Vacationing with familes (yours and signifigant other's)

[Von-Drake]

I got the idea for this thread from one under the accommodations board. Just curious how many people have done a Disney vacation with their extended family and /or their signifigant other's extended family? How was/were the experience(s)?

We have done several WDW vacations with my family and they were all great, except the last one was a little rough. My parents sometimes had different ideas on how to handle our son, when he was having some autistic moments. Not that their ideas were wrong, they just pressured their ideas too much and my wife's stress level and mine was off the charts most of the vacation.

A few years ago we took my wife's family (parents, sister, nephew, and grandparents) on a weekend trip to the Disney. It was not too bad, but their vacation mode is different than ours. We are up and going in the morning to get as much done as possible, whereas, they are the sleep in, move slower, return to the room early to just sit and relax type. Made for interesting trip... not bad...

So our next trip is going to be just the three of us, figured we need a trip to Disney, with lower stress levels... and way fewer chiefs.

[MsMin]

I've done it several ways too and some can be more stressful than others. I used to go w/ my sister in the 90's with 6 kids and no husbands. We have very similar routines since we grew up doing it. She had one child that was a pain but I set up consequences for him. If he didn't show up within 15 minutes we would do the next activity (often eat without him).
I've brought kids friends and even bf's and had a separate room which worked out great. Most of those trips were with ppl who had never been or had not been since they were very small.
In 06 I went w/ my parents, my kids and my niece. My niece was at the age where she thought she didn't have to listen and had a melt down when we would meet up for an ADR. She drove me crazy b/c she always asked me to go buy her alcohol :mad: Then would throw a big fit b/c I refused. It was one of the more difficult trips. My dad was 76 at the time and had limited mobility and would get lost so we spent a lot of time with that not to mention the geriatric issues. It was very stressful.
Last month I went with 2 dear friends from intercot and considering the fact that we were from 3 different families we had a great time (I know we stressed SgtTigger's wife sometimes but she was such a good sport. I think she made the most as far as sacrifices go. We did spend a lot of time communicating our typical trips so we could see where we would have a difference.

[kakn7294]

We've done 3 extended family trips and I can honestly say I'm not in a hurry to do it again (and never again if I can get away with it).

Our first trip was DH and I, DD 3yo, my parents, DH's parents, and my sister and niece 6 mo. My sister is ALWAYS a pain because she's a spoiled brat (even now at 34) and tends to have "Cybil" (multiple personality) moments - we never quite know which personality might surface ;). My parents are usually pretty easy-going and DH's parents were pretty good too. However, we crammed all 9 of us into 2 rooms at ASSp (don't EVER do that!!!) and the trip had several "moments" but since DH's mother passed away 7 mo later, we'll always cherish that trip despite the "moments".

In 2003, my sister and BIL planned a trip and asked us and my parents to go with less than 3 mo to plan. I had to scramble to change my vacation at work and actually had to call off for 2 days because they wouldn't approve part of my request (hey, if you can't call off for Mickey, who can you call off for?). I let my sister be in charge of planning that one - NEVER AGAIN!!! She don't know squat although she thinks she does. There were some huge planning mistakes made and my sister and BIL tried to make us feel beholden to them because we were tagging along on "their" trip.

Our last big trip was in Dec 2006 - this time it was DH and I, our DD's 11 and 7, my parents, my sister, niece 8 and nephew 3, and FIL and his wife (we don't get along well). This trip was one of the worst in history - sis had a couple of meltdowns (but we're used to that), niece was sick requiring medical care, FIL got mad that we didn't wait for him at ESPN Club (they were ready to seat us and he wasn't there - he knew when we would be there and even talked to us on the phone), and the wife was horrible. She kept wandering off on her own and getting lost, she lost her digital camera, she forgot her cigarettes one morning (and blamed FIL :confused:), she complained about ALL of the food, she fought with my sister when she had her meltdowns, and she swore at the waitress in Chef Mickey's (because they were ready to seat us and she was in the bathroom - it made her mad that she had to hurry). At the airport on the way home, she called my 7 yo DD by a nasty name. Needless to say, I will not go back with her unless the trip is free (translate - on her dime) and I will certainly ditch her at first opportunity.

All-in-all, they were still trips to Disney which is always great, but the ones without the extended family are the best!

[faline]

We have gone with others from time to time. Way back when, we went with one of my brothers followed by another trip with the same brother and his significant other (now wife). We've also gone with my daughter and son-in-law a couple of times and with another brother and his wife.

Our expectations for trips when we travel with others is different than when we travel alone. We've enjoyed both types of trips!

[valjane]

My husband and I have done three WDW trips by ourselves, but our big yearly trips are always with my family (which is my mom and my brother). We've even had my extended family (aunt, cousins, their kids) along before!

To be honest I'm not sure how my husband REALLY feels about the whole thing, but he and my brother are pretty good friends by now and he seems to get along with my mom, so it's all good.

We generally don't have too many problems all agreeing on what to do, and when we do disagree, I'll usually defer to my mom's decision since she pays for most of the trip. ;)

[DizNee143]

this pass vacation we took in Nov..we had both families there..mine and my fiances..and some of my fiances extended family..it was his cousins wedding..so thats why they were there..and then my parents and my sis and her hubby came also..
we didnt exactly hang out with them all that much..but it was awesome having our family down there with us..i hope to one day be able to do it again...
i have vacationed with my fiances family but we went to arizona and that was great..:mickey:

[sisterslovindisney]

Both times that our family went to WDW we went with my sister, her husband and her three kids. Last time my adult step daughter and her boyfriend also went. It was the first time for my sister's family. We knew that they have a different style than us so we planned for that. We planned which park we would go to but we didn't stay together at the parks. We generally got up earlier than them but they did go to rope drop a couple of times whereas we like to hang out at the resort in the morning. If there were rides that everyone wanted to go on then we would do those together. We generally ate lunch together and met back up at Poly for dinner (we stayed Concierge). At night my husband and I usually stayed around the resort whie my kids went back to the parks with my sis and her kids. Our next trip is with my sis's family and about 6 other families. We will not all stay at the same resort and have no plans to spend all of our time together but we will get together for some special dinners and will probably all plan to start each day at the same park. The other thing we did that was nice and we have plans to do again is that one night my sister and her husband kept all of the kids so my husband and I could go out to a special dinner then another night we kept all the kids so they could go out. For our big family/friends trip we are planning that one night 3 or 4 families will take all (20 or so) kids while the adults get to go out then we'll switch.

[KAT1811]

We typically travel with my parents, actually to the point that we have never been on vacation alone. Until this year, DH, the children, and myself are heading to WDW alone (probably because no one knows about it except DH and myself) :noevil: . Anyway, moving on, on our last trip there were 15 of us in WDW for 12 days, all but 3 were family (DH, our three children, my parents, DH's cousin and his wife, my aunt, uncle and cousin, and our neighbors) :medic: . It was crazy, the ages ranged from 10 months to 59. We had 3 smokers (gross) that ran off almost constantly to find the designated smoking areas. The trip began to resemble a "Where's Waldo" game :search:. My 3 children were the only children (except for our neighbors daughter who joined us the last two days) so they were constantly waiting for the adults to ride the big rides they could not. I was the trip coordinator so I was constantly trying to make everyone happy, and in the process making myself miserable. DH and I finally decided to focus on our children and make sure they were having fun, :trio: after all they were the main reason we were there. To make what could be a very long story short DH and I are not planning on traveling to WDW with a group ever again (aside from my parents).

We asked DH's (evil) :thedolls: mother and (spineless) :hide2: father to join us but DH's mother replied that it was not their "thing". Not that family ever is. I won't get started on that becuse if I do this will become the longest post in Intercot history. :angry:

We are looking forward to our trip in November just the five of us. :cloud9: Like I said before we have never been away, anywhere, just us so the intimacy of this trip should be wonderful for us. We own our own company and this time of the year is our super busy season and as a result DH works 85++ hours a week.

