How Old is too Old?

[DawsonAR]

How old is too old to take your DS into the Ladies restroom. In todays world it is scary to let my DS go into the Men's restroom alone.

[Tink1]

This can always turn into a hot topic, like pool hopping-so lets be kind here! LOL

My sons were uncomfortable by the age of 6-7 to go into the ladies room.

I would either find a family bathroom that was not in use and stand outside the door, or let them go in the mens room while I stood outside the door (nervously).

My mom always said the "age of reason" was around 7, so that was the guideline I went by

Nanc

[Mickey'sGirl]

My mom always said the "age of reason" was around 7, so that was the guideline I went byI did too. If DS9 needs to go by himself (no family washroom, or no dad nearby) he knows the rules, and recites them to me before he goes in. No speaking to ANYONE, and use the stall with the door closed. He always comes out looking so determined and serious that I know he has followed the rules to a T -- I don't care what anyone thinks -- nothing is more important than his well being.

[SBETigg]

I don't think there's an actual age limit. I think it depends on what you and your DS are comfortable with. When my DS got to a certain age, he just would not go into the Ladies room, by his own judgment. I think he was between five and seven, but I don't recall because I usually had my DH with us to take him.

And yes, it is scary to let them go alone. I remember watching who was going in, watching who was coming out, standing by the door, and being anxious until the DS came out again. In some places you feel safer than others, but it's nerve-wracking almost every time until they get older. But you do have to learn to let go-- and stay close anyway.

[Jeri]

My son is 10 and he has a weird thing about not going into anywhere that has a door that closes and/or he can't see me.
He has always been this way but he has been worse since he and the neighbor boy got stuck in a bed room and the door would not open.

I always try to encourage him to just go he will be fine but he is just terrified of new places.
He is even like this when we go to some ones house (including family). If he doesn't feel comfortable he won't shut the door so he can see me still or I have to go with.

I talked to the Dr about this and she said that because of his Aspergers and sever anxiety that we just have to take it slow and wait untill he is comfortable with the situation.

It makes it hard sometimes because I have to look for family rest rooms all the time.
When my husband is with he goes with him and then he is ok with that cause Dad is with.

I will still take him with me in the ladies room if I have no choice(he thinks nothing of it). I tend to get alot of weird looks because he looks completely normal, but I just tell my self that they don't know me or my situation .

I say do what ever feels right for you and your family. I know many will disagree with this but sometimes you have to ignore the looks and comments.

[DawsonAR]

My son is 5 and I know we are getting close to the time he must go alone. Our next trip he will be 6. I hope DH will be around at all times, but in reality, there might be times he won't.

[DawsonAR]

Jeri, I understand your issue. I have a special needs child too and we get "looks" from people from time to time who don't understand. Sometimes it bothers me but I know people who aren't in my shoes can't possibly understand what it is like.

[snifflesmcg]

I have a 9 year old nephew and is mature beyond his age. Whenever I have him and we are out, I allow him to go by himself, even as of last year. I stand outside the bathroom just in case he needs me. I don't think there is a set age, just as long as both you and your son are comforatable with it.

[LibertyTreeGal]

My son Andy has spina bifida and is still in diapers, and if Daddy isn't there to help him out (he's 6) then I take him in to the ladies room. I often run into women in there with older boys than that, and we all smile sympathetically at each other.

However, even if he wasn't special needs, some of the Disney bathrooms have two separate exits and it would be terrifying to get separated.

Some women may get offended, but my child's physical safety is more important than their comfort level. People my age didn't create the kind of world where we have to be scared to send our boys into bathrooms, but we are the ones who have to deal with it!

For the record though, I've never had a lady get angry about it -- everyone knows what kind of world we are living in....

What they need is more family bathrooms where everyone can go in together. But until they do that, we're using the ladies room (but his twin hates going in and avoids it at all costs! LOL)

[biodtl]

I think I took DS in with me until he was about 7 or 8. He's 10 now and I still worry. I don't take him in anymore because he didn't want to, but personally, it doesn't offend me at all to see an older boy in the ladies room.

