Would you send your 18 year Old DD ? [Archive]

J.T.Toad

10-01-2007, 09:02 PM

hubbyofadisneyholic

10-01-2007, 09:50 PM

Interesting question...my daughter will be 18 on Thanksgiving Day, is also an honor student, active with the Teen group at our church and is very responsible.
That being said, I would not be comfortable with having her and one of her friends going to WDW alone. It isn't a question of not trusting her per se, it's a question of with thousands of people there the possibility of her inadvertently getting in way over her head.
If she is going to have to deal with a "situation" I would rather it not be 1200 miles from home. Obviously every parent has their own view on this subject.
With her being an only child, I freely admit that we probably keep a closer eye on her than we need to. :blush:

Tink&Goofy

10-01-2007, 10:18 PM

My almost 16 year old daughter has already "informed" me that when she graduates, her and her best friend are going to DL. I actually have fewer reservations about her going to DL than WDW - especially staying on site. She is 15 going on 20 already, and I trust her, but I would rather let her spread her wings a little at a time. That being said, she is going to Costa Rica next summer on an exchange - and I haven't quite gotten used to that idea yet. I think it really depends on the kid and also their experience at WDW.

MsMin

10-01-2007, 10:32 PM

Since you asked and since Parenting is a large part of my job I will give you my opinion based on your description of your DD's.
My biggest concern would be the length of time; but, considering you are coming from such a distance and it is Disney it is understandable.
Honestly, I would prefer to send my own to Disney w/ a few friends than to a Tropical Island with a larger group. You have more info on the smaller group and they can get into more trouble even w/ chaperons with a larger group. Not anything personal against chaperons but it's the odds that more ppl and kids can get into more situations than they could w/ a group of closer friends.
As soon as I talk about parenting I get flamed but one of the most common errors that a parent makes with managing teens is too have total control then decide they have reached the age and let them go. Many times this happens when they leave for college.
I think that letting them travel alone to Disney will be a great experience and a great test b/c as much as we hate for them to grow up it's still happening. So take advantage of the times where they can test their responsibility in a controlled environment.
Money management is important too. Teaching them to live by a budget (which varies by family) goes a long way in helping them learn that money doesn't come easily and to be aware of their spending. Sometimes less is more. Money is about the best source you have for limiting and monitoring a young adult's excursions and extracurriculars.
At 18 you can have house rules but most of the structure is over. Tell them your expectations and let them know that no matter what they can always come to you.
They have my vote for the trip- I do believe that on-site is much safer than off-site and I don't believe they are of age to rent a car but do restrict funding for road trips.

RobWreck

10-01-2007, 10:43 PM

IloveDisney71

10-01-2007, 11:10 PM

Is she going away to college? If so, I can virtually guarentee that there are more opprtunities to get in trouble there than in WDW. At least at WDW, you have a pretty good idea of what's going on and it's generally a wholesome, family fun environment. College? Not quite the same... so if you trust her enough to go away to school, then WDW shouldn't be too much of a worry. Just set some reaonable ground rules about checking in (once a day?)...
Rob
I have an 18 (almost 19 year old DD) and she and a group of friends were planning a trip to WDW. The plans fell through. I was hesitant, but she is in college now so I've learned to let go a little. Mine was going to stay on-site so I felt better about that. I say set some ground rules and have her check in at least once a day. I think WDW is one of the best places to let her test her wings.

suewho85

10-01-2007, 11:58 PM

If you're interested in an honest opinion from some one who was 18 not very long ago . . . My friend's parents sent a handful of us to WDW for our high school graduation (we were all 17 or 18) and again for her 21st birthday this summer. We were perfectly fine. Most of the time when we were doing stupid things (and trust me, your daughters are going to do at least a few stupid things while they're away from you, no matter how good they are) there was no one around. The resorts get pretty quiet after ten or eleven (we were at OKW both times) so when we went swimming after the pools closed we were usually the only ones around, or it was people around our own age. Your daughters are too young to get into most of the clubs at Pleasure Island and Disney's pretty serious about carding so it will be tough for them to get alcohol. There's also not really "dangerous men (or women)" around. At PI its a different story, but again, there's not much for them there because of their age. The only time I got hit on the last time it was by some kid by the pool who was way out of his league.
Really, as long as your girls stay together in a group with their friends they'll be fine and I'd expect they would because honestly, Disney's not a place one goes for "alone time."
Additionally, I'm sure they have cell phones, demand that they check in two or three times everyday. If you're footing the bill for their trip, you've certainly got the leverage to do so.
I truly think that if your girls are as smart as you say and have good heads on their shoulders they will be absolutely fine on their own.

Pipalotta

10-02-2007, 12:10 AM

I like another poster is only recently been 18, Ill be 23 in Nov, I am not yet a parent so my "advice" is that from experience. Around here it is tradition for graduating seniors to go down the ocean for a week which is know as "senior week". Granted the beach is only 2.5 hours away but there is so much chance for bad things to happen it is not even funny. Most kids spend their days with hang overs on the beach and their nights puking from drinking. The first time I went to Disney I was 19, AND DROVE THE WHOLE WAY! We had one problem when I had a blow out and did have to call my mom about the insurance but other than that I had to do everything my self. Once in Disney I never felt nervous or like I could be ever in danger.

Is she going away to school? Think of this as a practise run.

mttafire

10-02-2007, 12:23 AM

IMHO, Send them!!! I agree that college with expose them to ALOT so Disney will be fine!
Remember this...We (America) have 18y.o.'s right now serving in the Military defending our freedoms while at war. I think your Daughters it sounds like has EARNED your trust. If you ask me...Do it. The have earned it.

BigRedDad

10-02-2007, 03:00 AM

As long as they go as a group, I don't see a problem with it. They are going to be leaving for college soon, it is a good first step for being away.

vizsla

10-02-2007, 05:37 AM

A few of my fellow co-workers have sent their children as a graduation present to WDW along with a few friends this past year. Everything went well, and there were no problems. I would say Go For It! The are old enough to be responible and it will give them a little experience on being able to handle some things on their own.

tinkerbell04

10-02-2007, 01:00 PM

I too, say go for it. Tell them to stick together and to have fun!:mickey:

thrillme

10-02-2007, 04:38 PM

First of all I think they are plenty old enough to go. Besides they're going to be on their own soon anyway and legally they are adults.

HOWEVER...I do think you ought to "adopt" ME to chaparone!:D

MinnieMommie

10-02-2007, 08:55 PM

HOWEVER...I do think you ought to "adopt" ME to chaparone!:D ME as in Magical Express or as in Moi...only kidding - I am sure you mean Magical Express. :mickey:

Use your intuition about your daughter's readiness. Also, think about sending a chaperone with them. An older cousin or family member. A friend of the family who is a bit older and has more travel experience. Maybe go yourself but let them come and go with each other. It is perhaps more protective that there will be more than 2 of them, especially if none of them are impulsive. I sent 2 of my girls with 2 friends when they were in college. They are experienced Disney travelers, know the parks and Disney system quite well and stayed on property. They had a ball and there were no glitches (at least none that I know of). They went for spring break. Your girls are a bit younger than mine when they went but only you can judge what is best in this situation. :mickey:

princessjojo

10-04-2007, 06:20 PM

I agree with the majority of posters here and say send them. It's a great gift to give your girls and as many others have said before, they are of legal age at 18. There really shouldn't be too many decisions that need to be made other than what to ride next. If you have paid for the trip in advance, they have the dining plan added, and travel expenses covered, the only thing extra is spending money and emergency money. If you think 10 days is too long, you could send them for the full length of the trip and you could pop in for a couple days in the middle or end to just spend some time. I wouldn't think that would be necessary, but could be a solution to any uneasiness you may have.

I hope my boys show that much responsibility when they graduate. I was planning the same thing for them rather than sending them to Myrtle Beach where many of the seniors in our area go for graduation. Now that is worth worrying about.

DisneyGiant

10-04-2007, 06:29 PM

I would send them also.

I would have loved to have gone when I was 18!!!!

tundramom

10-04-2007, 07:59 PM

Sounds like you've done your job and raised good kids. This is the perfect opportunity to start letting them spread their wings. My DD is 12 going on 20 and has already asked for exactly what you are proposing for a graduation gift. We plan on allowing this as long as she keeps her act together. With multiple trips under her belt she knows the parks layouts, pretty much has the transportation figured out, and has been managing her own money for the past 3 trips. I figure we'll get at least 6 more "practice runs" ;) in before she solos.:joy::clappy::minnie:

kim1st

10-04-2007, 08:57 PM

My kids are 5 (almost 6) and 3 1/2, so I'm in a WAY different place right now.

If I were giving one of them that gift, I'd probably go along. Not to stay in the same room or to micromanage their vacation, but because I'd love any excuse to go!!!! :mickey:

I lived in France for a year my 2nd year in college - when I was only 19, and I would have to agree that there were MANY more opportunities to get in trouble at college!!!

Frighteningly - at 18, someone could be sent to Iraq :(...if you're comfortable that they're responsible - they'll be FINE at Disney. :mickey:

illini

10-05-2007, 10:36 AM

I am ITA w/Ms Min. Send them. There are so many ways they can get in trouble and WDW is a pretty safe "test run." I think it will also help them to feel more grown-up and independent, which may even keep them out of a little bit of trouble once they go to college (and boy do I know about trouble in college!).

My only recommendation is to make sure they stay on site, which I'm assuming you were planning. They can't rent a car, and the WDW transportation can't be beat. Offsite, they could end up stranded.

Bethis26fan

10-05-2007, 10:43 AM

I would send them as well. They have each other to keep in check, plus if you were worried you could have a time they have to call. Like when they get in for the night or when they get up in the morning.

Samtastic

10-05-2007, 11:25 AM

This is what I am wondering

I have two Daughters .
Both Daughters are as responsible as a parent could hope for.
Both Daughters are doing very well or in Honors Classes with a 3.7 and above grade point average.
I am planning to treat them along with their close friends to WDW for ten days before they attend College.
My feeling is that the are adults at 18.
That WDW is a Great place to get their feet wet.

Bottom Line
What do you think ?

FIrst off, I'm coming from the younger perspective, being 22 going on 23.

I'd start out with contacting your daughter's friends' parents. See how they feel, see how they feel about you footing the bill, etc... They may not want to send their children. I think it is very gracious of you to pay for them for 10 days, but that seems like a long time (and a lot of money). I'd certainly try to use this oppurtunity as a time to teach them about the responsibility of money (When I went to WDW with my DBF last year I paid most of the way, with them only contributing money as a birthday/holiday present).

And I'm sure your girls are very bright and intelligent young women, but school smart does not equate to street smart. Speaking as one of those smart bright, AP-class taking, high SATs and GPA students, a lot of my friends were stupid when it came to street smarts and the kids in my classes certainly were NOT angels. (:thedolls:) So just because they're college bound and good in school, does not mean they can't get into trouble. But then again they are off to college which is a MUCH MORE dangerous situation than WDW.

Basically I'd just say follow your intuition, you know them better than any of us--but definately check with their friends' parents first.

bleukarma

10-05-2007, 12:28 PM

FIrst off, I'm coming from the younger perspective, being 22 going on 23.

I'd start out with contacting your daughter's friends' parents. See how they feel, see how they feel about you footing the bill, etc... They may not want to send their children. I think it is very gracious of you to pay for them for 10 days, but that seems like a long time (and a lot of money). I'd certainly try to use this oppurtunity as a time to teach them about the responsibility of money (When I went to WDW with my DBF last year I paid most of the way, with them only contributing money as a birthday/holiday present).

And I'm sure your girls are very bright and intelligent young women, but school smart does not equate to street smart. Speaking as one of those smart bright, AP-class taking, high SATs and GPA students, a lot of my friends were stupid when it came to street smarts and the kids in my classes certainly were NOT angels. (:thedolls:) So just because they're college bound and good in school, does not mean they can't get into trouble. But then again they are off to college which is a MUCH MORE dangerous situation than WDW.

Basically I'd just say follow your intuition, you know them better than any of us--but definately check with their friends' parents first.