[bmj721]

Our family which consists of DH and 2 DS's have traveled to WDW 3 times with my in-laws. There may be some kind of eternal reward waiting for me as a result. The last one in 2005 was for 14 days due to the fact it was to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. People split up and did some things alone and arranged to meet later for some group time. I made certain that the planned group things were the kind of activites that were entertaining for all. The last trip was actually pretty memorable. Everyone had a great time until the last couple days due to the fact that my father-in-law hated to spend any money. However, we are now going again with mother-in-law in Dec with our family. Father-in-law has since passed away and we've promised her that she will always go with us on all of our vacations. DH and I make certain that we have our space, too. We have family meetings before the trip which are way before the 180 day ADR and 90 day tour points in order to plan out everyone's preferences so each feels they have imput and have a part in this trip. We are all pretty charged about the vacation. The other factor is the older people can't keep up with the younger people at the parks. So, either we younger people slow down which is what we've done before or what we're doing this year: getting an EVC for mother-in-law.
:mickey:

[Gooftroop5]

I have done 3 trips with extended family to WDW & 1 to Disneyland. We did have 1 trip with just dh, dd & myself. Since then we have added 2 more to our little group making 5.

Disneyland I went without any of my immediate family I went with my Aunt, Uncle & cousins. We went to california to see my uncle's family. They decided when they met up with us kids to go to DL. I had a blast. Of course this was before even Splashmountain.

The 1st one I was 12 & we went with my family & grandparents. We were in my parents camper. It was a lot of fun.

My 2nd trip was just dh, my parents & myself. We had a great time. It was the last time I went before dh & I had a family of our own.

My 3rd trip was we had dd (21/2 yo), my parents, my brother & sil. The time we were there without my brother & his wife was the best. My brother treated my parents like dirt. I finally spoke up & told him off. Dh got really ticked with both my brother & sil. After that we said we wouldn't do another family vacation with them.

So guess what we are doing going this year with my parents, aunt & uncle(friends of the family), & my brother & his wife & their 2 children. I am so not looking forward to this. We are stuck with no way out. We have tried everything including saying we just weren't going. $ is a big issue (besides not wanting to go with brother & family). Friends of the family are only going because we were going. Originally my brother's family was going a different time. My om thought we should all go together & convinced them to go thought she would've learned from our non-disney trip last year. My parents & the family friends are paying for 2 of our children- one each. My mom is using guilt of my father's health & everything we've been through this year that we all need to go as a family. "You never know what's going to happen." UGH!!!!

However we are determined that they are not going to spoil our good time. We keep stressing that we don't have to spend every minute together & if my brother & family aren't ready to go when we are that we are not waiting. It also helps dh & I are already planning a trip in a couple of years for Halloween time. Just the 5 of us. We are not telling anyone until we are leaving. :thedolls:

[Tegrigg]

All my trips, have been with extended family. We all have a agreement that we never pressure any one to do something they don't want to. We have a few dinners booked together and that is when we catch up for the day. Our next trip is on MAy 24th,2008, it is our biggest extended family trip ever!! 19 of us!! :mickey:

[Lehman Family]

All of our trips have been with extended family. Since my parents have the DVC we always plan our Disney vacations with them. There are trying times but usually everything is fine. Everyone kind of does their own thing.

Our last trip we took our regular group plus my DW's parents. It was a little more...um...challenging.

It was our DS and DD's first trips and my family did their usual own thing but made time to hang out with us and the kids. My DW's family were with us non-stop, which isn't a bad thing, but it made it harder to get things done because there were more people to try to satisfy with what we were all doing. Everything generally took longer than it normally does. It was nice to get out of diaper duty sometimes though! :thumbsup: My DW was going nuts towards the end of the trip because her and her Mother get along:thumbsup:, then they don't:mad:, then they do:thumbsup:, then they don't:mad:...you see where this goes.:goodbad: It was also more frustrating because our DS was only 5 months old :babyroll: at the time so there was trying to find time to feed him and get him naps. It made it hard to meet up with anyone at the times we had planned and to carry a double stroller (DD was only 2 at the time) on the busses wasn't the greatest. So towards the end we just didn't plan times for anything, we'd call whoever we wanted to meet with when we were prepared enough that we could estimate a time.

All in all we had a good time, but would probably not do it with EVERYONE again:giveup:.

