Family Issue...

[Dulcee]

Alright so I come from a family of four siblings, two older, then me then my younger sister. My youngest sister is now a senior in high school and being the youngest sibling defintely gets away with more then some of us older ones did.

None the less when I'm around and she mentions going to so and so's house and I know full well she's going else where to be doing things she shouldn't be (because of being able to see her away messages, facebook ect...) I look at her then at my Mom wondering why she doesn't ever question her more. In fact if any of us question my younger sister Mom bites our heads off.

What is frustrating is she constantly assumes she's the little angel while I can see her photos online that so obviously prove she isn't. I'm tired of getting screamed at every time I suggest she ask again where she's been.... do I show her these pictures and settle it once and for all or just let it be?? My Mom is being horribly horribly nieve with her and I don't understand how. While my relationship with my sister is good and I don't want to mess that up, I don't want to see her majorly screwing up by getting into something she shouldn't either.

:confused::confused::confused:

[cal5755]

I would show your mother. If your sister does get mad OH WELL.... Giving your mother the tools good very well save your sisters life. It only takes drying drugs once to kill you.... not to mention everything else. I am a mom to 3 children and trust me ALL of them will get the third degree about who what where and when. My oldest is 13 and a boy and is not allowed anywhere unless I know exactly who he is with, what his plans are and I DO check up on him. I only plan to me more diligent with my girls. As a mother.... I would listen to my older child/ren if they thought their younger sibling was in danger....and I would not tell how I came to find out the information either. My gut tells me to tell you to show your mom what you know is truth.

Good Luck

[Cinderelley]

Hmmm, that's a tough one. Even if you try to tell/show your mother, she might be in denial. Does your mother have a close friend that you could speak with or a pastor? Any adult that you would trust speaking to who could discuss it with your mother?

[hokies4life]

My DBF's family is the exact same way. The youngest is a girl that when she was a senior got caught doing things she wasn't supposed to and told her parents different things than what she was actually doing.

We ended up doing exactly what a PP said and going to Mom with all the information we had. Sure the sister got in trouble but in the long run it was in her best intrest. She is off to college now so it's harder to control what she does, but all you can do is hope that she learned from what happened.

You have to do what will be in your sisters best interest. If you know that there's something wrong and it could be leading her down a road that could ruin her life, you should really say something to someone.

[Tiggerlovr9000]

Being the mother in a same sitiuation I think you should show your mom the web-site. My youngest has been caught doing a few things that my oldest daughter knew all along. She did not tell us but had talked to her sister and she promised to straighten up. I also understand why your mom gets upset when you second guess her about her parenting, I mean she raised you and you turned out okay. Also we do get more lenient with the youngest because its hard for us to accept the fact that they are getting older. I think we also regret some of what we see as mistakes with our oldest and try to not do it again..So please try not to be to hard on your mom. You will understand a little better when you have your own teenagers..:confused:

[PirateLover]

Sounds like this girl needs a seriously reality check. I mean in all honesty, I would say 90% of kids do things they aren't supposed to at one point or another... and probably at least 85% of those kids get caught at some point. If she doesn't get caught soon, things could start to spiral out of control. I've seen it happen. If you are afraid of ruining your relationship, maybe you could "accidentally" leave one of the websites up when you know your mom will see it, or create a new email address and send her the pictures through that if she has her own email.

[julian]

Maybe you should talk to your sister. Is there some jealousy issue here?

You should protect your litter sister, not try to get her in trouble with your parents, unless she's stealing or doing terrible drugs. Think if someone you knew told your parents about your private life right?

"Accidentally" leaving pictures up is passive-aggressive and underhanded. I think that you should talk to you sister. Its a culture of fear we live in that makes us think things will spiral out of control and all.

- this is not supposed to start a fight, don't read it like that. just my advice.

[jillluvsdisney]

On another related matter, you might want to have a chat with her about what she posts on Facebook. Many employers, colleges, loan officers , ect, look at these things too. She might be seeting herself up for some serious consequences down the road. I'd tell your Mom what she's up to. You have her best interests at heart.

[Ian]

I would say that, unless you truly feel like what she's involved in is beyond the normal level of danger the typical senior in high school takes on, I'd leave it be.

I mean if you think she's into drugs or other really risky behavior, then I would confront her about it ... not take it to your Mother. You can always tell her, "Look, I'm worried about you and I'm giving you a chance to clean this up yourself, but if you don't I'm talking to Mom about it.", but I definitely wouldn't go to your Mother first.

First off, your sister would probably feel like you really invaded her privacy (even though you didn't since she was the one who posted the stuff publicly) and secondly it's unlikely you'd get the desired outcome since she would just be pushed further into rebellion.


On another related matter, you might want to have a chat with her about what she posts on Facebook. Many employers, colleges, loan officers , ect, look at these things too. She might be seeting herself up for some serious consequences down the road.Very good advice. I don't think people realize how many employers peruse the social networking sites of their current and prospective employees.

[brownie]

Those younger siblings always get more leeway. Unless she's in trouble with what she's doing, I wouldn't get too worked up over it. You might talk to her about it, though.

[VWL Mom]

None the less when I'm around and she mentions going to so and so's house and I know full well she's going else where to be doing things she shouldn't be (because of being able to see her away messages, facebook ect...) I look at her then at my Mom wondering why she doesn't ever question her more. In fact if any of us question my younger sister Mom bites our heads off.




IMO the fact that she is lying to your mom speaks volumes. If she wasn't doing anything wrong, she wouldn't have to lie.

I would confront her as the pp said and if that doesn't work, go to mom.