To take the baby or not???

[em-n-mia's-mommy]

We have had a long going debate here these last few months as to whether or not to take our now 16 month old son to disney world with us in september. Everything is set up so that if he goes our hotel, flight, etc is taken care of. It is just a matter of deciding. My husband wants to wait until a week prior to make the final decision. He wants to take him for the sheer fact that he will feel bad if he does not take him, and i feel the same way. But, our trip in 2006 with our daughters was a bad one to say the least because they just were not ready. Our son is very active, does not sit still (i worry about the two hour plane ride there n back), and he is starting in that tantrum stage. I am not sure what to do because I see advantages to both taking him and not taking him. If we do not take him that gives us time spent with our daughters and we could forgo a lot of things like diapers, bottles, etc when it comes to packing. I guess I am just rambling but I just wanted to see if anyone has been in this kind of predicament. Our moms both said they would gladly keep him while we went, so that is not a problem. I guess I know i am gonna feel guilty if we do not take him. :(

[MsMin]

It is a tough one. I always take a young one for me, yes, part guilt but part the memories that can be shared too. I love the pics from when mine were little. Do they enjoy it? Not half as much as we do, not w/ the long lines and heat, waiting to eat, loud scary noises, big scary (to them) characters.......
Most professionals that I work with insist that a child should not go until they are 3 so that they can enjoy it. To me there is nothing like that awestruck face when they see Mickey for the first time.
I would suggest keeping them all in strollers; but, for some that's easier said than done. Mine loved to be escorted around WDW.
I typically use the mall as a guide... How do you manage with all of them shopping? There is usually a lot of stimulation and distractions and breaks in schedule.
He won't know what he's missing and will love anything you bring him. Are you doing a lot of dining? that can be difficult at that age too.
No one lives with the decision but you. Listen to your gut and know it's the best decision with whatever you decide b/c only you know your family. :pixie:

[NJGIRL]

Just my opinion but our vacations are family vacations so I would never think of going without my son. We are always so busy so spending time together is a treat not a burden. His first Disney vacation was when he was 16 months old and has gone every other year since then.

One thing to think about.....you never know what's around the corner, Illness, death, financial problems. IMO make the most of what you can now because tomarrow may not be an option.

[ThanxForNoticin]

As mentioned before, only you know your family and can make such a decision. However, I don't see how leaving your son with his grandmothers can be a terrible, evil thing to do. I think a 16 month-old is certainly doable at Disney. But on the other hand, the child is really not going to be able to appreciate it like he will in a few years when you return with all 3 children.

It might be tough, but I would enjoy a lot of quality time with your daughters, let your son's grandmothers spoil him rotten for a week, and begin planning for your next trip in 2-3 years. By then, your daughters will be Disney experts and should enjoy showing their little brother all around the place. Good luck with your decision. Have a nice trip, whatever you decide!

[Dakota Rose]

Like the other posters said, it's ultimately your decision and you know yourselves and your son better than any of us. I agree that leaving him behind does not make you an awful parent and he'll have a good time at grandma's. Personally, I would choose to take him for the same reasons NJGirl mentioned.

We took DS when he was 18 mos old and while it had its struggles (mealtimes, time change) I would do it again. DS was very busy and could climb out of his stroller very easily. We tried to let him walk as much as possible (we had one of those leash things) and to spend time at the play areas. The only thing I'd do differently is not eat at so many table service. He just got antsy and did better at counter services and buffets. Which was true for him even at home at that age.

Either way have a great time!

[crazeedizneefinatic]

Ultimately the decision is yours but I could not leave my son home, the guilt would kill me. Disney is such a family place, I would not be able to enjoy myself and always checking on things at home. I could see taking off for a romantic weekend with your husband but the other children are going.

We have very close friends who always chose to leave at least one of their children home for various reasons. Children only learn to sit on an airplane or in a restaurnat by practicing and being shown how to do it. I dread when they call because their children cannot sit through a meal without some sort of drama. It's okay if your child is squirmy or cranky they are still very young. I definately would not worry about what others think you will be teaching him how things should go.