[Aggie97]

My husband and I went to DLP for a couple days with my parents and little sister (they were living in Europe at the time, so we did several non-Disney vacations with them too). It was great. They are the only family members with whom we could ever vacation, though! My in-laws have asked us to join them at WDW a couple times, but that never will happen. :mickey:

[Tinkermom07]

My father and stepmother are bringing me, my two kids and my partner, and my cousin and her two kids (the first trip included her husband, now ex) for the third time this year. He rents a house for all of us, and each family has their own car. My parents, being older, don't spend as much time at the parks as we do with the kids, but they'll meet up with us for nighttime shows, and we have a couple of ADR's for family dinners. Sometimes my cousins family and mine will spend the day together at the parks, other days we go our own ways. While I wasn't too sure how it would work out, we all have a wonderful time, probably because no one feels pressured to be with the others, or do the parks someone elses way. We are all of the same temperament, and my cousin and I totally agree on child rearing practices, so that all probably helps too.

[OhToodles!]

We have mostly gone with DH's parents and it's great becuase they love Disney just as much as we do. 2 trips we've also gone with SIL and her BF (now husband) and things went fine. Mostly we'd split up at the parks and then meet back up when it was time to eat.

This year we're going with the in-laws again and my parents are coming too. I think it will workout fine - at least I hope it will! :mickey:

So far we're planning a trip with just us (me, DH, DS) next June for SWW. It will be out first trip just us as a family.

[SAHDad]

Most of our trips are with extended family. Our most recent trip (marathon weekend in Jan) had the following:

DW, DS (4), DD (1), Me
MIL, FIL
SIL (#1)
SIL (#2) and her fiancee
SIL (#3), her husband, and DD (1)

We would have had a friend of SIL #1 as well, but she couldn't make it. And, SIL #3 was meeting with some of her friends as well.

So, we agreed that the group of 12 would only try to meet up a couple of times for certain meals (one breakfast at Crystal Palace, a dinner at Le Cellier), and the rest of the time, people were on their own. Poor MIL got stuck with some extra babysitting duty, since I spent most of the weekend running (Goofy challenge), and DW and SIL #1 were doing the marathon as well.

If you try and force that many people into a tight schedule, it can be like herding cats. If you are more relaxed, it can be pretty nice. (We're considering trying to get most of the above, plus my dad, my two sisters, a BIL and a niece on a trip in a couple of years.)

[Janmac]

For numerous trips in the '80s DH and I went to WDW by ourselves. For our 1988 and 1990 trips we got the great idea of bringing my sister and my niece with us. We had a blast. We stayed in the same room and toured together.

In 1994, we had the idea of bringing more family - two of DH's grown kids, their spouses and their children, as well as my sister and niece. We had 3 rooms but toured together. We did this for 1998, 2001, 2004 and 2006, with some change of participants as some spouses and grandkids could make it some years but not others. Never more than 11, if I can remember right. With four of the 11 being kids.

Until 2006, we all toured together. That year some of our family members finally started branching off on their own during the day. Finally got brave enough to navigate the Disney transportation!

For myself, every trip has been a cherished memory and I think must have been for others, even in-laws, as everyone says, at some point between trips, I really need to go back to DIsney! When are we going?!!?

We have some stressful incidents but most of us are so darn glad to be away from work, and with each other, that we try to focus on the positive.

The worst trip was when we rented a trailer, for some of our group to stay in, at Fort Wilderness and it was not a very nice trailer. But we were at Disney.

Jan

[NJ Camper]

We have done many trips with my DW's parents and this past Nov we were down to Fla for a wedding in fort lauderdale then came up to disney we stayed in the fort a bunch of the bridal party stayed in various hotels we did some dinners or breakfasts together but also had alone time we had 3 days with the bride and groom in seperate rooms of course then we had several days to our selves we have also on numerous trips spent 3-4 days in the parks with my inlaws then several days alone i think if you go and have a few days of family and a few days to your selves it's not bad we had friends go also once that was worse then family

[IloveDisney71]

I have visited Disney with my brother and my 2 DD's, then with my best friend with her 2 kids and my 2 DD's, we've also taken my 2 DD's best friends & a boyfriend, and last but not least I've traveled with my immediate family, 2 aunts, an uncle, and my mom. Each time we've traveled with other people we just worked together and made decisions the best we could. We didn't always stay together but we would always meet back up for dinner and other events like Fantasmic, Wishes, etc.
I think you just have to be flexible when you are traveling with a group and things usually work out fine!

[KineGirl]

We've done the World several ways

with my parents

with my parents, my uncle (really closer in age to me and like a brother) & his wife

DH, DD and myself

DD and me

and this year will be my parents (albeit staying in their own home in Orlando), our little family of 3 and DD BFF (staying in AKV)

no matter how we do it we all just plan on eating & doing the things we want to do together but if someone wants to leave early they leave. The only time I have ever had a problem with that is when DH wants to cut out mid day or head back early at night but this year Im taking a much more relaxed approach to it. Hey! If he doesnt care that he didnt ride POTC then neither do I :cool: Its only taking me 8 years to adopt that attitude with him :blush: Im hoping his afternoon naps will give him more energy to enjoy more EMH.

Id like to take my hubbys folks but am a little hesitant as theyre older, not very mobile, dont "get it", pretty much only like their own GKs at this point (and sometimes just barely) and like to eat dinner at 4

[thejens]

We are going to do our third trip to WDW and once again it is with my mom who is wonderful to vacation with. My sister and niece are also joining us again. One year my other sister and nephews joined us. We all get along and travel well together for the most part. Being the itinerary commando type I just told them they could keep up or go on their own and meet up later. They all kept up and I do try to be flexible. I have no desire to try to do Disney with other friends or relatives, however. I think it would take away from the experience if we were trying to compromise or merge styles. Beach vacations are better for quality family time unless your family shares the same approach. That being said, my mother's health is compromised and I plan to be more laid back this trip. I might even enjoy that!

[Disney Doll]

We have almost always done Disney with extended family. I love vacationing with my family and I love seeing the kids experience Disney, but I can only handle MIL in small doses. A week of togetherness was way too much and I just felt stressed out. MIL requested adjoining rooms which I was not happy about and really expected us to all be together 24/7. That is not a good plan. Since I have learned to plan our vacation the way I want it and let people tag along if they wish. We do what we want to do and if someone wants to do something else they can feel free to meet up with us later. It makes for a much better plan. This year we are taking our first trip with just the immediate family. It was kind of hard to tell people we were going, but to also tell people we preferred to go just us.

[KAT1811]

This year we are taking our first trip with just the immediate family. It was kind of hard to tell people we were going, but to also tell people we preferred to go just us.


Us too! This will be the first trip ever just us! We are so excited but I do feel a bit guilty. No one knows as of yet, other then DH and myself of course. DH works at least 85 hours a week during our busy season so by November we are all in need of some serious family togetherness. We are hoping that everyone understands. We are not planning on telling anyone until the trip is upon us (the kids will not find out until we arrive at the airport).

[diz_girl]

When I was growing up, it was just me, my sister and my parents. We always had a nice time.

Our one and only extended family trip was in '97 with the four of us again, plus my DH and future BIL. My mom is a bit of a control freak and is a commando in the parks, so we needed to rein her in a bit. She wanted to leave the resort at 7am to go to the parks, but we'd only get back to our rooms close to midnight and I like my sleep. We had some nice meals, and we sometimes needed our alone time, but it worked out well in the end.

My last two trips were just with DH and me. I dragged him around the parks our first trip, poor guy, and I promised him a more relaxed trip the next time. Our last trip was more relaxed, as being pregnant and DH giving me a bad cold slowed me down a bit.

Our upcoming trip will be bigger than our first extended family trip. There will be ten of us, seven adults (me, DH, SIL, Mom, Dad, Sis and BIL) and three children (DS, Nephew and Niece), staying in four rooms. SIL is my DH's sister and BIL is my sister's husband. My family loves my SIL, and she's a laid-back person, so I don't foresee any problems. I've never been on a vacation with a group of ten, or with young children (5 yrs, 3 yrs and 17 mo), so it should prove interesting. Because we will have two toddlers in tow, we are thankfully forced to slow down and take frequent breaks, which should make our trip more enjoyable. I've taken over the planning, but I'm involving everyone in the decision making (parks, meals, etc.) so everyone should be happy with the outcome. I'll be crossing my fingers.

