Fraternities

[Scott C]

So how should I feel about ds18 joining one?? He is a great kid who has a good head on his shoulders. He has been accepted by the best house on campus(and the only one he would have joined by his standards)

I guess I just need a little reassurance

Thanks
Scott C

[Strmchsr]

It honestly depends on the fraternity. Some of them can be absolutely great, some not so much. I guess it comes down to trusting your son. The fraternities I've been in (Phi Mu Alpha in college and Freemasons now) have been some of the best experiences of my life and I have some of my best friends as a result. Some of the fraternities were basically what you see on Animal House. It really is hit and miss, but if you trust your son, and he makes the right choice, it'll be a great experience.

The only advice I would give is waiting a semester or two before pledging. You can't really learn much going through rush. It's better to get a feel for the reputation of the fraternities on campus and get to know some members before making a decision.

[AZ Disney]

I was a member of a sorority in College and I have such fond memories of Greek Life. The bond between greek sisters and brothers is truly amazing. Greek orgs do a lot of good, but most of the time you only hear about the excessive drinking, hazing, etc. It does happen at most Fraternity houses that I've been around (many moons ago), but not all members will take part in that kind of behavior. Many of them now require academic minimums to maintain membership, etc, so I would not be concerned. You said it yourself that your son has a good head on his shoulders. Good luck to you both.

[AZ Disney]

I completely agree with stormchaser on waiting at least a semester to figure out who's who on campus. It also gives time to adapt to college life and college courses and just realizing you're no longer in high school. It can be a big step for a lot of kids.

[Dulcee]

As a current college senior on a campus where Greek life is a huge part of campus (80% of sophomore students and above are Greek) it can be one of the best things for a student's college career or one of the worst.

Fraternities for the most part are full of really great guys who spend a lot of time watching out for each other and for the community they are involved in. They also are FANTASTIC networks for finding jobs after graduation.

For me personally, Greek life didn't work out. I rushed, joined a sorority and after a year realized it wasn't what was best for my life. However my best guy friend at school is now Vice President of his fraternity and it is a huge positive factor in his life.

I don't want to lie and say some of the stereotypes don't exist. Yes, with most frats there is lots of :beer: beverages and socializing :party: but thats also a huge and important part of being away in college. If your son remains responsible he will learn to balance it with his academic career as well.

Biggest thing, be there for him to talk to you about it and make sure you ask what is involved with pledging, his expected finacial contributions to the frat, required grade point averages and housing requirements. As long as you ask and he knows he has an outlet to go to if he does get in over his head I wouldn't worry.

[hokies4life]

I went a slightly different route and joined a community service fraternity that was co-ed. While we weren't involved in all the greek life events, we still had the bonding that you get with those types of organizations. I think its a great thing to do if you have the opportunity and are insterested in it.

But I would also agree in waiting to pledge, but if he knows its what he wants, then he might as well go for it.

:chipdale:

[NotaGeek]

I am a Sigma Nu, and I pledged my Sophomore year in college and really wished I had pledged as a freshman. Most fraternities have very strict g.p.a. requirements, community service involvement and of course quite a bit of partying. Being a Sigma Nu honestly helped me become the person I am today ... my 3 best friends in the world were all brothers (2 of them pledge brothers and the other my big brother).

I had some very hard times in college (as does everyone) and being in a fraternity offered amazing support -- it still does. In the past 15 years since I graduated from college, I have met brothers from all over, in many different countries and it's always cool that we have something significant in common. That's part of that networking thing!

Being in a Fraternity isn't just something that happens in college, it really is for life. If your son wants to pledge, support his decision. It sounds like he is smart and levelheaded, that doesn't change because you go through rush. If he was accepted by the best house on campus, they chose him for a reason -- fraternities don't just offer a bid to anyone that comes in the door.

Rush is an opportunity to see if your son fits in with the brothers and it gives him a chance to see if he likes what the fraternity stands for, membership isn't automatic.

Can you tell I was Rush Chair for 2 years? :mickey:

[Jim&AngieMarriner]

OK here is my 2 cents on the whole thing.

I never did Greek in College so i cant really speak to that. BUT I am a FreeMason and have been for almost 10 years. A Frat can be a good and possitive thing. Most that ive seen are great social networks that also do amazing work within the local community. If you are worried about his potential house, do some internet research and see what they are all about, But in the end it is going to come down to this... How well do you feel you raised him? Or better yet, how well did he listen? If he took to heart the leasons you gave him and he is a good kid, then he should be just fine. Have faith.

[Dulcee]

I am a Sigma Nu, and I pledged my Sophomore year in college

My friend I talked about above is VP of his chapter of Sigma Nu :) Just thought I'd share that chapter of your frat that is on my campus is a group of really awesome guys.

[Strmchsr]

BUT I am a FreeMason and have been for almost 10 years.

Here's a good example of what we're talking about. I just found another brother on Intercot! It's a great life-long thing.

[cer]

If it were my child (which we have about 11 years before we even hit 18) I would basically encourage him to be the man who is willing to walk away from anything stupid, illegal or dangerous. If he cannot do that, then personally I would not consider him ready. But really, isn't that true for life in general, not just fraternities?

If he has a good head on his shoulders, like you said, he should do great.