Man Flu

[The Reservoir Dog]

The grim and disturbing truth about Man-Flu. It's time to dispel the myths about this terrible affliction that smug women everywhere seem all too eager to believe.

1. Man-Flu is not "just a cold". It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest.

2. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a "Mild Girly Sniffle" which, if a man caught he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

3. Men do not "moan" when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

4. Full recovery from Man -Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests fore care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is this really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it.

5. More men die each year from MFN (Man Flu Neglect) than lots of other things (like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

6. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

7. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. she became so ill that her head literally fell off.

8. Man-flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting "Lady Medicines" like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

9. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just laying around enjoying "Diagnosis Murder" it is a commonly recognised medical fact that watching football on the TV has remarkable soothing powers. Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this montrous disease together.

[crazypoohbear]

That's the cutest fantasy story I've read in a long long time :)
You must have a different breed of man in England than in NEW England.!!
Here, one sign of the sniffles and they have to curl up, whine, moan, sniffle, act delirious, expect to be waited on hand and foot throughout the duration of the "illness". They are too sick to move, need help adjusting blankets and pillows, want their mom because she can take care of them best.
Woman however, don't have the luxury of getting sick, if we do, we still have to tend to the children, keep the house, do all the scheduling, make dinner, lunches, get the kids off to school, contribute to the bake sale, attend the PTA meetings, teacher conferences etc, etc, etc,:D
And IF by some rare chance a woman does get sick, she takes to bed, closes the door and emerges again when she is well. There is no pampering, we just want to be left alone to sleep ;)

[beksy]

You must have a different breed of man in England than in NEW England.!!
Here, one sign of the sniffles and they have to curl up, whine, moan, sniffle, act delirious, expect to be waited on hand and foot throughout the duration of the "illness". They are too sick to move, need help adjusting blankets and pillows, want their mom because she can take care of them best.


We have the same version in Virginia that you get in New England! Here a simple scratch could result in either days of "check my finger, I think it's getting worse" and "are you sure I shouldn't go to the hospital...what? They might give me a shot? I don't want a shot! :fit: I think it's getting better!"

I loved the story! :funny:

[caryrae]

I had the Man Flu once and had to plastic of the whole outside of the house so it would not spread to surrounding States. It was so bad I actually had to have my wife work the remote.

[sassy2000]

Great story!!! :funny::laughing:

[Hayden's Dad]

:funny::rotfl: Now maybe my female co-workers will understand

[another tink]

Love your sense of humour. It's here in Canada to.

[Boojum]

For once in my life, I'd appreciate my illnesses getting the same respect as a man's. If I go to bed with a cold, I get some heinous remark like "Get on your feet, you're scaring the children!"

[garymacd]

I have been trying to tell my beloved wife all these basic elemental truths for close to thirty years. And she still doesn't believe me.

[LauraleeH]

Ohh, I get it, men are babies!!! ;)

[RedSoxFan]

I hate the Man Flu. With DH and 3 boys (2 are in college now) --- bunch of wimps!! DD12 never complains when she doesn't feel well.

[crazypoohbear]

Oh yeah, I forgot the biggest difference
there are 2 types of men who "experience" Man flu
1) refuses to go to the doctor because they need the wifey/mom to take care of them when actually they know there is nothing wrong and don't want to risk getting a woman doctor to mock them:mickey:
or
2) will go to the doctor at the drop of a hat, but not bring said wife because then "man flu" can come home and make up some dreaded disease :) but, before going to the doctor they will (AND I SWEAR, my hand to God, that my dad really and truly did this) will pack an overnight back because whatever they have is bad, real bad and they KNOW they will be admitted to the hospital :ill:
Women on the other hand, really don't have the time to waste going to the doctor's because they have too much to do and will diagnose themselves, correctly I might add and treat themselves. GO WOMEN!!!!

[badkitty]

Amen sister! As the only female in a house of males it is difficult to survive the "man-flu". Even my male dog has gotten in on the "act" and whines about everything!

[IamBelle]

You must have a different breed of man in England than in NEW England.!!
Here, one sign of the sniffles and they have to curl up, whine, moan, sniffle, act delirious, expect to be waited on hand and foot throughout the duration of the "illness". They are too sick to move, need help adjusting blankets and pillows,


this describes my dad to a tee lol :)

[Stitchahula]

Just have to laugh. The DH gets sick and the world comes to an end. I get sick and get asked what's for dinner. It's like when they have a pain and we can't possibley know how bad it hurts because we have never gone through anything like it. Ummm remember those two little boys we have well the stork didn't really bring them.:D

[gueli]

Are the differences really that extreme ?

I enjoyed the tale of the man flu.

I would never ask my wife whats for dinner when she is ill. Sometimes its like I have to push her to get to the dr. I think its a matter of respect.

Now I am not a saint (far from it), but a simple cold never lays me low, but when I am sick- I dont want to be babied. Yes i would like to be left alone to sleep, and yeah I will go to the dr when it is bad, but I don't need my mommy, I just want my DW to be my DW.

Now as far as the man flu - can you get innoculated for it ?

[TigChatt]

Funny you all should mention the "Man-flu" right now. Hubby has it right now. I think that he caught the worst strain of it. Last night without knowing he was doing it, he moaned ALL NIGHT LONG!! GRR! I told him that if he didn't get to a dr today then I was going to kick his butt. I have been taking care of his "Man-flu" for a week now. Last time I got sick, I also got the whats for dinner line. Seems to me, that women need to fake the "man-flu" just to get some sleep while we are sick.

[Stitchahula]

Women couldn't fake the man flu we would feel to quilty. Besides we would be laying there wondering if things were getting done...like the kids being fed. I remember my DH trying to help 1 time with dinner he said he was going to cook steak for dinner and that is all he cooked.