Need to vent about Christmas Eve dinner

[kakn7294]

My sister just called and has me really angry and upset about our holiday meals. Christmas Eve dinner is at my house - every year for the past 12 - 14 years (I lost track). Every year, I usually cook turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, etc. My Mom then cooks Christmas Day dinner and always has the same foods the next day - and I hate that. So this year, I decided to shake things up a bit and we're having hot sausage, meatballs, scalloped potatoes, chicken soup, and various other foods so that we're not eating the same things for 2 days in a row. Here's what has me upset: both my Mom and my sister have complained about the menu - well, not outright complained, but have made snide little comments about this person won't like that and that person won't like that. I can't believe that they have the nerve to complain as I do all the planning, shopping, prep-work, and cooking myself - and I am a pretty good cook. I don't complain about my Mom's choices for a meal and my sister has never, ever cooked a holiday meal - actually, that's not quite true either. She has her DH's family and my parents over for Christmas Eve lunch. I've never been invited because she figures I'll be too busy cooking for dinner anyway (she's told me this). This is why I feel like a Grinch and hate the holidays. If it could be just my DH and DD's, I'd be so much happier.

[princessjojo]

Oh, how I feel your pain. DH & I were just talking last evening about how we feel a terrible cold or the flu coming on and the peak may just hit about Christmas day. We may just have to stay home and be with the kids christmas day and enjoy each other's company by ourselves.

Don't get me wrong. I love my family as well as all of my very extended family, but it really gets to be drudgery when you do nothing but cook, clean and go all day Christmas eve and Christmas day. It takes away the spirit of the holiday.

No you aren't being a grinch, just human.

[Sean Riley Taylor's Mom]

You sound just like me.

I always have Christmas Eve at my house for my 4 sisters and their families. They are mad because I chose to have it at 7pm this year and just have light finger foods instead of a large meal.

I was away Mon-Weds, my son's b-day was yesterday, mine is tomorrow and I am dealing with a nasty cold and a touch of the flu. :ill:

The last thing I want to do is cook a big meal!! if they don't like it they should do it at their house for once.

Sorry to vent about me.:blush: I just know exactly what you mean.

Your menu sounds great. I wish I was going to your house.

[kakn7294]

Your menu sounds great. I wish I was going to your house.How about this? You tell your family that you're not going to be home and come here instead. I'll tell mine that dinner is cancelled and we can enjoy the holiday together! All Intercotees are invited as long as you don't complain about when it is and what you're eating!

[Sean Riley Taylor's Mom]

How about this? You tell your family that you're not going to be home and come here instead. I'll tell mine that dinner is cancelled and we can enjoy the holiday together! All Intercotees are invited as long as you don't complain about when it is and what you're eating!
Sounds great to me!! :cheers:

[Kairi_7378]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I think that you, as the host, get to choose what YOU are going to cook! And it all sounds so tasty! It's not like you are ordering take out! (Even if you were, it is your home and your party and it is your right to do so!)

I think some people are very resistant to change, and they will make a big fuss no matter what you do. (Kind of like wedding planning, where everyone feels entitled to offer an unsolicited opinion!) However, once they get there, I am sure that everyone will have a great time. Good luck.

[disneydeb]

Wow , I just got on Intercot because I needed some down time. I just got off the phone with my mom. I was crying by the time I got off because my sister can't fit anytime into her schedule to spend time with me and my family at Christmas this year. My mother lives with her (sister's house is much larger and she only has one child) so mom is going to spend Christmas with sis and her in-laws. I tried to arrange Christmas Dinner, lunch and breakfast - Christmas Day , then Christmas Eve - no time for dinner I cook with my family.:grinch::crying::crying:

Sorry I am no help




God Bless us everyone

[princessgirls]

It's the Holiday Season....

UGHHHH. It's so hard to make everyone happy. Why can't we all just be"that person" who shows up with nothing more than a bottle they picked up on the way over?

I am hosting, cookinig, cleaning, spending $$ on having Christmas and my sister calls to tell me that she would bring some brownies. I'm like Brownies... it's a holiday meal, that's it. A $1.29 box of brownies. Whatever...