Believe me I am not judging anyone, my son is not perfect but does have the groundwork laid for proper etiquette. Good luck with your decision, it really is a tough one.

[MNMS]

We've gone with our 3 1/2 yr old and 8 month old and every year since (they are now 7 1/2 and 5). You'll have a wonderful time as long as you keep expectations low and not push it (e.g., rest, naps, likes and dislikes, etc.). We found we enjoyed the vacation least when we were pushing to do too much. We always went back for a nap and possibly a quick swim and occassionally would let them play in Pooh's playground/Arielle's Grotto (unstructured play time even for a bit was good). Our youngest asolutely loved the characters (animals only; no princesses) at that age. She would squeal with delight when they approaced and cry (only briefly) when they left.

Again it is about expectations. If you're going and are going to be disappointed because you won't be able to go on the rides you like or won't have as many table service meals (or one of you might have to exit a meal earlier to entertain) then you will be stressed. If you're going to see their enjoyment and get enjoyment out of their enjoyment -- there's nothing better.

One other thing you might hear from some is that he's too young and won't remember. The fact that he won't remember it is irrelevant (unless you won't be able to go back for a very long time) -- I am a believer that experiences make us who we are throughout our lives (even if we don't always remember them).

Take him and have fun!

[dnickels]

I think you've already answered your question.

"...our trip in 2006 with our daughters was a bad one to say the least because they just were not ready."

Your daughters are at the perfect age to really enjoy Disney and the time with mom and dad will be so much more special because you'll be able to do the things they want and not have it based around the baby's schedule (naps, diapers, etc).

My dad took me when I was too young to remember it and said he'd never recommend taking a child that young again (apparently I was more interested in playing with the grass than anything else). That's not something your daughters will want to do.

If I were in your situation I would let him spend the week with the grandparents. You're not leaving him with strangers for a week, you're leaving him with loving family members. It'll be a great chance for the you and DH to focus on the girls which is tough to do when there's a new baby in the house.

[KineGirl]

As mentioned before, only you know your family and can make such a decision. However, I don't see how leaving your son with his grandmothers can be a terrible, evil thing to do. I think a 16 month-old is certainly doable at Disney. But on the other hand, the child is really not going to be able to appreciate it like he will in a few years when you return with all 3 children.

It might be tough, but I would enjoy a lot of quality time with your daughters, let your son's grandmothers spoil him rotten for a week, and begin planning for your next trip in 2-3 years. By then, your daughters will be Disney experts and should enjoy showing their little brother all around the place. Good luck with your decision. Have a nice trip, whatever you decide!

:ditto: Of course its all just my humble opinion. You know yourself and your family best and if the guilt would be too much you wouldnt enjoy your vacay and then whats the point? But I think ....Enjoy the time with your girls this trip. You probably havent had a lot of time to dote on just them lately - why not take advantage of it? Dont feel bad about leaving him with his adoring Grandma(s). Im sure he will enjoy his own one on one time. I know when Im a Grandma I would LOVE the opportunity to hug and love up my grandbaby for a week! He will appreciate it more in a year or so - and so will you.

[Disney Doll]

Just my opinion but our vacations are family vacations so I would never think of going without my son. We are always so busy so spending time together is a treat not a burden. His first Disney vacation was when he was 16 months old and has gone every other year since then.

One thing to think about.....you never know what's around the corner, Illness, death, financial problems. IMO make the most of what you can now because tomarrow may not be an option.

:ditto:
Time together as an entire family is precious. We're planning our son's first trip in October when he will be exactly 1 year old. It will be my first experience taking a child that young and I am prepared for a more relaxed trip. He may not remember, but I at least want him included in our family photos.