I agree with Samtastic. Maybe checking with their friends parents to see what they think. Otherwise, I don't think it's a bad idea. The only suggestion I would make is cutting it from 10 days to 5 or 7. 10 days is a long time and the longer time they spend there the more likelyhood of something happening. But there is no other place on earth that I would feel safer about sending a young person on their own. I've done it before with friends (including my 21st trip where I wanted to let lose :thedolls:) but only for a few days. Even on that 21st birthday I never ran into trouble. I would absolutely suggest they stay on-site! But I'm sure you already knew that! Good luck with your decision! :mickey:

Disney Doll

10-05-2007, 01:40 PM

I say let them go. Make sure they are going with a good group of friends, have them stay on site so they don't have to worry about transportation, and have them check in each night. It sounds like a lot of fun and from what you have described your DDs are mature enough to handle it.

Tink1

10-05-2007, 02:52 PM

My son spent his senior year of high school in Japan. He was 17 when he got on the plane to go to a country that he could not speak the language, read, nor understand. He went to live with people we did not know, in a country we have never been to. He wanted this more than anything, ever. I had to trust him and Rotary International.

Was it hard? Oh yeah!
Given a choice would I do it again? Oh Yeah!

It was the best thing that he has ever done, and it changed him from a child to a man

Same son went to WDW for Spring Break his freshmen year of college, had a blast. I was much happier sending him to WDW than Cancun for Spring break!

Sounds like you have raised fine children, I would send them

Nanc

cinderellagrl

10-05-2007, 07:40 PM

Each year millions of young adults (18-20) go on their first spring break trip. Usually these trips include foreign countries, drinking, and who knows what else. My parents sent myself and a few other kids to disney world for our first spring break (in college), and our first trip without adults. They were hesitant at first, but they knew that disney had to be the first place they sent us without them. It is a family location after all. They trust disney, we know disney, and we were not alone.

I agree that there can be scary moments that young adults may have trouble dealing with at first, but life throws many a curve, and eventually they will have to handle everything on their own.

Our flight was cancelled, and through our our brains, and a little help from our parents, we managed.

Let them have fun, in a safe environment!

pixiesmimi

10-05-2007, 11:38 PM

It is always scary to send them out the first time alone. I would rather send my DDs to WDW than to the beach or a cruise. Mine wanted to go on the senior cruise that they take every year and I said No. I'm glad I did in light of things that have happened recently on cruises with teens. If they are staying on property, I would say it would probably be pretty safe but would make them check in periodically.

It scared me to death to send my DD off in high school to Russia with a group and this was before cell phones. After hearing about some of the situations with the airlines and things when they got back, don't know that I would do it again, but everything was fine and she learned a lot about how to take care of herself and had a wonderful time. She is a very outgoing and independent person now and I think this helped her some. My DDs would have loved for us to send them to WDW for a week after high school. I think I would cut it down to 5 or 7 days though. 10 days is an awful long time and too much down time to find things to get into. And they will, too (get into things). :) I think I would worry more about them driving down than the stay there.

TammiMcMan

10-06-2007, 12:02 AM

I was married and on my own at 19, so I didn't really give it a second thought when my daughter asked about going with friends as a high school graduation gift. Their group was too large for 1 value room, so they ended up staying at the Doubletree Suites in Downtown Disney. It was 7 days and they had a great time. No problems to report. You know your daughter better than we do, if it's something you're comfortable with, go for it. Just talk about any concerns you might have up front and hope that you'll always be the little voice inside her head.

RedSoxandPatsfan

10-06-2007, 07:16 AM

They're old enough to go off to college or War then they're old enough for WDW. I would let them go. They are young adults and it will be a great place for them to "go it " alone.

SandmanGStefani24

10-06-2007, 08:20 PM

my 2nd trip, we went with a school function and I was 15. there were about 200 of us, and only 20 directors and chapperones. for all intensive purposes, we were on our own. at that time, i was at my worst as far as trouble and attitude went, and WDW was able to keep even me in line. there were almost no opportunities for us to get into any kind of trouble, and aside from smoking once or twice while we were there, we were kept in check. if WE didn't find trouble, certianly your daughters will be fine.

as for them at college, that's another situation. save your grey hairs for those times!