Just my little story.
Julie:mickey:

[Zippy 1]

I feel your pain. Last year my DH decided we would host his brother and family for Christmas Eve without telling me. He told me afterwards. Now a little history - I don't exactly get along with my sister in law. So I decide to make the best of it. I made a bit Italian meal and got nothing but snide comments about everything we had done.:mad: Our house is to small - Italian is not a holiday meal. It just wasn't the most pleasant experience. This year Dh asked me if I would do dinner again. I flat out said no!! So nothing was said about getting together with them. I was so hoping for a quiet night at home with just DH and DD. Not to happen I guess DH and his brother decided we were going to their house. I asled what I needed to bring and was told an appetiser. So I decided not to do anything special. I am taking a cheese, beef stick and cracker platter. If they don't like it tobad!! I don't feel like trying to please them this year. Thankfully Christmas Day will be quiet and relaxing. Just the three of us.:cloud9: I do wish the holidays could be more relaxing and not so stressful.

[ElenitaB]

I've been through this but with Thanksgiving (except there is no Thanksgiving Eve)... which is why I no longer give a thought to us (the immediate family) going to WDW Thanksgiving week and being away from the extended family. So next year, let's all go to WDW for Christmas!

[DisneyTwinsMommy]

I've been through this but with Thanksgiving (except there is no Thanksgiving Eve)... which is why I no longer give a thought to us (the immediate family) going to WDW Thanksgiving week and being away from the extended family. So next year, let's all go to WDW for Christmas!

Sign me up! :santa3:

[Jimenyfan]

As much as I hate being away from my family around the holidays the meal part never makes me feel bad. This year for me,DH and DS's I decided to do something different, crab cakes,shrimp cocktail, crab legs. I told DH I didn't want to be traditional and just wanted to do whatever, he happily agreed and this is what we will eat this year. Next year it could be ham,turkey,filet mignon but this year its seafood. Good luck with you meal, it sounds wonderful to me. However it turns out have a very Merry Christmas.

[dolphinmickey9170]

Kathy, I totally agree with you. I wouldn't want to eat the same meal for Christmas both days either. Families can be such a pain in the backside. I guess one solution could be to tell your mom and your sister if there is some other dish they would like to bring, be my guest. This way you can still have your planned meal and they can help you out a little too. If they don't like it....oh well. Don't sweat the small stuff. Keep your chin up. Ben and I'll be right up and I'll even help cook and clean up too. Happy Holidays!!

Just a side note, to go along with the other poster's comments about being sick......I actually went into labor and delivered my baby on Christmas day. It got me out of a lousy christmas with my estranged father and his wife.:thedolls: My mom, step-dad, sister and bil all thanked me for that one. I called it divine intervention and the answer to my prayers.

[Mickey'sGirl]

So next year, let's all go to WDW for Christmas!
Or my place!!! It's what everyone we are related to does EVERY year!

Kathy -- you can hide out at my place too! Your idea for dinner sounds wonderful!

I host Christmas Dinners on December 23rd, 24th and 25th. December 23 is a Beef Tenderloin, and December 25 is a Turkey and Ham.....so December 24 is Penne and Meatballs. Sorry that's how it is. I don't like meat, and the idea of having roast meals three nights in a row is more than I can imagine! That said, my BinL and SinL look forward to our dinners on the 24th (It is always some kind of pasta). I think the key is to NOT get an opinion in advance. You're doing the work, cook what you want to! Heck, when my husbands dear Gran used to do Christmas Eve, it was KFC! It's the time with your loved ones that matters! :hug:

[kakn7294]

So next year, let's all go to WDW for Christmas!Works for me! Mickey's cooking next year!


Kathy, I totally agree with you. I wouldn't want to eat the same meal for Christmas both days either. Families can be such a pain in the backside. I guess one solution could be to tell your mom and your sister if there is some other dish they would like to bring, be my guest. This way you can still have your planned meal and they can help you out a little too. If they don't like it....oh well. Don't sweat the small stuff. Keep your chin up. Ben and I'll be right up and I'll even help cook and clean up too. Happy Holidays!!You guys are more than welcome and I won't even expect you to cook or clean up! They have decided now that they are bringing something - I think because they don't want what's being served. Oh well, don't eat - more leftovers for me.


I think the key is to NOT get an opinion in advance. You're doing the work, cook what you want to! Heck, when my husbands dear Gran used to do Christmas Eve, it was KFC! It's the time with your loved ones that matters! :hug:I tried to not tell them but my Mom pestered me everyday until I finally broke down and told her. It's the same reason that they didn't know about our last Disney trip until May (we went in August) - they just can't leave it alone and let me be happy. I agree, it's not the food but the time together that counts - I do love my family even though they drive me crazy at times like this.

Thanks everyone for letting me vent. I feel much better just knowing I'm not alone!