[Ropachs]

We were in your exact situation about our upcoming October trip. Grandparents were willing to watch DD but the thought of leaving her was awful. So we basically decided to postpone our trip another year or so. Then, on a whim, we invited the said Grandparents to come with us and help a bit with the kids. We didn't forsee how excited THEY would be about going! So that's our solution...and I guess my suggestion for you is to make sure you think about every possible option you have...we never thought we would have this one...perhaps there is some kind of happy medium for you too!

[mouseketeer mom]

Having seen 3 kids thru toddlerhood already, one is now 14, the other DD 12 and my son 8, ...I found that usually the kids do better on vacation then you think they will. There is so much to see, so much around them to keep them entertained, you just might be pleasantly surprised. A change of routine, especially in a place like WDW, sometimes works out better than you think it might. There might be challenges, like the plane or dinners...but if it was me, I'd take him. 16mos old isn't like an infant who isn't aware. He'd probably love it. And again, this is just me., but I'd miss the little guy and want to share WDW with him too.

[thrillme]

I see nothing wrong with waiting till the time before going to make a final final decision. This is indeed a toughie.

For ME personally I don't like taking children till they are at least 4. (please...everyone put your blasters away...I said for ME personally...:blush:). The trip is so expensive I want to be able to do EVERYTHING. I also tend to be one of those get there at dawn, take a nap at the hall of presidents and then when they kick me out of the park I'll leave whether my feet are attached or not. For my poor dear boy I've rented a stroller and given plenty of piggy back rides to keep him going.

I also want him to be at an age where he remembers it. If you choose to leave him behind to be spoiled to death by Grandma for a few days...that may be something he'll totally enjoy. The girls may enjoy getting some "special" time with their parents.

BUT on the other hand...I'm not sure how old your girls are but I'm guessing they're still pretty young too so you may NOT be able to do the marathon ANYWAY. I LOVE the idea of grandparents going. You'll probably be fine doing the "baby swap" thing. I understand too that if you're staying in one of the Disney Resorts they have some "nifty" babysitting services that might be good if the littlest angel gets a little too "moused out" and the older ones want to keep going.

[wdwfansince75]

Just got back from WDW, after enjoying a trip with DW and DS's and families, including DGS#4, who is 6 months old. Also on the trip were DGS's #2 and 3, who are 15 and 11, and DGD#3, who is 7, and on her 7th trip to WDW. DGS#3 and his sister, DGD#3, each made their first trip at 4 months. Yes, having babies on the trip makes you plan accordingly, and yes, it does make some activities difficult. But DW and I, and their parents, have special memories of all of their trips, and you would be surprised how much they remember. DGD#3 leads us through the parks, taking us to her favorites, Soaring, Splash Mtn, Pirates, and now, HM.

Oh, and have I mentioned the baby swap? Because of the baby swap, I got to do back to back rides on SM, EE, Soaring, Splash, BTMRR (in the rain...got more soaked than I did on Splash), RnRC, and Test Track.

DS#2's DMiL also came, to watch her DGS....but she loved the parks, especially AK.

To us, WDW is where we take our family. We enjoyed the trips, no matter the age of the kids and grandkids. Rather than wondering who to bring, we try to consider how we can include others.

[em-n-mia's-mommy]

you never know what's around the corner, Illness, death, financial problems. IMO make the most of what you can now because tomarrow may not be an option.

This has been one thought that we have had. As far as we know everything with my husbands job should stay fine, but anything could change. Especially with me because I am working on my degree in teaching right now, so it may not be possible again to go during the semester.


but I would enjoy a lot of quality time with your daughters, let your son's grandmothers spoil him rotten for a week,

I would really like some quality time spent with our daughters because since the baby has come time spent with them has been pushed back plus with me in college that pushes time spent with them back even more.


we invited the said Grandparents to come with us and help a bit with the kids.
I would love to do this option. Unfortunately none of our parents think that disney would be any fun. My parents version of a vacation is sitting around and doing nothing the entire time and his parents would not be able to keep up with us.

Thank you all for your opinions. I am not worried about the dining portion. My children all do very well eating out. I guess I just worry about the plane ride etc. I guess if we take him we might need to buy a kiddie leash. I will definately keep these suggestions in mind when it comes time to make the decision. Thank you again.

[ThanxForNoticin]

Whatever your decision, have a special and relaxing trip!

[Rekenna]

My DH, DS 8, and I went to WDW without our baby (who was 10 mos at the time) for a week. It was difficult leaving him behind, and the flight home couldn't go fast enough, but....

We had a great time! We spent "quality time" with our then 8 year old. We had planned this trip for a long time and although it was hard I know that we made the best decision to leave him home. Of course people commented on the fact that we weren't really taking a "family" vacation. :huh:? Don't listen to stupid people-the first lesson in becoming a parent. I firmly believe that the baby would have been miserable.

However we are taking our now 9, 2.5, and 13 mo old :unsure: on our next trip-we plan to take a relaxed (as much as we can) approach and let the babies set the pace. What I am telling you in a long winded way is it depends on what kind of get-a-way you are going for. Ramped up, rides, rides, eat, rides? Or a couple of rides, eat, swim, nap, swim, dinner, fireworks kind of stuff?

I know it is a difficult decision-but, whatever the decision you make it is the right one for you and your family.

Just to illustrate this is what your baby may do at WDW :babyroll::baby::fit:

Have a great time!:mickey:

[FTDW Poly 08]

Let me preface this post with this: nobody loves their children more than I do.

HOWEVER, when our third child was three months old, we went on a trip to Hawaii without the three kids. We were given the trip, will probably never have another opportunity like this, so we went.

It was wonderful. Yes, we missed the kids. We missed the kids a lot. But I didn't feel guilty about leaving the kids at home. It was a great experience for our marriage and our three kids got to have lots of loving time with their gparents/aunt/uncle.

We're not big vacation people (we're going to Disney in August for our first time), so it's easy for me to say this: if you feel that guilty about going and your child isn't ready, don't go. Go in a couple years.

[Spartan_Jeff]

We always take our kids. I cannot imagine a vacation without them. We are taking our 4 month old son with us in August. I treasure every moment the 5 of us spend together and vacations are no exception. It is exactly these memories that keep me going during the weekly grind at work. That being said, many people do enjoy vacations without the kids. Good luck and I hope you have a great time either way.

[KylesMom]

But, our trip in 2006 with our daughters was a bad one to say the least because they just were not ready.
Out of curiosity, were you and DH stretched to the limit due to their ages or the schedule you tried to keep? Did you give yourself enough "down" time to enjoy your trip?

Just a few questions to clarify the "not ready" remark in your post to be able to advise you on what our experiences have been . . . :mickey:


I would really like some quality time spent with our daughters because since the baby has come time spent with them has been pushed back plus with me in college that pushes time spent with them back even more.
However, with this statement I would have to say that perhaps you really have answered your own question . . .

[em-n-mia's-mommy]

They were not ready due to their ages at the time, 20 months and just a few days over the age of 3. My oldest childs terrible two stage lasted up until 6 months after that trip. That trip was awful. Melt down after melt down even though they had rest. It was just being away from home i think that did it. During that trip in 2006 we were at the Animal Kingdom that day and she had a melt down before we had even entered the park. She was screaming bloody murder and people were looking at me like what kind of parent are you. Of course then by the time we had gotten off the bus on the way back to the airport at the end of the trip she had another major meltdown that ended up with me 6 months pregnant at the time, in tears in the US Airways check in line. My son throws similar tantrums to what my oldest dd did (just not as severe or as often). That is why I worry. Funny thing was the 20 month old daughter was perfect the entire trip with maybe a few small instances here and there, but she was and still is very much more mild mannered than the other two. So yeah that is why I worry about this trip. I do not want a repeat of the last time we took the daughters. I think i was just too excited about them experiencing disney world for the first time in order to truly consider not taking them. Now I am much wiser lol. Now two years later I am completely sure they are ready. They no longer nap, they very rarely throw tantrums and are all around very behaved. I have a better feeling this time around about the girls going.

[peemagg]

I think the whole thing is the temperament of the child.

We took my nieces ages 13 months and 2.5, and their brother also age 13 months in January. Yes there was some times that were tougher than others, but over all a fun trip. The whole thing was that all 3 kids are easy going and do well with change. If your child isn't an easy going kid that does well in unfamiliar situations, then maybe a trip to Grandma's would be better for him.

When my littlest sister was around this age our parents took us to Mackinaw Island and into the U.P. for a few days. We left our sister with a friend. She had a great time with them and never missed the fact that she didn't get to go.

[Marker]

I hesitate to even respond to this because I know people love to twist intentions. What you choose to do is your decision, and yours alone. I wouldn't dare to presume to say what you should do.

I can only say what I would do. It would not have even crossed my mind to not take the entire family on a family vacation. In our view, a family vacation was meant for the family, the entire family. But that's just us.

[Dakota Rose]

If the flying portion of the trip is your biggest concern (which is completely understandable) remember it's only 4 hours of the total vacation.

We flew a lot with DS before he was 2, on long 5+ hour flights. We had a couple tricks. When he was very little (under a year) Our pediatrician recommended giving him a small dose of benadryl to make him sleepy. I suggest trying it at home first because some kids are actually amped up by the med. When he was between 1 and 2 we'd take him to the store the day before the trip and let him pick out a new special, small (quiet) toy. He didn't get to play with it until we got on the plane. On our last flight, we bought one of those mini-dvd players called a VideoNow. It was like $30 but now you can find 'em for $15-20. This was a LIFESAVER!

Maybe your parents could come along and just spend partial days in the park and hang out at the pool the rest of the time with DS?

It's a tough decision, but you'll make the right one!

[MickeyandTink]

We had promised DD for several years we would take her to WDW when she was 7. In the meantime, DS came along when she was 5. We opted to take her last year for her 7th birthday (actually, a few weeks early to take advantage of free dining) and left DS (almost 2 at the time) with my mom for the week.

We did it so it could be her special time and have absolutely no regrets about doing it that way. We had such a good time we decided to do it again this year and take DS along (who will turn 3 while we are there) on this trip. I hope he will be ok, but DW and I are both worried it may be too soon for him given the meltdowns we experienced on a mini family vacation last week.

Ultimately, there is no universal right or wrong answer it's what works for your family.

[jonahbear2006]

We took our son at 7 mths, an again at 17mths and he is going back at 2. He absolutely loved his trip at 17mths. After day 3, we have 7 day tickets, he insisted on sitting next to me on the ride so he could "feel" it for himself. He made joyful sounds, clapped his hands, and cheered. He absolutely loved the teacups, winnie the pooh, dumbo, the flying carpets, peter pan, nemo and friends, and the list goes on and on. I couldn't imagine not taking him. He was so alive with happiness and though he will not remember it, we will. We know now that you cannot leave a family member at home just because their memory won't serve them well. Besides, think of the dendrites that are forming inside of their neurons, from all the stimulation. There is real learning going on here. I would bring your own stroller at this age, though. They nap still and if you get caught sleeping in the stroller, you would want to be comfortable. I almost left him behind and then something occured to me..............Ohana means family and family means, no one gets left behind.

[EmmMOM2]

We took my DS to WDW for the first time when he was 16 months old. He LOVED it, and was wonderful the whole time. Though he is a generally easy going, happy kid.
Now he's 4 and we're going again with his little sister who will be about 15 months old.

I think that age is great, they enjoy EVERYTHING and aren't afraid of thigns yet so even go on haunted mansion and just "take it all in"

But I must say both of my kids are the Non-tantrum type. My son never had a terrible twos stage.

So i think it probably depends on your child and their maturity level (or how they behave)