:D:D

teamblackwell

10-07-2007, 01:52 AM

Hi all,
Think about how many parents that have 18 yo. kids in basic training right now, getting ready to go to Iraq. WDW seems pretty good, all in all. Safety in numbers!!! thats the key.

Disneyfirsttimer

10-07-2007, 12:34 PM

My children are still young so I don't have any direct experience. Our neighbors DD18 graduated in June. She is the oldest of 4 children. Our neighbors are very good parents and very involved and they are good kids. She allowed her DD to go with a group of 6 girls to WDW for 5 days. They stayed on property at CBR and had a great time. I know my neighbor was nervous, but trusted her daughter and WDW overall is a safe place to be. I agree with another poster who stated I would prefer WDW over Cancun anyday!

Her DD went away to college this fall. We live in upstate NY (about 50 miles north of New York City) and her daughter is going to college in Long Island. She stays on campus, but comes home some long weekends as it is only a 1.5 to 2 hour drive. I think it is a good experience to build on their independence.

Good luck with any decision you make!

Karyn

tinksmom02

10-07-2007, 08:53 PM

If I were giving one of them that gift, I'd probably go along. Not to stay in the same room or to micromanage their vacation, but because I'd love any excuse to go!!!!:mickey:

I feel the same way, if Jenna's going, then I'm going, too LOL

Seriously, it sounds like you're raised two wonderful young women (congrats to you!). It sounds like a wonderful experience, and I think you should send them.

brewcrew26

10-08-2007, 10:34 AM

It depends on each individual teen. My parents sent my best friend and I to WDW in 1998 (we were 17 and 16 at the time) with my older brother (he got sick on the trip, so we were essentially on our own).

We had to check a couple of times per day with both my brother and both sets of parents. We had one of those walkie-talkie things (it was before teens really had cell phones).

I think it was a way for both of us to prove to our parents that we could be left alone in a big place and be responsible. It really helped when they let us go away for college the next year because they knew that we could already handle ourselves in this controlled situation.

Plus, I think both of us would have been mortified if we did anything stupid on the trip. We wanted to be viewed as young adults and not irresponsible teenagers.

irish1967

10-08-2007, 01:16 PM

Just going to echo the previous thoughts that 10 days seems like an awfully long time for a "first trip"

Also, it is a very expensive treat for the friends. Although my children are not that age yet, I would feel very uncomfortable with the cost associated with the gift. A shorter trip may alleviate some of those feelings (if the other parents think the same way I do)

Sounds like a wonderful gift. Your daughters are lucky to have such a thoughtful (were you a mom or dad, I don't remember!)

TheRustyScupper

10-08-2007, 05:35 PM

1) They are 18 and adults.
2) Let them go.
3) They will be in college in a few short months.
4) They will probably act worse while away at school.

teambricker04

10-09-2007, 12:34 PM

I think you should let them go and have a blast! I agree... better than sending them to party central at a beach!

If you trust them everyday, then trust them with this. If you are still hesitant, then go too, but stay at a different resort and check in once a day.

I hope they have fun!!!

limegreenmonorail

10-09-2007, 06:40 PM

Might want to double check...I thought the minimum age for renting a room at Disney was 21, as it is in most hotels. You don't want them to have trouble checking in because they're too young.

TammiMcMan

10-09-2007, 07:32 PM

Might want to double check...I thought the minimum age for renting a room at Disney was 21, as it is in most hotels. You don't want them to have trouble checking in because they're too young.Disney's minimum age is 18 for renting a room.

chicade88

10-09-2007, 08:44 PM

Well, coming from a 19 year old who planned and executed a pretty great trip this past summer, I would say to go for it! Most 18 year-olds are going to be going to college soon where they won't have parents or direction for their every move and could possibly be just as far away. I would venture to guess WDW is pretty safe! If you think about it, you can drop them off at the airport, DME picks them up, and then they'll have the resort busses to take them everywhere so it isn't like they'll be fighting traffic or anything. I always felt extremely safe! I know some of my friends probably couldn't have handled it though. I'd say you know your daughter best!