[mook3y]

Ah Kathy, you are so not alone.

I am sitting in the doghouse right now.
(at home, having a drink with lots of peace and quiet getting presents wrapped) :thedolls:

One side of my family had a "family" party tonight, a couple hundred miles away. I just didn't have the energy to deal with all the drama this year.

Family... you got to love em eh? Beats doing 5 - 7 for throttling them. :D

LOL

And as far as food goes...
Shoot, it was many years ago my family started a tradition that I have continued with my own.

Christmas Eve dinner consists of several different types of cheese, a few types of crackers, beef stick, apples, pears and grapes.

For Christmas dinner, we make a pan of Lasagna a couple days before Christmas.

:D I would rather spend time enjoying the day than cooking and doing dishes!!!

Oh, were down with Mickey cooking next year. LTT? :)

[Jenemmy]

Just put nice little poems at each place setting:


Have a seat at my table
and take a good look
The first to complain
is the next meal's cook.......


I had to learn a long time ago to have wonderful Christmas' in spite of certain family members attempts to ruin it! Enjoy your hubby and your girls, focus on them and don't worry about anything else.
Merry Christmas!

[murphy1]

I'm jumping on the next plane if you are cooking all that for us, Kathy!! We can all wear our various Mickey ears and Mickey shirts and play Mickey's Christmas Carol and Disney holiday music, how fun! I have set down the ground rules with dh's family (they are about an hour from us, so not too bad to do), Christmas Eve and Christmas is for our immediate family. They can come here, but we go nowhere. We have been to Florida a couple times with the kids and that's been fun since my family is there. I think things progress once you have your own family and sometimes you have to be the grinch, but if you ask me, they are the ones being the grinchies!!

Jenemmy, I love your poem!!!

[MsMin]

Kathy that sounds like a wonderful meal and my mom taught me NEVER to complain about other's food-- it's like a gift isn't it??? I could come up and bring a sack of crawfish and really spice things up! I agree that repeating the same food would get old and I would want something different too.
We have open adoption down here. I'll even alternate Christmas with you. My sister decided that the family is just too big (things have changed:confused:)and she is having Christmas with just her kids and her latest husband (#5) and buying gifts for herself. She hasn't wanted to swap presents in years nor does she do anything for anyone so it's just me and my three kids and my parents. My brother has come for Christmas once in over 30 years b/c his wife wants to be with "her family". So basically since my parents were both only children and I have no 1st cousins, Aunts or Uncles it's just us:( so we adopt everyone willing.
On Christmas eve we will be lucky if we have something warm for dinner maybe leftover meatsauce:blush: I invited my mom over and we are all getting together to prep cook for Christmas day. We are making both oyster and cornbread stuffing. It's fun for us to get together and chop celery and laugh with a touch of wine and Christmas music we look forward to this get together as much as Christmas day. I started this about 3 yrs ago b/c my mom is getting older and can't cook it all anymore- she prefers to cook alone-- not me--I used to go to my grandmothers every Christmas eve to help and 3 of her 5 sisters would come to make the stuffing. Now my girls want to learn to cook. This Christmas we are even going to get cold weather too:snowball: It would be great if I could put a log on the fire but my dd's asthma can't take it.
The only thing you can count on is change but most ppl don't like change. I don't think it's about what you cook but that things are not going to be the same. It's losing something and they get grumpy. But some change is good.
Hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and again I would love to eat anything you serve b/c it's the company that really matters. :tree: :hug:

[disneydeb]

I've been through this but with Thanksgiving (except there is no Thanksgiving Eve)... which is why I no longer give a thought to us (the immediate family) going to WDW Thanksgiving week and being away from the extended family. So next year, let's all go to WDW for Christmas!

I am giving serious consideration to this.

[JessicaRabbit]

Have a seat at my table
and take a good look
The first to complain
is the next meal's cook.......


I'm sorry that you have to put up with this stuff during the holiday season - sometimes families are a pain you know where.

I shopped and prepped for a large Christmas Eve dinner for my inlaws only to be told just this minute that they still have Christmas shopping to do and so Christmas Eve dinner "won't work" for them. Gee I've only been doing this for the past 6 years and now it doesn't work for them? Well I'm still having Christmas Eve dinner and we'll just have leftovers all week - but still that really stung! I feel like throwing a giant snowball at MIL! :elf:

[kakn7294]

I'm sorry that you have to put up with this stuff during the holiday season - sometimes families are a pain you know where.

