Son afraid to fly

[Nurse Kim]

My DS is terrified to fly. We thought about driving but it woudl take us almost 2 days and the rest of the family wants to fly. We like the idea of getting there in a few hours rather than days.

I was wondering how to calm my son's fears of flying. None of my children have ever been on a plane and I have only flown once. I have tried to talk to him about his fears and it always goes back to the plane going down or someone highjacking the plane. He also talks about his ears popping and wanting to go to sleep before the plane takes off. These are very real to him and I don't know what to do. He keeps saying he don't wanna go but this is our first trip to WDW and our first family vacation we have ever taken and I don't wanna leave him behind. I know I wouldn't enjoy myself if all my children weren't there to enjoy the experience.
My daughters are a bit afraid too but we have talked about it and they are looking forward to the experience.

Any ideas what I can do?

[faline]

At 14, you'll really need him to agree to going. Have you consulted with your son's physician about this? I'd start there.

[vamaggie]

I also agree with talking to your son's doctor to see what he may be able to provide to help ease your son's fears. 9/11 has really added to the number of folks who are afraid to fly. Your son is 14? Is he analytical? Could you help him find info about how safe flying is and see some of the facts and statistics? Look online or in the library and get info about how flying works and the mechanics of it all. For some teens, having more info can ease fears (but if you think it will make him more anxious, then don't go this route). Are you (or your spouse) fearful too? This could be adding to his concerns. Some airports have (or used to have) classes you can take to help ease the fear of flying. Maybe this is something you could explore as a family. As for ears popping: 1) chew gum, 2) sip through a straw 3) use EarPlanes. They are small tubes you insert before take off and they equalize the pressure. You can get them at the grocery or drug store.We (me and my kids too) have used them many times. Maybe son could bring an ipod or other device to listen to and use a sleep mask so he can feel like he is sleeping. Good Luck!!

[NJMan66]

In 2007 I flew 34,000 miles. In 2006 I flew 21,000 miles. There are so many people out there who fly all the time for work like me.

Take you son one day to the airport and park your car in the remote parking lot close to the runway. Let you son watch 10-15 planes land safely and explain to him how hard and infrequent it is for large commercial planes to crash these days. Talk to him about the security measures airports have in place these days to keep the bad people out. Also discuss with him how much technology is used these days to help the pilots fly their planes.

By seeing plane land over and over again, that should hoefully diffuse some of the fear he has about flying.

[laprana]

I agree with all the previous posts. Keep reassuring your son that flying is a very safe way to travel, even safer than driving statistically speaking. I think it's a great idea to take him to the airport and let him get a better idea firsthand of what to expect on the travel day.

Bring lots of activities for him to do on the plane to keep his mind off the actual flight. Does he have a portable video game system like a Nintendo DS or Sony PSP? Those can be great diversions on a plane and help to pass the time. You can even get some of those single handheld games and just toss them in the carryon for him (a lot less expensive to replace if something happens to them!;)) You can also get some word puzzle books, reading books, or whatever he likes to keep him occupied before take off and during the flight.

I would also highly recommend using EarPlanes to help keep his (and the rest of your family's) ears from popping and clogging up. They don't stop your ears from popping completely, but they do keep them from hurting, clogging up and staying clogged after you've landed. I've used EarPlanes on our last 2 trips and they have worked wonders for my whole family! My sister usually has really, really bad problems with her ears after a flight, but when she uses EarPlanes, she's perfectly fine! You can get them at just about any drug store like Walgreens or CVS, and I think Target and Wal-Mart sell them, too.

Just be understanding with your son, but keep reassuring him, too, that it will be OK. Chances are, after that first flight, he'll be just fine! Good luck! :mickey:

[Nurse Kim]

Thank you all for your suggestions. My son is very analytical so I will sit down with him and show him how rare it's for planes to crash. I am afraid to fly but my kids don't know that. I have continuously told them how much better and safer it's to fly than drive. I never thought of letting him watch planes takeoff/land but that is a great idea.

