Dealing with long distance relationships...

[Dulcee]

Anyone else out there dealing with a long distance relationship?

My DBF and I have been together for three years now and are finally in the home stretch with me being away at college and being 3 1/2 hours apart from one another. (When were both home were still a good hour from each other but its easier..) Anyway we were trying to figure out when we'll see each other next but with his work schedule as a new police officer and mine revolving around senior level college projects its going to be at least a month until we can see each other again. I know in the grand scheme of things its not terribly long but it falls over both my birthday and valentine's day, just makes me feel lousy...

[Strmchsr]

I know how frustrating that is. Sorry you're having to go through it. When I was in college I dated a girl for 2 years that lived 3 hours away. I wish I had a cell phone with unlimited long distance back then! I definitely know what a heartache being apart can be, but that girl and I have now been very happily married for 12 years, so I can definitely say it's worth it. Hang in there!

[AFDisneyFam]

My situation is a bit different than yours, but I know exactly how you feel. My DH have been married nearly 11 years. He serves proudly in the Air Force, and the kids and I just hang on for the ride. :-) We have been separated for the past 20 months, with just 4 more to endure with him in the Middle East. Because of the time difference, we find it hard to connect on a regular basis, but thank God for e-mail and Saturday phone calls! We have missed many holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries since he's been in the military. However, I've begun to realize that those are just dates on a calendar. The spirit behind those holidays can be replicated on any day of the year. Often times, we find it much sweeter to share chocolate candies in May or have Christmas in July. I come from a family of law enforcement officers, and I know exactly what your DBF is going through. Trust me, his only constant thought right now is going home at the end of each shift so he can talk to you and make your next visit more special.

Anything worth while is worth working hard for. If you've both stayed in this long, you've obviously got something very special. Hang on to those memories, do what you need to do to be successful in your own right, and think of all the wonderful ways you'll make up for the dates you've missed! HTH

[Melanie]

It's stinks, but you can get through it if the relationship is serious and secure. My husband and I dated living in the same town for only about 6 months before he moved to Texas and then ultimately was commissioned in the Marine Corps. We then lived 6 hours apart for the next 20 months, even as newlyweds, seeing each other every few weekends.

Through the years, we've been apart a lot because of his military obligations. And yes, his time away is often during holidays, birthdays, etc., but like Renee said, they are just dates that can always be celebrated later. For me, it always makes me treasure our time together even more after being apart.

I know when you are young and in love it's hard to be away from each other. Sounds like you are both really busy though, so that should definitely make the time pass more quickly. You can do it! Make sure you do something fun on your birthday with family or friends.

[Tink2002]

Did the long-distance thing during my first year of college and it was hard, but I found that it made the time we WERE together that much better. And I totally understand even now about work and school getting in the way - my dbf and I have been living together for a year now and I feel like a lot of the time with his job and my school we operate on totally opposite schedules and still don't get a lot of time together, he works most weekends and our schedules rarely are the same. Take advantage of texts, IMs, skype or a webcam, and just get through the holidays you'll be apart for... I can even now symapthize with what it feels like to do birthdays or valentines solo - but if you truly love each other that's the most important thing!

[The Reservoir Dog]

My long distance relationship was from London to Houston TX. We were only able to be together on average 3 to 4 weeks a year. When we were apart we really were grateful that you can get very cheap international calling rates (our first phone bills were horrendous).

Believe me it was very tough but we believed in ourselves and worked very hard at keeping the relationship going.

When I finally popped the question we agreed that it would be best for her to move to London with me after we got married. That was two years ago now. She has settled in nicely and like any True Brit she is constantly complaining about the weather

My very best wishes to you. Just hang on in there, believe in yourselves and I'm sure you're patience will be rewarded.

[DisneyDog]

I've never had a long distance relationship, but I have 2 friends who did. One was a couple who went to HS together but went to different colleges. She went to school in Delaware with me, and he went to school in Wisconsin. Then, after college, he went to law school away from home (can't remember where). They got married after he finished law school, so they dealt with the separation thing for 8 years.

The other couple was a bit more of a long distance relationship. He was from New Zealand and she lived in Philly (although she was from China). They were both scientists. He came to Philly to do research at the same institue where she was working. He didn't like it here, so he moved back. They kept in touch with email (and this was before Skype and all that) and he came to visit her once and she went to visit him, and then ended up staying. They got married too.

So, it can work, you just have to stick with it

[Dulcee]

Thanks for all the responses. Just being in a comitted relationship for this long in college makes me the odd one out, and very few understand why I choose to stay in a long distance one at that. All of you said the same thing I always say, the little time we do get together makes all the waiting worth it.

[hokies4life]

It definitely takes alot of communication and hard work, but in the end its worth it. My BF and I were together for about a year and a half at the same school and only about an hour apart on breaks. But then he graduated since he was 2 years ahead of me and went 1600 miles away for Grad School. We spent another two years apart and only seeing eachother on breaks. It was hard but we still made it feel like we were together as much as we would have been if we were seeing each other everyday. We've now been together since I graduated in May and hopefully not getting having to be separated from eachother again anytime soon.

Good Luck with you're situation and I hope you find a way to see each other soon and celebrate those occasions together.

[ll MaJiK ll]

Hi Dulcee.

I actually just started a relationship with someone and she is ~1,000 miles away. Long story, but I went to HS with her and we found each other on Facebook. She was in my area for the holidays and we caught up. She was home for 2 weeks and needless to say that when she left, something was started.

She lives in Orlando (which is where I want to move to be closer to Disney anyway) so it works perfectly. However, we find ourselves booking flights to visit each other on the weekends.

We are constantly looking for the best prices to fly. Yesterday I booked a trip on JetBlue from Newark to Orlando for $324. I'll be with her Feb 13 - Feb 16.

It's tough when you have a long distance relationship, but you have to sit back and just enjoy the fact that there is someone missing you for who you are and that eventually you will be together again.

[MNNHFLTX]

My husband took a job up in New Hampshire right after we got engaged, so did the long distance thing for seven months (I continued to live in Florida during that time). We really racked up the long distance phone charges! Plus we were planning a wedding during all this. It was a very stressful time.

It's never easy being apart from the one you love, I do think that it's a bit easier today than it used to be. With the internet, cell phones and long-distance packages, you can literally talk (and see, with a web cam) each other whenever you want. In addition to that, try to make the most of this time, even though you are apart. Focus on school and cultivate the other friendships that you have. You might be surprised how quickly the time passes.

[Hayden's Dad]

Hey,
I dated a girl about three hours away for two years. We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in Disney World last October. It can be very hard, exhausting, frustrating, but it does make the time you are together all the more special and you have to keep in mind that "this to will pass" and in time you can be together all the time. Hang in there.

[sportsguy2315]

I currently am in a LDR, have been for five and a half months...I'm in Minnesota while she's in Texas. Also being in college, a lot of people look at you and wonder and ask why, I just and know in the end everything will work out. Also, I can't imagine doing this without such blessings as say unlimited long distance on my cell (aka my savior).