Leave in 5 days!

[Nurse Kim]

:confused:We leave in 5 days. Have all our documents and DME tags but ha ve one more dilemma. My son is 16 and is insisting he doesn't want to go. I know this will be our last family vacation I will be able to get them all on for a long time. He has been saying all along he didn't want to go. He is extremely adiment he doesn't want to fly especially after the plane crashes he has seen lately.

Should I let him stay behind or force him to go? Our last trip he didn't want to go but I made him and once we got there he was ok. I think if I let him stay behind I will think about it our whole trip. I don't want to do what will make me happy but what is best for him.

[trapper]

I feel your pain. We are going this June and my son isn't. However he is 19 now but his last trip with us to Disney he was 16 and that is all he kept saying was that he didn't want to go. He did have fun while he was there although he could of had more fun. I said him and his sister who was 15 at the time could go off and do some things on their own and that seemed to make make things better but really they didn't do all that much without us. I made sure they had days to sleep in since that was sooo important to them...When I started planning this trip I asked him if he was coming and his words were"I told you I wasn't going on another vacation with you" It sounds alot meaner typed out then it did when he said it and I figured now he is 19 if he wants to stay home fine. He has a job so he will be busy with that anyway. I just hate that we've come to that time in our family they grow soooo fast. So good luck with whatever you decide I would try and talk him into going know that this is probably your last family vacation.

[RedSoxFan]

My DS16 (he's 17 now) did not want to go either last October. But he did have a great time once he got there. He had a couple of requests: eat lots of meals at Pecos Bill and swim with the fist at Epcot and he did both. He would go off on his own to eat at Pecos Bill and to visit the fish at Living Seas (he's obsessed with fish). We are talking about going back in the fall and he wants to go back. I'm surprised.
I think if your son goes and you give him options of what he wants to do or let him do something on his own, he'll have a great time.

[PrettyMinnie]

I think if you let him stay behind it will ruin your vacation as well. Bring him and he will probably have fun anyway.

[dream6]

I can only imagine how frustrating that must be for you to hear so close to your departure date! Unfortunately, I can't really relate - I'm in my early 20s and whenever my family decides to go on vacation I'm the first one to hop on board :) Maybe the underlying reason is in his new fear of flying? I feel like there must be a bigger reason to him not wanting to go, than just simply not wanting to go. My friend's mom was afraid to fly, but she spoke with a friend who was a pilot and he explained the odds of things happening and how safe air travel is. Maybe that would help? I'm not sure if you know anyone who may be an aviation buff...

Or like others said, maybe if he was involved in the planning process a bit more he would be more excited. Maybe let him pick out some restaurants - is he a fan of sports? The ESPN restaurant could be fun!

[mouseketeer mom]

16 is a whole lot different then 19 or 20. I would insist he go. You guys made a committment as a family for this last family vacation. Explain that in the future, plans could be made differently that didn't include him, but everything is place for this one, and its important you guys follow through together. Offer him alone time, Disney Quest time, any kind of compromise to soften the impact of going with you, but I would stick to the original plan.

[VWL Mom]

At 16 I would not give him the choice unless there was a really good reason such as school, work, varsity sports. From the sounds of it though, none of them apply.

[Mfarquar]

I completely understand both sides.

When I was your son's age, my parents and sister insisted on going to Montana for a dinosaur dig.

At 16, I was NOT a camping kind of girl. I'm more of a bring-a-suitcase-just-for-my-shoes kinda girl.

That was the only vacation I only stayed behind, and I was very grateful for it (especially since I worked the whole time for a family business and made some nice summer money!).

However, I think I was only allowed to stay behind because of the TYPE of trip. Me in a tent in Montana using a latrine would have been a CRUEL sitcom. It's important to have family vacations. Your son may not realize it now, but this could potentially be some of the best family memories as he looks back 10 - 20 years from now and beyond.

I think dream6 brings up a great point. Maybe most of his frustration is coming from a fear of flying. Getting some statistics about how it is safer to fly in a plane than drive in a car to Florida might be a good start (but, not to encourage him to be a person who's then afraid of flying and driving! :)). Also, try to get some strong statistics about the airline you are flying - many have wonderful records and brand new jets. Also, it might be helpful to point out that there will always be accidents involved with any kind of travel; whether it is walking down the street to the store or around the world in a plane. The media has focused on airplane accidents a lot lately, but a lot of the reason is a GOOD story behind it (i.e. Sully the pilot saving everyone by landing in the Hudson). There are trends in news, so they sometimes pay a TON of attention to a few stories when it is not necessarily indicative of what is NORMAL.

This may prove to be a great life lesson - if you're too afraid to take some very small risks, you can miss out on a lot in life. He could very well arrive and have a GREAT time.

I think the others' opinions are great, too - at 16 having some free time and also having a say in your daily activities can make a BIG difference. See what he is the most interested in, and include it in your plans (whether it's DTD, DisneyQuest, a particular restaurant, water parks, time with particular thrill rides, etc.).

Good luck, and I hope you all have a WONDERFUL family trip! :mickey:

[Figment78]

Like Mfarquar, I suggest that you try to help him overcome the fear of flying part of his hesitation. If you know a pilot, or a flight attendant, maybe they could talk to him.

Also, there are some Disney shows on the travel channel today and tonight. Maybe if you have them on, he might get excited about some of the rides. Has he been on Toy Story Mania yet? If not, he would probably LOVE it. And I agree, letting him help in the planning definitely will help him get excited. When my sister and I were younger, we were always given the option to choose what we wanted to do and that helped. At that age, she also insisted on calling her friends who were at a NYE party she was missing from the red phone booth in the UK at Epcot - that's what she REALLY wanted to do!

[Diz-Knee]

Another point about freedom that he might not realize - I noticed that you are staying on Disney Property so that will give him quite a bit of freedom to roam around the "world" using Disney transportation.

Is this his first time flying?

[murphy1]

16 is a whole lot different then 19 or 20. I would insist he go. You guys made a committment as a family for this last family vacation. Explain that in the future, plans could be made differently that didn't include him, but everything is place for this one, and its important you guys follow through together. Offer him alone time, Disney Quest time, any kind of compromise to soften the impact of going with you, but I would stick to the original plan.

ITA with all of this! My parents let me stay behind at 17 or 18, but no younger. Watch the movie Risky Business again and you'll feel better. I also see he has two sisters, so it would be nice for him to do some stuff on his own.

[spoiledraf]

We went as a last vacation when my son was 17. It was right after school let out and he wanted to spend time at all his freinds grad parties. It was an ugly trip. he didn't want to be there, ate most of his meals alone and avoided going to the parks with us. If there is a relative you can trust to leave hime with, that may be the way to go. I think the flying part is just a ploy to put up another argument. Tough decision. Hope things work out.

On another note, my same son, now 31, can't wait to go with us this year, his first trip back. He has his own kids now and they and my daughters son will be the center of attention. Guess my point here is, this may not be your last family vacation so don't put too much pressure on yourself or your kids. I hope for this one to be the first of many.

[Vintage Disney]

I suggest having your son listen to a few episodes of the podcast The Adventures of a Teenage Disney Geek. This is a free podcast done by Keegan who is around 16 and it is really alot of fun. I think Keegan's teenage perspective to touring the Disney Parks might help your son to feel a bit more positive about going to Disney. You can find this podcast by going to the itunes store and searching The Adventures of a Teenage Disney Geek.