[bshaw96]

Bless his heart. I was around 25 when I flew for the first time, and I was horrified. I nearly broke dh's hand holding on so tight, and I actually started crying when the plane taxied down the runway. But once we were up, I loved it! Now I will not travel any other way unless we're trying to save money, which nowadays, with gas prices, driving doesn't really do. There is truly nothing to flying. Absolutely nothing! Which I know doesn't calm the nerves of someone who hasn't flown. I have no doubt once he has flown, he'll be fine. There are mild sedatives a doc may give to calm him down pre-flight, but I've always found it impossible to stay awake during a flight anyway. Something about the motion, the cabin pressure, the humming of the engines, I'm not sure. But our whole family goes to sleep every time ;) Have a great trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This will seem minor once you're in the air, and you'll probably all laugh about it later.

On a side note, we talked my grandmother into flying for the first time when she was 80! Now THAT was hilarious. Her biggest fear was
"getting dropped off in a field". She was completely clueless to flying. After finally convincing her, little did we know we'd be flying into a small rural airport, and we pretty much were dropped off in the middle of a field, lol. Had to walk down the steps and about 1/4 mile to the terminal!

[rcaide]

My son was just 10 the 1st time he was on a plane, and we were flying from NC to Germany in Nov 2001 right after 9/11. He was very apprehensive and the doctor suggested some Dramamine to (he use to get car sick) to keep him from getting sick and to help make him drowsy. Once he got to the airport, he seemed fine. I let him buy an overpriced toy in the airport shop that kept him occupied. He got on the plane and once we took off he started laughing that he was ever afraid. He said, "This is no big deal." The drugs never did work he spent the whole 9 hour flight watching Shrek on the chair back TV in every language. I'd wake up and say are you still watching Shrek and he would say, "French." It was pretty funny. Now he is 16 and will fly anywhere no problem. I think once your son actually does it, he will be fine. It is probably fear of the unknown.

[realtreebar]

my daughters friend told her that if she flew it was going to crash! and if it did not her ears would blow up! she was (8) at the time and scared on our flight from msp to boston. she was scared and never said anything until we started to taxi. i could have had a few things to say to that neighbor girls mother! the neighbor girl was (13) but i consoled my daughter and after a few flights now i have to fight her for the window seat. gum works wonders for the ears. just talk to your son all the while put him in the isle seat if at possible and tell the steward that this is his first flight they can work wonders also! good luck it has worked great for all 5 of our children "gotta love :mickey: "

[Tink#64]

I have 2 DS's now 10 & 12, and we've flown to WDW 4 x, (youngest DS was 4 - 1st trip). They've never been fretful about it, but they have voiced concerns and we have talked about their feelings. Most poeple I know don't love flying! Me included. But we too like being there in 2 hours versus the long drive. DH & I have flown many times for business, but we're still always a little apprehensive. But in this day and age I think that's OK.

Both of my DS's get car sick & we found out on the 1st trip to WDW that the oldest also get air sick! Yeah - that was fun! So now, we always give both Dramamine about an hour before the flight. It covers the queasy stomaches & also takes a little of the edge off the nerves! But - a word of caution! Not all Dramamine is for children! Some of the newer versions are not! I'm not sure of all of your childrens ages, I just wanted you to know this if you choose to try this.

The visit to the airport is a great idea. We used to take DS's when they were younger to watch the planes & they loved it! Good luck, I'm sure this is really difficult for you.

Here's some Pixie Dust for wishes for all things good! :pixie:

[Tigger&Stitch]

If he's analytical, taking him to the airport to watch planes take off and land is a great idea.

Also, try to show him just how planes take off and land from just one airport (maybe MCO or your home airport) in just one day. It's startling! Multiply that by all the major airports in the country - and then the world. Just for one day.