[irish1967]

We have vacationed at WDW with extended family from both sides (not at the same time :mickey:)

It works well - we recognized early on that sticking together as a group wouldn't work - too many different ages and interest levels.

We meet for breakfast in the morning and talk about what everyone's plans are. If it makes sense, the common plans are done first (e.g., go to EPCOT and hit Soarin' then one group might split off to hit TT and MS and the other group will go off to wonder through World Showcase)

The older children are given the opportunity to pick which group they want to go with - if my niece wants to do the mountains instead of the "baby rides" with her younger sister, she comes along with the group with the older cousins. The children know, however, that once they commit to the group, they are with that group until mid-afternoon when the families tend to head back to the resort for a swim (swimsuits are placed in the appropriate room so my niece would be able to swim even if we arrived back to the resort ahead of her parents.)

We always have a group dinner at a TS restaurant and then tend to hit a park for a little while before early-to-bed.

The only time it really didn't work is when I allowed myself to be promoted from trip organizer (researching accomodations and planning meals with DDad) to Julie McCoy (making individual ADRs for couples, spa visits for others and golf tee-times for yet others.)

Now that I establish boundries (i.e., I will be making the following ADRs for the entire group. If you do not want to be involved in any particular meal, let me know and I won't include you in the count. WDW recommends that ADRs be made 180 days in advance for TS restaurants. Those ADRs can be made at the following number 407 - WDW - DINE) it works out really well.

[Grumpy's Daughter]

My parents always took my sister and I when we were growing up, so it was only natural for me to make my DH take me on our honeymoon. And that's the last time that we went to DW alone! We've gone 4 more times, always with my parents and usually my sister in tow. We always go on vacation together- whether it's Virginia, Illinois, or the Happiest Place on Earth. Sounds like we might be a rare find!

[mouseketeer mom]

We only vacationed once with extended family. It was not at WDW, it was at the Beach. Needless to say, our styles couldn't have been more different. My DH and I think of vacations as getting away, My inlaws think of it of bringing their home along with them. For example, we like to go out to eat. They packed groceries (same meals they would prepare at home) and wanted us to all sit down to a family dinner in the beach house each night. They wanted us all together 24/7, it didn't flow. My DH had a migraine the whole trip and I thought I wanted to jump off the pier and swim away into the sunset! It was really tense the whole trip, and we would never do it again.

[MicMouse]

Every time I've gone, its been with my in-laws, which is fine. They are big WDW fans too!

It works out well for us because traveling with the in-laws equals free babysitting at night. :thumbsup:

[sleepingbooty]

We've done one trip with us and my parents, one with us, my parents, and my 20-something brothers, one with our neighbors and their kids, and one with just my husband and I. They were all great trips, but each had it's ups and downs. The most negative thing was having to wait for my brothers all the time, who never wanted to get up on time, and seemed to need a smoke break after every single attraction. Plus, you have to deal with everyone's moods. I was really worried that the trip with our neighbors was going to be a disaster, but it wasn't. What saved us, was staying at different resorts. We definitely had plenty of just family time because of that, although we did all of our table service meals together. This year it'll be just our little family, and I'm really looking forward to it!

[debandbub]

This will be the first time that we (SO and I) go with other people (Bro, SIL and 2 nieces 8 & 11). We are actually overlapping vacations, and I planned it that way figuring that each family would like a few days of alone time. Sounds like that might have been a good idea! My only concern (and I've expressed it in other posts) is that I am a planner (OK, control freak :blush:), and my brother who hasn't been there in 15 years doesn't think that we need to plan as much as I do. I really like Irish1967's idea... meet up for breakfast, make plans and then split up as appropriate. I think I'll try that! :thumbsup:

[Mickey'sGirl]

Before we had children we would go with my parents -- and since having children, we might spend a day or so with my husband's parents -- but when push comes to shove -- we would rather just be us. My boys and I can't handle big "productions" if you know what I mean -- so it is better for us to do things at our own pace. Come and go according to our needs that day. We think of vacation time as our family time (we both work etc) and on a very selfish level -- we have no intention of sharing our holidays. Kudos to those who do!