It's OK to say NO

[thrillme]

Quite recently many of us have noticed kids are out there selling stuff for school, boy scouts, band etc.

I really hate selling stuff but it's not going to stop tomorrow so I'm not even going to go there in this post.

What I do ask is IF you're approached by one of these kids...if you don't want to buy anything please simply tell them "No Thank You" and carry on. Recently...my DS has been selling popcorn for Boy Scouts. (No don't anybody panic...I'm not trying to sell anything )...

Sometimes on weekends he and several other boys may stand by the exit of chain stores (Lowes, Walmart, Sams, Walgreens etc) and ask if you would like to support scouting by buying some popcorn)...Some buy it, some say No Thank You...but some tell these kids..."Uh...I've got to go to the bank first then I'll come back...". PLEASE...if you don't wish to buy anything please tell these kids the truth rather than get them all worked up about you coming back. I explained to my son that sometimes people have a hard time simply saying NO.

I know this isn't ONLY happening in Boy Scouts...I've seen it happen in a lot of OTHER places too.

[PirateLover]

I agree that it's wrong to lie but sometimes people just feel so bad. I personally am not a fan of groups that set up shop outside of stores... but I know in this day and age it is dangerous to go door to door, and mom and dad shouldn't be responsible for getting donors in work so where else do the kids have to turn to? I have to say though, sometimes kids can be downright rude if you say no. I live in the city and there are many youth groups that sell candy outside of local stores to raise funds for trips without adult supervision and they are worse than beggars sometimes. I try to help out when I can but you can't give to everyone and I think kids don't understand that sometimes.

[Deesdisney]

I have no problem with kids selling but the older ones that try to sell to go to Bermuda or somewhere really get me. I always say no thank you but they do not get the answer. I always buy from younger kids in the neighbor hood.

[jonsmom]

I for one dont like putting cash into someone's hands. I just dont trust that the $$ will go to the right place.

[Donald]

I am tired of parents dropping order slips on the break room table!!!!!! If a child puts out the effort to [U]politely[U] ask to purchase their item, I am happy to contribute.

[mttafire]

I hav'nt bought this stuff from kids for years. I just simply say "no thanks".

[kakn7294]

I'm one of "those" parents who puts their kids' order forms on the break room table. However, I feel that no one has to purchase anything - if they want to that's great and we appreciate the support. If they don't purchase anything, I don't hold it against anyone but then when it comes time for others to sell something, I do make it a point to support the kids of those who have purchased from me first - what goes around, comes around.

[DisneyAddict62]

My kids have two different fundraisers going on right now! But we usually just hit up family members!

What gets me are the older kids that just stand outside these stores and just beg for cash! They don't even make an effort to sell anything! How hard is it to buy a box of candy bars! There is a group of cheerleaders in our area that have been at about every store in town in the last week. (They aren't from my kids' school.) I just politely tell them that that I won't give them cash, but if they'd like to contact our restaurant, we'd be happy to do a fundraiser with them. We never hear from them. Imagine.

A couple of years ago, a group was at the grocery store across from our restaurant. When they were done, they came over to buy pizza! I wouldn't take their order because they were digging in the cans for the cash! They weren't too happy, and I'm sure they went somewhere else and got food with the money. I told their supervisor about it the next time she came in (she is a regular customer), and she wasn't too happy. They should have had a chaparone with them in the first place in my opinion!

[LibertyTreeGal]

The problem is generally that people feel manipulated to buy things (in the form of guilt) and when people feel manipulated, they feel cornered and will often do anything to escape.

The popcorn thingie came home with my twin cub scouts too, and we aren't buying or selling the stuff. $14 for a box of popcorn that costs $4 in the store? No way! We donated money directly to the troop instead, since the United Way gets the bulk of the money anyway and our local troop sees almost nothing.

That came on the heels of the school fundraiser, yikes! Kids peddling junk all over the place. And they are offered incentives and feel badly if they don't get a certain level (where they are rewarded with a certain number of toys). It is pure evil.

What I don't get is this -- why is someone more willing to spend $20 on fundraiser stuff (where the group gets maybe 40%) instead of just giving the cause a $20 bill? *sheesh*

And what are we teaching our kids? Boy Scouts used to do actual work to earn money for their trips, now they sell things. I don't see where that is teaching boy Scout values....