I shopped and prepped for a large Christmas Eve dinner for my inlaws only to be told just this minute that they still have Christmas shopping to do and so Christmas Eve dinner "won't work" for them. Gee I've only been doing this for the past 6 years and now it doesn't work for them? Well I'm still having Christmas Eve dinner and we'll just have leftovers all week - but still that really stung! I feel like throwing a giant snowball at MIL! :elf:Oh, I'm so sorry! Where should I aim my snowball? :thedolls:

[Marker]

Ah yes, Christmas. For some a celebration commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, a time for family and friends to gather together in the spirit of love and togetherness, a time when kindness towards our fellow man replaces the normal anxieties of life...... or a source of fuel to further enhance family drama.

Sometimes I wonder if the whole family drama thing is the unforunate result, or the underlying goal.

Well, you know what they say.... You can't control what other do, you can only control your reaction to it.

10 years from now, what will be important, what was served for dinner, or the fact that you were able to get together with loved ones.

But that's just my opinion.

[kakn7294]

10 years from now, what will be important, what was served for dinner, or the fact that you were able to get together with loved ones.See, this is my point - it's the time spent together as a family that matters. However, in my family, they will remember what was served 10 years from now and it will still matter to them. That's what frustrates me. But now, after talking to all my friends here, it doesn't matter anymore!

[daparish]

Kathy,
I say cook what you want and whoever does not like it can starve.....just kidding. The holidays have also become hectic for us. I always cook Thanksgiving dinner for DH family and we spend Chrismas at my mom's. The problem is my mom now lives in a mobile home since the hurricane. Just my mom's kids, kids spouses and grandkids total about 25. She also invites my aunt and her kids and grandkids. I am not sure where she will fit everyone. I told her I am coming early this year so I can leave early. It is so crowded that it is standing room only.

[BronxTigger]

Kathy,
I say cook what you want and whoever does not like it can starve.....just kidding. The holidays have also become hectic for us. I always cook Thanksgiving dinner for DH family and we spend Chrismas at my mom's. The problem is my mom now lives in a mobile home since the hurricane. Just my mom's kids, kids spouses and grandkids total about 25. She also invites my aunt and her kids and grandkids. I am not sure where she will fit everyone. I told her I am coming early this year so I can leave early. It is so crowded that it is standing room only.

Wow...she is still in "temporary" housing from Katrina? Unbelievable. I hope you all fit and have a good dinner.

I'm not going home for Christmas this year; plane tickets were prohibitively expensive. So, I was going to get all the gifts for my parents and brother here, wrap them, then send everything in one box to my parent's house. Problem is, one thing I ordered online on December 2nd STILL has not arrived. Sooo, the WHOLE box with ALL the gifts are still sitting here at my house. This ONE thing has messed it all up! Now all the gifts from me are late and I'm upset about it. At least my parents are cool about it. My mom said "there's too much at this time of year to be stressed about. Don't let US be the source of any stress." Thanks, Mom! :cloud9:

[daparish]

BronxTigger,
I am so sorry you could not make it home for Christmas. I complain about having so many people in one place but deep down I know we would not have it any other way and I am very thankfull for all that will be there. My MIL passed away 10/22 this year and I think I cried more this week then I have since she passed away.

My mom is living in a mobile home that she bought after the hurricane and this is now her permanent residence. She lived outside of the levy system and her house was washed away. She said she is too old to rebuild and she no longer drives so she moved closer to my sister and aunt so they can drive her around (I live about 50 minutes away).

[BronxTigger]

BronxTigger,
I am so sorry you could not make it home for Christmas. I complain about having so many people in one place but deep down I know we would not have it any other way and I am very thankfull for all that will be there. My MIL passed away 10/22 this year and I think I cried more this week then I have since she passed away.

My mom is living in a mobile home that she bought after the hurricane and this is now her permanent residence. She lived outside of the levy system and her house was washed away. She said she is too old to rebuild and she no longer drives so she moved closer to my sister and aunt so they can drive her around (I live about 50 minutes away).

Thanks.

Sorry to hear about your MIL. The holidays can be tough.

Makes sense about the trailer. At first I thought you meant one of those FEMA trailers, but the mobile home option makes sense in her (unfortunate) situation. A friend of mine just went down to New Orleans a few weeks ago to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity. I couldn't get off work or I might have gone too. I've never been down that way but I'd like to at some point.

[kakn7294]

My MIL passed away 10/22 this year and I think I cried more this week then I have since she passed away.Lori, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time this week. We were doing some last minute decorating tonight (yes, I procrastinated!) and when I pulled out several things that were my MIL's, they always get me and she's been gone for nearly 9 years now. It does get a little easier as the years pass.

[Momof2boys]

I'm all for being different ! I remember the first year we made the change from a formal sit down Christmas dinner to various hot appetizers - the horror, the unjustice, the snide comments.

I just told them that it's my Christmas too and that I want to enjoy the day with my family and don't want to spend it slaving away in the kitchen.

[DizneyRox]

My sister just called and has me really angry and upset about our holiday meals. Christmas Eve dinner is at my house - every year for the past 12 - 14 years (I lost track). Every year, I usually cook turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, etc. My Mom then cooks Christmas Day dinner and always has the same foods the next day - and I hate that. So this year, I decided to shake things up a bit and we're having hot sausage, meatballs, scalloped potatoes, chicken soup, and various other foods so that we're not eating the same things for 2 days in a row. Here's what has me upset: both my Mom and my sister have complained about the menu - well, not outright complained, but have made snide little comments about this person won't like that and that person won't like that. I can't believe that they have the nerve to complain as I do all the planning, shopping, prep-work, and cooking myself - and I am a pretty good cook. I don't complain about my Mom's choices for a meal and my sister has never, ever cooked a holiday meal - actually, that's not quite true either. She has her DH's family and my parents over for Christmas Eve lunch. I've never been invited because she figures I'll be too busy cooking for dinner anyway (she's told me this). This is why I feel like a Grinch and hate the holidays. If it could be just my DH and DD's, I'd be so much happier.
I'd go to the store and get some cold cuts, bread and condiments and put them on the table. It's not about the meal, it's about the family.

[jillluvsdisney]

I agree with you about changing your meal. There has been some good advice here for you and I hope you are still able to enjoy your holiday. We can't please everyone all the time. Those kind of people get ulcers.

After the holidays, I think you should mention to your sister that she is more than welcome to cook next year.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

When we all get together at my sister's for Xmas Eve, she decides what to serve. My other sister and I bring stuff. We usually ask what she needs and she'll give us a category, desserts, appetizers etc and it's our choice what to bring in that category. It seems to work out well. But we do this for every meal regardless of who is having the meal. And we all pitch in and clean up too. But there are always family members who thrive on drama. The trick is to not let them get to you. I know, easier said than done!
I hope you have a Merry Christmas anyway. And I too would love to sign up for the Disney Christmas trip!

[Crystal Palace]

Family or not, nobody has the right to complain about what you're making. They should just be glad for your hospitality, and eat whatever you put in front of them. How rude! I don't blame you for being angry!

[kakn7294]

All in all, things went well. We ended up with 5 extra family members than were originally planned for and I think everyone forgot to complain after the raccoon attack - see my other thread (http://www.intercot.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=122387)currently running here in the water cooler. I guess I was upset over nothing.

[crazypoohbear]

When we all get together at my sister's for Xmas Eve, she decides what to serve. My other sister and I bring stuff. We usually ask what she needs and she'll give us a category, desserts, appetizers etc and it's our choice what to bring in that category. It seems to work out well. But we do this for every meal regardless of who is having the meal. And we all pitch in and clean up too. But there are always family members who thrive on drama. The trick is to not let them get to you. I know, easier said than done!
I hope you have a Merry Christmas anyway. And I too would love to sign up for the Disney Christmas trip!


that's cuz I'm a good person!
It really isn't about the food, it about the fun and family (some of them anyway):blush:
I don't think when I'm dead and gone anyone is going to eulogize me about what I served for Christmas eve dinner! Hopefully they will all raise a glass of chardonnay and toast the good times everyone had with me!

[princessjojo]

All in all, things went well. We ended up with 5 extra family members than were originally planned...
I'm glad to hear things went well. Afterall, that's what Christmas is all about just being together.

[disneydeb]

I eventually ended up asking my sister to come over for dinner tonight (the 26th) for leftovers . They came and just left. We had a great time together and they just left. They had Italian at her MIL's , so they were happy to get leftovers leftovers of ham, turkey, dressing, geen beans, sweet potatoes, broccoli casserole, creamed corn, fruit salad and assorted deserts. All is well that ends well. think everyone - myself included - just gets so intense trying to have the perfect Christmas. Christmas is such an emotional time for everyone.

Love to all!

Now let us rest and enjoy our new toys!:D