He said What????

[Flower]

My oldest son is 3.5 and goes to daycare 3 times a week. For a little over a month we have occasionally caught him using [a very bad] word.

We tried time outs
We tried ignoring him
I have tried the 'No treat for you'

Nothing seems to work. My concern is that he has said it at daycare on 2 occasions. I signed a clause when he started school stating that they have the right to kick him out for swearing.

He even tells me on the way in to school that "He won't say bad words today", he KNOWS the word is bad. I have told him that if he gets mad at someone to tell them 'No thank-you' and he knows to do this. I know too that there are other kids that say it which does not help.

Any advice would be appreciated!:blush:

[carley]

we had the same problem with our son when he was four... we used a different word for him to express himself ... the word didnt work for us... so we taught him to use "Jimminy Crickets"... although not the greatest plan of attack.. it sure was better then them bad words he was bringing home with him. we found it was just a passing phase and only lasted a few weeks.... time outs ignoring and everything else didnt work for us either. good luck

[Dakota Rose]

My son first said [a bad] word when he was 18 mos old. We encouraged him to say "aw pickles" instead, and that helped. But, recently (he's 3.5 now) he started saying it again and when time-outs, spankings and toy deprivation didn't work, we resorted to an old-school method: we washed his mouth with soap. It's never been a problem since. When we see him getting frustrated and acting like he's gonna say it, we just say, "We don't want to use soap again, do we?"

It sounds barbaric to some, but it worked for us. A good friend of mine used to be 'punished' this way as we were growing up and she turned out fine. :)

Another friend of ours puts a drop of hot sauce on her daughter's tongue if she says a bad word.

[Donald]

Well, I hope your daycare is not associated with a church; you don't want that lecture!! Trust me:nono:.

We have unfortunately had a couple of lectures from our Christian day school/childcare. My oldest son mooned his kindegarten class:covered::eek:. His teacher informed me that some older kids dared him to do it. Wonderful!:mad::shake: Well, he got quite the lecture when he got home!! The following year, he said the word also.:-o After I received the "sermon", my son got one all the way home!!!!!! It must have worked because that word has never come out of his mouth again!!!:thumbsup:

Good luck!

[crazypoohbear]

I don't see any thing wrong with the soap.
I used it on my youngest and then had to bite my tongue because he started licking the walls and yelling "what are you doing, don't you know that you only use soap on your hands!"
I explained that just like washing dirty hands I had to wash the dirty words out of his mouth!
He didn't use that word again! (at least for a long time)
It's not the first thing to try but we all were "abused" in some way growing up and most of us turned out okay.
BTW, he heard the word from his dad not me!:blush:
HE kept saying Daddy said .... I kept saying don't say that word, he repeated I didn't say the word Daddy did:blush:
So daddy got a lecture on using bad words in front of the little boys.

[Lizzie]

I don't see any thing wrong with the soap.
I used it on my youngest and then had to bite my tongue because he started licking the walls and yelling "what are you doing, don't you know that you only use soap on your hands!"
I explained that just like washing dirty hands I had to wash the dirty words out of his mouth!
He didn't use that word again! (at least for a long time)
It's not the first thing to try but we all were "abused" in some way growing up and most of us turned out okay.
BTW, he heard the word from his dad not me!:blush:
HE kept saying Daddy said .... I kept saying don't say that word, he repeated I didn't say the word Daddy did:blush:
So daddy got a lecture on using bad words in front of the little boys.


Sorry about your sons language. But I laughed out loud reading this. I have the hardest time disciplining some times because I just want to laugh.

[Marilyn Michetti]

I don't see any thing wrong with the soap.
I used it on my youngest and then had to bite my tongue because he started licking the walls and yelling "what are you doing, don't you know that you only use soap on your hands!"
I explained that just like washing dirty hands I had to wash the dirty words out of his mouth!
He didn't use that word again! (at least for a long time)
It's not the first thing to try but we all were "abused" in some way growing up and most of us turned out okay.
BTW, he heard the word from his dad not me!:blush:
HE kept saying Daddy said ... I kept saying don't say that word, he repeated I didn't say the... word Daddy did:blush:
So daddy got a lecture on using bad words in front of the little boys.


Did you say, "he was licking the walls"? I've seen my kids act out in strange ways over the years, but that's a new one.:confused:

I would say, "we use soap on every body part that needs cleaned". Dirty mouth - soap!:secret:

Getting kicked out of daycare is serious, but otherwise, he's just trying to walk on water. What worked for us 35 years ago, is probably illegal today, so my advice is to keep your sense of humor. He sounds like a bright, logical child, You're just going to out-logic him, somehow.:D

I'm interested in following this thread.