[DawsonAR]

Thanks for all the feedback. I feel more comfortable about taking my son if I need too. :thumbsup:

[tyandskyesmom]

Tyler is 8 1/2 and it really depends on the place. At Disney, the zoo, and restaurants that we know generally he is allowed to go on his own but anywhere else (the mall or Sam's Club or places like that) he usually comes with me. I don't see a problem with it. I don't, however, let Skye go with Lou unless there is a family bathroom. She is only 3 and tiny so she cannot even get on the pot by herself so we have not gotten to the point of independence...she is just happy that she does not have to hold on anymore!

[vamaggie]

I know the gym we go to says "over 6 must use same gender locker room" so that seems to be an accepted age. My DS (9) has been uncomfortable about going into the ladies room so we try to find a famliy room when we can. If not and DH is not with us, he uses the mens room (same rules as another mom posted--seems the "mom gene" is a reality!). Still DS knows that if he takes too long I am going to start "talking" to him (as in "Name, is everything ok? I'm coming in")He also knows that if he goes in and something doesn't "feel right" that he will come out right away. Definately stay close to the door--seems to make everyone more comfortable.

[kakn7294]

I don't have any boys but wanted to chime in and say that I'm not offended by a mom taking a son into the ladies' room - even an older one. I would think that about 9 - 10 yo (depending on the maturity of the child) is about the upper limit of when they should go with mom. In the case of special needs, you do what you have to do regardless of age if a companion restroom is not available. I have 2 girls, the youngest is 7 yo. When I'm not with them, they use the ladies' room themselves because neither DH nor I can stand the thought of them walking into a room full of men standing at a wall of urinals. At least in the ladies' room, the toilets are behind doors!

[thrillme]

I think about 7 is a fine age depending on the maturity and capabilities of your child. If "I" have to go I used to have him stand just inside the bathroom near the front of it. When he reached about 8/9 he became very uncomfortable with being IN the ladies room period. I pride myself with being able to "tinkle" and "wash up" quicker than any MAN on the planet...thus I allowed him to start waiting for me just outside the door.

As far him going into the men's room...I started letting him about 6/7. He has always been a very mature young man. I waited just outside the door. Now at 11 he'd rather have his toenails pulled off rather than do his business in a ladies room.

Special needs...by all means...you need to go with the needs of the child.

[r4kids]

There was another thread similar to this, I believe for going into the stall with your DD. Anyway I have 3 DD's and 1 DS. At age 6/7 he really didn't want to go in the ladies room, so I stood outside the door and after a couple on minutes I called his name and get a "yes I am ok" response. Most of the time I wouldn't get any "crazy lady standing next to the mens bathroom" looks, but if I did I really didn't care. DS is now 9 and is mature and responsible but when we go in Sept, you can bet if there is an occasion where DH is not there, I will be standing outside the bathroom door :mickey:

[AvonleaCF]

This type of thing is so common no one really gives it another glance. As long as your son (or any child, for that matter) behaves and doesn't peak under stalls or make a mess or something I don't think anyone has a problem.

[Cinderelley]

I think when kids reach school age and are divded into boys & girls bathrooms at school is when the boys start balking at going into the girls' bathrooms. I remember being nervous when my DSs started going into the boys' room by themselves. There were even sometimes when I asked men coming out if they had seen little blonde haired boys in there. A lot of the time they would comment on having nervous moments while they were waiting for their daughters.

[RockChalkKimball]

I went last year, just me and DS. So, without DH there to take him to the restroom, I had no choice but to let him go on his own. We solved the problem with walkie-talkies. He had it on him at all times, so if I got nervous I could talk to him. This made me more comfortable and he certainly didn't want me to call him when he was in there, so he always hurried up.