traveling with a 13 yr old

[mickeynminnie08]

Hello all. We will be traveling from IL to WDW in August, by car, with my DS who will be 13. Do you have any advice for keeping a teen (who doesn't like anything, EVER) enthused? It will be his first trip, so I'm hoping that will be enough.
However, if it is not, are there any special things teens really like?

[cajunbaby1]

:party2:Don't you just love teenagers?! I have 1 15 yr old and he always takes his portable dvd & video games for the road trips. He also likes to go the waterparks and can go off on his own to do his own thing...that is until he gets hungry or runs out of money and comes back. If he is mature and trustworthy enough maybe let him check out some rides on his own while you shop or take a break in the same area of course (so you can keep track of him).
Hope y'all have a great time.:mickey:

[jeddalynn]

Well, I wasn't a teenager too long ago myself, and now I have the privilege of working with them, so....sweet revenge, I suppose.

My advice is, for one, don't put pressure on DS to have a good time. Don't ask him "are you having fun yet?" sorts of questions. You'll probably be tempted though ;) I remember turning sour the moment my mum or dad asked that sort of question.

The most important thing, I believe, is to allow him his own emotions. So lets say you're in the car and he's being all grumpy and angsty. An "I'm not going to like anything ever" mood. Well, let him! And don't let it spoil your vacation! You are not in charge of your teenagers emotions! Let him be grumpy if he's going to be. Have fun anyway :) In working with teens, I have found that emotional regulation is one of the #1 things most still need to learn. You'll definately help him out by allowing him this. IGNORING can be a very powerful tool.

Second, give him some freedom. I don't mean be ridicilus, but Disney is a nice place, and quite safe. Of course, YOU know him better than anyone, so you're the best judge. But short (one or two hours) of free reign without the parents can make a teens day! So make deals with him. "Meet us here at 3" sort of deals. Trust and expect him to honor his end of the bargain! There really isn't that much trouble he can get into at Disney ;) And it will help him feel like you believe in him and his ability to care for himself.

Also, and I'm not sure if 13 is quite old enough, I don't know your son so I'm not sure what I would do in your case, but I know some of the clubs at Pleasure Island admit kids under 18 (I think Adventurer's Club and Comedy Warehouse). Take him! Its quite a safe, "grown up" experience that you can accompany him on.

I think the trick will be allowing him a reasonable amount of freedom and SHOWING him that you believe in him enough to let him try some more serious things. Every kid wants to know that a grown up believes in them :)

One last thing...do a bit of research and I'm sure you'll find that there are quite a few "serious" rides in the parks that would certainly thrill him.

I hope you have a magical trip :mickey:

[offwego]

My son is almost 13..while I can't speak to the road trip we have found the following things help.

Give him some choices..let him pick some activities (dinner, show, rides etc) and make sure they are high on the priorty list or give him a day to plan.

In the same way we also let him "plan" his clothes (with a limited veto power). We give him a list of what he needs and let him put them out for us to review. (98% of the stuff is fine we often just have to put in some of his nicer t-'s instead of his old faves).

On the same idea provide a camera (disposables are great) for his very own use. And a spending budget within his own control

I've found this to be a big help in letting my DS enjoy our vacations and letting us as well.

[deanna-montana]

Im 14 and im going to disney in 31 days for the 3rd time. my advice is just keep him involved. Ask him what rides he wants to get on or Where he wants to eat. It also helps that there are rides like tower of terror and rock and roller coaster. Now there is Expidition Everest. I havent gotten to ride it yet but i heard its a great trill. GOOD LUCK :mickey:

[jeddalynn]

I just thought of something for the car trip.

Did you think about getting a book on tape/CD? (I don't know what would be compatible with your car). Some libraries can have a fairly good selection. My library (in Toronto) has an AWESOME selection right on their website! So I download audio books for free. You can burn them to CD. You could even think about trying that for yourself to maintain sanity on the car trip ;)

My dad did this for us the couple times we drove from Montana all the way to Nova Scotia Canada (talk about a loooooong, 3000 mile trip). Problem was we only had one Louis L'Amour tape, which we heard waaaay too many times.

[busterthebronco]

we do the DVD thing in the car.
my mom taught 8th graders for 33 years and she says to not force them to have fun.
their idea of fun is not your idea of fun.
even if it was they would never let on.
:cool:

[disneydeb]

Would it be possible for him to bring a friend?

[crazypoohbear]

I include the 13 year old in the planning process
Let him choose a list of restaurants, counter service places he wants to try.
Have him check out the menus in the "info Central" tab. that will keep him entertained and hungry for hours.
Have him check the park hours and extra magic hours (if you are staying on property)
make a plan on which parks he wants to go to on any given day.
Then list the Must do rides- Make sure that you get these done otherwise misery teen time.
Remind him that he can act like a little kid there... He doesn't know anyone and no one knows him so he doesn't have to continue the "cool teen angst, angry teen, moody teen, too cool for this teen" persona that they seem to perfect in their sleep.:blush::confused:
I took 3 teens to the comedy club last year and they loved it! Plus, being disney it was PG rated!
There is a huge Virgin Mega Store in DTD he might enjoy that.

[Hull-onian]

JeddaLynn, Thanks for the good advice. I always take my grandchildren here and there, but it is always short trips, not long trips like this one is going to be. I am going to let them choose their rides and some dining experiences. I have my ADR's made, and I think I made some good choices for them. Anyways, how can you not have fun at the happiest place on earth.:thumbsup:

[Janmac]

If you have more kids in your family than the 13 yo, perhaps you can have regular Disney planning times. Perhaps one meal a week or every other week. Teens do better at deciding when they're not the focus, if others are deciding too.