[Flower]

Not to justify his actions, but I realized today when I dropped him off today that a lot of his 'friends' have moved up to the senior room and he is left in the junior room, making him one of the oldest. I am wondering if part of his 'actions' are to do with him being bored because most of his friends are gone.

There seems to be one boy in particular , still in his class, that sets him off. This is the boy who expressed that "Daddy says stupid [stuff] all the time". Brandon also was caught calling him a poo poo head yesterday.

I spoke to the school today, and because Brandon was born in March they do not plan on moving him up until next summer, but there is a possibility he could get moved up earlier.

Anyway, on our way to school today he was telling me he would not say any bad words because Mickey doesn't like little boys who say bad words and he wants to go back to Mickeys house so he can ride on the mondo rail (Yes, monorail has a D in it in his eyes!) Also, I told him again if he was mad to say no thank you and instead of poo poo to say pickles, so we will see what happens today.

[ImagiAsh]

For a good laugh on this subject, go onto youtube and type in "Kassie and Monsters". It is hilarious! :laughing:

[thrillme]

Pickles or any word that's "fun" to say...my DS loved to say "Bubbles".

He really didn't have a "language" issue because if he did...I automatically blamed Daddy (the most guilty culprint)

Alas...SOAP worked years ago and very very few children every went blind :cool: due to "soap posioning"...sorry ya'll I just can't get "Christmas Story" out of my head.

I think all this will resolve itself as soon as that word isn't "fun" anymore...Hopefully he won't win a giant "lady's leg lamp".

[Scar]

My suggestion is to find the source of where he is hearing these words and make sure he is not around this source. If he doesn’t hear anyone else using them, neither will he.

I was probably at least 10 years old the first time I heard (or at least remember hearing) a curse word.

[offwego]

Soap!!

My DB (around say 9-10??) had the worst case of potty mouth but never used it around our parents. My other brother and I kept telling them (cause I'm talking pretty serious stuff here) and they said oh no we would have heard him.

Finally watching a movie with Mom, myself and some friends of mine (all of whom had been treated to potty mouth boy before) he let some out...Let me tell ya my friends and I had the palmolive in his mouth before my poor mother could close her mouth.

He was fine..and stopped cussing for years. Course he won't buy palmolive but other then that no lasting damage.

[princessjojo]

:rub:Initially, I thought to myself, he knows it's wrong but does he know why it's wrong and you did answer that later.

I did this for a while when I was about 4, and the worst of times was at my Grandmothers dinner table for Sunday lunch. She asked if I wanted some cabbage and I so calmly replied, "No, I don't want any of that [stuff] :blush: My mother said she could have crawled under the table and never come out. Later, at about 8, being the know it all, told the same grandmother that I knew what a really was, a female dog, then proceded to tell her I learned it at school.:teach: That one I do remember because she was adament that I was going to be enrolled in private school from that point on. Never happened btw.

Boy did I get the soap in my mouth, and have used it as a last resort for my children. They don't generally say bad things, just tell stories and it did curb the trend or maybe they just got better at telling them. I would keep a toothbrush and ivory soap by the sink for those very occasions and would scrub those bad things out. At 12 & 10 I still keep them by the sink, but would have to get a new toothbrush now. It's gotten really dirty and dusty from lack of use lately.

Good luck though, and maybe Mickey will do the trick for you.:thumbsup:

[PirateLover]

Here's a funny story. My brother was playing with metal cars featuring Sesame Street characters when he was 3 or 4. He made Bert crash into Grover and all of the sudden my parents hear " Where'd you get your *gosh darned* license at, Pep Boys you blank" and then pretended to spit.
My mother was aghast and acted shocked but my dad knew right away where he'd learned it from. Our grandfather (mom's dad) picked him up every day from pre-school and had a bit of a temper/foul mouth. Not sure how they taught him not to swear, probably just said don't listen to pop-pop. :secret:

Good luck with your kid wish i had more advice :)

[ChipDale]

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This topic will be deleted if you cannot continue the conversation without reverting to those methods.

[LibertyTreeGal]

I tried everything with my twins until one day someone suggested using liquid soap. (It's not poisonous) IT WORKED, BY GOLLY!