Oh, and my best story, way back when before i had kids, someone placed a chocolate bar in my pocket and said, "You owe my kid a buck." They were dead serious.

My response? "Anything that goes into that pocket is a gift, so this is your one chance to remove it."

[baldburke]

I agree with the majority, enough is enough. It is never ending with the fundraisers. I've actually gone to my management to ask them to ban these items, but they were reluctant to. And the kids that stand out in front of the chain stores begging like palpers, it is a shame that their parents let them stoop to that level. Why don't they just stand at the traffic light with a squidgy?

[LibertyTreeGal]

Originally Posted by baldburke

I agree with the majority, enough is enough. It is never ending with the fundraisers. I've actually gone to my management to ask them to ban these items, but they were reluctant to. And the kids that stand out in front of the chain stores begging like palpers, it is a shame that their parents let them stoop to that level. Why don't they just stand at the traffic light with a squidgy?

You know, part of the problem is that the things these fundraisers buy are over the top or unnecesary. The cost of these boy scout trips is exhorbitant. Boys do not need to go to Alaska camping, they need to camp out in the woods near where they live.

Schools are buying things that are not necessary for education, like t-shirts and popcorn machines (like at our school) and having free movie nights. I got along fine without these things, as did everyone else before me. Popcorn on thursdays isn't helping anyone learn anything....

[Jenemmy]

It's so hard to turn the little one's down. At times I help them out, the times I can't I always smile, tell them no thanks and be sure to wish them luck.

Now, I tell ya the people that get ME (and sorry - this veers off a bit, but still relevant) the folks at those kiosks in the middle of the mall that will not let you past their cart with begging, cajoling and following you a bit..UGH! The ones at my mall are selling some type of hand lotion and are SOOOO pushy! I was there yesterday and employed my cell phone to have an IMAGINARY conversation on as I walked past their cart just to escape the harassment!!!

[conorsmom2000]

It's funny that I read this today, after spending $42 last night on 2 cheesecakes that I don't really need or want - but, I did it to support my nephew! He was raising funds to go WDW in April next year to perform on Main street with HS band and choir - how could I say no to that??

Originally Posted by LibertyTreeGal

What I don't get is this -- why is someone more willing to spend $20 on fundraiser stuff (where the group gets maybe 40%) instead of just giving the cause a $20 bill? *sheesh*

I think because a lot of people like getting something for their money. Giving $20 to an organization doesn't do it - they want something for that $20, even if it is overpriced.

I see things a little differently as I run a non-profit with my family and I'm the President of the Parents' Association at Conor's school - I feel like I am always asking people for money. And I hate doing it, but it is necessary. We start off the year asking for a $10 enrollment fee for the PA at school - $5 of that goes to the PA, $5 goes towards field trips for every student in the school. Out of 270 kids in the school, we have had 78 families enroll, which is average for us. So, that already puts us in the position of having to fundraise, just to cover the rest of the field trips, not to mention the other things we do. If every family joined the PA, we could knock off one fundraiser - but for their own reasons, they choose not to.

Our "big" fundraiser just ended - and again, out of 270 students, we had 77 orders. We get a 50% profit from this fundraiser - and we did take in $1,500 more than last year. No one likes doing it, and I really only ask one friend to buy stuff (her kids went to this school, so she still likes to support it).

But, the bulk of the money that we raise goes back to the school - teachers get a check from us in October to buy items for their classroom, we gift the school with things they need, we give scholarships to 2 students in every class to cover the costs of the summer enrichment programs, we do assemblies for the school (this year the author of the Scooby Doo mysteries is coming! ) etc. But, this year, we are using a small amount just to do something fun - we will be having a pumpkin picking day at the end of October - our courtyard will be made over with hay bales and corn stalks, we're having 300 sugar pumpkins delivered - kids will be about to have a donut and juice, and pick a pumpkin. Is it something necessary? No. But it's nice to do something just for fun, and to give the kids 15 minutes to enjoy a little bit of fall festivities.

Our principal won't let us do a movie night, or games night at our school, though others in the district do. If I could, I would absolutely do it - no, it's not about learning, it's about making the school a community and bringing families together for a night. I know our school could definitely benefit from that type of situation.

But, back on topic, for the most part, fund raising is not easy - for the person doing it, or for the person who doesn't want to purchase anything. So be polite, on both sides, and it makes things much easier!

