Please help with girlfriend's fear of flying!

[Finiamh]

We are wanting to go in Dec-08 and she has a fear of flying. I have gotten her over the fear of the plane crashing and such, and am now working on the "cramped space, not knowing who is on the plane with you, what if someone smells bad near you" aspects of flight.

I know Xanex is an option but thats a last resort. Any other tips and tricks would be greatly welcomed. She is excited about being at Disney for her first time, it is just the getting there that gets her stressed.

Thanks!!

[tink'72]

I also have a fear of flying and I've come to the conclusion that it's a control thing. I have flown a few times BUT get sick over it and the trip is no fun...sooo we have resorted to driving. :car:

[LauraF]

My mother is afraid of planes. For her, in general, distraction works best - something that doesn't allow her to dwell on being on a plane. (This is when a great imagination can hurt. Unexplained sounds and sights can get people freaked out.)

If you can, bring a portable DVD player/watch a DVD on a computer for the trip. I did the latter on a recent 6hr trip and wow, did it make the flight, well, fly by. Crossword puzzles, books, knitting, handheld games, mp3 players, or other such items have always helped my family in the past.

For crowding, it may backfire (because then she can see the ground), but the window seat always feels like it has more elbow room to me. Plus she could put you on the other side of her, which would help her feel more safe from strangers.

For the potentially smelly people, a little bottle of that handheld body spray would overpower the nearby smells of others. Or a personal fan might help. At worst case, the fan at each seat would blow smells away. But reassure her - I have a VERY sensitive nose and I'm rarely bothered on planes. (Food smells occasionally get to me, but on a short flight they're rare.) They often exchange the air between flights, plus the open doors on boarding/exit help with reducing smells.

For being afraid of other people, well, that's more difficult. Is she just afraid of general people or terrorists? If it's the latter, there's not a lot you can do but reassure her. That's not controllable by individuals. For the former, just stay close to your GF, and try to intercede between her and strangers. Keep reassuring her and she should make there without a meltdown.

Hope that helps!

[Finiamh]

Thanks for the help so far.

It's not terrorists so much as it is "some psycho or drunk" period just causing trouble. I think it is very much a control thing. Getting on a plane is her giving up control of her being able to get away from cramped spaces, smelly people or someone causing trouble. I assured her that if anyone causes trouble on a plane no other passenger was going to stand for it.

Keepem coming :mickey:

[Wolf]

Do what my mom did, keep reminding her "Ok hun if you can make it *this number of hours/minutes* on here we will get to see Mickey soon" Or "Be in Disney soon, not long on the plane to get to be in WDW for a week" Or however long yall are staying. I hate to fly and am terriffied of it but its a 1 hour flight compared to a 10 hour drive. I brought my Ipod and the Passporter and distracted me by talking about what we would do first (even though we had planned for months prior) it really helped.

[Momof2boys]

I, too, have that fear of flying. I did resort to asking my doc for a prescription, for which she gave me Ativan. I need to be by myself on the flight - don't like people talking to me, can't stand to move so the person next to me can go to the bathroom, etc. I just crank my Ipod and close my eyes until we land.

[Bubbie Girl]

I just returned on Monday from my first flight too and from WDW. I too was very afraid to fly and we had driven there 6 times before and it took us 2 days to get there. Well we decided to go with DBIL and DSIL and to fly. I stressed about this for 3 months. I even got meds. from my Dr. but when i tested them our one day before we left it left me tired that whole day and part of the next i was just not myself. I did take them along in my carry on thought just in case. I did not use them though.
Now for my flight i was nervous but I did very well. I sat between DH and DBIL. DSIL was across the isle. I do not like close places and when I first boarded I felt a little cramped but after I got seated and the air blowing on me I was ok. Take off scared me a bit but i was ok and the rest of the flight was fine. The clouds look so beautiful and I took a find a word book and that kept my mind occupied and off the stuff i was worried about. I did not smell anything bad and other than a loud child the people were fine. I actually enjoyed the landing and being there in 2 and 1/2 hours was great. I was ok with the flight home.
Believe me when i say I was scared to fly but it was not nearly as bad as thought it was going to be. Hold on to her hand and talk to her alot during take off and remind her how much fun you are all going to have at WDW.
Hope this helps. I sure appreciated all the help everyone gave me on here before my first flight.

[sashiroo]

I have a few issues myself. Xanax is a wonder! I tend to feel cramped and closterphobic on a plane, but I pop a Xanax 30 minutes proir to boarding and I'm great. If your friend gets a prescrip from her doc, tell her to ask for a low dose. .25mg does just enough to relax me. Good luck!

[Finiamh]

We are staying for a little over a week. It will be about a 2-2 and a half hour flight from Austin if I can find a non-stop.

Correction, she is still a little worried about whatever part of the plane she is flying in, suddenly falling off in flight. Poor thing.

[crazeedizneefinatic]

I also have a fear of flying. I absolutely hate it. But I hate the 26 hour drive even more so I do force myself on the plane, lol. I do take a doctor prescribed Valium before boarding. Xanax is a much much stronger pill and may make her sleepy or worse yet the anxiety worse (that is what happened to me). Valium is much safer and no crazy side effects. As far as the fear of smelly people I don't think there is any help for that one except knowing that in all the times I have flown I have never ran into that. The fear of cramped spaces can be tough too. Airplanes are cramped quarters. We always bring a portable DVD player to pass the time. My husband always holds my hand and gives it a squeeze everytime we hit a patch of turbulance, just to reassure me. It seems like your girlfriend may be more relaxed and suited for an amtrak trip, if indeed that is an option. Good luck!

[me...]

As far as tight spaces go try and get an exit row or what they call bulk head seating where no one is sitting in front of you. You have ALOT of leg room and to me at least you don't feel cramped. And if anything take some sort of sleep aid or something like nyquil so she can sleep the whole flight.

[thrillme]

Once you successfully get her on the plane. Hold her hand at takeoff. Be sure you take a DVD player and headphones. As soon as you can chunk in one of her favorite movies and she'll forget about the flying part.

It's so much more "dangerous" to drive 18-21 hours than it is to fly for 2.

[mjm12000]

I would try to get an aisle seat so that she has room to move and will not feel as trapped. I would also sit closer to the front end of the plane, this way she can not see the wings which I know can cause some people to panic when they flap a bit. Then it is all about distractions like a good book, movie, or Ipod.

And if all else fails I would say medicate, but do a test run first to see how she reacts to the drugs as you do not want her to have an adverse reaction while boarding or worse while on the plane.

Maybe have her try some deep breathing as well. And of course let your flight attendant know that she is nervous to fly as well, that way they can re-assure her and often they have some great and creative ways to help out as well.

[plutogal27]

I too have a fear of flying. I'm a basket case before take off. I usually calm down about 30 mins into the flight.

What works for me and might work for your GF (if she is of age and does drink) is a glass of wine about 30 mins prior to boarding. We fly out of DFW and there's a sports bar that DH and I go relax in prior to boarding.

Another thing that I've learned is that if the flight attendants are calm, then I'm calm. We had a really turbulent flight once and even the flight attendants were freaking out. DH almost lost an arm during that flight. He actually had bruises from my fingers digging into him. He took it like a champ though!!! :D

[jwallace378]

I get so anxious about flying that it used to ruin my whole trip thinking about the flight home. I've resorted to driving everywhere andmy wife is fine with that. By the way...I tried Xanax and Valium (not at the same time) from my doctor and neither of them worked for me.