And the threat of it still does -- even with my strong willed child :)

But one of the reasons it works is because I only use soap for bad language. I don't use it for other discipline issues.

[Dakota Rose]

I just remembered that another friend of mine "fines" her daughters when they say or do something bad. Typically the fine is a quarter that they have to give her from their piggy banks. If it's a major recurring issue, the fine is a $1 for the older one. Maybe that would work.... :)


I'm kinda curious to know what worked for you Marilyn Michetti!!!!

[drummerboy]

We have unfortunately had a couple of lectures from our Christian day school/childcare. My oldest son mooned his kindegarten class:covered::eek:. His teacher informed me that some older kids dared him to do it. Wonderful!:mad::shake: Well, he got quite the lecture when he got home!! The following year, he said the word also.:-o After I received the "sermon", my son got one all the way home!!!!!! It must have worked because that word has never come out of his mouth again!!!:thumbsup:

Good luck!
I'm sorry, but I'd have had to lecture the school about my child learning the bad behavior there and what were they going to do about it? :thedolls:

[conorsmom2000]

I have no advice to give as we've been lucky in this area - Conor really only did this when he was about 18 months old and would "parrot" people or couldn't correctly pronounce certain words. (Unfortunately one of those parroting incidents took place after Mike got cut off on the George Washington Bridge when bringing him to NY to meet me at my Grandmother's funeral! :blush: So we learned early on to be careful!)


I just remembered that another friend of mine "fines" her daughters when they say or do something bad. Typically the fine is a quarter that they have to give her from their piggy banks. If it's a major recurring issue, the fine is a $1 for the older one. Maybe that would work.... :)

This made me laugh because in our house it's the opposite - now, at the age of 7, Conor takes such offense to people saying bad words (not just what he might consider a curse word, it's any type of word that we've taught him is not nice, including "stupid", etc.) that he fines us! Doesn't matter who you are, Grandpa, Uncle, Cousin, friend, neighbor - if you slip and say anything he doesn't like, he charges you a dime!! :D

[Flower]

My suggestion is to find the source of where he is hearing these words and make sure he is not around this source. If he doesn’t hear anyone else using them, neither will he.

The main source seems to be the boy in his class that claimed his dad says it all the time. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be any way of really separating them as they are in the same class. DH and I are careful about what we say.

Yesterday went well at school - no incidents, so for a treat he got to go swimming at Papa & Grandma's house.

[crazypoohbear]

Did you say, "he was licking the walls"? I've seen my kids act out in strange ways over the years, but that's a new one.:confused:

I'm interested in following this thread.

Marilyn, I should have been more descriptive...
When he had the soap on his tongue I wouldn't let him have a drink of water to wash it off ( would have defeated the purpose!)
so he started licking the walls trying to get the soap off his tongue!

[Scar]

The main source seems to be the boy in his class that claimed his dad says it all the time.Ahh... Then in that case I would follow drummerboy's advice.
I'm sorry, but I'd have had to lecture the school about my child learning the bad behavior there and what were they going to do about it? :thedolls:

[Here we go again...]

Why does this post remind me of A Christmas Story? :funny::funny:

[Minniemouse27]

I would totally turn this back on the school.

At 3.5yo he is parroting what others say. Yes he knows that it is wrong but at that age they don't have very much impulse control.

My dd is now 6yo and dh's mouth isn't as pristine as it should be around those learning to talk. :rolleyes: Whenever dd said something inappropriate we told her so and then went forward. The bigger the deal you make, the more fun it is to say!

I would still address this w/ school as he is picking this up there and they need to deal w/ it.

Also, it's ludicrous that they won't move him "up" sooner.. dd was always moved up 6-8mo BEFORE her age group because that was what was best for her developmentally.

[janebanks]

Sorry about your sons language. But I laughed out loud reading this. I have the hardest time disciplining some times because I just want to laugh.
One day, after my 2.5 year old son hit his friend, when I was putting closure on the resulting time out, I asked my son, "Do you remember why you're in time out?" and he replied, "Yes, mommy, because you put me here."

[thrillme]

Why does this post remind me of A Christmas Story? :funny::funny:

I agree whole heartedly...:D Said that too a little earlier. I still keep picturing that "leg lamp" and "Soap Posioning".

[tinkx2]

If you don't like the ideal of using soap. I used vinigear. I just stuck my finger in it and put it in my daughter's mouth. OMG you would have thought I tried to poision her. She coughed and gagged you would have thought she was dying. After that I only had to say the word... worked for just misbehaving problems too.