[Jenemmy]

Originally Posted by conorsmom2000

It's funny that I read this today, after spending $42 last night on 2 cheesecakes that I don't really need or want - but, I did it to support my nephew! He was raising funds to go WDW in April next year to perform on Main street with HS band and choir - how could I say no to that?? :

Well THAT'S different!!!! Cheesecakes for everyone And, where do I sign up to be in this band? Do I need to actually be able to play an instrument??

[conorsmom2000]

Originally Posted by Jenemmy

Well THAT'S different!!!! Cheesecakes for everyone And, where do I sign up to be in this band? Do I need to actually be able to play an instrument??

Well, they always need someone to hold the banner!! They are all so excited - my niece got to do this 2 years ago, and now it's my nephew's turn - though, this time, Disney invited the choir as well. I think it costs each family $800 to send their child (then of course, what they pay so they can be there!) so the fundraising really helps!

[kakn7294]

Some organizations cannot accept donations and keep the money at the group / troop level. If my Girl Scout troop is given a donation (other than what I ask parents to donate in order to pay for snacks and supplies for meetings), I'm supposed to give it all to the counsil or go through filling out miles of red-tape paperwork to explain why we need to keep this money at the troop level. At the end of each year, whatever money we haven't spent on the girls / troop gets taken from us by counsil, leaving only $20 per girl in the troop account. And half of that money is to be used to pay for registration, leaving only $10 per girl for supplies for the year.

[SBETigg]

I think it's sad that even public schools have to rely on fundraisers now. No one likes them, but they are effective and a necessary evil. I think most of us have had to help our kids with a few of them and we understand what it's like and are either willing to help or willing to politely say no thank you. It's too bad some people have to be rude in saying no, or pushy in the selling, but what a great feeling for the kids when they do well with it and see the results of their efforts.

[Tinkerfreak]

Last year our school stopped giving out the prizes for the most sales. Some kids just did not have a parent who worked with hundreds of people who ordered from them. They just encourage selling to family and friends but there is no pressure to sell the most to win something. My brother and I don't order from each others kids fundraisers anymore, we just spend that money to order extra things from our own kids fundraisers. My oldest daughters school collects one flat amount at the beginning of the year to help pay for field trips etc. My DH and I always go out and fill the teachers wish lists in any way we can. We spend about $150. on extra supplies for their teachers and classrooms and I was happy to help out. In the end the fundraising would have cost me that much anyway. Whenever they get a book order home I let each dd order a book and then I send an extra $5 to the teacher and ask them to order a book for a child that may not be able to afford it. They make it like a raffle only they make sure the child that needs it wins the raffle. I know not everyone can afford to do this so I am happy to help out.

[conorsmom2000]

Originally Posted by Tinkerfreak

Whenever they get a book order home I let each dd order a book and then I send an extra $5 to the teacher and ask them to order a book for a child that may not be able to afford it.

That's a wonderful idea and I may just steal that and do it when we get our order forms home!! Conor has a brand new teacher this year, with her first classroom so she's in need of supplies as well - we just donated (I'm almost embarrassed to say) 120 of Conor's old books (Henry & Mudge, Junie B. Jones, Magic School Bus, etc.) to her for her classroom. Conor's such a huge reader and with scholastic orders (which we've gotten through his preschool since he was 3), I've always been a big book buyer, as he's like his Mom and likes to re-read his favorites over and over, but now he's outgrown them so I was happy to give them to her. She had tears in her eyes when I brought them in, she was so happy!

And normally my siblings and I don't purchase for each others kids either - especially the ones in town, as we do similar fund raisers. But, I insisted that he bring me the cheesecake one - this is for Disney!!

I've often thought about doing a "booster" program at the school, rather than the fundraisers - if we asked for $50 per family, it would be cheaper & easier for everyone, and we'd make about $5000 more than we do with fundraising all year - but, we wouldn't get it. Some can't afford it and some would just choose not to do it. So, next up is our fresh Thanksgiving pie sale - anyone need a pie?

[SBETigg]

Our school system also has a black tie gala- $50 per person, but you get to dress up, get out without the kids, and socialize with other parents knowing all the proceeds go to the school. It seems steep, but we'll spend that to go out to dinner, so why not?