Our current teen (youngest grandson) isn't much of a reader, or internet surfer, so compiling his own lists is not an option. Also, if he thinks he's not going to like something, he wouldn't be compiling lists on his own.

Which is where the family discussion times comes in handy. While information is being shared and decisions made he may get caught up in the moment and actually begin to look forward to the trip.

Regarding exploring on his own - he may be more overwhelmed by the World and prefer not to venture too far on his own. This could depend on how long you're visiting and how well he reads maps.

Our grandson has gone to the World many times and still says he would rather not navigate the Disney transportation system on his own. And he says there are lots and lots of people at Disney making things more overwhelming. We do go our own ways within parks. We all have cell phones which don't always work when a person is riding Test Track, etc.

I highly recommend a guide book - my favorite is The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World which can be bought from amazon.com (whose link is to the left). The Unofficial Guide has good attraction descriptions and ratings for different age groups.

One other tip, unless your son is allergic to shorts/swim suits (as our grandson was for awhile) a break in the early afternoon to return to your hotel to swim, cool off, nap, re-energize will probably be a highlight for him.

Enjoy!

Jan

[jeddalynn]

I like Jan's advice becuase its based on KNOWING your kid. Whats going to work for one family may not work for the next.

Also, I've found that the Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World is an excellent resource and can be purchased through the Intercot store.

[biodtl]

If he can read in the car, I'd say get him a guidebook to read on the way. It will get him excited about what's to come and help plan the days. Not that you couldn't give it to him ahead of time, but it would occupy time in the car.

[#1donaldfan]

Your lucky in that you don't have a 16 year old who thinks she can drive the whole way from WV to FL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mine does....she thinks it's her right to drive....if we don't let her we get the "drama"........

Actually, he'll be just fine...Disney is for all ages and once he's immersed into the parks, you'll see a great change. Don't fret too much with an occasional break out of an attitude, that's probably just being tired....the ride down is DVD time and a lot of sleep!!

Our teens and preteens are totally different on vacation....they are actually kinda likeable....that's just a joke....they are all GREAT!!!:mickey:

[bleukarma]

I don’t have kids, but once a year my mom usually brings my niece down to WDW and I meet them over there. She has been doing this since she was 6 years old, but last year she was 14. What a change! All of a sudden she was too cool for Disney! I think the biggest problem my mom had was getting her up and out of bed in the morning. My mom fought it…which resulted in a fight every morning and an attitude throughout the morning. You are going to have to figure out if you want to fight it or let it go. I think if it was me I would’ve let her sleep in the room and came back to get her later, but people are different. You know your DS best, use your best judgment on how to handle the situation.

I also agree with not forcing them to have fun. Make sure you get in the rides that he wants to ride and the places that he wants to eat. My niece just asked for one thing, lunch at 50’s Prime Time Café. The day we ate at 50’s she was happy…for the most part. Let him have some freedom. If he wants to go look inside a shop let him. Let him have his own spending allowance and let him know that once the money is gone he can’t get anymore so he needs to chose his purchases wisely. My niece was good at figuring out what she could and couldn’t buy and she enjoyed shopping for the things she wanted.
Have fun!:mickey:

[MNNHFLTX]

Don't forget to allow your son plenty of time at some of the interactive exhibits. My son has loved Innoventions (at Epcot) since he was 11 and could spend 1/2-day there easily. And there's also the games in the post-ride area of Mission: Space.

As far as letting him go off on his own a bit here and there--at 13 and on his first visit I wouldn't recommend it. It is a pretty overwhelming place, even for adults sometimes. :mickey:

[mickeynminnie08]

Thank you all, those are some great ideas. I have allowed him to chose our ADR. He seemed excited, tho I think I may be more excited. I am also looking around for books on cd and we will be taking the dvd player and the psp just in case. Again thank you.

[SandmanGStefani24]

i think i can help...

my 2nd trip I was 15, and in my goth/metal phase. (still sort of there, but not as much as I work in a professional environment) I was in the state of mind I was gonna do anything I wanted, and I was 'too cool' for most things. Two things made the trip the best trip of my life. (i'm 28 now and no trip before or after even comes close.) The 1st part was that during the ride over I had plenty of music on my walkman (no ipods back then:D) and friends to talk to. (a phone with texting could substitute here in your case.) Both of those could really help the time pass until you get there.
The 2nd and key part to having teens enjoy the trip is one word : FREEDOM. We were given our meal coupons the 1st day of the trip, dropped off at the gates, and told 'see ya at 10PM'. That was the first time I felt free to do what I wanted, when I wanted, with no parents or teachers to answer to. We weren't causing trouble, we just wanted to feel like adults for a change. Best vacation ever. Give him a day or two on his own where he can see/ride what he wants on his terms, or even meet up with others his age as we did. It sounds simple, but it will mean the world to him if he's allowed to look after himself for at least a little while. WDW has a way of winning over even the toughest crowds. Have a great trip! :marg:

[Here we go again...]

I am soooooo happy that my 13 year old has a love of Disney like me. I never have to worry about the ride down, what we are going to do or where we are going to stay. She may be her grumpy little teen self at home, but at Disney World she is a blast!
And, with DVC, we get 40 more years to watch her smile!

[ILive4Disney]

Two suggestions that would be well worth it if you don't own them already....an IPod and a cell phone with a text plan =) I find with my 13 yr old that she likes to share what is happening with her friends back home as she is doing it....because her friends are envious....it gives her enthusiasm.... =) Good luck!

[katzctkpt]

If possible take a friend then let them(if Trustworthy) go on their own. I've seen a lot of teens in disney with family & they appear to enjoy it as much as small ones. Now some of the rides he may not want to go near like Dumbo, Mad Tea Cups etc... but, have him at least do Peter Pan I just love this one. It really brings back the childhood memories.