!!!:yay:
Thanks again for all the feedback :thanks:

[nicster]

Thanks to everyone for all your suggestions:)
I decided to just bite the bullet and talk to my stepmom as she was the one making the comments (my Dad is a go with the flow kinda guy) I suggested we maybe visit HH island instead if Disney was not her "thing" I found out after talking to her that she wants to go and see the Christmas Decorations but since it has been so long since she has been to Disney (in the 70"s) she didnt want us just bringing her there and saying "heres Disney see ya later" and taking off and leaving them to figure it out by themselves:confused: I cant belive she would think I would do that??? I explained that I wanted to show them Disney and would not do that! She also stated that if they get tired and want to stay in or leavethe parks early they would be okay doing that. I feel much better having talked to her now our Trip is back on!! let the planning begin!!!:yay:
Thanks again for all the feedback :thanks:
And that is why they say Communication is the key to a successful family life! Good for you!!!

[mouseketeer mom]

I bet it works out much better than you think it will. Keep communicating during the trip itself, go over your plans with them long before you get there so they can bow out of certain things if they want to, and have fun!

[luvDaMouse]

Thanks Lisa
I will be doing the planning and I really think we will have fun. They are fun people to be around! On a side note** I know you were on the fence with BLT are you still staying there? or have you "jumped ship" and gone back to the Poly??:D