I have flown several thousand miles in my life - I traveled twice a week for work for 2 years, often crossing the country twice a week with no incident. Now I live on the other side of the world and am in a plane for 13 hours at a time to get to the US - also no issues there.

And with all my flying, sometimes I worry too. It's normal to be a bit scared when you aren't in control of a situation. I often close my eyes to relax and even fall asleep while the plane is still on the tarmac. Next thing I know, we are in the air and on our way! If he feels better taking a nap through the flight - let him. Whatever helps him.

Gum is great for ears. Haven't tried the product others have mentioned, but wonder if it's here too!

One last note - if you do convince him to fly, and there's turbulence...let him know that a large passenger plane has never crashed due to turbulence, and to pretend he's on a roller coaster.

Good luck!

[SBETigg]

Just be careful with the analytical side. A lot of the statistics on air safety compare it to car safety and then the (over) analytical kid may start to fear cars as well. But it doesn't sound as if his fears are motivated by the safety of the plane itself but by news reports on terrorism and by the pressure, which is a very real problem- my daughter(also 14) has ear pain while flying.

While analyzing facts, make sure you look at air safety and security measures-- how luggage is screened, the process of going through the detectors, and keep him away from news reports that question air security for now. For the ear pain, taking a decongestant first can help, as well as chewing gum as the plane reaches altitude, plus they have special ear plugs you can buy to help ease the pressure build-up and keep him from having problems. With a little prevention in place, you may ease his fears about the ear problems. Good luck with it.

[Janmac]

I used to not mind flying at all but as I get older, I find flying to be very uncomfortable. DH doesn't really care either way. We usually travel to WDW with extended family. Most fly down but since DH and I are driving we generally bring along another person or two with us. We do have to leave a couple of days early (it's almost 1200 miles one way for us). It's a shame that option isn't available to you.

One trip our two grandsons got to fly for the first time. One thought it was great and the only way to go. The other pretty much didn't like flying.

I'm wondering if a train down would be possible? That wouldn't be as fast as flying but probably faster than driving. Kids usually go half price. Perhaps one parent can go with your DS on the train (or bus?) and the other fly with the girls.

And then, perhaps your DS would agree to a flight back home. If he really couldn't get over the fear, then he wouldn't have to fly again. My concern would be that he would really try to overcome his fears on the flight to Disney but then not be able to overcome his fears with the flight home.

Sometimes the security measures are almost more off putting than one's imagination.

You can check out fares and schedules at Amtrak's website and Greyhound also.

Good luck!

Jan

[CleveSJM]

Visiting the airport is a great idea. Even go inside an have him watch the security area. That should ease the hijacking fears. On the day of the flight, Dramamine is a great idea. Also leave with plenty of time to get through security. A stressful rush through the airport will not help.

Have him talk to friends or relatives that have flown, especially those around his age.

[heidi614]

It will be well worth the flight. That's what I'd would say. Tell him two days in the car would take up your Disney time. Definetly talk about the security at the airport, walking through the metal detector, putting your bags on the x-ray machine. Be sure your family doesn't have any coins, in their pockets or jewelry on.
Dramamine or Benedryl is what my Dr. Recommends. I also say the gum and ear "planes" ear plugs. Give him a surprise right before you get on a new game or since your kids are older, they would be really into the "hidden mickeys" there is a book and that would be a really interesting thing for him to read on the plane. There is also a lot of disney trivia too. My kids love hidden mickeys DD 8 and DS 11. Does he have any friends that have flown or cousins? That may help.

Good Luck and Have fun!:mickey:

[playdead88]

for his ears i recommend ear planes they are sold at drug stores everywhere - my dd's ent doc suggested them and they worked awesome! as far as the fear of flying i will have to go with talking to his doc - my ds was a bit nervous about the first time he flew and i gave him some benedryl - it seemed to do the trick and he hasn't needed it for any other flights - i think it was just for that 1st time fear of the unknown - good luck and i sure hope you have a wonderful vacation :mickey: