I'm bummed

[Marilyn Michetti]

My mother, who lives with us, and is dying of kidney disease, wanted to go back East to visit my brother. She arranged the dates with him, and Dialysis fixed it so she could be treated at a facility there. She's been looking forward to this for weeks, and my DB:thedolls:, called this morning to say they didn't think she should come, because they wouldn't have the time to see to her care. He's been aware that she's failing, but just bailed two weeks out. She's disappointed beyond belief, I have to get dailysis to un-do all the arrangements, and I don't know what to do about the $441 USAir ticket.

I don't understand family sometimes. They knew upfront that she's full time care, but I guess they have a trip planned to somewhere, (all of a sudden).

She's in her room with the door shut, and I just hurt so bad for her.

[KineGirl]

Im so sorry (for you and your Mom) :hug:

Sometimes the other family members cant handle seeing the person they love failing. Its no excuse and it may be one he comes to regret.

Ive watched my Dad (& Mom) walk away from a highly successful business he spent 15 years building to go take care of his Daddy when we found out he was dying of stomach cancer. My Dad wanted him to be most comfortable so he went to him rather than moving him from his home or putting him in a facility. He just picked up and moved to the middle of nowhere Arkansas within a week and took a job making about a 10th what he was making. My Dads brother or sister never offered to come and help care for my Grandfather or pay any of the OOP medical expenses - nothing. Ive never quite understood it. My Dads never held it against my aunt & uncle but Ive always kinda resented it.

I have so much respect for ppl who take care of their family in these times. Its easier to do it for a stranger than one of your own. You're good ppl in my book and the way family should act.

I know this post isnt any help to your situation or your Moms hurt. Maybe try to firmly relate to your brother just WHAT the situation is (Im sure he knows but sometimes it really has to be drilled in) and how MUCH it means to your Mom. Not to mention the flight, the dialysis, etc.. He has forever to go on a trip - he may only have a short time to spend some quality time with his Mom.

:hug:

[disneydeb]

Marilyn,
I'm so sorry. Could your brother come out to see her?

:hug:

[Marilyn Michetti]

:mickey:He says he will, but in 15 years, he's only come out twice.

BTW, how are you??? I'm having trouble keeping up with JQU right now. That's one fast moving group.

See you in Dec.

[kakn7294]

I'm so sorry Marilyn. Does she want to come visit me? I hope for her sake that he really does go to see her. Give her extra hugs from us! :grouphug:

[crazypoohbear]

I'm sorry. You are a saint for taking care of your mother and making sure she is comfortable and safe and loved. You are a reflection of how your mother raised you. God bless you.
Your brother however, lets just say that he has no idea what he is missing in spending the waning time with his mother. I know it sounds mean but I hope that he feels guilty and it eats away at him but unfortunately people like your brother (and mine as well) have no idea how to put others first. :(
Just remember that YOU are a great daughter and you are loved.

[ChipnDaleGal]

These kind of stories just break my heart. I can only imagine how sad, disappointed and hurt your poor mom must be. She is very lucky to have you Marilyn. Your brother is really missing out and he may feel awful someday when he realizes how badly he hurt her.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

Some people are just clueless! Even if he comes to regret his decision it may be too late. I'm so sorry for your mom. I just hope she knows how much you care and that this helps to get her over her disappointment. Some people are just truly selfish and nothing will ever change them. And then they wonder why no one is there for them when they need help.

[MsMin]

Marilyn, please send her a :hug: for me... I can't believe she isn't their priority. :(
It breaks my heart to hear such news. I would welcome her. I hope you can do something special for her even if it's just a favorite desert, sharing a TV show or a scented candle. I'm glad she has you...

[pogo]

Marilyn....

your Mom is very lucky she has you. :thumbsup:

As a wise person once said, "You are one classy Lady ! " ;)

It's hard to say what is going through your brothers head during this. Maybe someone else is influencing his decision. It's not right and he may be torn right now trying to please someone else.

I hope the love coming from this Intercot family will help you get through this. :hug:

[RenDuran]

Your poor mom, and you, for having to watch her be so heartbroken. I hope she gets over her disappointment quickly. Maybe your brother will reconsider. Have you talked to him personally?

[MsMin]

Marilyn....
your Mom is very lucky she has you. :thumbsup:
As a wise person once said, "You are one classy Lady ! " ;)
It's hard to say what is going through your brothers head during this. Maybe someone else is influencing his decision. It's not right and he may be torn right now trying to please someone else.
I hope the love coming from this Intercot family will help you get through this. :hug:

You know Pogo is right, sometimes a person can't handle illness and loss and their way of dealing with it is to push them away. Sad thing is that it makes it harder for them later. I've heard many ppl say they want to remember the person as they were when they were healthy and not ill. :(

[Cinderelley]

If it truly is a matter of bad timing, can it be pushed back a couple of weeks? If not, can you two go on vacation to somewhere she's always wanted to go.

I'm sorry your family has to go through this. I know my brother's reaction would be the same if we were in your shoes.

[Marilyn Michetti]

Marilyn....

your Mom is very lucky she has you. :thumbsup:

As a wise person once said, "You are one classy Lady ! " ;)

It's hard to say what is going through your brothers head during this. Maybe someone else is influencing his decision. It's not right and he may be torn right now trying to please someone else.

I hope the love coming from this Intercot family will help you get through this. :hug:

Pogo, you made me smile. Thanks !:mickey:

[bleukarma]

I am sorry you have to see you mom hurting. Your brother will regret it one day and that's sad. I wish you and your mom the best. Hopefully she will cheer up soon!

[RedSoxFan]

Marilyn: So sorry to hear this. I'm sure he's having a hard time dealing with this. Give your mom a hug from me too.

[DisneyDog]

I'm so sorry to hear that Marilyn.

I know you said you've been wanting to come back east for a visit. Have you perhaps thought about making the trip along with her? Maybe your brother would be more amenable if you were there to help out? Then you could have a cheesesteak or two while you were here...

[MNNHFLTX]

Everyone deals with grief in their own way, true, but the course of events warrants more discussion with your brother. It does sound as though fear and anticipation has overwhelmed him, but there are more feelings at stake here than just his own. He should at least cover the airline ticket as that is an unfair burden to put on you. As far as your mother's disappointment, that is heart-breaking to think about. Bless you for being such a loving and caring daughter. I'm sure it means the world to her.

[Marilyn Michetti]

I'm so sorry to hear that Marilyn.

I know you said you've been wanting to come back east for a visit. Have you perhaps thought about making the trip along with her? Maybe your brother would be more amenable if you were there to help out? Then you could have a cheesesteak or two while you were here...

I did think of that, and might re-think it. (The cheesesteak park is tempting). It's kind of "over" in her mind - the damage has been done, but thanks for planting the seed in my mind again. We'll see.........

Might just e-mail you and say, "meet me for a REAL sandwich.":number1:

[DisneyDog]

Hey, you betcha! I bet there are others on this list who would join us:D (And, I would go shopping with you at King of Prussia!)

[pogo]

Pogo, you made me smile. Thanks !:mickey:

Then today has been a good day for me ! :D

[TheDuckRocks]

Marilyn, it hurts me deeply to hear about what's happening to your mom and you. I can't even begin to think of how awful this must be for the 2 of you. Someday your brother is going to be very sorry that he didn't see his mom when he still had chance to.
:hug: for both your mom and you.